The Shadows of Christmas Past

  Cole exchanged a long look with Jase, even as his hand came up to capture Maia's. To press her palm tighter against his heart. "Good question."

  "You think we should try to light a fire?" Jase was breathing too fast, almost gasping for air. He actually looked scared, searching the living room as if someone might have heard them talking.

  "Calm down," Cole said gently. "You're starting to wheeze. He's dead, Jase. Keep telling yourself that. This is our house now, and we can have a damned fire in the fireplace if we want to have one." He allowed Maia escape him. "You're right. We have a ghost in the house, and I want him gone."

  Jase slowed his breathing, following Cole's direction until the wheezing was gone. "All right, we'll light the fire."

  Maia followed them into the kitchen. Cole swept his arm briefly around Jase's shoulders. It was momentary, but he'd done it obviously without thinking about it and that pleased her. "I'm sorry if I'm stepping on everyone here," she said. "I'm not trying to push anything on the two of you. You're both obviously uncomfortable with having a fire. We don't need one. Please don't change everything for me. It's your home, do whatever makes you comfortable."

  "Our father liked to brand things," Cole said. "Including people."

  Maia winced at the grim tone. She stared in horror first at Cole, then Jase. "No way." She felt sick, actually sick.

  The brothers nodded.

  How did anyone survive such a childhood? Who was she to tell them how to get over it? Horrified at the things she'd said to Cole, she gripped the back of a chair, her knuckles white. "Please don't feel like you have to celebrate Christmas for me. Is that what you're doing?"

  Jase shook his head adamantly. "No, I want to celebrate it for my mother. I thought a lot about what you said. She loved this house. He wouldn't let her have any of the things she wanted in it, but she would tell me what she'd put in spots if she had her way. She wanted cream-colored drapes in the library. She said they'd look great with the wood."

  "Cream-colored drapes? I guess we're going to change the drapes." Cole raised his eyebrows at Maia. "You know anything about drapes?"

  She laughed just like he knew she would. "Don't panic. We're grown-up. We can figure out how to fit drapes." Maia didn't feel like laughing, but Cole was trying to bring back levity for Jase's sake, and she was more than willing to help him.

  Cole knew he could get used to the way the house felt with her in it. Jase set the table, and Cole pulled a chair around for Maia. "Sit down. You're looking a little pale. I'll see to the horse tonight. Maybe you should have let me put a couple of stitches in that cut on your head."

  "I don't think so." She glared at him. "You come near me with a needle, and you'll find out how mean I can be."

  Jase snorted. "You're a baby, Doc."

  "Oh, like you'd let him sew up your head! I'd wind up looking like Frankenstein's mother."

  Jase grinned at Cole. "She'd make a great monster, don't you think?"

  "Great, just like the The Nightmare Before Christmas. I'm Sally."

  Jase and Cole exchanged a puzzled look. Both shrugged, nearly at exactly the same moment.

  Maia groaned. "Don't tell me you're both so deprived you never saw that movie? Good grief. Live a little. Rent it. I'll even spring for it."

  "Yeah, she says that now with the snow coming down, but once the roads are clear, she's going to renege," Cole said. "Eat your steak."

  "I don't eat meat, but the salad's wonderful," Maia said politely.

  Jase took one look at Cole's face and burst out laughing. "I wish I had a camera."

  "And why don't you eat meat?"

  Maia made a face at him. "I told you why."

  "I guess I could understand if animals talk to you all the time," Cole teased.

  The tone was gruff, but Maia was pleased he'd actually managed to say something to kid her. She tried to keep a stern face, but she knew her eyes gave her away every time. When she wanted to laugh, it always showed.

  "You wouldn't want to eat your clients," Jase added.

  "Oh you two are a laugh a minute," Maia said. "You should take your little comedy act out on the road."

  "She's getting grouchy. Must be the headache. Women, by the way"--Cole leaned across the table toward Jase, to impart his wisdom in a conspirator's overloud whisper"get headaches a lot."

  Jase's grin widened.

  Maia lifted an eyebrow. "Really? I wouldn't have thought you'd get that reaction, Steele, but now that I've spent time with you, I can see it."

  Jase nearly fell off his chair laughing, so much so that Cole rolled up a newspaper and smacked him over the head.

  "It's not that funny, little bro."

  "If I'm little, what's Maia? I'm taller than she is."

  "Everything is taller than Maia."

  Maia managed an indignant glare. "I'm not short. I happen to be the perfect height. Sheesh, not everyone has to be a moose."

  "Now she's calling you a moose," Jase said. He was laughing so hard he was beginning to wheeze.

  Cole reached out and put a calming hand on his shoulder. "She's going to kick off an asthma attack if you're not careful, and she'll be chasing you around the house with that needle she uses on the horse. Take a breath, Jase. Use your inhaler if you have to."

  Although he was automatically breathing slow, deep breaths to aid his younger brother, Cole was watching Maia as well. She was clearly becoming distracted, trying to stay in the conversation, but bothered by something he couldn't hear or see.

  "What is it, Doc?"

  The smile faded from her face, and she turned her head toward the kitchen door. "Do you have a patio out there, a shelter?"

  "Of course. Everything is connected by walkways to the house," Cole said. "That way, when it snows, there's no way to get lost."

  Maia stood up, pushing back her chair. "I'll be right back."

  Jase was startled out of his wheezing when she left the room. "What's she up to, Cole?"

  "Lord only knows," Cole said, but he glanced toward the kitchen door. The sound of the wind and tree branches hitting the house could be heard, but nothing else.

  "I like having her here," Jase confided.

  "So do I." Cole realized it was true. He never spent so much time in anyone's company. Jase had been the first real commitment he'd made outside of his job. Maia brightened the house, brought warmth and laughter and a sense of home. His heart lurched at the idea. "Do you think any woman would make this place feel the way she makes it, or just the doc?" He kept his voice very neutral but found his stomach was tied up in knots. The kid mattered to him, even his opinion mattered, and that realization was almost as shocking.

  Jase shook his head. "It's definitely the doc. I like her a lot, Cole."

  Cole crumpled his napkin and threw it on the table. "Yeah, I do too."

  Jase frowned. "You don't sound too happy about it."

  "Would you be? Hell, look at us, Jase. We're about as dysfunctional as two men could get. You think the doc is going to be looking at me. I can't even make up my mind if I want her to." He shoved his chair back.

  "She kissed you," Jase pointed out. "Do you think she kisses everyone?"

  Cole's entire body tensed, every muscle contracting. The knots in his belly hardened into lethal lumps. "She'd better not be kissing everyone," Cole said. There was enough of an edge to his voice that Jase looked wary.

  "Are you angry, Cole?"

  "I just don't trust anything I don't understand, Jase. I don't altogether understand the doc or how she makes me feel." Telling the kid the truth wasn't as easy as he thought it would be when he'd first made the promise to himself. He hadn't counted on meeting Maia Armstrong and feeling so intensely about her.

  "Well talk nice to her," Jase advised. "Otherwise, you'll scare her off."

  "Scare whom off?" Maia asked as she came back into the room carrying her small bag. She was dressed in a thick coat and mittens. "If you're talking about me, Jase, your brother doesn't scare me. He's all growl and
no bite."

  "Where the hell do you think you're going?"

  Jase groaned and shook his head, covering his face with his hands. "Do you ever listen? Even I know you can't talk to women like that."

  "Thank you, Jase," Maia said. "You know, Cole, if you took a few lessons from your younger brother, you might develop a certain charm."

  "Just answer me."

  Maia sighed, color washing into her face. "I have to make a call."

  "A call? What the hell?"

  "You already said that. Didn't he say that, Jase? Yes, a call. I heard an animal, and I'm going to go see what's wrong."

  "I didn't hear anything," Jase said, frowning slightly.

  Cole ignored his younger brother, his gaze holding Maia to him. "Didn't you pay any attention to me saying I wanted everyone to stick together when we went outside?"

  Maia winced a little at his sharp tone. "Yes, of course I did." Truthfully the moment she heard the call of an animal in distress she hadn't thought of anything else. "I'm just going out onto the patio. You can come if you want, but you'll have to stay quiet."

  His blue eyes slashed her as she gave the order, but she didn't look away, staring right back at him, refusing to be intimidated.

  Jase jumped up with determination. "I'm coming too."

  "You just don't want to do the dishes," Cole said.

  The two grabbed jackets and gloves from the rack just outside the door in the small mudroom as they followed Maia out. Cole hung back watching as she stood on the large covered patio looking out into the snow. She didn't call out, and he heard nothing, but she suddenly turned her head toward the north and stepped off the patio into the snow. He moved quickly, catching her arm.

  "Maia, call whatever it is to you. You can't go out into this. Jase and I will hang back out of the way, but you stay undercover."

  The storm had let up some, but it had dropped several feet of snow, and with the next serious storm approaching fast, he didn't want to take any chances.

  "I'm not sure it will come to me with the two of you so close," she said.

  "At least try."

  She hesitated a moment, glanced at Jase, then complied, whistling softly as if calling a dog. The sound of the wind answered her. Snowflakes fell in a continuous soft drift, muffling sounds of the night.

  "I'm going to have to go out to it," she persisted.

  Cole retained possession of her arm. Something was moving just outside his range of vision, the fall of snow nearly obscuring it. "Stay here. I want you where I can see you at all times." He whispered it, straining to see beyond the veil of white.

  Beneath his fingers, Maia suddenly tensed and stepped away from him, moving to the very edge of the patio. "She's coming in."

  Cole felt the hairs on his body raise. He moved closer to Jase, shifting his body to place himself between the unknown and his brother. What he wanted to do was drag Maia back into the safety of the house. While the snow was white and seemed to sparkle everywhere, the clouds were dark and ominous with the continuing threat of the blizzard. He didn't know if that was what triggered his protective instincts or whether it was sheer self-preservation, but his warning radar was shrieking.

  The mountain lion emerged out of the snowdrift, covered in flakes, ears flat, eyes alert and watchful. The yellow-green gaze settled not on Maia, but on the Steele brothers.

  "Maia." Cole reached out and caught the back of her coat, giving it a small tug to try to bring her to him. "Jase, back into the house. Come on, Maia. This is dangerous."

  "No." Maia kept her tone low and almost crooning. "She's coming to us. She's feeling threatened, and any movement on your part will have her running away. Just stay calm and don't move." As she spoke, Maia knelt and patted the patio beside her.

  Nearly belly to the ground, the cat inched its way to her, using a freeze-frame stalking motion, never taking its gaze from the men. The cat crouched rather than stretched out, presenting its left side to the veterinarian, but obviously ready to spring away quickly should there be need. Maia put her hand on the cat's back, fingers sliding into the rich far.

  Cole pressed one hand to his heart and slid the other down to his calf, where his gun was stashed.

  Maia allowed the images from the mountain lion to crowd into her mind. Something moving through the air, nearly over the top of her. A loud noise that had the cat snarling. Men and horses. The scent of man invading her territory. The sting in her side that spread pain through her body and slowed her down, accompanied by the sound of the rifle.

  "She's been shot," she said quietly.

  * * *

  chapter 9

  Maia took a deep slow breath. "It isn't as if I can keep her from going against her natural instincts. If you are going to watch this, please don't turn your back on her and don't stare directly into her eyes. I sometimes look them in the eyes, but I have some strange affinity for wild animals." She kept her voice crooning, as if talking to the cat.

  "The wound is in her shoulder which is a good thing. I'm going to give her both Rompom and Ketamine to knock her out. Jase, it's always much harder with exotics, particularly large cats. Normally you have to dart them, and the problem is, they are very hard to dart down because there is no set dosage even if they're the same age and height, the normal criteria for dosing an animal or even a human. It's different with them because their adrenaline is pumping very fast. It's rare to take a large cat down with one dart." As she spoke she was preparing the shot.

  "Maia." Cole didn't like her in such close proximity, yet she was moving with confidence.

  "Please don't talk. This is very hard on her. She trusts me, but not you. You have to look at the body language of a cat to know what's going on inside of them." She set the dose of Ketamine aside and withdrew a second syringe. "This is yohimbe, Jase. You always have it ready when you're working with exotics. The danger is, they'll fight the drug until they finally drop, but then, as they relax, they can go into cardiac arrest. I think she'll be fine, she isn't fighting it, but we have to be ready. Yohimbe reverses the Ketamine. I'm giving the injection in the muscle and it will sting, so expect a reaction and don't move. Once she's out, you can get close to her."

  Cole kept the gun hidden along his thigh. His heart was pounding in fear, and his mouth was dry, not for himself, or even Jase, but because the sight of Maia so close to the wild animal was terrifying.

  Maia caught the head of the cat in her hands and leaned forward nose to nose, her face inches from the cat's teeth. She seemed to exchange breath with the animal, obviously communicating in some way, but Cole's fingers tightened around the gun. It took a tremendous effort to keep from aiming it at the animal. Maia put her hand on the cat's heart as if matching her own heartbeat with the mountain lion.

  Maia pulled back to pick up the syringe. The cat yowled as she administered it. "I know, baby," she said softly, "it stings, doesn't it? Just go with it and get sleepy for me." She glanced over her shoulder. "I need to work fast, this won't keep her under for long."

  "Can we help?" Cole asked, shoving the gun back into his holster.

  "Remember how I mixed the Betadine and saline? You can do that while I give her fluid. It's going to balloon up at the site, Jase, but the lump will dissipate as the fluid is absorbed in the cat's body. I'm giving her a sub queue of lactated Ringer's solution for dehydration. It's hard to find a vein on the big cats, but they absorb liquid under the skin. I'm putting in the fluids right here in this area."

  "Do you want me to put this in a syringe like we did for the horse?" Jase asked. He crouched quite close to Maia, almost nudging her out of the way.

  "Yes. Use it to flush the wound site. The wound is on the trapezoid muscle, but it looks like the bullet just sliced it rather than penetrated." Maia turned her head toward Jase.

  Cole could see they were nearly nose to nose. For some reason it put a lump in his throat. Something deep inside him shifted. Moved. Melted. He saw his young half brother, so starved for love and attention, tur
ning to Maia. She seemed so willing to give the boy the things he needed. It came naturally to her. She imparted knowledge casually, and Jase soaked it up.

  "You lavage it, and I'll debride the area. We want it sterile, just like with Wally."

  "She's so big," Jase observed. "I've never seen a mountain lion other than in pictures before." There was awe in Jase's voice. Unable to help himself, just as curious as Jase, Cole crowded closer to see what they were doing.

  "They're solitary animals, Jase," Maia explained. "The females are smaller than the males. This one probably weighs in around ninety-five pounds and most are somewhere between seventy-five to one hundred and twenty-five pounds, so she's average and healthy. A female will keep her cubs with her about year to a year and half. This one is still young, maybe two years old."

  "Can I touch her?" Jase was already reaching out, his expression lit up with excitement. Cole had never seen him as fascinated or intrigued with anything. The boy moved even closer, actually bending over Maia to peer at what she was doing. She didn't seem to mind in the least, showing him what she was doing next.

  "Sure, it's safe. She's out. Her eyes are open, but she's out." Maia squeezed ointment into the cat's eyes to prevent them from drying out. "She can't blink like this, so we have to do it for her."

  "I've heard them scream before," Jase said. "It was like something out of a scary movie."

  "Mountain lions purr, rather than roar like the other big cats do, and yes, they have a phenomenal scream," Maia said, guiding Jase's hand along the cat's back.

  Cole watched the way her hands moved through the mountain lion's fur. He tasted envy in his mouth. Need. How did he become a part of such a thing?

  Maia glanced at Cole over her shoulder. "You don't hunt them on this ranch, do you?"

  "It's legal here in Wyoming," he said. His voice was strangling around the lump in his throat. "But since I've been here we certainly don't hunt them, and we wouldn't unless they went after our horses or cattle. Most stay in the high country." Forcing his mind to concentrate on details, he studied the cat, trying to determine, from the lacerated muscle, the angle the shooter had shot from. "How old is that wound?"