Witty Pieces by Witty People

ahandkerchief since the advent of the new fangled veil. It covers thegreater part of the face, and is as ornamental possibly as protective.

  Two women veiled alike met yesterday. It was evident that they hadn'tseen each other for some time, and they rushed together in a longembrace. The inevitable kiss came next. Both essayed the attempt, butthe veils rendered this impossible. Quick as a flash one of the ladiesturned the side of her face to her companion and the latter smacked aspot on her cheek somewhere below the ear. This was satisfactory andthen followed the usual storm of quick womanly ejaculations.

  "Is kissing on the lips no longer fashionable?" queried a reporter of alady he met after this event.

  "No, not since the introduction of the new veil," she answered sweetly."You see the lips are completely covered, and it has become the fashionto press the lips against the cheek. This thing of kissing is a nuisanceanyhow, and I wish the ladies would all stop it."

  --_Pittsburgh Dispatch._

  Conclusive.

  Careful Papa--But which loves Clara most--Brown, Jones or Smith?

  Observant Mamma--Why, Mr. Smith, to be sure.

  Papa--How can you make that out? Last night Brown asked and plead withher to sing; when she finished, Jones was enthusiastic in praise; butSmith didn't say a word!

  Mamma--No, but to-night he asked her to sing again----

  Papa--Poor Smith, he must, indeed, love her!

  --_Light._

  THE HONEYMOON.

  START.]

  HE--O, my darling, you are so much better than I am, and I am sounworthy of you!

  SHE--Love, I don't see what you can find about me to love!

  FINISH.]

  SHE--I don't see why I ever married such a brute. I am going straighthome to mother.

  HE--Brute, eh? I want you to understand, young woman, that I onlymarried you out of pity.

  --_Lawrence American._