The Damn Fool

her short stories.

  Shortly after noon, Toni brought Lance two grilled cheese sandwiches and a

  Pepsi-Cola. He didn't acknowledge her thoughtfulness, but munched on them as he

  continued working.

  Tired of data entry, Tracy opened Netscape, intending to surf the net, but her

  curiosity urged her to experiment with the features of the Internet browser.

  Eventually, she moved the mouse to the icon labeled "Lookup." She selected

  "People" and the screen filled with a search engine which claimed to locate

  named individuals around the world. Carefully she typed into the appropriate

  box, "Dwight Peoples." She held her breath as she moved the arrow to "Find" and

  clicked the mouse.

  Within seconds the screen filled with twenty-one matches. Toni laboriously

  recorded the email address for each, not realizing the program could do that for

  her.

  She glanced at Lance. He was deeply engrossed in his own world. With trembling

  fingers, she sent the same message to all twenty-one. "I am looking for the

  Dwight Peoples who grew up in Danbury, North Carolina and moved away when he was

  fifteen years old. It is very important that I find him."

  Late in the afternoon, she received a telephone call from Buddy. She agreed to

  spend the day with him swimming and sunbathing at Hanging Rock. She invited

  Lance to go with them, but he declined, saying he was not about to horn in on

  her dates.

  As soon as she got home late Sunday afternoon, she hurried to the study. She did

  not bother to change out of her skimpy two piece bathing suit. As expected,

  Lance was working on his computer program. Eagerly she booted her computer and

  checked email messages. There were twenty-one. In one form or another, they all

  said the same thing. "Sorry. It's not me."

  Tears puddled in her eyes as she again clicked the "Lookup" icon. This time she

  simply searched for "Peoples," leaving blank the boxes designed to narrow the

  search.

  The program announced over three thousand matches. She sighed and hunched over

  the keyboard. The program listed names in alphabetical order by first name. She

  scrolled down the list until she reached the "D's." Carefully she studied name

  after name. Minutes ticked off the clock. She became discouraged.

  She clicked the option that carried her to the next twenty names and stared in

  disbelief. "D. Gordon Peoples, Attorney at Law." His middle name was Gordon. She

  was sure of it.

  "Yes!" she cried.

  "Huh?" Lance said as he looked at her through bleary eyes.

  "I didn't mean to disturb you," she said, unable to erase the smile from her

  lips. "I just discovered how to do something that has been eluding me."

  Without comment, his eyes returned to the keyboard.

  Toni copied the email address into her electronic address book and composed a

  message. "If you are the Dwight Gordon Peoples who grew up in Danbury, North

  Carolina and left town at age fifteen, I desperately need to discuss something

  that happened to both of us. Please reply ASAP."

  She leaned back in the chair and watched icons dance, indicating the message was

  on its way to Orlando, Florida.

  Until bedtime, Toni checked for email messages every thirty minutes. There were

  none.

  The next two weeks found Lance constantly at his computer. He ate meals at his

  desk and slept little. Toni had too much to do to sit in front of her computer

  all day, constantly hoping for an answer from Dwight, though she did check

  frequently. She prepared their meals, spent a day each week cleaning the house

  and doing laundry, went shopping twice in Winston-Salem, managed the fishing

  contest, paying cash awards at the end of each day, and helped Buddy with the

  planting of Christmas trees.

  Lance seemed to be deteriorating right before her eyes. He seldom shaved and

  probably would not have bathed and changed his underwear if she did not

  constantly nag him about it. She gave up on hearing from D. Gordon Peoples.

  Lance looked up from his computer and shook his head. "It's hopeless, Toni.

  Nothing works."

  She scooped a stack of pages from the printer and thumbed through them. "It's

  not hopeless. You need a break to clear your mind."

  He just shook his head again and stared at the computer screen. "What did you

  just print out?"

  She giggled. "Something that is more hopeless than your project. I decided to

  send five of my short stories to theFine Fiction Fans magazine. They pay ten

  cents a word. It's not much, but if they'll just buy one of them it'll give me a

  writing credit that may open the door to other publishers."

  "Your stories are good, Toni. I'm serious about that. I'll bet they buy all

  five."

  "Fat chance." She signed her cover letter to the editor, stuffed everything into

  a manila envelope and addressed it by hand.

  She looked at Lance, slumped before the flickering screen. "I'm sure I can't

  help, but sometimes a light dawns when we try to describe a problem to someone.

  Try me."

  He smiled at her condescendingly. "My life is going down the tubes. That's the

  problem."

  "Get real."

  "I'm serious. I thought I had it made in the shade with a spade, as we used to

  say when I was a kid. Now I'm staring at bankruptcy."

  "You're exaggerating."

  He looked back at the screen. "Most people today have home computers ? even

  students. Colleges are constantly looking at ways to improve efficiency. A big

  problem is class registration. Colleges want to eliminate the long lines kids

  have to stand in. They want the kids to be able to register online."

  "That doesn't sound so difficult, but what do I know?"

  "It's not difficult. Security is the problem. For years my program has been

  capable of accepting computer registration if the computer is connected directly

  to the institution's mainframe."

  "So?"

  "If I allow modem access to the mainframe, a hacker can break into it and have

  access to the institution's most sensitive records. A smart kid could even get

  in and give himself all A's."

  "You're searching for a security system that will allow modem access and at the

  same time keep hackers out?"

  He nodded. "Every time I think I have it licked, I put it through real-time

  scenarios and find serious weaknesses. I'm just not capable of writing a

  foolproof security program."

  "If you can't do it, neither can anyone else."

  "I wish that were true. When Sean was up here recently, he told me a new company

  is pitching a program that is just as good as mine. They charge twice as much as

  I do, but they claim to have a modem access security system that is foolproof."

  "Well, is it?"

  "I don't know. They have no systems currently installed for us to test and they

  refuse to sell Sean a copy of their program."

  "If they are charging twice as much as you do, I don't think you have anything

  to worry about."

  "I received an email from Sean this morning. Five of our clients have notified

  him they are switching and will not be renewing their contracts with us."

  "Ouch. How
many clients do you have?"

  "Over four hundred at last count."

  She laughed. "And you are worried about going bankrupt?"

  "You ever hear of the domino effect? When they start falling, they all go down."

  "Lance, in a worse case scenario, to use your word, you'd still have the farm

  and income from our Christmas tree production."

  "Buddy said it will be at least four years before that project starts paying

  off."

  "True. Surely you have saved some money."

  He nodded. "I suppose I can survive financially, but Toni," he said as he patted

  his monitor, "this is my baby. I don't want to loose it."

  She stood behind him and massaged his shoulders. "I know I'm an idiot when it

  comes to these things, but what if you put the registration program on a

  separate computer?"

  He patted her hand. "You're not an idiot. That would work, but the institution

  would have to buy and maintain a separate mainframe. Do you have any idea what

  those things cost?"

  "Prohibitive, huh?"

  He nodded. "If my competition has a program that will work on one mainframe, why

  buy a second?"

  "Lance, you need a break. I'm going to drop my manuscripts off at the post

  office and run to Winston for a couple of hours. Come with me."

  He glanced at his watch. "It's four thirty," he said.

  "I know. I have to hurry. The post office closes at five."

  "But then you're going to Winston?"

  "Wal-Mart has a big sale going on. We need furniture for the deck and I thought

  I'd buy a charcoal grill. I can't go during the day because of the fishing

  contest. I thought it'd be nice to have a cookout for Buddy and his crew on July

  fourth ? sort of a thank you party for the good job they did for you."

  "I might have known Buddy was somehow involved. Get him to go with you."

  "No. I'll go to the post office and come right back to fix you dinner."

  "Toni, I'm sorry. I'm tired. Go and have fun. Charge what you want on the

  household expense MasterCard we received in the mail the other day. The cookout

  sounds nice."

  "Come with me, Lance."

  "Can't." He turned back to the computer screen.

  His brain wouldn't function. Maybe she's right, he thought. A hot shower and

  clean clothes brightened his spirits a little. He went to the kitchen for a beer

  and observed there were only a few left. I wonder how Tracy and her boyfriend

  are getting along? he thought.

  He rolled down the windows of his Taurus and enjoyed the humid air blowing

  against him. He ran his hand through his shaggy hair. I should have gone with

  Toni to Winston, he told himself. I'm in bad need of a haircut.

  He saw a large cardboard sign taped to the door as he entered the Flint Grocery

  parking lot and he maneuvered the Taurus close enough to read it from the car.

  CLOSED

  REOPEN JULY 5TH

 

  GONE TO SC TO GET

  HITCHED.

 

  TRACY

 

  "Well okay," he said aloud. "Good for you, Tracy."

  He suddenly was very hungry and stopped at the Danbury Diner for a country steak

  and gravy dinner. He belched as he returned to his car. Should have left off

  that second Pepsi, he thought. He reached for the door handle just as Buddy

  Mabe's black pickup slid to a stop across the street at the pool hall.

  Lance watched as Buddy hurried to the passenger side door and helped a tall,

  plump woman get out. Buddy hugged the woman and kissed her for a long time. Wow,

  Lance thought. He has his hands squeezing that broad's bottom, and she certainly

  isn't Toni.

  Chapter Seven

 

  Toni's concern for Lance grew with every passing day. He was so depressed, and

  the depression rubbed off on her. She found herself consciously avoiding him

  whenever possible, but at the same time constantly wishing there was something

  she could do or say to cheer him up.

  He continued to stare blankly at his computer screen, but made few efforts at

  writing computer code. Ten more clients advised they did not intend to renew

  their contracts.

  Toni immersed herself in activity, and certainly there was plenty to do with the

  housekeeping, cooking and the fishing contest. Using Microsoft Excel, she set up

  Lance's books and was amazed at the money he made. He was nowhere near bankrupt,

  which made his growing depression even more difficult to understand.

  Without much thought or an outline, she began to write a novel. It both

  surprised and pleased her that the heroine resembled her and the hero was

  unquestionably Lance. She found herself eagerly anticipating her daily writing

  period.

  Her characters danced and pranced across her mind's eye and she recorded every

  movement, every word, every emotion and every setting in detail. They were

  impish little creatures of her imagination who rarely did what she expected. The

  suspense was as good as reading someone else's novel ? maybe better. The only

  problem was that her mind kept writing the story long after she, of necessity,

  turned her attention to other tasks.

  On the morning of July the third, she entered the study, dreading the pathetic

  sight of Lance, slumped in front of his computer, but eager to learn what her

  characters would do today. She rarely received email, but she always checked it

  before adding to the novel. Her pulse rate increased when she saw the envelope

  icon in the lower right-hand corner of her screen, indicating she had a new

  message. She held her breath as she clicked on the icon and the screen filled

  with text.

  Dear Toni,

  It's so good to hear from you after all these years. I've thought of you

  often and wondered what happened to you. I apologize for taking so long to

  answer your email. My wife and I just returned from a month's cruise. It's

  the first vacation we've taken since the first child was born. We now have

  four children ? two boys and two girls. We finally figured out what causes

  them, so there will be no more. We farmed the kids out to grandma and had a

  wonderful time.

  I don't know how you found my email address, but I am so happy you did. Tell

  me all about yourself. I had such a crush on you in high school!

  Guess what. I am no longer fat! Soon after we moved from Danbury, the fat

  just melted away. Mom always said my excess weight was baby fat. I suppose

  she was right.

  Toni, if it is the Window Falls incident you wish to discuss, I'm not sure I

  can. I have spent a lifetime trying to forget. I am so ashamed of what I did

  to you. I can only hope that one day you will realize I was an adolescent

  with raging hormones. I beg for your forgiveness. If this is what you want

  to discuss, I'll try. Perhaps it is time I faced it.

  Fondly,

  Dwight

 

  Toni read the message so many that times she memorized it. It simply made no

  sense. She clicked the reply button.

  Dear Dwight,

  Thank you so much for responding. T
here's not much to tell you about me and

  I'd rather skip that.

  I had a crush on you too. How sad it seems that we were too timid to

  communicate honestly with each other back then.

  Dwight, what could you possibly be ashamed of? I am the one who stood by and

  did not attempt to help you. I am the one who allowed them to force you to

  have oral sex with me. I am so terribly ashamed. I have nightmares about it

  frequently and, since that day, I have not been able to function normally as

  a woman. You see, my hormones were racing also. Dwight, the whole thing

  turned me on. I saw the men leave as soon as you knelt before me under the

  falls, but I didn't stop your humiliation until I reached a climax. Can you

  ever forgive me?

  Toni

 

  Toni clicked the button that sent the message on its way and leaned back in her

  chair as she glanced at Lance. Her heart melted. She did nothing to help Dwight

  so many years ago. Was she destined to sit idly by as Lance slowly drove himself

  insane?

  She stood behind him and massaged his neck as she kissed his cheek. "Tell me

  what I can do to help, Lance. There must be something."

  "It's hopeless, Toni. There is no absolutely safe way around the problem."

  "But your competition has found a safe way?"

  "That's what they claim."

  "Do you know that for a certainty?"

  "No."

  "Here goes another stupid suggestion. Either you or Sean write to all of your

  customers. Tell them of your security concerns. Tell them how hard you have

  tried to produce a failsafe security system. Urge them to make the competition

  prove the safety of their software. What do you have to lose?"

  Lance spun his chair around to face her and grasped her hands. "Why not? I have

  email addresses for all my clients. I can send out a mass mailing."

  A pinging sound emanated from Toni's computer. "What was that?" she asked.

  "You have email," Lance explained.

  She started for her desk, but he clung to her hands. "Toni, I can't write worth

  a hoot. You know that. If I compose a first draft, will you polish it for me?"

  She leaned over, kissed him and grimaced. "I will if you'll do three things for

  me."

  "Anything."

  "Go shave and brush your teeth and tonight let me cut your hair."

  "You can cut hair?"

  "I don't know, but even if I butcher you, you'll still look better."

  He beamed. "Deal," he said as she returned to her desk.

  Toni,

  I'll stay on-line as long as you like. Before I answer you, I need to ask a

  question. What part of the incident excited you? I'm confused.

  Dwight

  Dear Dwight,

  Thank you for asking. I have not thought about it before. It certainly was

  not the homosexual activity or pain inflicted on you. It was the sight of

  your nude body (blush). It's difficult to write this, but I imagined your

  naked body so many times while masturbating that the reality of it merged

  fact and fantasy. I wanted so much to be the one who was fondling you. I

  wanted to be the one making love to you.

  Toni

  Toni,

  Wow ? if I had only known. We both did the right thing in yielding to the

  rogues' demands. If we had resisted, we would have been hurt much worse, or

  even killed. I'm certain of it. I really don't remember much about what the

  men did to me. What I do remember was watching you as you stood under the

  falls. You were the first woman I had seen naked and you were far more

  beautiful in reality than in my fantasies. What you don't know is that I,

  too, saw the men leave after I knelt before you. I guess you also did not

  notice that while I made love to you orally, I masturbated ? twice. (Boy,

  that was hard to admit.)

  Now do you understand my shame? Will you forgive me, Toni?

  D.

  Dear D.,

  What's to forgive? I'm flattered ? and relieved. Now maybe my dreams will

  feature a young man who cares about me making love to me under the falls,

  and vice versa. I can never thank you enough for sharing this with me.

  T.

  Dear, dear, Toni,

  Thank you for sharing. Let's keep in touch.

  D.

  Toni saved all the messages and combined them into a single file for future