Pan Michael: An Historical Novel of Poland, the Ukraine, and Turkey

  CHAPTER XIX.

  Zagloba and Pani Makovetski divined by that exclamation the secret ofthe little knight's heart; and when he sprang up suddenly and left theroom, they looked at each other with amazement and disquiet, till atlast the lady said, "For God's sake go after him! persuade him; comforthim; if not, I will go myself."

  "Do not do that," said Zagloba. "There is no need of us there, butKrysia is needed; if he cannot see her, it is better to leave himalone, for untimely comforting leads people to still greater despair."

  "I see now, as on my palm, that he was inclined to Krysia. See, I knewthat he liked her greatly and sought her company; but that he was solost in her never came to my head."

  "It must be that he returned with a proposition ready, in which he sawhis own happiness; meanwhile a thunderbolt, as it were, fell."

  "Why did he speak of this to no one, neither to me, nor to you, nor toKrysia herself? Maybe the girl would not have made her vow."

  "It is a wonderful thing," said Zagloba; "besides, he confides in me,and trusts my head more than his own; and not merely has he notacknowledged this affection to me, but even said once that it wasfriendship, nothing more."

  "He was always secretive."

  "Then though you are his sister, you don't know him. His heart is likethe eyes of a sole, on top. I have never met a more outspoken man; butI admit that he has acted differently this time. Are you sure that hesaid nothing to Krysia?"

  "God of power! Krysia is mistress of her own will, for my husband asguardian has said to her, 'If the man is worthy and of honorable blood,you may overlook his property.' If Michael had spoken to her before hisdeparture, she would have answered yes or no, and he would have knownwhat to look for."

  "True, because this has struck him unexpectedly. Now give your woman'swit to this business."

  "What is wit here? Help is needed."

  "Let him take Basia."

  "But if, as is evident, he prefers that one--Ha! if this had only comeinto my head."

  "It is a pity that it did not."

  "How could it when it did not enter the head of such a Solomon as you?"

  "And how do you know that?"

  "You advised Ketling."

  "I? God is my witness, I advised no man. I said that he was inclined toher, and it was true; I said that he was a worthy cavalier, for thatwas and is true; but I leave match-making to women. My lady, as thingsare, half the Commonwealth is resting on my head. Have I even time tothink of anything but public affairs? Often I have not a minute to puta spoonful of food in my mouth."

  "Advise us this time, for God's mercy! All around I hear only this,that there is no head beyond yours."

  "People are talking of this head of mine without ceasing; they mightrest awhile. As to counsels, there are two: either let Michael takeBasia, or let Krysia change her intention; an intention is not a vow."

  Now Pan Makovetski came in; his wife told him everything straightway.The noble was greatly grieved, for he loved Pan Michael uncommonly andvalued him; but for the time he could think out nothing.

  "If Krysia will be obstinate," said he, rubbing his forehead, "how canyou use even arguments in such an affair?"

  "Krysia will be obstinate!" said Pani Makovetski. "Krysia has alwaysbeen that way."

  "What was in Michael's head that he did not make sure beforedeparting?" asked Pan Makovetski. "As he left matters, something worsemight have happened; another might have won the girl's heart in hisabsence."

  "In that case, she would not have chosen the cloister at once," saidPani Makovetski. "However, she is free."

  "True!" answered Makovetski.

  But already it was dawning in Zagloba's head. If the secret of Krysiaand Pan Michael had been known to him, all would have been clear to himat once; but without that knowledge it was really hard to understandanything. Still, the quick wit of the man began to break through themist, and to divine the real reason and intention of Krysia and thedespair of Pan Michael. After a while he felt sure that Ketling wasinvolved in what had happened. His supposition lacked only certainty;he determined, therefore, to go to Michael and examine him moreclosely. On the road alarm seized him, for he thought thus tohimself,--

  "There is much of my work in this. I wanted to quaff mead at thewedding of Basia and Michael; but I am not sure that instead of mead, Ihave not provided sour beer, for now Michael will return to his formerdecision, and imitating Krysia, will put on the habit."

  Here a chill came on Zagloba; so he hastened his steps, and in a momentwas in Pan Michael's room. The little knight was pacing up and downlike a wild beast in a cage. His forehead was terribly wrinkled, hiseyes glassy; he was suffering dreadfully. Seeing Zagloba, he stopped ona sudden before him, and placing his hands on his breast, cried,--

  "Tell me the meaning of all this!"

  "Michael!" said Zagloba, "consider how many girls enter convents eachyear; it is a common thing. Some go in spite of their parents, trustingthat the Lord Jesus will be on their side; but what wonder in thiscase, when the girl is free?"

  "There is no longer any secret!" cried Pan Michael. "She is not free,for she promised me her love and hand before I left here."

  "Ha!" said Zagloba; "I did not know that."

  "It is true," repeated the little knight.

  "Maybe she will listen to persuasion."

  "She cares for me no longer; she would not see me," cried Pan Michael,with deep sorrow. "I hastened hither day and night, and she does noteven want to see me. What have I done? What sins are weighing on methat the anger of God pursues me; that the wind drives me like awithered leaf? One is dead; another is going to the cloister. GodHimself took both from me; it is clear that I am accursed. There ismercy for every man, there is love for every man, except me alone."

  Zagloba trembled in his soul, lest the little knight, carried away bysorrow, might begin to blaspheme again, as once he blasphemed after thedeath of Anusia; therefore, to turn his mind in another direction, hecalled out, "Michael, do not doubt that there is mercy upon you also;and besides, you cannot know what is waiting for you to-morrow. Perhapsthat same Krysia, remembering your loneliness, will change herintention and keep her word to you. Secondly, listen to me, Michael. Isnot this a consolation that God Himself, our Merciful Father, takesthose doves from you, and not a man walking upon the earth? Tell meyourself if this is not better?"

  In answer the little knight's mustaches began to tremble terribly; thenoise of gritting came from his teeth, and he cried with a suppressedand broken voice, "If it were a living man! Ha! Should such a man befound, I would-- Vengeance would remain."

  "But as it is, prayer remains," said Zagloba. "Hear me, old friend; noman will give you better counsel. Maybe God Himself will changeeverything yet for the better. I myself--you know--wished another foryou; but seeing your pain, I suffer together with you, and togetherwith you will pray to God to comfort you, and incline the heart of thatharsh lady to you again."

  When he had said this, Zagloba began to wipe away tears; they weretears of sincere friendship and sorrow. Had it been in the power of theold man, he would have undone at that moment everything that he haddone to set Krysia aside, and would have been the first to cast herinto Pan Michael's arms.

  "Listen," said he, after a while; "speak once more with Krysia; takeyour lament to her, your unendurable pain, and may God bless you! Theheart in her must be of stone if she does not take pity on you; but Ihope that she will. The habit is a praiseworthy thing, but not whenmade of injustice to others. Tell her that. You will see-- Ei, Michael,to-day you are weeping, and to-morrow perhaps we shall be drinking atthe betrothal. I am sure that will be the outcome. The young lady grewlonely, and therefore the habit came to her head. She will go to acloister, but to one in which you will be ringing for the christening.Perhaps too she is affected a little with hypochondria, and mentionedthe habit only to throw dust in our eyes. In every case, you have notheard of the cloister from her own lips, and if God grants, you willnot. Ha,
I have it! You agreed on a secret; she did not wish to betrayit, and is throwing a blind in our eyes. As true as life, nothing elsebut woman's cunning."

  Zagloba's words acted like balsam on the suffering heart of PanMichael: hope entered him again; his eyes were filled with tears. For along time he could not speak; but when he had restrained his tears hethrew himself into the arms of his friend and said, "But will it be asyou say?"

  "I would bend the heavens for you. It will be as I say! Do you rememberthat I have ever been a false prophet? Do you not trust in myexperience and wit?"

  "You cannot even imagine how I love that lady. Not that I haveforgotten the beloved dead one; I pray for her every day. But to thisone my heart has grown fixed like fungus to a tree; she is my love.What have I thought of her away off there in the grasses, morning andevening and midday! At last I began to talk to myself, since I had noconfidant. As God is dear to me, when I had to chase after the horde inthe reeds, I was thinking of her when rushing at full speed."

  "I believe it. From weeping for a certain maiden in my youth one of myeyes flowed out, and what of it did not flow out was covered with acataract."

  "Do not wonder; I came here, the breath barely in my body; the firstword I hear,--the cloister. But still I have trust in persuasion and inher heart and her word. How did you state it? 'A habit is good'--butmade of what?"

  "But not when made of injustice to others."

  "Splendidly said! How is it that I have never been able to make maxims?In the stanitsa it would have been a ready amusement. Alarm sits in mecontinually, but you have given me consolation. I agreed with her, itis true, that the affair should remain a secret; therefore it is likelythat the maiden might speak of the habit only for appearance' sake. Youbrought forward another splendid argument, but I cannot remember it.You have given me great consolation."

  "Then come to me, or give command to bring the decanter to this place.It is good after the journey."

  They went, and sat drinking till late at night.

  Next day Pan Michael arrayed his body in fine garments and his face inseriousness, armed himself with all the arguments which came to his ownhead, and with those which Zagloba had given him; thus equipped, hewent to the dining-room, where all met usually at meal-time. Of thewhole company only Krysia was absent, but she did not let people waitfor her long; barely had the little knight swallowed two spoonfuls ofsoup when through the open door the rustle of a robe was heard, and themaiden came in.

  She entered very quickly, rather rushed in. Her cheeks were burning;her lids were dropped; in her face were mingled fear and constraint.Approaching Pan Michael, she gave him both hands, but did not raise hereyes at all, and when he began to kiss those hands with eagerness, shegrew very pale; besides, she did not find one word for greeting. Buthis heart filled with love, alarm, and rapture at sight of her face,delicate and changeful as a wonder-working image, at sight of that formshapely and beautiful, from which the warmth of recent sleep was stillbeating; he was moved even by that confusion and that fear depicted inher face.

  "Dearest flower!" thought he, in his soul, "why do you fear? I wouldgive even my life and blood for you." But he did not say this aloud, heonly pressed his pointed mustaches so long to her hands that red traceswere left on them. Basia, looking at all this, gathered over herforehead her yellow forelock of purpose, so that no one might noticeher emotion; but no one gave attention to her at that time; all werelooking at the pair, and a vexatious silence followed.

  Pan Michael interrupted it first. "The night passed for me in grief anddisquiet," said he; "for yesterday I saw all except you, and suchterrible tidings were told of you that I was nearer to weeping than tosleep."

  Krysia, hearing such outspoken words, grew still paler, so that for awhile Pan Michael thought that she would faint, and said hurriedly, "Wemust talk of this matter; but now I will ask no more, so that you maygrow calm and recover. I am no barbarian, nor am I a wolf, and God seesthat I have good-will toward you."

  "Thank you!" whispered Krysia.

  Zagloba, Pan Makovetski, and his wife began to exchange glances, as ifurging one another to begin the usual conversation; but for a long timeno one was able to venture a word; at last Zagloba began. "We must goto the city to-day," said he, turning to the newly arrived. "It isboiling there before the election, as in a pot, for every man is urginghis own candidate. On the road, I will tell you to whom, in my opinion,we should give our votes."

  No one answered, therefore Zagloba cast around an owlish eye; at lasthe turned to Basia, "Well, Maybug, will you go with us?"

  "I will go even to Russia!" answered Basia, abruptly.

  And silence followed again. The whole meal passed in similar attemptsto begin a conversation that would not begin. At last the company rose.Then Pan Michael approached Krysia at once and said,--

  "I must speak with you alone."

  He gave her his arm and conducted her to the adjoining room, to thatsame apartment which was the witness of their first kiss. SeatingKrysia on the sofa, he took his place near her, and began to stroke herhair as he would have stroked the hair of a child.

  "Krysia!" said he, at last, with a mild voice. "Has your confusionpassed? Can you answer me calmly and with presence of mind?"

  Her confusion had passed, and besides, she was moved by his kindness;therefore she raised for a moment her eyes on him for the first timesince his return. "I can," said she, in a low voice.

  "Is it true that you have devoted yourself to the cloister?"

  Krysia put her hands together and began to whisper imploringly, "Do nottake this ill of me, do not curse me; but it is true."

  "Krysia!" said the knight, "is it right to trample on the happiness ofpeople, as you are trampling? Where is your word, where is ouragreement? I cannot war with God, but I will tell you, to begin with,what Pan Zagloba told me yesterday,--that the habit should not be madeof injustice to others. You will not increase the glory of God byinjustice to me. God reigns over the whole world; His are all nations,His the lands and the sea and the rivers, the birds of the air and thebeasts of the forests, the sun and the stars. He has all, whatsoevermay come to the mind of man, and still more; but I have only you,beloved and dear; you are my happiness, my every possession. And canyou suppose that the Lord God needs that possession? He, with suchwealth, to tear away his only treasure from a poor soldier? Can yousuppose that He will be rejoiced, and not offended? See what you aregiving Him,--yourself. But you are mine, for you promised yourself tome; therefore you are giving Him that which belongs to another, thatwhich is not your own: you are giving Him my weeping, my pain, mydeath. Have you a right to do so? Weigh this in your heart and in yourmind; finally ask your own conscience. If I had offended you, if I hadcontemned you in love, if I had forgotten you, if I had committedcrimes or offences--ah, I will not speak; I will not speak. But I wentto the horde, to watch, to attack ravagers, to serve the country withmy blood, with my health, with my time; and I loved you, I thought ofyou whole days and nights, and as a deer longs for waters, as a birdfor the air, as a child for its mother, as a parent for its child, wasI longing for you. And for all this what is the greeting, what thereward, that you have prepared for me? Krysia dearest, my friend, mychosen love, tell me whence is all this? Give me your reasons assincerely, as openly, as I bring before you my reasons and my rights;keep faith with me; do not leave me alone with misfortune. You gave methis right yourself; do not make me an outlaw."

  The unfortunate Pan Michael did not know that there is a right higherand older than all other human rights, in virtue of which the heartmust and does follow love only; but the heart which ceases to lovecommits thereby the deepest perfidy, though often with as muchinnocence as the lamp quenches in which fire has burned out the oil.Not knowing this. Pan Michael embraced Krysia's knees, implored, andbegged; but she answered him with floods of tears only because shecould not answer with her heart.

  "Krysia," said the knight, at last, while rising, "in your tears myhappiness may drown; and I do not impl
ore you for that, but forrescue."

  "Do not ask me for a reason," answered Krysia, sobbing; "do not ask fora cause, since it must be this way, and cannot be otherwise. I am notworthy of such a man as you, and I have never been worthy. I know thatI am doing you an injustice, and that pains me so terribly that, see! Icannot help myself. I know that this is an injustice. O God ofgreatness, my heart is breaking! Forgive me; do not leave me in anger!Pardon me; do not curse me!" When she had said this, Krysia threwherself on her knees before Pan Michael. "I know that I am doing you awrong, but I implore of you condescension and pardon."

  Here the dark head of Krysia bent to the floor. Pan Michael raised inone moment the poor weeping maiden, and placed her again on the sofa;but he began himself to pace up and down in the room, like one dazed.At times he stopped suddenly and pressed his fists to his temples; thenagain he walked; at last he stood before Krysia.

  "Leave yourself time, and me some hope," said he. "Think that I too amnot of stone. Why press red-hot iron against me without the least pity?Even though I knew not my own endurance, still when the skin hisses,pain pierces me. I cannot tell you how I suffer,--as God lives, Icannot. I am a simple man; my years have passed in war. Oh, for God'ssake! O dear Jesus! In this same room our love began. Krysia, Krysia! Ithought that you would be mine for life; and now there is nothing,nothing! What has taken place in you? Who has changed your heart?Krysia, I am just the same. And do you not know that for me this is aworse blow than for another, for I have already lost one love? O Jesus,what shall I tell her to move her heart? A man only torments himself,that is all. But leave me even hope! Do not take everything away at onetime."

  Krysia made no answer; but sobbing shook her more and more; the littleknight stood before her, restraining at first his sorrow, and terribleanger. And only when he had broken that in himself, he said,--

  "Leave me even hope! Do you hear me?"

  "I cannot! I cannot!" answered Krysia.

  Pan Michael went to the window and pressed his head against the coldglass. He stood a long time without motion; at last he turned, andadvancing a couple of steps toward Krysia, he said in a very lowvoice,--

  "Farewell! There is nothing for me here. Oh that it may be as pleasantfor you as it is grievous for me! Know this, that I forgive you with mylips, and as God will grant, I will forgive you with my heart as well.But have more mercy on people's suffering, and a second time promisenot. It cannot be said that I take happiness with me from thesethresholds! Farewell!"

  When Pan Michael had said this, his mustaches quivered; he bowed, andwent out. In the next room were Makovetski and his wife and Zagloba;they sprang up at once as if to inquire, but he only waved his hand."All to no use!" said he. "Leave me in peace!"

  From that room a narrow corridor led to his own chamber; in thatcorridor, at the staircase leading to the young ladies' rooms, Basiastopped the way to the little knight. "May God console you and changeKrysia's heart!" cried she, with a voice trembling from tears.

  He went past without even looking at her, or saying a word. Suddenlywild anger bore him away; bitterness rose in his breast; he turned,therefore, and stood before the innocent Basia with a face changed andfull of derision. "Promise your hand to Ketling," said he, hoarsely,"then cease to love him, trample on his heart, rend it, and go to thecloister!"

  "Pan Michael!" cried Basia, in amazement.

  "Enjoy yourself, taste kisses, and then go to repent! Would to God thatyou both were killed!"

  That was too much for Basia. God alone knew how much she had wrestledwith herself for this wish which she had given Pan Michael,--that Godmight change Krysia's heart,--and in return an unjust condemnation hadmet her, derision, insult, just at the moment in which she would havegiven her blood to comfort the thankless man. Therefore her soulstormed up in her as quickly as a flame; her cheeks burned; hernostrils dilated; and without an instant's thought, she cried, shakingher yellow hair,--

  "Know, sir, that _I_ am not the one who is going to the cloister forKetling!"

  When she had said this, she sprang on the stairs and vanished frombefore the eyes of the knight. He stood there like a stone pillar;after a while he began to rub his eyes like a man who is waking fromsleep.

  Then he was thirsting for blood; he seized his sabre, and cried with aterrible voice, "Woe to the traitor!"

  A quarter of an hour later Pan Michael was rushing toward Warsaw soswiftly that the wind was howling in his ears, and lumps of earth wereflying in a shower from the hoofs of his horse.