Shadow

  “I’m sure he will be fine. Our males are pretty tough and recover quickly after they fight.” Creek smiled. “They do it often here.”

  “I’ve never seen you at Homeland.”

  “I live here full time. I’d already transferred here when you were rescued.”

  “Why? I thought they rotated all the women every few months.”

  Creek’s smile faded. “I like it at Reservation better and I have excelled at my secretarial skills. The council members assigned here need someone to help them. I volunteered.”

  “Is there a women’s dorm at Reservation?”

  “I live at the hotel. It’s nice.”

  “Oh.” Beauty stepped forward and Creek retreated then followed her into Shadow’s bedroom. “I guess I should clean up the mess before he comes home. I don’t want him to feel he needs to do it but he will.”

  “I’ll help.”

  “I can do it myself.”

  Creek raised her hands. “I didn’t mean to offend you, Beauty. I’m here. What else will I do?”

  “You could go home.”

  “Breeze would have my ass. No thanks. That’s one female I never want to disappoint. She gave an order and I’m following it.” Creek smiled, her features showing amusement. “You know how she gets.”

  “She is very protective.”

  “To you maybe.” Creek glanced around, studying the layout of the room. “She’s kind of a bear to the rest of us. We are the ‘soft padding that keeps our males from tearing each other apart’. That’s a quote from her. She expects a lot from us.”

  “I’ve never heard her say that. What does that mean?” Beauty paused by the bed, her sad gaze fixed on the broken window frame. “I don’t know what to do about that.”

  Creek crossed the room and just closed the window. “It shuts. That’s all that matters. Someone else can fix it later. We have people who do that.” She closed the curtains, effectively hiding the damage and turned back. “You never got the lecture from Breeze about our duties to our males?”

  “No. I wasn’t allowed around them.” She decided to make the bed.

  “Ah.” The Species walked to the other side to help. “Our males are gruff and not the friendliest if you haven’t noticed. They intimidate others easily. Their soft sides are hard to find but it’s our duty to remind them why they need to become social. Otherwise they’d probably have pissing contests with their fists. There would be so much fighting that not much else would happen.”

  Beauty paused, staring at Creek. “Why? We’re all considered family, aren’t we?”

  “It’s their nature. Mercile didn’t create them to be feeble. We had a lifetime to grow resentful of authority figures. It’s our jobs as females to give them a reason to unite. They work together to give us a home.” She smiled, tucking in her side of the comforter. “We allow them to do it. We need to be reminders that there’s more to living than seeking revenge on the ones who’ve harmed us.”

  “What is your job specifically?” Beauty glanced around the room, not seeing anything else to do. She held Creek’s gaze.

  “Breeze just expects us to always be supportive of our males.”

  “Is that why you sleep with so many of them instead of settling down with one? There aren’t a lot of us who survived.”

  A grin curved Creek’s mouth. “No.” She sat on the end of the bed. “Do you know anything about the breeding experiments they did at Mercile?”

  “I’ve heard a little about it.”

  “We were taken to males to share sex. Sometimes it would be the same one for a few weeks but mostly they’d take us to different ones. They wanted us to become pregnant and probably thought exposing us to several males would help make it successful. Your heart hardens after a few years of it.”

  “I don’t understand.” Beauty perched on the dresser.

  Creek’s humor fled as she hugged her waist. “We learned not to become attached to anyone. It was a painful mistake to become emotionally involved. They would use us to punish the males or use the males to attempt to force us to do their bidding without protest if they suspected we cared too much about each other. Arguing against whatever they wanted was never a good thing.”

  “What kind of things did they want you to do?”

  Fangs dented her bottom lip. “Bad things. I was taken to a male once who’d been tortured. He was in bad shape and I tended to him instead of sharing sex.” Anger deepened Creek’s voice. “As if he were in any condition to do that. He’d been severely beaten. I think they wanted to humiliate him.”

  “By having you share sex?”

  “He was so injured he couldn’t get up from his mat. They expected me to initiate the sex. You said you don’t know much about our males but they are proud. It would have shamed him to be expected to perform but not be able to.” Her voice lowered. “I doubt he could have gotten it up.” She glanced at her lap, then back at Beauty. “Do you understand?”

  “Yes.”

  “I knew they’d refuse to feed me for a few days as punishment for not stripping and trying to share sex with him but I worried he’d die. The technician mistook my compassion for an attachment for the male when he returned me to my cell. That bastard threatened the male’s life if I didn’t allow him to mount me.” Her jaw clenched and her dark eyes narrowed. “I broke his nose and kicked him in the nuts when he got too close. I hope it hurt like hell. I was never going to submit to being raped without putting up a fight. The other technicians pulled him out of the cell before I could do more damage or I might have killed him.” She shrugged. “He never tried that again.”

  Beauty blinked back tears. “I’m glad you were able to defend yourself.”

  “Me too. Not all our females were so lucky.” Compassion filled Creek’s gaze. “Needless to say though, we grew to protect our hearts by not getting too attached to one male. We’re enjoying our freedom. We have so many choices now and no one tells us who we have to share sex with anymore.” Creek hesitated. “Plus, I think some of us feel it would be unfair to just pick one male when there aren’t enough females to go around.”

  “Do you feel that way?” Beauty studied her closely, spotting the hint of sorrow in her features.

  Creek shrugged. “I don’t know. Sometimes, I guess. Don’t ever repeat that to Breeze. She’d be horrified. That wasn’t her intention when we moved into the women’s dorm at Homeland. She got us all together to discuss how to help our males with our new lives. It was never implied we should share sex with them but it’s our duty to make sure we care for them as much as they do us. They are protective and shield us as much as possible from the harshness we still endure from the outside world. It seems a small price to meet their needs.” She laughed. “And it’s certainly pleasurable. They take really good care of us in all aspects.”

  “Is there someone you like more than anyone else?”

  “No.” Creek stood. “I make sure I never spend too much time around any of the males I’ve become intimate with. There aren’t as many as you’d think. A lot of them here are interested in the humans. We have a lot of interaction with the local town.”

  “Is that scary?”

  “Humans?” Creek grinned. “No.” The smile disappeared and she continued, “I’m sorry for what happened to you. Was it bad? I don’t know your history.”

  “I guess it could have been a lot worse. There was only one man who abused me. He was old and he didn’t beat me but he wanted to have sex sometimes. It was a cold and uncomfortable experience but I wasn’t brutalized. The guards he hired were always trying to bribe or frighten me into doing things with them though. I never did.”

  “I’m sorry you had to survive that but you don’t need to fear all humans. We have some working here and I’ve made good friends with two of them. You should meet Zandy and Richard while you’re visiting Reservation. I have lunch with them often but not together right now.”

  “You’re friends with human men? Do they fight over you? Is that why they
need to be kept apart?”

  “No.” The question seemed to amuse her. “Zandy is a female mated to Tiger and they have a son. She just had the baby but Richard can’t find out she was ever pregnant. We trust him but knowing classified information might put him in danger if anyone suspects. Zandy had to transfer to another job to avoid him and he was told she’s at Homeland. They talk by phone since they remained friends but I get to see them separately. The baby is adorable. Have you ever seen one?”

  Beauty nodded. “Yes. We have a few of them at Homeland. Ellie brings Salvation to work with her all the time. Fury is his father and the baby looks just like him.”

  “I want one so bad but it doesn’t seem it will ever be possible.”

  “A baby?”

  Creek nodded, glancing around. “Let’s go downstairs to clean up that mess.”

  The topic was over. The Species fled the room. Her stiff posture and the wistful tone of her voice revealed her pain. Beauty placed a hand over her flattened tummy, wondering how it would feel to be pregnant as she slid off the edge of the dresser. So far none of the women Species had been able to conceive.

  The idea of someone being totally dependent on Beauty was a scary thought. She could barely face each day on her own without wondering how she’d get through it. She loved Salvation and Forest, the two babies she spent the most time around, but was glad they weren’t her responsibility. Children needed parents who were knowledgeable of all things and who could teach them how to survive in the world.

  “Creek?”

  She paused at the top of the stairs, turning back. “Yes?”

  “Why do you want a baby?”

  Her features hardened. She was silent for long seconds but then relaxed. “I guess besides the obvious reasons of just wanting to know what it would be like to become a mother, I want someone to love. A child would be safe to open my heart to and share my life with.”

  Beauty mulled that answer and reached out, wrapping her fingers around the other woman’s wrist. “I understand.”

  “Trisha says not to give up hope and that maybe the experts they’ve hired can find a way around our genetic engineering so we can conceive.”

  “Would you want a mate if you were able to have a baby?”

  “You’re full of questions.” Creek hesitated. “It’s not an option right now so I don’t allow myself to think of it often.”

  “But you do.”

  She smiled. “I have considered it. I see how happy Zandy and Tiger are. She’s his entire world and he is hers. It would be nice to go home after work to find someone excited to see me. Of course I doubt I’d be as understanding as she is of his nature. Humans are more agreeable than Species females.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Our males are pushy. Zandy thinks it’s cute when Tiger gets very protective of her. I would be irritated. I’m strong enough to care for myself. I might even feel insulted. We’d butt heads often and aggressively.”

  “She’s not as strong as you are.” Beauty studied her from head to foot. “She probably needs his protection.”

  Creek laughed. “That’s true. Zandy is very brave but she isn’t exactly physically intimidating.”

  “I like it that Shadow is protective. A lot scares me but I feel safe with him.” It wasn’t too bad, admitting that. She felt comfortable with Creek. “I want to keep him in my life.”

  “You two shared sex. How was that? Were you scared?”

  “It was amazing.” Her heart raced just remembering it. “He was very sweet and it was so much more than I expected.”

  “Your expectations had to be low after what you’ve suffered.”

  That statement shattered Beauty’s happiness. “True.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.”

  Beauty’s hand dropped away. “No. It’s true. Anything had to be better than what I’ve known.”

  Creek gripped her hand. “I’m really sorry. This discussion has left me feeling a bit defensive and a little gloomy.”

  “I didn’t mean to pry or upset you.”

  “You didn’t. It’s natural to be curious. Talking about babies and mates depresses me. I’m glad that you enjoyed the sex with Shadow and that you wish to spend more time with him. He seems very concerned about your safety. He’s a good male. I can tell these things.”

  “All our men are good.”

  “No.” She hesitated. “I’ve met a few that I avoid. They are damaged inside by hatred and closed to emotions. They would never mistreat a female but they are coldly detached from feeling too much. Shadow is very warm and friendly. He’ll be good for you but you should know that the more time you spend with him, the more attached he might grow to you. They tend to want to keep something they believe is theirs. Every time you share sex will give him the impression that he can keep you in his bed.”

  “I’d like that.”

  Creek gently squeezed her. “I’m glad for you then. He’ll return when Medical clears him.”

  “It’s frightening to allow myself to feel.” Beauty clung to her hand. “You should take a chance and allow someone to get close to you, Creek. It is scary but I’ve come to realize I have nothing to lose. I wasn’t living. I was just existing. There’s a world of difference. I deserve to be happy and so do you. I was forced to spend my life mostly alone but I have more now. I was locked inside a basement with only the guards to bring me food when they decided to feed me. I was only allowed out when Master wanted me upstairs. I hated it when a day or two would go by without seeing anyone but being taken upstairs was worse.”

  Creek stared at her for long seconds before she released her hand. “I’ll give it some thought.” She smiled. “You’re pretty brave for a Gift, Beauty. Know that. I’m much stronger but the idea of putting my heart in a male’s hands scares the hell out of me. I’ve been hurt enough.”

  “I’m really not. I’m scared all the time but I’m more afraid of wasting the life I’ve been given by never taking chances. I have enough regrets.”

  * * * * *

  Shadow growled at Dr. Harris, the wrinkled, white-haired male who was much older than him. The human frowned.

  “Don’t take a chunk out of me. No biting, damn it. I’m done giving you stitches.”

  “I will not bite. It hurt. I make noises when I’m in pain.”

  “Sorry about that but I’m glad you’re not feeling ornery toward me.” The doctor snapped off the gloves and tossed them in the trash. “I already got bitten this week.” He shoved up his white coat to show a bandage on his arm. “Wild Zone residents aren’t the best patients. I had to get four stitches myself. I’m lucky he just tore me a bit.”

  “I don’t live there. I was visiting.”

  “Right.” The doctor walked over to the wall to flip on a light and study the scan he’d ordered. “No permanent damage, no fractures to your skull, and no bleeding or swelling on the brain. You guys have hard heads.” He flipped off the light and turned around. “Are you still experiencing problems with your vision? Dizziness? Nausea? Any ringing in your ears? Headache?”

  “The shot you gave me seems to have worked to stop those symptoms.”

  “I envy you.” The doctor took a seat on the stool. “My joints are killing me. Arthritis is a bitch.”

  Shadow arched his eyebrows, not sure what that meant.

  “Never mind. Your kind don’t suffer from it and probably never will. That’s the advantage to having your hybrid genetics. They strained out the bad ones.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re fine. You might feel more aggressive for the next twenty-four hours so watch your temper. No fighting. Stay away from the women too.”

  “I can’t do that. I need to return to Beauty. She’s waiting for me at the cabin.”

  “Oh.” Interest sparked in the male’s eyes. “You’re the one assigned to guard the Gift Female and see if she’s interested in sex? How is that going? Do you need any advice?”

  “It is fine.”
/>
  “You wouldn’t be here if that were true. Is she the one who pushed you out a window? I was told you were shoved from the second floor of a cabin.”

  “A male attacked me.”

  “Huh. I didn’t get many details. How did that happen? I thought you two were supposed to be alone out there. Was it a Wild Zone resident? They can be a bit unstable.”

  “It was Torrent.”

  “Really?” The doctor’s eyes widened. “He doesn’t live out there but he deals with the wilder Species often. I guess they are rubbing off on him. I thought he’d be a good example to teach them how to control their instincts but maybe I should have a talk with him about how he shouldn’t go around attacking other people.”

  Irritation flared. “He believed I was harming Beauty.”

  “Were you?”

  “No!” Shadow snarled again, insulted.

  “Take it easy, young man. I just asked a question. Are you sure you don’t want advice? I give it all the time when you guys try to hook up with women who aren’t Species. I’ve seen Gifts and they are pretty small. Are you worried about being too rough with her?”

  “We shared sex. It was fine.”

  The doctor grinned. “Fine, huh? Maybe you do need some pointers. Sex should be amazing.” He chuckled. “I was young once. I would have been doing something wrong if any woman said that after I got done with her. In my day—”

  A knock sounded on the door and it opened, interrupting the doctor. Shadow identified the male who poked his head inside and growled again. Torrent held his gaze before entering the room.

  “I wanted to apologize.” Torrent had changed clothes and his hair was wet from a shower.

  Dr. Harris stood. “No fighting in my exam room!” He got between them.

  Shadow rose to his feet, glaring at the other male over the shorter human’s head. “You had no right to enter the cabin.”

  “No one told me why you two were there. I just assumed a Gift wanted a little fresh air and to see the woods. I’m really sorry. I heard sounds when I went to knock and thought maybe one of the Wild Zone residents might have gotten inside. They are pretty nosy. I went inside to make sure they weren’t causing problems. Then I realized you were mounting the Gift. It is ingrained in me to protect her.”