The Way We Live Now

  CHAPTER LXXI.

  JOHN CRUMB FALLS INTO TROUBLE.

  It was on a Friday evening, an inauspicious Friday, that poor RubyRuggles had insisted on leaving the security of her Aunt Pipkin'shouse with her aristocratic and vicious lover, in spite of thepositive assurance made to her by Mrs. Pipkin that if she went forthin such company she should not be allowed to return. "Of courseyou must let her in," Mrs. Hurtle had said soon after the girl'sdeparture. Whereupon Mrs. Pipkin had cried. She knew her own softnesstoo well to suppose it to be possible that she could keep the girlout in the streets all night; but yet it was hard upon her, veryhard, that she should be so troubled. "We usen't to have our wayslike that when I was young," she said, sobbing. What was to be theend of it? Was she to be forced by circumstances to keep the girlalways there, let the girl's conduct be what it might? Neverthelessshe acknowledged that Ruby must be let in when she came back. Then,about nine o'clock, John Crumb came; and the latter part of theevening was more melancholy even than the first. It was impossible toconceal the truth from John Crumb. Mrs. Hurtle saw the poor man andtold the story in Mrs. Pipkin's presence.

  "She's headstrong, Mr. Crumb," said Mrs. Hurtle.

  "She is that, ma'am. And it was along wi' the baro-nite she went?"

  "It was so, Mr. Crumb."

  "Baro-nite! Well;--perhaps I shall catch him some of thesedays;--went to dinner wi' him, did she? Didn't she have no dinnerhere?"

  Then Mrs. Pipkin spoke up with a keen sense of offence. Ruby Ruggleshad had as wholesome a dinner as any young woman in London,--abullock's heart and potatoes,--just as much as ever she had pleasedto eat of it. Mrs. Pipkin could tell Mr. Crumb that there was "nostarvation nor yet no stint in her house." John Crumb immediatelyproduced a very thick and admirably useful blue cloth cloak, whichhe had brought up with him to London from Bungay, as a present tothe woman who had been good to his Ruby. He assured her that he didnot doubt that her victuals were good and plentiful, and went on tosay that he had made bold to bring her a trifle out of respect. Itwas some little time before Mrs. Pipkin would allow herself to beappeased;--but at last she permitted the garment to be placed on hershoulders. But it was done after a melancholy fashion. There was nosmiling consciousness of the bestowal of joy on the countenance ofthe donor as he gave it, no exuberance of thanks from the recipientas she received it. Mrs. Hurtle, standing by, declared it to beperfect;--but the occasion was one which admitted of no delight."It's very good of you, Mr. Crumb, to think of an old woman likeme,--particularly when you've such a deal of trouble with a young'un."

  "It's like the smut in the wheat, Mrs. Pipkin, or the d'sease in the'tatoes;--it has to be put up with, I suppose. Is she very partial,ma'am, to that young baro-nite?" This question was asked of Mrs.Hurtle.

  "Just a fancy for the time, Mr. Crumb," said the lady.

  "They never thinks as how their fancies may well-nigh half kill aman!" Then he was silent for awhile, sitting back in his chair, notmoving a limb, with his eyes fastened on Mrs. Pipkin's ceiling.Mrs. Hurtle had some work in her hand, and sat watching him. Theman was to her an extraordinary being,--so constant, so slow, sounexpressive, so unlike her own countrymen,--willing to endure somuch, and at the same time so warm in his affections! "Sir FelixCarbury!" he said. "I'll Sir Felix him some of these days. If it wasonly dinner, wouldn't she be back afore this, ma'am?"

  "I suppose they've gone to some place of amusement," said Mrs.Hurtle.

  "Like enough," said John Crumb in a low voice.

  "She's that mad after dancing as never was," said Mrs. Pipkin.

  "And where is it as 'em dances?" asked Crumb, getting up from hischair, and stretching himself. It was evident to both the ladies thathe was beginning to think that he would follow Ruby to the musichall. Neither of them answered him, however, and then he sat downagain. "Does 'em dance all night at them places, Mrs. Pipkin?"

  "They do pretty nearly all that they oughtn't to do," said Mrs.Pipkin. John Crumb raised one of his fists, brought it down heavilyon the palm of his other hand, and then again sat silent for awhile.

  "I never knowed as she was fond o' dancing," he said. "I'd a haddancing for her down at Bungay,--just as ready as anything. D'yethink, ma'am, it's the dancing she's after, or the baro-nite?" Thiswas another appeal to Mrs. Hurtle.

  "I suppose they go together," said the lady.

  Then there was another long pause, at the end of which poor JohnCrumb burst out with some violence. "Domn him! Domn him! What 'adI ever dun to him? Nothing! Did I ever interfere wi' him? Never! ButI wull. I wull. I wouldn't wonder but I'll swing for this at Bury!"

  "Oh, Mr. Crumb, don't talk like that," said Mrs. Pipkin.

  "Mr. Crumb is a little disturbed, but he'll get over it presently,"said Mrs. Hurtle.

  "She's a nasty slut to go and treat a young man as she's treatingyou," said Mrs. Pipkin.

  "No, ma'am;--she ain't nasty," said the lover. "But she'scrou'll--horrid crou'll. It's no more use my going down about mealand pollard, nor business, and she up here with that baro-nite,--no,no more nor nothin'! When I handles it I don't know whether itsmiddlings nor nothin' else. If I was to twist his neck, ma'am, wouldyou take it on yourself to say as I was wrong?"

  "I'd sooner hear that you had taken the girl away from him," saidMrs. Hurtle.

  "I could pretty well eat him,--that's what I could. Half past eleven;is it? She must come some time, mustn't she?" Mrs. Pipkin, who didnot want to burn candles all night long, declared that she could giveno assurance on that head. If Ruby did come, she should, on thatnight, be admitted. But Mrs. Pipkin thought that it would be betterto get up and let her in than to sit up for her. Poor Mr. Crumb didnot at once take the hint, and remained there for another half-hour,saying little, but waiting with the hope that Ruby might come. Butwhen the clock struck twelve he was told that he must go. Then heslowly collected his limbs and dragged them out of the house.

  "That young man is a good fellow," said Mrs. Hurtle as soon as thedoor was closed.

  "A deal too good for Ruby Ruggles," said Mrs. Pipkin. "And he canmaintain a wife. Mr. Carbury says as he's as well to do as anytradesman down in them parts."

  Mrs. Hurtle disliked the name of Mr. Carbury, and took this laststatement as no evidence in John Crumb's favour. "I don't know thatI think better of the man for having Mr. Carbury's friendship," shesaid.

  "Mr. Carbury ain't any way like his cousin, Mrs. Hurtle."

  "I don't think much of any of the Carburys, Mrs. Pipkin. It seemsto me that everybody here is either too humble or too overbearing.Nobody seems content to stand firm on his own footing and interferewith nobody else." This was all Greek to poor Mrs. Pipkin. "I supposewe may as well go to bed now. When that girl comes and knocks, ofcourse we must let her in. If I hear her, I'll go down and open thedoor for her."

  Mrs. Pipkin made very many apologies to her lodger for the conditionof her household. She would remain up herself to answer the door atthe first sound, so that Mrs. Hurtle should not be disturbed. Shewould do her best to prevent any further annoyance. She trusted Mrs.Hurtle would see that she was endeavouring to do her duty by thenaughty wicked girl. And then she came round to the point of herdiscourse. She hoped that Mrs. Hurtle would not be induced to quitthe rooms by these disagreeable occurrences. "I don't mind saying itnow, Mrs. Hurtle, but your being here is ever so much to me. I ain'tnothing to depend on,--only lodgers, and them as is any good is sohard to get!" The poor woman hardly understood Mrs. Hurtle, who, asa lodger, was certainly peculiar. She cared nothing for disturbances,and rather liked than otherwise the task of endeavouring to assistin the salvation of Ruby. Mrs. Hurtle begged that Mrs. Pipkin wouldgo to bed. She would not be in the least annoyed by the knocking.Another half-hour had thus been passed by the two ladies in theparlour after Crumb's departure. Then Mrs. Hurtle took her candle andhad ascended the stairs half way to her own sitting-room, when a louddouble knock was heard. She immediately joined Mrs. Pipkin in thepassage. The door was opened, and there stood Ruby Ruggles, JohnCrumb, and two p
olicemen! Ruby rushed in, and casting herself onto one of the stairs began to throw her hands about, and to howlpiteously. "Laws a mercy; what is it?" asked Mrs. Pipkin.

  "He's been and murdered him!" screamed Ruby. "He has! He's been andmurdered him!"

  "This young woman is living here;--is she?" asked one of thepolicemen.

  "She is living here," said Mrs. Hurtle. But now we must go back tothe adventures of John Crumb after he had left the house.

  He had taken a bedroom at a small inn close to the Eastern CountiesRailway Station which he was accustomed to frequent when businessbrought him up to London, and thither he proposed to himself toreturn. At one time there had come upon him an idea that he wouldendeavour to seek Ruby and his enemy among the dancing saloons ofthe metropolis; and he had asked a question with that view. But noanswer had been given which seemed to aid him in his project, and hispurpose had been abandoned as being too complex and requiring moreintelligence than he gave himself credit for possessing. So he hadturned down a street with which he was so far acquainted as to knowthat it would take him to the Islington Angel,--where various roadsmeet, and whence he would know his way eastwards. He had just passedthe Angel, and the end of Goswell Road, and was standing with hismouth open, looking about, trying to make certain of himself that hewould not go wrong, thinking that he would ask a policeman whom hesaw, and hesitating because he feared that the man would want to knowhis business. Then, of a sudden, he heard a woman scream, and knewthat it was Ruby's voice. The sound was very near him, but in theglimmer of the gaslight he could not quite see whence it came. Hestood still, putting his hand up to scratch his head under hishat,--trying to think what, in such an emergency, it would be wellthat he should do. Then he heard the voice distinctly, "I won't;--Iwon't," and after that a scream. Then there were further words. "It'sno good--I won't." At last he was able to make up his mind. He rushedafter the sound, and turning down a passage to the right which ledback into Goswell Road, saw Ruby struggling in a man's arms. She hadleft the dancing establishment with her lover; and when they had cometo the turn of the passage, there had arisen a question as to herfurther destiny for the night. Ruby, though she well remembered Mrs.Pipkin's threats, was minded to try her chance at her aunt's door.Sir Felix was of opinion that he could make a preferable arrangementfor her; and as Ruby was not at once amenable to his arguments he hadthought that a little gentle force might avail him. He had thereforedragged Ruby into the passage. The unfortunate one! That so ill achance should have come upon him in the midst of his diversion! Hehad swallowed several tumblers of brandy and water, and was thereforebrave with reference to that interference of the police, the fearof which might otherwise have induced him to relinquish his hold ofRuby's arm when she first raised her voice. But what amount of brandyand water would have enabled him to persevere, could he have dreamedthat John Crumb was near him? On a sudden he found a hand on hiscoat, and he was swung violently away, and brought with his backagainst the railings so forcibly as to have the breath almost knockedout of his body. But he could hear Ruby's exclamation, "If it isn'tJohn Crumb!" Then there came upon him a sense of coming destruction,as though the world for him were all over; and, collapsing throughouthis limbs, he slunk down upon the ground.

  "Get up, you wiper," said John Crumb. But the baronet thought itbetter to cling to the ground. "You sholl get up," said John, takinghim by the collar of his coat and lifting him. "Now, Ruby, he'sa-going to have it," said John. Whereupon Ruby screamed at the topof her voice, with a shriek very much louder than that which had atfirst attracted John Crumb's notice.

  "Get up, you wiper."]

  "Don't hit a man when he's down," said the baronet, pleading asthough for his life.

  "I wunt," said John;--"but I'll hit a fellow when 'un's up."Sir Felix was little more than a child in the man's arms. JohnCrumb raised him, and catching him round the neck with his leftarm,--getting his head into chancery as we used to say when we foughtat school,--struck the poor wretch some half-dozen times violentlyin the face, not knowing or caring exactly where he hit him, but atevery blow obliterating a feature. And he would have continued hadnot Ruby flown at him and rescued Sir Felix from his arms. "He'sabout got enough of it," said John Crumb as he gave over his work.Then Sir Felix fell again to the ground, moaning fearfully. "I know'dhe'd have to have it," said John Crumb.

  Ruby's screams of course brought the police, one arriving from eachend of the passage on the scene of action at the same time. And nowthe cruellest thing of all was that Ruby in the complaints which shemade to the policemen said not a word against Sir Felix, but wasas bitter as she knew how to be in her denunciations of John Crumb.It was in vain that John endeavoured to make the man understandthat the young woman had been crying out for protection when he hadinterfered. Ruby was very quick of speech and John Crumb was veryslow. Ruby swore that nothing so horrible, so cruel, so bloodthirstyhad ever been done before. Sir Felix himself when appealed to couldsay nothing. He could only moan and make futile efforts to wipe awaythe stream of blood from his face when the men stood him up leaningagainst the railings. And John, though he endeavoured to make thepolicemen comprehend the extent of the wickedness of the youngbaronet, would not say a word against Ruby. He was not even in theleast angered by her denunciations of himself. As he himself saidsometimes afterwards, he had "dropped into the baro-nite" just intime, and, having been successful in this, felt no wrath against Rubyfor having made such an operation necessary.

  There was soon a third policeman on the spot, and a dozen otherpersons,--cab-drivers, haunters of the street by night, and houselesswanderers, casuals who at this season of the year preferred thepavements to the poor-house wards. They all took part against JohnCrumb. Why had the big man interfered between the young woman and heryoung man? Two or three of them wiped Sir Felix's face, and dabbedhis eyes, and proposed this and the other remedy. Some thought thathe had better be taken straight to an hospital. One lady remarkedthat he was "so mashed and mauled" that she was sure he would never"come to" again. A precocious youth remarked that he was "all oneas a dead 'un." A cabman observed that he had "'ad it awful 'eavy."To all these criticisms on his condition Sir Felix himself madeno direct reply, but he intimated his desire to be carried awaysomewhere, though he did not much care whither.

  At last the policemen among them decided upon a course of action.They had learned by the united testimony of Ruby and Crumb that SirFelix was Sir Felix. He was to be carried in a cab by one constableto Bartholomew Hospital, who would then take his address so that hemight be produced and bound over to prosecute. Ruby should be evenconducted to the address she gave,--not half a mile from the spoton which they now stood,--and be left there or not according to theaccount which might be given of her. John Crumb must be undoubtedlylocked up in the station-house. He was the offender;--for aught thatany of them yet knew, the murderer. No one said a good word forhim. He hardly said a good word for himself, and certainly made noobjection to the treatment that had been proposed for him. But,no doubt, he was buoyed up inwardly by the conviction that he hadthoroughly thrashed his enemy.

  Thus it came to pass that the two policemen with John Crumb andRuby came together to Mrs. Pipkin's door. Ruby was still loud withcomplaints against the ruffian who had beaten her lover,--who,perhaps, had killed her loved one. She threatened the gallows, andhandcuffs, and perpetual imprisonment, and an action for damagesamidst her lamentations. But from Mrs. Hurtle the policemen didmanage to learn something of the truth. Oh yes;--the girl livedthere and was--respectable. This man whom they had arrested wasrespectable also, and was the girl's proper lover. The other man whohad been beaten was undoubtedly the owner of a title; but he was notrespectable, and was only the girl's improper lover. And John Crumb'sname was given. "I'm John Crumb of Bungay," said he, "and I ain'tafeared of nothin' nor nobody. And I ain't a been a drinking; no, Iain't. Mauled 'un! In course I've mauled 'un. And I meaned it. Thatere young woman is engaged to be my wife."

  "No, I ain't," shouted Ruby.

  "But
she is," persisted John Crumb.

  "Well then, I never will," rejoined Ruby.

  John Crumb turned upon her a look of love, and put his hand on hisheart. Whereupon the senior policeman said that he saw at a glancehow it all was, but that Mr. Crumb had better come along withhim,--just for the present. To this arrangement the unfortunate herofrom Bungay made not the slightest objection.

  "Miss Ruggles," said Mrs. Hurtle, "if that young man doesn't conqueryou at last you can't have a heart in your bosom."

  "Indeed and I have then, and I don't mean to give it him if it's everso. He's been and killed Sir Felix." Mrs. Hurtle in a whisper to Mrs.Pipkin expressed a wicked wish that it might be so. After that thethree women all went to bed.