Usurper

  I was trying desperately hard not to think about Zoe. I knew the Miacha would do what was best for her, but she had been gone hardly any time at all when I had succumbed to the anger inside me. I worried about my future actions without her human influence.

  “I was lonely when you were gone,” Brendan said abruptly.

  I looked at him in surprise. There was no humour in his expression. I tried to laugh, but it came out unhappy. “Me, too.”

  “So was Drake.”

  “Stop it.”

  “He’s changed.”

  “Every one of us has changed,” I said. “Nothing ever stays the same.”

  “Is that such a bad thing?”

  “You’re the one saying it like it’s the end of the world.”

  “Maybe I am.” He sighed again, heavier. “He’s angry with me. He blames me, I think. Whenever I’m near Scarlet, I feel his eyes boring into my back.”

  “Is that why you give her the time of day?” I demanded. “To piss off Drake?”

  “No, I do it to impress you,” he said with a grin.

  “You’re so full of it.” But I smiled back. “And Sorcha informed me that she’ll be a mother before long, so I doubt he’ll care if you make friends with Scarlet.”

  “Did she?” He looked thoughtful. “And what did you say?”

  “I told her how she dies. She laughed it off.”

  “Banshees aren’t afraid of death. It’s the ultimate gift, after all.”

  “The mirror showed her dying in childbirth.”

  “That’s… unfortunate. Perhaps the mirror shows possibilities. Or maybe it’s there to confuse and provoke. You should have smashed it when you had the chance.”

  “Maybe.” Silently, I disagreed.

  “He really did love you, Cara,” he said softly. “He went a little demented when you were taken by Sadler.”

  “He didn’t show it.”

  “A leader can’t show weakness. It’s the first step to ruin. You know that. I know you understand that. But you encourage the anger. Why?”

  “It’s better than falling apart, Brendan.” I took a deep breath. He was hitting too close to a nerve.

  “Do you love him?”

  “He’s married to the banshee. We barely talk, never mind anything else. When we do speak, it ends in a shouting match half the time.”

  “That’s not an answer.”

  “I don’t have an answer.” I urged Dubh to move a little faster, but Brendan kept up with us.

  “I’m sorry we let it happen,” he said. “I’m sorry about what you went through, but don’t let it kill everything that makes you… you.”

  “What are you even talking about?”

  “You’re becoming more like us.”

  “And you’re starting to sound like Drake.”

  “No, listen to me. Just this once, listen.” He had never sounded so earnest. “This is a place of magic, Cara, and magic can manifest itself in ways you would never expect.”

  “Seriously. I’m not following you.”

  He looked exasperated. “I can’t feel you anymore. The only time I feel anything from you is when you’re with Scarlet. Maybe that’s why I spend time with her. It’s the only time Cara is present.”

  “You’re being—”

  “Let me talk. For once, let me say what I have to say without argument. You’re burying everything you’re feeling. I know you are. I should feel your anger and hurt and pain and everything else that you have to be feeling after what you went through. You just sent your best friend away, and you’ve barely shown a reaction since the night she had the seizure. You should be a font of emotion right now. But you’re cold. You’re acting like one of us, but you’re not. You’re human in all of the best ways, and if you keep shovelling those feelings down, they’ll burst out of you in other ways. This is the world where nothing makes sense, and you’re playing a dangerous game.”

  “I’m not playing a game,” I said softly, “unless you mean that game where I do whatever it takes to survive just one more day. Because I’m getting pretty good at that one, and you’re the one who encourages me to do it.”

  “Let me in sometimes,” he said. “That’s all I’m asking. Let somebody in and let those feelings go somewhere. Don’t let them fester inside you like that taint in your veins. I’m afraid for you.”

  “I thought faeries don’t have feelings,” I said harshly.

  “Turns out we do. We just need them coaxed out of us sometimes. And then there’s nowhere for them to go when the people who do the coaxing box themselves away.”

  “You actually sound serious.”

  “That’s because I am.” He looked me dead in the eye and went in for the kill. “Don’t you miss Zoe?”

  “I’m trying not to think about her. If I start thinking of her, then I’ll start thinking of my grandparents and home, and I won’t be able to do what I have to do here.”

  “And what’s that?”

  I looked away. “Whatever it takes.”

  “A Darksider.” He reached out and grazed my cheek with his fingers. “You.”

  I dug my heels in and urged Dubh forward.

  “You don’t have to be alone” were the barely audible words Brendan uttered in my wake.

  ***

  Deeper into the forest, the air thickened with tension. There had been some kind of argument between Oisín and the bulky sullen-eyed faery with razor-sharp fingernails. The divide between the different groups of soldiers had widened, and it seemed as though everyone but Jackie was in a terrible mood. When we stopped to eat, I caught Drake staring at Scarlet a number of times. Maybe I was imagining the look to be calculated, but it sent a chill down my spine.

  When we set off again, I rode next to Brendan. He had been right about me. I was trying to block everything out. It wasn’t meant to be permanent, just something to keep me going for a while.

  “I’m sorry,” I said after a while.

  “You’ve nothing to be sorry for,” he said.

  “I am mad at you,” I admitted. “I’m kind of mad at everyone in some way. But I’m glad to be here, too. I’m not trying to ignore everything I feel. I’m just sticking a pin in it until I’ve time to process. Okay?”

  “You always were the smart one,” he said with a grin.

  That night, when we set up camp, the crow returned. Or rather, a crow showed up. I didn’t know if it was the same one. Still, it set me on edge.

  “I have a bad feeling,” I told Rumble. “Stay close to Scarlet. I’m going to see if the scouts are back yet.”

  Rumble nodded. Out of everyone, I trusted him the most with Scarlet. He wouldn’t try to save me instead of her. That was oddly reassuring.

  I found Brendan rubbing down his horse.

  “Hey,” I said. “This might sound strange, but there’s a crow hanging around. Shit seems to follow that bird, so I’m a little worried.”

  “You think it’s the same bird?” he asked, looking amused.

  “I’m thinking that there are no coincidences. Have the scouts gotten back yet? Is it safe here?”

  He frowned. “They’re not back. They should be. I’ll—”

  The crow began to caw loudly, startling everyone in camp.

  Brendan glanced up. “That’s one loud bird.”

  The noise of a horn filled the air. Immediately, the distinct sound of clashing swords echoed around the clearing.

  “Ambush!” somebody yelled.

  Soldiers moved into action as one.

  “Run,” Brendan said.

  I sprinted toward where I knew Scarlet was, but the sullen Darksider got in my way, a knife gleaming in his hand. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rumble and Vix amongst the soldiers guarding my daughter. The Darksider raised his arm and brought the knife down. Brendan came out of nowhere and caught the blade with his bare hand. Blood dripped between his fingers as he forced the weapon away from me.

  I heard a wet sucking sound. The Darksider fell forward with a sword
sticking through his gut.

  With a look of disgust, Donncha pulled his sword out of the man’s body and wiped it clean on the grass. “Apologies,” he said. “I was too slow.”

  “What’s happening?” Brendan demanded, flinging the Darksider’s weapon away.

  “The edges of camp were attacked. This one took advantage of the distraction.” Donncha kicked the body. “I request only that the others aren’t punished for our mistakes.”

  “You did good,” I said. “I need to get to Scarlet.”

  “She’s safe,” Donncha said. “The rest of the Darksiders are watching over her, even the little ones who aren’t warriors.”

  He was right. Jackie and his lads had surrounded the carriage, looking as fierce as they could despite being pretty diminutive next to the warriors.

  The fighting was over almost as soon as it started.

  “A desperate act,” Donncha said. “I’ll have my people clear the area, with your permission.”

  “Go with mine,” Brendan said. “Double up in case there are more attackers out there.”

  Donncha looked at me for confirmation then left. A strange pit-pat sound made me look down. The blood from Brendan’s wound formed a tiny puddle on the leaves between us.

  “Oh, your poor hand! What were you thinking?” I inspected his wound. It looked nasty.

  “I was thinking, ‘Brendan, today is the day to be a hero.’ Was I wrong? Damn.”

  I laughed. “You’re ridiculous. Come on. Fiadh has a rockin’ first aid kit that Grey Eyes left behind.”

  “Do you call her Grey Eyes to her face?” He let me lead him to the carriages, making smart remarks all the way.

  “Pathetic,” Vix said when we reached the carriage. “I didn’t even get to hit one person.”

  “Terrible,” I said. “What’s the world coming to? Is Scarlet okay?”

  “Relax. Nothing came near us.”

  I leaned into the carriage. “They’re just checking the area. Maybe stay inside until we know for sure it’s clear, okay?”

  Fiadh nodded. “I don’t have a problem with that.”

  “I need some bandages and maybe that ointment for infections. Brendan’s hand was hurt.”

  She pulled a basket out from under her seat and took out a package. “This should have everything you need. Can I help?”

  “We’ll be fine,” I said. I smiled at my daughter. “She slept through it all?”

  Fiadh nodded.

  Conn opened the door. “We’re clear,” he said. “A bunch of bandits who overestimated themselves. We’ve kept some as prisoners. I’ll question them later.”

  I took the medicine and went back to Brendan. Bran had already left some clean water.

  Brendan looked uncertainly at the ointment. “Are you sure all of this is necessary?”

  “Don’t be such a baby.” I bathed the cut and laughed at him when he winced. I reminded him of the time he and Drake had cut open my festered wound. “You don’t want that to happen to you, trust me,” I said. “So let me clean it properly.”

  “Yes, my lady.”

  “Don’t torment the person who’s this close to stinging the hell out of you.”

  The camp bustled around us, returning to normal pretty quickly. Weirdly, the tension that had been so prevalent seemed to lift. Defending camp together had somewhat united the different groups.

  When I finished bandaging Brendan’s hand, I held it in mine a bit longer than necessary. “No more being a hero, okay?”

  “But it makes me look so good.”

  I took his good hand and squeezed, letting a little of what I had felt when he grabbed the blade slip through. I had been horrified and scared for him, and I allowed some of that to escape. A small gasp escaped his lips.

  “No more,” I said meaningfully, and then I left to spend time with my daughter.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  For two days, we saw nobody outside of our group, and although it was clear people were apprehensive about what was to come, the different courts mixed together more often, even going so far as to play sports together. Late in the evening, when the meals and work were done, Donncha led the Darksiders in a hurling match against members of the Green Court.

  Brendan bemoaned the fact that he couldn’t play with his own team, and we both sat together to watch the somewhat friendly match. I winced as Jackie smacked one of his own sons across the back of the legs with an oversized hurley stick.

  Jackie called to Brendan, “I can’t believe your people brought hurls and sliotars with them to a war. What are ye like?”

  Brendan grinned. “We knew there would be downtime. Can’t go on a long trip without some entertainment. And if you don’t consider either of those a weapon, then you haven’t been to the right matches.”

  Oisín stopped a speeding sliotar with his forehead and fell to the ground.

  “Oh, my God!” I cried. “Why are they doing this to themselves?”

  Brendan leaned back against a giant tree. “They need to let off steam. Let them be. He’s fine.” He pointed. “Look He’s up on his feet again.”

  I peeked through my fingers and saw Donncha ruffle Oisín’s mohawk. “Lunatics, the lot of them. Why aren’t any of Drake’s people joining in?”

  “He’s paranoid about another attack. He’s making them double up and take extra runs around camp. They’ll be exhausted by the time we reach Sadler’s castle.”

  “They’re not the only ones. This dead heat is killing me. What the hell did you and Drake do anyway?”

  “Stopped the rain,” he said. “Maybe we did too good of a job. But it’s better than thunderstorms and torrential rain.”

  “I could do with a little breeze.”

  He fanned me with his injured hand until I shoved him.

  “Ha,” he said. “We’re winning.” He sighed. “It’s such a beautiful, violent game. I’m pretty sure a faery came up with it just to see humans get bloody.”

  I snorted. “Always taking credit for everything.”

  “Come closer,” he said. “I’m wounded and need comfort.”

  I kept my eyes on the game. “He says to the only girl in the vicinity.”

  “That’s not the only reason. Were you really so worried about me?”

  “Don’t push your luck!” I edged away from him. “I should go check on Scarlet.”

  “Don’t go yet.”

  “Why?”

  He smiled. “I’ll think of a reason later.”

  “You’re in one of your silly moods. It makes me uncomfortable.”

  “I sincerely apologise for being happy to be in your company.”

  “The sickly sweet thing doesn’t suit you, Brendan.”

  “I can try the hero thing again.”

  “That’s it. I’m going.” I walked away, smiling as I heard his infectious laughter.

  On the way, I saw Jackie limping toward the fire.

  “Finished?” I asked.

  “I’ve got a stitch, and I’m tired. I’m an old man, and…” He looked around and shrugged. “And I keep hearing things.”

  “Like, voices in your head?”

  “No, woman. Like signals I haven’t heard in a long time. Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to smoke a pipe in peace.”

  “Wait. What kind of signals?”

  “Jaysus,” he said. “There’s no peace in this place. Come on then. We’ll investigate.”

  “Okay,” I said, walking next to him. “But what exactly are we investigating?”

  “The sounds. The signals. We have scouts, do we not?”

  “Extra since the last attack.”

  He scoffed, “Attack, indeed. A suicide mission that was. And are you going to leave them in chains for eternity or what?”

  “Sport makes you mouthy. I’d rather let them go, but they could have killed somebody.”

  “Have you seen them?” he asked. “I bet you haven’t. They’re a bunch of boys, so they are.”

  “Show me.”

/>   He shook his head. “No peace at all. The Silver ones are keeping guard. That big lad, what’s his name? Oh, yeah, Conn. That one. They wouldn’t let him near them. King’s orders, they said. I heard him tell that lady all about it.”

  “Why didn’t they tell me?”

  “Nobody wants to worry you. You look sad so much that nobody wants to ruin the good mood you’ve been in the last few days.”

  That startled me. “Right then. Let’s get Conn to come with us.”

  I steered him back toward the carriages where the others were relaxing. Conn and Fiadh were playing with the children while Vix and Rumble strolled around them. Bran sat apart, looking subdued.

  “I’m going to see the attackers,” I said. “If anyone wants to join me, come now.”

  Conn and Bran volunteered immediately.

  “Pah,” Vix said. “Put them all to death. Who cares for talking?”

  “I’ll stay with the child,” Rumble said.

  “Fine,” I said. “Let’s go.”

  Bran and Conn walked on either side of me as we followed Jackie. The old man put a finger to his lips as we neared the edge of camp. He pointed toward a thicket of trees and signalled for us to follow him. I could clearly hear the voices of a couple of soldiers joking together, but there wasn’t a sound from the prisoners.

  We entered a small clearing. Seven faeries were chained together, all of them bruised and beaten. They looked exhausted and half-starved.

  “What’s going on here?” I asked Drake’s men.

  “We’re guarding the prisoners,” one of them said. “In case they try to escape.”

  “They’re not in any condition to escape,” I snapped. “Get them food and water. Now.”

  “We were told to—”

  “I said now!”

  He looked at his companion and shrugged. Both of them left.

  I peered at the dishevelled prisoners. “They’re not soldiers.”

  “Farmers, maybe,” Bran said.

  “One of the tribes,” Jackie said. “Starved and beaten into submission. Oh, a fine lot the king’s men are.”