Gabriel Conroy

  CHAPTER VI.

  MR. DUMPHY IS PERPLEXED BY A MOVEMENT IN REAL ESTATE.

  Mr. Dumphy's confidence in himself was so greatly restored that severalbusiness enterprises of great pith and moment, whose currents for thepast few days had been turned awry, and so "lost the name of action,"were taken up by him with great vigour and corresponding joy to thehumbler business associates who had asked him just to lend his name tothat project, and make "a big thing of it." He had just given his royalsanction and a cheque to an Association for the Encouragement ofImmigration, by the distribution through the sister States of onemillion seductive pamphlets, setting forth the various resources andadvantages of California for the farmer, and proving that one hundredand fifty dollars spent for a passage thither was equal to the price ofa farm; he had also assisted in sending the eloquent Mr. Blowhard andthe persuasive Mr. Windygust to present these facts orally to thebenighted dwellers of the East, and had secured the services of twoeminent Californian statisticians to demonstrate the fact, that morepeople were killed by lightning and frozen to death in the streets ofNew York in a single year than were ever killed by railroad accidents orhuman violence in California during the past three centuries; he hadthat day conceived the "truly magnificent plan" of bringing the watersof Lake Tahoe to San Francisco by ditches, thereby enabling the citizensto keep the turf in their door-yards green through the summer. He hadstarted two banks, a stage line, and a watering place, whose climate andsprings were declared healthful by edict, and were aggressivelyadvertised; and he had just projected a small suburban town that shouldbear his name. He had returned from this place in high spirits with acompany of friends in the morning after this interview with Poinsett.There was certainly no trace of the depression of that day in hismanner.

  It was a foggy morning, following a clear, still night--an atmosphericcondition not unusual at that season of the year to attract Mr. Dumphy'sattention, yet he was conscious on reaching his office of an undueoppressiveness in the air that indisposed him to exertion, and causedhim to remove his coat and cravat. Then he fell to work upon hismorning's mail, and speedily forgot the weather. There was a letterfrom Mrs. Sepulvida, disclosing the fact that, owing to the sudden andunaccountable drying up of the springs on the lower plains, largenumbers of her cattle had died of thirst and were still perishing. Thiswas of serious import to Mr. Dumphy, who had advanced money on thisperishable stock, and he instantly made a memorandum to check thissudden freak of Nature, which he at once attributed to femininecarelessness of management. Further on Mrs. Sepulvida inquiredparticularly as to the condition of the Conroy mine, and displayed adisposition characteristic of her sex, to realise at once on herinvestment. Her letter ended thus: "But I shall probably see you in SanFrancisco. Pepe says that this morning the markings on the beach showedthe rise of a tide or wave during the night higher than any ever knownsince one thousand eight hundred. I do not feel safe so near the beach,and shall rebuild in the spring." Mr. Dumphy smiled grimly to himself.He had at one time envied Poinsett. But here was the woman he wasengaged to marry, careless, improvident, with a vast estate, and on theeve of financial disaster through her carelessness, and yet actuallyabout to take a journey of two hundred miles because of some foolish,womanish whim or superstition. It would be a fine thing if this man, towhom good fortune fell without any effort on his part--this easy,elegant supercilious Arthur Poinsett, who was even indifferent to thatgood fortune, should find himself tricked and deceived! should have toapply to him, Dumphy, for advice and assistance! And this, too, afterhis own advice and assistance regarding the claims of ColonelStarbottle's client had been futile. The revenge would be complete. Mr.Dumphy rubbed his hands in prospective satisfaction.

  When, a few moments later, Colonel Starbottle's card was put into hishand Mr. Dumphy's satisfaction was complete. This was the day that thegallant Colonel was to call for an answer; it was evident that Arthurhad not seen him, nor had he made the discovery of Starbottle's unknownclient. The opportunity of vanquishing this man without the aid or evenknowledge of Poinsett was now before him. By way of preparing himselffor the encounter, as well as punishing the Colonel, he purposelydelayed the interview, and for full five minutes kept his visitorcooling his heels in the outer office.

  He was seated at his desk, ostentatiously preoccupied, when ColonelStarbottle was at last admitted. He did not raise his head when the dooropened, nor in fact until the Colonel, stepping lightly forward, walkedto Dumphy's side, and deliberately unhooking his cane from itsaccustomed rest on his arm, laid it, pronouncedly, on the desk beforehim. The Colonel's face was empurpled, the Colonel's chest wasefflorescent and bursting, the Colonel had the general effect of beingabout to boil over the top button of his coat, but his manner wasjauntily and daintily precise.

  "One moment!--a single moment, sir!" he said, with husky politeness."Before proceeding to business--er--we will devote a single moment tothe necessary explanations of--er--er--a gentleman. The kyard now lyingbefore you, sir, was handed ten minutes ago to one of your subordinates.I wish to inquire, sir, if it was then delivered to you?"

  "Yes," said Mr. Dumphy, impatiently.

  Colonel Starbottle leaned over Mr. Dumphy's desk and coolly rung hisbell. Mr. Dumphy's clerk instantly appeared at the door. "I wish--" saidthe Colonel, addressing himself to the astounded employ['e] as he stoodloftily over Mr. Dumphy's chair--"I have--er--in fact sent for you, towithdraw the offensive epithets I addressed to you, and the threats--ofer--of er--personal violence! The offence--is not, yours--but--er--restswith your employer, for whose apology I am--er--now waiting.Nevertheless I am ready, sir, to hold myself at your service--thatis--er--of course--after my responsibility--er--with yourmaster--er--ceases!"

  Mr. Dumphy, who in the presence of Colonel Starbottle felt his formerawkwardness return, signed with a forced smile to his embarrassed clerkto withdraw, and said hastily, but with an assumption of easyfamiliarity, "Sorry, Colonel, sorry, but I was very busy, and am now. Nooffence. All a mistake, you know! business man and business hours," andMr. Dumphy leaned back in his chair, and emitted his rare cachinnatorybark.

  "Glad to hear it, sir, I accept your apology," said the Colonel,recovering his good humour and his profanity together, "hang me, if Ididn't think it was another affair like that I had with old MajeTolliver, of Georgia. Called on him in Washington in '48 during session.Boy took up my kyard. Waited ten minutes, no reply! Then sent friend,poor Jeff Boomerang, dead now, killed in New Orleans by Ben Pastor--withchallenge. Hang me, sir, after the second shot, Maje sends for me, lyingthar with hole in both lungs, gasping for breath. 'It's all a blunder,Star,' he says, 'boy never brought kyard. Horsewhip the nigger for me,Star, for I reckon I won't live to do it,' and died like a gentleman,blank me!"

  "What have you got to propose?" said Mr. Dumphy, hastily, seeing anopportunity to stop the flow of the Colonel's recollections.

  "According to my memory, at our last interview over the social glass inyour own house, I think something was said of a proposition coming fromyou. That is--er," continued the Colonel, loftily, "I hold myselfresponsible for the mistake, if any."

  It had been Mr. Dumphy's first intention to assume the roughlyoffensive; to curtly inform Colonel Starbottle of the flight of hisconfederate, and dare him to do his worst. But for certain vague reasonshe changed his plan of tactics. He drew his chair closer to the Colonel,and clapping his hand familiarly on his shoulder, began--

  "You're a man of the world, Starbottle, so am I. _Sabe?_ You're agentleman--so am I," he continued, hastily. "But I'm a business man, andyou're not. _Sabe?_ Let's understand each other. No offence, you know,but in the way of business. This woman, claiming to be my wife, don'texist--it's all right, you know, I understand. I don't blame _you_, butyou've been deceived, and all that sort of thing. I've got the proofs.Now as a man of the world and a gentleman and a business man, when I saythe game's up! you'll understand me. Look at that--there!" He thrustinto Starbottle's hand the telegram of the preceding day, "There! theman's hung by th
is time--lynched! The woman's gone!"

  Colonel Starbottle read the telegram without any perceptible dismay orastonishment.

  "Conroy! Conroy!--don't know the man. There was a McConroy, of St. Jo,but I don't think it's the same. No, sir! This ain't like him, sir!Don't seem to be a duel, unless he'd posted the man to kill onsight--murder's an ugly word to use to gentlemen. D--n me, sir, I don'tknow but he could hold the man responsible who sent that despatch. It'soffensive, sir--very!"

  "And you don't know Mrs. Conroy?" continued Mr. Dumphy, fixing his eyeson Colonel Starbottle's face.

  "Mrs. Conroy! The wife of the superintendent--one of the most beautifulwomen! Good Ged, sir, I do! And I'm dev'lish sorry for her. But what'sthis got to do with our affair? Oh! I see, Ged!"--the Colonel suddenlychuckled, drew out his handkerchief, and waved it in the air withdeprecatory gallantry, "gossip, sir, all gossip. People will talk! Afine woman! Blank me, if she was inclined to show some attention toColonel Starbottle--Ged, sir, it was no more than other women have. Youcomprehend, Dumphy? Ged, sir, so the story's got round, eh?--husband'sjealous--killed wrong man! Folks think she's run off with ColonelStarbottle, ha! ha! No, sir," he continued, suddenly dropping into anattitude of dignified severity. "You can say that Colonel Starbottlebranded the story as a lie, sir! That whatever might have been thefoolish indiscretion of a susceptible sex, Colonel Starbottle willdefend the reputation of that lady, sir, with his life--with his life!"

  Absurd and ridiculous as this sudden diversion of Colonel Starbottlefrom the point at issue had become, Dumphy could not doubt hissincerity, nor the now self-evident fact that Mrs. Conroy was _not_ hisvisitor's mysterious client! Mr. Dumphy felt that his suddenly built uptheory was demolished and his hope with it. He was still at the mercy ofthis conceited braggart and the invisible power behind him--whoever orwhatever it might be. Mr. Dumphy was not inclined to superstition, buthe began to experience a strange awe of his unknown persecutor, andresolved at any risk to discover who it was. Could it be really hiswife?--had not the supercilious Poinsett been himself tricked--or was henot now trying to trick him, Dumphy? Couldn't Starbottle be bribed toexpose at least the name of his client? He would try it.

  "I said just now you had been deceived in this woman who representsherself to be my wife. I find I have been mistaken in the person, who Ibelieve imposed upon you, and it is possible that I may be otherwisewrong. My wife may be alive. I am willing to admit it. Bring her hereto-morrow and I will accept it as a fact."

  "You forget that she refuses to see you again," said Colonel Starbottle,"until she has established her claim by process of law."

  "That's so! that's all right, old fellow; _we_ understand each other.Now, suppose that we business men--as a business maxim, you know--alwaysprefer to deal with principals. Now suppose we even go so far as to dothat and yet pay an agent's commission, perhaps--you understand me--evena _bonus_. Good! That's business! You understand that as a gentleman anda man of the world. Now, I say, bring me your principal--fetch alongthat woman, and I'll make it all right with _you_. Stop! I know whatyou're going to say; you're bound by honour and all that--I understandyour position as a gentleman, and respect it. Then let me know where Ican find her! Understand--you sha'n't be compromised as bringing aboutthe interview in any way. I'll see that you're protected in yourcommissions from your client; and for my part--if a cheque for fivethousand dollars will satisfy you of my desire to do the right thing inthis matter, it's at your service."

  The Colonel rose to his feet and applied himself apparently to thesingle and silent inflation of his chest, for the space of a minute.When the upper buttons of his coat seemed to be on the point of flyingoff with a report, he suddenly extended his hand and grasped Dumphy'swith fervour. "Permit me," he said, in a voice husky with emotion, "tocongratulate myself on dealing with a gentleman and a man of honour.Your sentiments, sir, I don't care if I do say it, do you credit! I amproud, sir," continued the Colonel, warmly, "to have made youracquaintance! But I regret to say, sir, that I cannot give you theinformation you require. I do not myself know the name or address of myclient."

  The look of half-contemptuous satisfaction which had irradiated Dumphy'sface at the beginning of this speech, changed to one of angry suspicionat its close. "That's a d----d queer oversight of yours," he ejaculated,with an expression as nearly insulting as he dared to make it. ColonelStarbottle did not apparently notice the manner of his speech, butdrawing his chair close beside Dumphy, he laid his hand upon his arm.

  "Your confidence as a man of honour and a gentleman," he began, "demandsequal confidence and frankness on my part, and Culp. Starbottle ofVirginia is not the man to withhold it! When I state that I do _not_know the name and address of my client, I believe, sir, there is no onenow living, who will--er--er--require or--er--deem it necessary for meto repeat the assertion! Certainly not, sir," added the Colonel, lightlywaving his hand, "the gentleman who has just honoured me with hisconfidence and invited mine--I thank you, sir," he continued, as Mr.Dumphy made a hasty motion of assent, "and will go on."

  "It is not necessary for me to name the party who first put me inpossession of the facts. You will take my word as a gentleman--er--thatit is some one unknown to you, of unimportant position, though of strictrespectability, and one who acted only as the agent of my real client.When the case was handed over to me there was also put into mypossession a sealed envelope containing the name of my client andprincipal witness. My injunctions were not to open it until allnegotiations had failed and it was necessary to institute legalproceedings. That envelope I have here. You perceive it is unopened!"

  Mr. Dumphy unconsciously reached out his hand. With a gesture of politedeprecation Colonel Starbottle evaded it, and placing the letter on thetable before him, continued, "It is unnecessary to say that--er--therebeing in my judgment no immediate necessity for the beginning of asuit--the injunctions still restrain me, and I shall not open theletter. If, however, I accidentally mislay it on this table and it isreturned to me to-morrow, sealed as before, I believe, sir, as agentleman and a man of honour I violate no pledge."

  "I see," said Mr. Dumphy, with a short laugh.

  "Excuse me, if I venture to require another condition, merely as a formamong men of honour. Write as I dictate." Mr. Dumphy took up a pen.Colonel Starbottle placed one hand on his honourable breast and beganslowly and meditatively to pace the length of the room with the air of asecond measuring the distance for his principal. "Are you ready?"

  "Go on," said Dumphy, impatiently.

  "I hereby pledge myself--er--er--that in the event of any disclosure byme--er--of confidential communications from Colonel Starbottle to me, Ishall hold myself ready to afford him the usual honourablesatisfaction--er--common among gentlemen, at such times or places, andwith such weapons as he may choose, without further formality ofchallenge, and that--er--er--failing in that I do thereby proclaimmyself, without posting, a liar, poltroon, and dastard."

  In the full pre-occupation of his dignified composition, and possiblyfrom an inability to look down over the increased exaggeration of hisswelling breast, Colonel Starbottle did not observe the contemptuoussmile which curled the lip of his amanuensis. Howbeit Mr. Dumphy signedthe document and handed it to him. Colonel Starbottle put it in hispocket. Nevertheless he lingered by Mr. Dumphy's side.

  "The--er--er--cheque," said the Colonel, with a slight cough, "hadbetter be to your order, endorsed by you--to spare any criticismhereafter."

  Mr. Dumphy hesitated a moment. He would have preferred as a matter ofbusiness to have first known the contents of the envelope, but with aslight smile he dashed off the cheque and handed it to the Colonel."If--er--it would not be too much trouble," said the Colonel, jauntily,"for the same reason just mentioned, would you give that--er--piece ofpaper to one of your clerks to draw the money for me?"

  Mr. Dumphy impatiently, with his eyes on the envelope, rang his bell andhanded the cheque to the clerk, while Colonel Starbottle, with an air ofabstraction, walked discreetly to the w
indow.

  For the rest of Colonel Starbottle's life he never ceased to deplorethis last act of caution, and regret that he had not put the cheque inhis pocket. For as he walked to the window the floor suddenly appearedto rise beneath his feet and as suddenly sank again, and he was thrownviolently against the mantelpiece. He felt sick and giddy. With aterrible apprehension of apoplexy in his whirling brain, he turnedtoward his companion, who had risen from his seat and was supportinghimself by his swinging desk with a panic-stricken face and a pallorequal to his own. In another moment a bookcase toppled with a crash tothe floor, a loud outcry arose from the outer offices, and amidst thesounds of rushing feet, the breaking of glass, and the creaking oftimber, the two men dashed with a common instinct to the door. It openedtwo inches and remained fixed. With the howl of a caged wild beastDumphy threw himself against the rattling glass of the window thatopened on the level of the street. In another instant Colonel Starbottlewas beside him on the side-walk, and the next they were separated,unconsciously, uncaringly, as if they had been the merest strangers incontact in a crowd. The business that had brought them together, theunfinished, incomplete, absorbing interests of a moment ago wereforgotten--were buried in the oblivion of another existence, which hadno sympathy with this, whose only instinct was to fly--where, they knewnot!

  The middle of the broad street was filled with a crowd of breathless,pallid, death-stricken men who had lost all sense but the commoninstinct of animals. There were hysterical men, who laughed loudlywithout a cause, and talked incessantly of what they knew not. Therewere dumb, paralysed men, who stood helplessly and hopelessly beneathcornices and chimneys that toppled over and crushed them. There wereautomatic men, who flying, carried with them the work on which they wereengaged--one whose hands were full of bills and papers, another who heldhis ledger under his arm. There were men who had forgotten the ordinaryinstincts of decency--some half-dressed. There were men who rushed fromthe fear of death into its presence; two were picked up, one who hadjumped through a skylight, another who had blindly leaped from afourth-story window. There were brave men who trembled like children;there was one whose life had been spent in scenes of daring and danger,who cowered paralysed in the corner of the room from which a few inchesof plastering had fallen. There were hopeful men who believed that thedanger was over, and having passed, would, by some mysterious law, neverrecur; there were others who shook their heads and said that the nextshock would be fatal. There were crowds around the dust that arose fromfallen chimneys and cornices, around runaway horses that had dashed asmadly as their drivers against lamp-posts, around telegraph andnewspaper offices eager to know the extent of the disaster. Along theremoter avenues and cross-streets dwellings were deserted, people satupon their doorsteps or in chairs upon the sidewalks, fearful of thehouses they had built with their own hands, and doubtful even of thisblue arch above them that smiled so deceitfully; of those far-reachingfields beyond, which they had cut into lots and bartered and sold, andwhich now seemed to suddenly rise against them, or slip and wither awayfrom their very feet. It seemed so outrageous that this dull, patientearth, whose homeliness they had adorned and improved, and which,whatever their other fortune or vicissitudes, at least had been theirsure inheritance, should have become so faithless. Small wonder that theowner of a little house, which had sunk on the reclaimed water front,stooped in the speechless and solemn absurdity of his wrath to shake hisclenched fist in the face of the Great Mother.

  The real damage to life and property had been so slight and in suchpronounced contrast to the prevailing terror, that half an hour lateronly a sense of the ludicrous remained with the greater masses of thepeople. Mr. Dumphy, like all practical, unimaginative men, was among thefirst to recover his presence of mind with the passing of the immediatedanger. People took confidence when this great man, who had so much tolose, after sharply remanding his clerks and everybody else back tobusiness, re-entered his office. He strode at once to his desk. But theenvelope was gone! He looked hurriedly among his papers--on thefloor--by the broken window--but in vain.

  Mr. Dumphy instantly rang his bell. The clerk appeared.

  "Was that draft paid?"

  "No, sir; we were counting the money when"----

  "Stop it!--return the draft to me."

  The young man was confiding to his confr[`e]res his suspicions of aprobable "run" on the bank as indicated by Mr. Dumphy's caution, when hewas again summoned by Mr. Dumphy.

  "Go to Mr. Poinsett's office and ask him to come here at once."

  In a few moments the clerk returned out of breath.

  "Mr. Poinsett left a quarter of an hour ago, sir, for San Antonio."

  "San Antonio?"

  "Yes, sir--they say there's bad news from the Mission."