Darkest Hour Before Dawn

  "Why?"

  Seb put his hand to Hudson's cheek, his thumb stroking softly. "Hurts too much."

  Hudson gingerly put his hands on Seb's chest, splaying his fingers over the hard pectoral muscles beneath the fabric of Seb's cotton T-shirt. His mind was awash with memories of Seb's sculpted body over Hudson's, pressing him down into the mattress, strong hands caressing Hudson's neck, Hudson's legs wrapped around powerful thighs beneath a perfect arse. Hudson's pleasure was paramount to Seb. He always thought of Hudson before himself, and Hudson had accepted. Nina was right. He'd been selfish, always taking what he needed from Seb, believing he gave enough, that Seb had everything he needed from Hudson, but how could he have everything when Hudson held so much back?

  "I'm sorry," Hudson said, the words caught in his throat. "I'm so sorry."

  "For what?"

  "For the other night at Dekatria." For not appreciating you like I should have.

  Seb shook his head. "Don't worry about it."

  "No. What I did was shameful. Seeking your attention like some scorned juvenile." Pushing Seb away only to get upset when the man did as asked. It was deplorable.

  Seb blinked at him. "You wanted my attention?"

  Hudson hesitated before nodding, his cheeks burning when Seb lifted Hudson's face so their eyes could meet. Seb's voice when he spoke was low and throaty.

  "Baby, you always have my attention. Always. There's never a time when you don't have it, even when you're not around."

  Hudson sighed heavily. "Why do you have to be so blasted wonderful?"

  "I think Dom would call me something else," Seb said with a chuckle.

  "You never did know what to do with compliments." Hudson inhaled Seb's scent, a mixture of heady male, shower gel, and aftershave. He smelled so damned good it almost had Hudson whimpering. It was unfair. Seb was more than a temptation; he was a walking wet dream of sensual tastes and touches, which Hudson had been blessed to experience.

  "Not when they come from you."

  Hudson studied him. "What do you mean?"

  Seb covered Hudson's hands with his, his gaze never faltering. "Because I know you. I know when you're just being polite and when you're speaking from your heart. Knowing what you think of me, having you look at me the way you do... it's breathtaking." Slowly he bent his head forward, and Hudson dropped his eyes to Seb's full lips. He remembered how soft they were, how good they tasted. Seb's tongue exploring his mouth, his body thrumming with desire, radiating heat all because of Hudson. His trousers grew tight, and Hudson closed his hands into fists against Seb's chest. He'd never wanted anything so badly.

  Hudson's eyes drifted closed as Seb's lips brushed over his in a feathery kiss, and Hudson gasped, feeling as though his heart had been electroshocked, beating with life after years of dormancy. Seb dropped his hands, his smile sheepish as he began to pull away.

  "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have--"

  Panic struck Hudson. He grabbed the back of Seb's neck, and fisted his other hand in Seb's T-shirt as he stood on his toes to press his lips to Seb's. Seb's sharp intake of breath left him open to Hudson's tongue, and he dove in without hesitation, kissing Seb as if Seb were the only source of breath in Hudson's body. If he didn't kiss Seb, didn't taste him, feel Seb's tongue entwined with his own, he would break. He was so weary of dreaming, yearning for his mate's touch. It was time he did something about it.

  Chapter 6

  SEB WRAPPED his arms around Hudson, pulling Hudson up hard against him, their bodies crushed together so tight, as if trying to become one. Hudson melted against Seb, allowing Seb to hold him up. He didn't trust his own legs at the moment, not when he was filled with the sensation of Seb kissing him. He couldn't hold back his moan as Seb's gentle, heated kiss led to Hudson's mouth being ravished, the hunger and heat threatening to make him combust. Closer. Hudson needed to be closer. He tugged at Seb's T-shirt like he used to, and Seb reached down, grabbed his arse, and lifted him with ease. He sat Hudson on the pool table's edge and stepped between his legs so their erections pressed together. Hudson wrapped his legs around Seb's thighs, in case he had any ideas about moving away.

  Hudson gasped as he was forced to come up for air, and Seb took advantage, moving his lips to Hudson's neck to suck and nibble. Had Hudson wanted to say something, anything, the power of speech had abandoned him. He tangled his fingers in Seb's short hair, his breath panting, and his cock straining against his trousers. Seb slipped one hand under Hudson's shirt, the other cupping Hudson's left arse cheek. Hudson arched his back, a whimper escaping him as he writhed in Seb's hold.

  "My beautiful Lobito." Seb's voice was husky, and Hudson all but came in his pants.

  "Darling," Hudson pleaded, uncertain what he was asking--begging--for. Forget tomorrow. Only right now mattered, and he needed Seb so badly it was painful.

  "We should--"

  Hudson cut Seb off with his mouth. He shook his head, reaching between them to cup Seb through his jeans. Seb moaned into Hudson's mouth, and Hudson pushed him hard. Startled, Seb stepped back, his lips swollen from kissing, his cheeks pink, and his hair sticking up. He'd opened his mouth to speak, when Hudson hopped down, took hold of Seb's waistband, and undid the buttons of his fly.

  "Lobito...."

  Hudson tugged down Seb's jeans and boxer briefs to midthigh, moaning as Seb's beautiful, thick cock sprang free, jutting up toward his stomach. If Hudson didn't taste Seb, he was going to lose his bloody mind. He wrapped his hand around the base of Seb's already leaking cock, loving the tremor he felt go through Seb. Hudson licked up the length of Seb's erection. He drew the rosy-hued knob into his mouth and sucked at the salty pearls before pressing his tongue to the slit.

  "Oh, fuck." Seb slipped his fingers into Hudson's hair, kneading his scalp as Hudson took Seb deep down his throat, relishing the guttural moan Seb released. As much as Hudson wished he could swallow Seb down, he was far too big. Hudson's mouth was only so wide, and his throat only so deep. Regardless, Hudson devoured Seb, sucking, licking, and nipping at Seb's tender skin, every taste fueling Hudson's hunger. Hudson moved a hand to Seb's arse cheek and dug his fingers into the firm, rounded globe.

  "Baby, I'm not gonna last," Seb said through a gasp. "The last test came back negative, so you know."

  Hudson expected no less from Seb. He hummed an acknowledgment around Seb's cock, doubling his efforts, his body all but trembling with the anticipation of having Seb come down his throat. He moved his hand from the base of Seb's cock to his balls, slipping his other finger between Seb's arse cheeks. Seb bucked in his mouth, releasing a litany of curses as Hudson sucked hard, fondling Seb's balls and circling his puckered hole with his other finger, teasing, pressing, driving Seb mad with his touch.

  Seb's hold on Hudson's hair tightened, and he sucked in a sharp breath. "Baby...."

  With a moan, Hudson pushed a finger inside Seb, and salty come shot into his mouth. Seb's body went rigid, and Hudson looked up at him, shivering at the molten heat in his near-black eyes, only a sliver of green remaining. Hudson sucked the last remaining drop from Seb before letting Seb's cock slip from between his lips. Seb reached down and grabbed his arm, then jerked Hudson to his feet and against him, their mouths crashing together in a breathless fervor of sucking, biting, and kissing.

  Seb pushed Hudson back against the pool table, took him and turned him roughly, then pressed up against Hudson's back. He fumbled with Hudson's trouser buttons before finally managing to get them undone, then slipped his hand inside Hudson's pants to grab his hard cock.

  "Oh God," Hudson said through his gasp, his hands flat against the pool table's surface as Seb squeezed his painfully hard erection. He released Hudson and brought his hand up.

  "Spit," Seb growled, and Hudson shivered again at the feral command. He did as Seb demanded, spitting into Seb's hand. When Seb took hold of his cock again, now slick with Hudson's spit and precome, Hudson feared he might lose it right then. Seb had other plans for him.

  Seb tugg
ed and twisted, moving his hand up and down Hudson's cock, as his free hand yanked down Hudson's trousers until they were under his arse. Hudson's gasp at the feel of Seb's hard cock pressed against his crease.

  "Darling," Hudson murmured, his head falling forward as he widened his stance. Seb pushed his cock between Hudson's cheeks, and Hudson trembled at Seb rutting against him. He stroked Hudson mercilessly with one hand, his other hand going to Hudson's shoulder to hold him in place as he intensified the friction, his chest pressing to Hudson's back.

  Seb nipped at Hudson's jaw. "You're so fucking beautiful, my heart can't take it."

  The pressure inside Hudson increased, and he bucked his hips. Unable to stop, he drove himself in and out of Seb's strong hand.

  "That's it, sweetheart. Pretend it's my ass you're fucking."

  Hudson whimpered. "I can't." Having Seb's cock between his cheeks, rubbing, pressing against his hole, it was too much. "Sebastian, love, please...."

  "Fuck me, Hudson." Seb squeezed Hudson's cock, and Hudson cried out Seb's name before thrusting into his hand over and over, his movements growing erratic as he threw his head back and to the side, seeking Seb's mouth. He was rewarded with Seb's tongue slipping between his lips, plundering, demanding, reducing Hudson to a whimpering, keening mess.

  "Oh God, Seb!" Hudson's orgasm plowed through him, and Seb's growl joined Hudson's cry, hot come dripping between Hudson's arse cheeks as Hudson coated Seb's hands. His body shook, and Hudson doubled over as his release continued to course through him. Seb folded over him, and Hudson heard his heart pounding in his ears, his cock twitching in Seb's grasp.

  Hudson closed his eyes, smiling at Seb's gentle kiss. They remained unmoving for the longest time before Seb pulled away, and Hudson groaned at the chill hitting his bare arse, but the feel of Seb's come running down his thigh brought his smile back. A heartbeat later, Seb returned and cleaned up Hudson with a damp washcloth. Hudson would have fallen asleep on the pool table if Seb let him. Instead, Seb tenderly pulled Hudson's trousers up, turned him, and kissed him. He fastened Hudson's buttons, his own clothes set to rights. Hudson hummed, smiling stupidly as Seb pulled him into a warm embrace. Hudson snuggled close, his bones feeling like jelly. A contented sigh escaped him, and Seb chuckled. He ran a hand over Hudson's hair and kissed the top of his head.

  "I know it's tomorrow, but happy birthday, Lobito."

  Hudson blinked up at him. "Good Lord. It is my birthday tomorrow, isn't it?"

  Seb laughed softly. "How is it you remember everyone else's birthday but not your own?"

  Hudson shrugged. "I suppose it doesn't feel very important."

  "Oh, sweetheart, it is important. It's important to me." Seb nuzzled Hudson's temple, his lips brushing against Hudson's skin. He took Hudson's hand and led him to the couch. "I have something for you. I'll be right back. Don't move."

  Hudson wasn't surprised, but he was no less touched. Seb always remembered his birthday, and he always had a gift for Hudson, despite Hudson telling him countless times it was unnecessary. Hudson had a terrible habit of forgetting his own birthday, but Seb was always there to remind him, and the bashful smile on Seb's face when he gave Hudson his gift made Hudson's heart flutter every time. He sat back, his heart happy. Had he really just thrown himself at Seb? His lips curled into a smile, and he couldn't help the heat that rose in his face when he thought of Seb's body against him, his rough, firm hands on Hudson's bare skin.

  Easy there, fella. If he didn't stop thinking about it, Hudson was going to have a very different sort of surprise for Seb.

  Seb returned and took a seat beside Hudson on the couch, their legs pressed against each other. He had a medium-sized box wrapped in silver and white with a frosty, blue ribbon around it. "I was going to give it to you tomorrow, but when I spoke to Nina and found out you were going to drop by to see Mom, I knew I had to bring it to you here. It's kind of personal, so I didn't really want to give it to you at work."

  "Thank you." Hudson smiled warmly at Seb. "You really didn't have to."

  "I know." Seb kissed his cheek. "But I wanted to. It took me a while to figure out. I hope I did okay."

  "Whatever it is, Sebastian, I'm certain it'll be wonderful." Hudson pulled at the ends of the ribbon, slipped it off the box, and placed it to his left. He carefully removed the giftwrap, finding a slim square box beneath. What on earth could it possibly be? Opening the box, Hudson cocked his head. A photo album?

  Curious, Hudson lifted it from the box, moved the box aside, and placed the album on his lap. He opened to the first page, and his heart leaped into his throat. Tears filled his eyes, and he snapped his head up to stare at Seb. When he spoke, his words were almost a whisper.

  "Where...? How did you get this?"

  Seb's eyes became glassy, and he moved his gaze to his fingers, his smile shy. "I sort of broke a few rules and enlisted Dex's help, got him to use his charms to contact THIRDS HQ in London to get Millie's cell phone number. I called her up and begged her to sneak into your parents' house and steal it for me."

  Hudson was speechless. When he finally found his voice, it was rough and laced with emotion. "You spoke to my sister?" Millie and Theo were the only ones who hadn't blamed Hudson for Alfie's death. They hadn't wanted him to leave for America, but Hudson couldn't stay, and they understood. Unfortunately, their father kept them under his thumb, holding their children's educations over their heads, threatening to cut them off if they had any contact with Hudson. Hudson had promised them he wasn't cross with them. How could he blame them for taking care of their children? He would never do anything to hurt his nieces and nephews.

  Seb nodded. "She was so happy to hear you were okay. I told her to make sure she didn't get into any trouble. I gave her my address, and a week later it arrived."

  Hudson still couldn't believe it. He ran his fingers reverently over the old photo of him and Alfie as children hugging each other tight, big smiles on their cherub faces.

  Seb handed Hudson a tissue, and Hudson laughed softly as he wiped his eyes. "Thank you, Sebastian. You don't know how much this means to me."

  "I think I do," Seb said quietly.

  Hudson closed the book, overcome with emotion. He didn't want to stain the pages with his tears. Seb had found a way to contact his sister and somehow got her to retrieve the album containing his and Alfie's pictures. It had been so long since Hudson had seen it. He gently placed it to one side, turned, and threw his arms around Seb, hugging him tight.

  "You're an amazing man, Sebastian Hobbs."

  Seb ran a hand tenderly over Hudson's hair. "You're pretty amazing yourself, Dr. Colbourn."

  Hudson shook his head, unable to reply. He closed his eyes as Seb held him, stroking his hair and murmuring sweet words. When Hudson was certain he wouldn't turn into a blubbering mess, he pulled back, blew his nose on a clean tissue, and returned the album to his lap. The leather was pristine and sturdy, looking as though it had been purchased yesterday and not decades ago. He inhaled deeply and released a steady breath through his mouth before opening the cover.

  "If it wasn't for your expressions, you'd look like twins," Seb said with a smile. He pointed to the small boy on the left with the shy smile. "That's definitely you."

  Hudson studied the photo, his heart squeezing. "We looked very much alike when we were children. Both with the same thick, pitch-black hair and eyebrows, same blue eyes. We even smiled the same. When we hit our teenage years, I was still gangly and awkward, while Alfie grew into his body, sleek and muscular. I looked very much the science nerd I was, and Alfie looked as if he'd stepped off the cover of a magazine. Left a trail of broken hearts wherever he went." Hudson turned the page and laughed at the picture of them on a pony, Alfie with one hand tucked inside his waistcoat, the other pointing forward and his mouth open as if leading a charge. They'd been about ten years old at the time.

  "Is your brother pretending to be Napoleon?" Seb asked.

  Hudson nodded. "My father was livid. He'd b
rought in a ridiculously expensive photographer to take a picture of us for some society column, and every time the man tried to photograph us, Alfie would strike the most ridiculous pose. None of the photos were any use for the column. This was our nanny's favorite, which is why it made it into the album. She was the one who started this album for us."

  Their parents couldn't be bothered with such a menial task. Having pictures taken and put into albums was the job of the house staff. In a way, Hudson was glad, because it meant the albums were filled with fun, very real moments rather than staged portraits intent on displaying their family's false perfection.

  Hudson went through every picture with Seb, telling him stories of his and Alfie's shenanigans just before that particular photo was taken. Alfie and Hudson pulled funny faces, dressed up as pirates, as Sherlock Holmes and John Watson, as bobbies, and knights, always acting out a scene for the camera. Hudson stilled at one picture he had completely forgotten about.

  "Wow." Seb's voice was hoarse, and when Hudson looked up at him, he was surprised to see tears in Seb's eyes.

  "Seb?"

  "Sorry." Seb wiped at his eyes and laughed at himself. "It's just, you can really see how much he loves you. The way he's looking at you."

  Hudson smiled warmly. "It was at some posh banquet. I can't even remember what for. One of my father's associates was receiving another award or some such thing. I do remember Alfie had turned nineteen that day, so I was eighteen at the time. My father and I had a bloody great row the night before. He believed the banquet was far more important than his son's birthday, and I disagreed. I decided we'd celebrate Alfie's birthday at the banquet. We had so much fun ignoring everyone, dancing and being a couple of nuisances. We drank, ate nothing but cake. By the end of the evening, I was exhausted."

  The photo was one of Hudson's favorites. He couldn't even remember who'd taken it. The two of them sat together on a bench, Hudson slumped against Alfie, his tuxedo tie undone, hair rumpled, and glasses sitting crooked on his nose. Alfie had his arm around Hudson's shoulders, holding him close as he smiled down at him. The adoration in his blue eyes was unmistakable.