Into the Garden

  "I know, but what if..." Misty began, her eyes rolling as she shifted her feet and moved to the sofa, "we didn't tell anyone?"

  "Huh?" Star said. "Didn't tell anyone what?"

  "About.., her," she said, nodding toward Geraldine's body. "From what Cat's saying, no one will miss her." Star looked at Jade and me before answering Misty. "You mean, keep her death a secret?"

  "Yes, exactly. If no one knows she's dead, Cat doesn't have to be farmed out to foster care, right?"

  "But ... she is dead!" Star exclaimed. "How do you keep that a secret? Prop her up in the window? Misty, you do watch too much television."

  "No, not exactly prop her up. One of us could parade around in her clothes once in a while so the neighbors don't get suspicious. If we need it, maybe we can get a wig that's close to her hair, too. I bet Jade's mother could get one for us."

  "Oh, and what do I tell her? I need a wig to impersonate a dead woman?" Jade asked.

  "No, you can say it's for a play or something. She won't check up on it, will she?"

  "No, but--"

  "Yes, we can do this," Misty said, getting excited. "Listen, just listen for a moment," she insisted. "We don't tell the police and we help Cat. We can all take turns staying here. Why," she said, gazing around, "this house can be headquarters for the OWP's!"

  Star looked at Jade who shook her head. "What about money, stupid?" she asked. Misty looked to me.

  "Geraldine kept all our accounts up-to-date. I know where the books are. I know we have plenty of money in money market accounts, CD's, that sort of thing. She would talk aloud sometimes when she worked," I explained, "lecture me about taking care of your own money yourself. She didn't even use an accountant. She did her own taxes. She said she learned all of it from her father."

  "That's Geraldine, not you," Jade pointed out.

  "No," I said. "I know a lot about it. I know I can copy her signature."

  "Forgery?" Star looked at the others. "How do you know you can do that?"

  "I did it a few times when I was too scared to show her something from school. No one questioned it. I would practice tracing it for hours and hours until I got it right. Many of the people who handle her banking and investments never even saw her," I added, wiping my eyes free of tears. "She would speak to them on the phone or keep in contact with them through the mail. She hated going to their offices. It would mean she would have to tidy herself up and put on what she called a 'going-out' dress and spend money on gas."

  "She doesn't have to spend it now," Star said.

  "Yes, but Cat does. I don't know," Jade said. "What about your school when school starts up again? Won't they be wondering where she is?" she asked quickly.

  I shrugged.

  "She went with me at the start, but never again. They don't call the parents in. They send letters, sometimes make phone calls, but not often. They believe in handling all the problems themselves and not burdening the parents."

  "You see!" Misty cried.

  "I don't know," Jade repeated.

  "What don't you know? It's a good idea, isn't it? Well? Isn't it?" Misty pressured.

  Jade considered. Star watched her and waited. Then Jade turned and looked down at Geraldine.

  "What about... her?"

  "We bury her," Misty said, lifting her arms as if the answer was obvious.

  "Bury her? Us? How? Where?"

  Misty turned to me.

  "What about your backyard?" she suggested.

  "My backyard?"

  "Yeah. Does anyone ever go there?"

  "No, we're walled in and we don't have a gardener anymore. She thought it was an unnecessary expense," I said.

  "Right," Misty said, "so the backyard will be perfect."

  "Perfect? You're going to carry her out and bury her?"

  Jade asked incredulously.

  "Well, not by myself. Star?"

  "I suppose we could do it," Star said, musing. She paused and turned sharply to me. "Do you have a Bible?" she asked me.

  "Yes, right there," I said, pointing to it on the corner table by the sofa. "She read it often."

  "What's a Bible have to do with anything?" Jade asked, her voice rising in pitch.

  "I've been to enough funerals to know what to say. You read a psalm," she added "Did she have a favorite?"

  "I don't think so," I said.

  "You're all crazy," Jade said. "We can't do this We can't just bury her."

  "Why not?" Misty asked.

  "We can if Cat's got a shovel," Star said. "Do you have a shovel?" she asked me.

  "In the garage," I said. "The shovels are kept along the wall, in their proper place."

  "Get a clean bedsheet to use as a shroud," Star ordered.

  'Wait," Jade said before I could move. 'This is against the law, you know. You don't just bury someone without a death certificate."

  "What choice do we have?" Star asked her. "You said yourself they'll send her away. Look at her, Jade. Do you want her to be forced to live with strangers. She had it tough enough as it was living here, didn't she?"

  "Maybe we should talk to Doctor Marlowe," Jade suggested.

  "What? You know as soon as you tell about her," Star said, nodding at Geraldine, "it's over. This is a secret we either all keep in here," she said, putting her right palm over her heart, "until the day we die, or not. Make up your mind now and forever, I say."

  "I swear I'll never tell," Misty quickly agreed. "We can do a bond of blood or something, if you like."

  Jade smirked.

  "We don't need that silly stuff."

  "It's not any sillier than what you did at your house with the candle," Misty countered, offended.

  "We just don't need any ceremony," Jade said. "If we promise, we promise. Let me think a minute. You're moving too fast. This is so crazy." She turned to me. "Are you sure you didn't call anyone else?" she asked me, looking like she hoped I had.

  "No. You were the only one I called. Who else would I call?"

  She nodded. The other two watched her think.

  "You really want to do this?" Jade asked me.

  I looked down at Geraldine. She would be furious, I thought, but then I thought about the freedom and having the girls with me, all of us together, truly the family we coveted for so long.

  "I think so," I said.

  "Good," Misty chimed before I could have second thoughts. "We better get started. There's so much planning to do."

  Star and Jade looked at each other and Star nodded. "Well?" she asked her.

  "Bury her ourselves? I'm wearing a Prada outfit," Jade moaned.

  "So? If you ruin it, you'll buy another," Star replied. "We saw your closet, Jade. You probably have hundreds of outfits you haven't even worn yet anyway."

  "What do we do first?" Jade asked, reluctantly.

  "First we get the shroud and the shovel. I have the Bible here. Then we do the funeral," Star rattled off. She turned to me. "You get the bedsheet. look for the shovel. Any lights out there?"

  "No," I said.

  "We'll need a flashlight."

  "I just put fresh batteries in it," I said.

  Jade raised her eyebrows.

  "Fresh batteries? Wonderful." She studied me a moment. "Are you really all right with this?" she asked me

  I avoided looking down at Geraldine.

  "I don't want to be sent anywhere," I said. "I'm tired of agencies and strangers."

  "She's okay," Misty followed and put her arm around me to squeeze me and comfort me. "Stop driving her crazy."

  "This isn't a game, Misty. I'm not kidding. It's illegal. We could all get into a lot of trouble. It's serious," Jade reaffirmed.

  "I'm being serious," Misty cried.

  "If we're going to do it," Star said, "let's do it or let's just all go home?'

  "No," I said quickly. "Don't go home. I don't know what I'll do. I'll run away. I'll--"

  "All right, all right we'll do it," Jade declared. She took a deep breath and said, "Go get the bedshee
t."

  "I'll help you," Misty said, and followed me out. "You should make yourself a bed downstairs," she suggested as I worked my way up the steps. "At least until your ankle heals."

  "Geraldine never liked the idea of anyone sleeping in the living room. She made me do it the other night but that was her way of punishing me."

  "You're in charge of yourself. She's gone. She won't ever punish you again," Misty declared, almost gleefully.

  I paused and looked down toward the living room. "No, I suppose not, but if she could, she would send me to my room without supper, just for talking about this."

  We continued up. I decided to take one of the bedsheets from her bed, not mine. It seemed more appropriate to do so. When we entered Geraldine's bedroom, Misty gazed around, shaking her head with disapproval.

  "It's so..."

  "What?"

  "Bland," she said. "And what's with that other bed? Why isn't it made?"

  Geraldine's bed was made with the usual perfection, not a crease in the pillow or the spread, but my father's bed was stripped bare.

  "It's where he slept. She wanted to feel he was gone, I guess."

  "That's ugly. She could have left it made up," Misty said.

  Of course, everything was glittering and clean: the dressers and armoire, the tables and the windows. Everything was in its place, not an article of clothing left out, not a drawer so much as slightly open. The window shade was down, the curtain closed.

  "There's nothing to suggest a woman sleeps here," Misty continued as I located the bedsheet in the bathroom closet. "No flowery scent, no daintiness, and that plain white bedding ...It's almost like a hospital room," she added.

  I gazed around, considering what she said.

  "I wasn't in here very often," I said. "She never let me help clean it, and even when I was a little girl, I couldn't come running in here if I had a bad dream. The door was always kept shut."

  "It doesn't look like you missed much," she said. "You know it's strange, I have to keep reminding myself she was really your sister, not your mother?'

  "Me too," I said.

  "I bet. Ready?"

  I nodded and we returned to the living room where Star sat next to Jade on the sofa, talking. She had the shovel in her hand.

  "I'll get the flashlight on our way out," I said. "There's a back door."

  "That's good. I wouldn't want anyone seeing us carrying her out the front:' Jade said. "They would think we murdered her or something"

  "Okay, we have the sheet. What do we do next?" Misty asked Star, who had somehow become the one who knew the most about burying a dead body.

  "Roll her up in the sheet," she replied and stood up. She reached out and I handed the sheet to her. "Move the table out of the way," she ordered. Misty and I did so and she spread the sheet out next to Geraldine.

  Her eyes were still fixed on me, I thought. I couldn't look at her. Star went behind her and looked at us.

  "Let's go," she said. "Roll her over."

  "Ugh," Jade said, but got beside her. With her head turned away, she put her hands on Geraldine's back. Misty moved quickly to join them.

  "Cat, you hold up the sheet on the end and as soon as she's completely on it, hand it over to me. Okay?"

  With my eyes closed, I lifted the sheet and waited. My hands began to tremble. I could hear Geraldine screaming. "What do you think is going to happen now? Huh? tell you. You're all going to get into big trouble, that's what!

  "I told you what would happen if you were friends with these girls. Look what they're getting you to do. Throw them out, now. Go on, tell them to go home."

  They rolled her over and I opened my eyes.

  "The sheet," Star said.

  I handed it to her quickly and she pulled it snugly around Geraldine. Then they rolled her again and Star pulled the sheet tighter once more. Soon, Geraldine was completely covered, even her head.

  "Okay," Star said. "Let's pick her up and carry her out."

  "Lucky she's not too heavy," Misty said as they lifted her.

  "I can't believe I'm doing this," Jade muttered.

  "Get moving, Cat," Star ordered. I led them out, my heart pounding. I quickly located the flashlight and opened the back door. They were right behind me, struggling because Geraldine was so awkward a load.

  "You're dropping your end!" Star snapped at Jade. "Okay, okay," she said. "I'm not exactly used to carrying dead bodies."

  They followed me out.

  "Where?" Jade asked Star.

  "Away from the house," Star said. "Over to the right is best, I think. Shine the beam there, Cat. Yeah, good," she said and we went about ten yards. "Okay, let her down. Damn. I forgot the shovel. Misty, go get it," she ordered.

  "Why me?" she asked, looking back at the now empty house.

  "Look, if you're afraid of going back in there alone, what do you think it's going to be like for Cat? You're the one who wanted to do this so much."

  "Okay, okay. I'm just tired, not frightened," she explained. I knew it was a little lie, but I didn't say anything.

  I looked down at the rolled up body and then around the yard. Fortunately, it was an overcast night. Anyone looking over our way wouldn't see much, I thought.

  Misty must have run through the house. She returned in less than a minute and handed Star the shovel.

  "I'll start," she said, "but we'll all have to do some digging. A grave's got to be deep and wide enough." "I've never dug anything before," Jade complained

  "Like it takes a brain surgeon," Star shot back at her. She pointed the tip of the shovel down and stepped on it to sink it into the lawn. It went in easily and then wouldn't budge.

  "Rock," she said. "The ground's probably full of them."

  "We can't do this," Jade moaned. "We're not laborers."

  "You're right. it will be hard. You might break a fingernail," Star said.

  "Very funny."

  "There's a garden set in the garage, too," I said, remembering. "A small shovel and one of those claws to help get rocks out of the way."

  "Misty?"

  "Oh, no, me again?"

  "Well, we can't send Cat with her crutches and all, can we? All she can do is hold the flashlight."

  "What about Jade?"

  "Where is it?" Jade asked me, sighing deeply.

  "It's on the shelf to the right of the door," I explained. "It's where all the garden tools are kept."

  She shook her head at Misty and started for the house. "Well, we have to share the work," Misty cried. "It's only fair."

  "Fair," Star muttered as she dug. "We're supposed to want to do things for each other and not worry about all that, remember?"

  "I know," Misty said. "Boy, you really know how to dig," she added.

  "Yeah, it's practically all I do these days, dig graves," Star quipped.

  Jade returned with the garden set and Star told Misty to take the small shovel and dig around the big rock she had hit. She told Jade to use the claw and before long, the three of them were working on the grave, ripping up the earth and rocks, Jade

  complaining about how dirty she was getting her outfit and Misty worrying about calluses on her palms Star made fun of them both.

  "It isn't a joking matter. We'll have to come up with something to explain how we look if someone should see us when we get home tonight," Jade said.

  Just then, I felt the first raindrop. Then another and another.

  "Oh no," Misty cried. "It's starting to rain again."

  "Work faster," Star commanded. They did but the rain started to fall faster too. I watched how the rolled bedsheet grew more and more transparent. I thought I could see Geraldine's face clearly outlined in the wet cloth. It was as if she was emerging, pressing her face out so she could glare at me with hate and anger.

  "This is too hard. It's going to take hours and hours!" Jade crabbed. "We shouldn't have started."

  "Yeah, well we did," Star said, "so we have to finish it no matter what."

  "My hair,"
Jade sobbed. "Look at me." She wiped her cheeks with the back of her sleeve and streaked her face with mud.

  "Oh, well," Misty said, "I'll ruin another T-shirt and jeans. Don't laugh. These jeans are expensive?'

  Before long, the rain became a steady drizzle. No one said much. They grumped to themselves and worked. "Isn't it deep enough yet?" Jade pleaded.

  "No," Star said. "You want us to plant her so a foot pops up one day?"

  "Ugh, how gross," Misty moaned. It made her dig faster, pulling out rocks and flinging them to her side.

  I tried to keep the light steady. Sometimes, my hand shook so much, it made the light seem as if it was coming from a defective bulb.

  "Okay," Star said nearly half an hour later, "I think it's deep enough."

  "Thank God," Jade cried. They backed up.

  "Don't forget, we have to cover her back up once she's in there," Star reminded them, "so don't relax too much. Who's got the Bible?" she asked.

  "I'll get it," Misty said, volunteering before she was asked to retrieve it.

  "I don't see why we need to read from the Bible," Jade said. "We're not clergy and it's raining harder."

  "It's only right," Star insisted. "And you're already too wet for it to make any difference."

  The rain began to ease up some, but by now, no one seemed to notice or care. Misty returned with the Bible and Star asked me to bring the flashlight around.

  "Just shine it down here," Star said, flipping through the pages. "Granny and I went to Mary Dobson's funeral last month and the preacher read this at one point," she said holding the Bible up. Then she began, her voice softer, al- most melodic.

  "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: a time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to rend and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love and a time to hate; a time for wan" she read lifting her head, "and a time for peace.