Whore

  LILITH

  Let’s fall headlong into our own tsunami.

  We sleep in the next morning. I wake up smiling, thinking about our night. We didn’t drift off until after four a.m. I ache in all the best ways. Just thinking about him, my chest dips. He’s a dream.

  I hear his voice in the other room. He must be on the phone.

  “I think we’ll stay another day. Maybe two.”

  He chuckles and curses under his breath.

  “You have no idea.”

  “Listen, Zed, I need you to look into something. Right away. Nico Santelli. There’s a history between them.” He clears his throat. “There was a fire. Nico was apparently there that night. Couple days later, Lili’s getting shots fired at her in broad daylight. Then all is quiet and her mom shows up out of the blue and says she has to marry Nico. None of it makes any sense.”

  He pauses and is louder when he responds. “Lilith Fontenot. And very. So you do know her.” He sighs and I cringe.

  I wonder if I’ve slept with Zed.

  “I’ll tell you more when we get back. Can you do this for me? I’ll pay double.” He groans. “No, and I don’t want one either.”

  Quiet.

  “Yeah, understood. And thank you. Okay, man. I’ll keep in touch.”

  I hear him start the shower and eventually fall back to sleep. He’s leaning over my pillow with a note when I open my eyes. I squint then focus on him, leaning up on my elbows.

  “I remembered something about the fire.” My voice is thick with sleep. “Well, I think I did, anyway. I think Kell was there—Bentley’s—”

  I realize my mistake too late and stop talking.

  “Who are Kell and Bentley?” He sits on the bed and I fall back on the pillow.

  “Oh, just a client and his wife. It’s not a big deal.” I gnaw the inside of my cheek, kicking myself for opening my mouth.

  “Where was she?”

  “Across the street. I haven’t thought about it since then, but I keep dreaming about that night. The details were sharper in this one.”

  “And this Bentley? He wasn’t with her?”

  “No.”

  “Do you have a history with her? She knows about you?”

  “The first time I’ve seen her was the day of the fire. I didn’t think she knew about me, but after that day, I’m sure she did.”

  “Come here.” He reaches for me. “We’re gonna figure this out. I’ve already called Zed this morning. I’ll tell him about Kell, too.”

  My arms rest on his shoulders as I tickle his back. “I overheard you with Zed. I don’t want you getting into this, Soti. It’s too dangerous. I’m already nervous about what could happen to you, just by association…” I kiss his shoulder. “Nothing can happen to you. Understand?”

  He pulls my head toward him and kisses the tip of my nose. “I can handle myself. Don’t worry about that. You feel up to breakfast? We could go to that cafe we saw last night. And I want to hear anything else you remember.”

  I tug his hair and get out of bed.

  “God, your skin.” He runs his fingers down my lower back and over one cheek, squeezing. “You make my mind cloudy,” his voice is low. “I wish I were artistic, so I could capture you in this exact moment. Perfection,” he whispers.

  I smile over my shoulder, catching him gawking. “The things you say. I’ll never get used to it.” I lean down and kiss him.

  He wraps my legs around his waist and pulls me on top of him. We get lost in each other for who knows how long.

  “I have no control with you,” he says later. “I need to give you a break. I have good intentions, but when you kiss me like that, nope … lose my mind.”

  “I like it when you lose control. Makes it feel like you mean it.”

  “I promise you I mean it,” he says, kissing me.

  After my shower, he’s watching the waves outside our window as I get dressed. I come up behind him, my wet hair sticking to his shirt as I put my arms around him.

  “You okay?” I ask.

  He stiffens. And then turns to face me while backing us away from the window.

  “Someone’s out there,” he whispers. “Leave everything. Let’s get to the car.”

  I break loose and grab my wedding dress, lying on the chair by the bed. “I’ll leave everything but this,” I say.

  “I’ll buy you another one.”

  “But it wouldn’t be this one,” I whisper.

  He nods, tucking me behind him as we rush into the living room. He curses the floor to ceiling windows that could expose us. We run through the kitchen, down the steps to the garage and get in, breathing hard. He quickly backs into the driveway. A man jumps out and bashes the windshield with a club. Glass rains all over us and the dashboard. I duck and shriek. He swerves and puts his foot to the floor, reversing all the way down the driveway. The guy runs to the front and just as Soti puts the car in drive, the guy fires his first shot. And then another. And another. They ding off the car.

  “You okay?” he yells, zipping around cars going too slow.

  “Yes,” I yell, terrified. “Faster!”

  “You see someone behind us?”

  “Not yet.”

  We speed down the road, ignoring the ocean views and only watching the rear view mirrors. I breathe a little easier when we reach the highway.

  “I think if they’re following, we lost them,” I say.

  I begin picking the shards of glass out of his hands and face.

  “You think they were watching us the whole time?” I ask.

  I pluck a deep shard out of his hand and he flinches.

  “Sorry!” I blow on the cut and throw the glass in the Dr. Pepper can.

  “I didn’t notice anyone following us yesterday. I mean, we were preoccupied, at least I was, but … I think we would have felt something. Maybe not,” he rambles. “Or maybe they’re watching my credit card. I used it for the cottage and at dinner last night.”

  “Maybe.”

  “Did you recognize either one of them?” he asks.

  “No.”

  We’re quiet for a long time, both deep in thought. The road whizzes by us in a blur.

  “I’ve been meaning to ask you—when I picked you up at the police station, who were you running from that day?”

  “Nico has a fleet of black Lincoln town cars. I didn’t see him, but it looked like one of his across the street.”

  “And you saw it the day you were shot, too?”

  “I’m not positive. It was black, but it all happened so fast, and I didn’t wait around to get a better look.”

  He looks in the rear view mirror. “Gamoto! Watch that blue car. Does it seem like it’s gaining on us?” He switches lanes and goes faster.

  “Yes! They’re getting closer!”

  “Gamoto!” he mutters.

  “What are you saying?” I yell.

  “They’re pissing me off!” He yells back, giving me the general idea. “Hang on.”

  I’m surprised his car is hanging in there. Somehow she kicks in and finds her stride.

  “That’s it,” he whispers, patting the steering wheel. “Grab my phone and call Zed. He’s the last person I called.”

  When it’s dialing, I put it on speaker and hold it close to him.

  Zed answers on the second ring. “What’s up?”

  “We have two guys, maybe more, chasing us by car. Not far from Mobile. Is Mitchell still there?”

  “I knew you needed a gun! No, Mitchell’s long gone. Lose them. You think there’s a tracker on the car?”

  “I’m not sure,” he admits.

  “First chance you get, check. Then get to my place and we’ll figure out the next move.”

  He hangs up and looks at me.

  “I haven’t seen them for a few minutes.”

  He blows out a breath. “I’ve done so many things wrong. Why the hell didn’t I bring enough cash to cover everything? This piece of crap car. I need a cigarette, dammit! Of course, I
didn’t pack those in my attempt to impress you. I promised to protect you and managed to lead them straight to you. If it were just me I’d be out of this car so fast, daring them to fight it out, man to man. Fucking coward’s way—hiding behind a gun.”

  He pounds his fist on the steering wheel.

  The miles whiz past. Neither of us speaks. I glance behind us every few seconds then at Soti, like a record needle stuttering over the same phrase.

  “I want to kick their scrawny asses for scaring you,” he yells. “And I want to make the bastards pay for interrupting our honeymoon. Just when we were … gamoto…”

  “Is that their car? Five or six cars back?”

  “I can’t tell for sure,” he says.

  But he knows it is. He presses the pedal as far as it will go and passes a handful of cars.

  It takes forever to get to the Causeway, but I see the end in sight. They’re on the bridge with us, just too far back now to see. Once we finally get off, the streets are familiar. He pulls around the back of a gas station and stops the car.

  “What are you doing?” I’m terrified.

  “I need to make sure we don’t have a tracker on the car.”

  “Hurry,” I plead.

  He checks every possible hiding place and the car is clean. I lean my head back on the seat and close my eyes.

  “All clean.” He shifts to reverse and the car chokes, shakes, and dies. “Skata!” He lets the engine sit for a minute and tries again. Nothing. He shoots off another long string of words I don’t know then reaches over and pulls my wedding dress out of the backseat. “We can get a cab a block over. That’s better anyway.”

  I take his hand when we reach the back of the car and we run toward Saint Charles Avenue. I spot a cab on the corner across the street and we stand with a crowd of people waiting to cross. I recognize the car as it drives slowly through the intersection, both guys searching for our car. We duck behind a group of tourists and walk with them as the car moves further away from us. I drop Soti’s hand and put my arm around his waist, holding onto his belt loop. When we reach the cab, we climb in the back and I turn into his chest, hiding my head in his neck.

  “Camp Street, please,” he tells the driver.

  He wraps his arms around me, holding me close. Our breathing slows, as he slides his hand through my hair and watches the thick strands glide through his fingers. He draws circles on my back with his other hand, and I take huge, gasping breaths of air every few minutes until I calm down.

  “We’re almost there, Lili. Almost there,” he whispers.

  I’ve made a terrible mistake. I should’ve never married Soti … and the first chance I get, I’m leaving.

  In the meantime, I’m like a koala wrapped around him.

  He doesn’t take his eyes off the street, looking for anyone who seems suspicious. Nothing seems out of the ordinary around Zed’s house.

  Soti pays the driver and we hurriedly walk to the door. A guy I would’ve thought was the best looking guy I’d ever seen, until I saw Soti, opens it before we knock. I’m almost positive I’ve never slept with him. When the door is closed behind us, he looks us over, gives as much of a smile as he seems capable of, and pounds Soti on the back. He must be Zed but no one says, and I don’t bother asking.

  He looks me over and nods. Fortunately, I’m not getting any vibes from him that we’ve been intimate. My shoulders relax.

  “Been a long time,” he says, shaking Soti’s shoulder.

  “Too long,” Soti answers. “You’re looking good.”

  He motions for us to sit down. We keep standing and he shrugs and leans against the wall. “You’ve got some serious fuckers on your tail. I haven’t gotten close to the bottom of it yet. Have you?” He looks at Soti for a moment, but then focuses on me.

  I flush but don’t say anything. I want to know what Soti’s thinking. And why hasn’t he introduced us? My face grows warm. He must be embarrassed of me.

  Soti clears his throat. “I wish I knew, Zed.”

  “Don’t know what you’re plannin’, but if I were you, I’d lay low for a while,” Zed says. “You’re welcome here for as long as you need.”

  “Thanks, man. I appreciate it.” Soti looks at me, but I keep my eyes on the floor. “Mind if we take a minute and catch our breath—figure out what we’re gonna do?”

  “Take your time. You’ll have more privacy back here.”

  We walk down a short hallway, into a bedroom. Zed closes the door behind him as he walks out.

  Soti puts his hands on my shoulders, rubbing down my arms. I don’t move. I don’t want him to stop touching me, but I still can’t look at him.

  “Are you breathing any easier from our little car chase?” He pulls me closer. I stiffen and don’t hug him back.

  “Yeah.”

  “Talk to me. Where’s your head right now?” He tilts my chin up.

  “I’m fine.”

  “Doesn’t feel fine,” he says.

  “We don’t have time for this,” I snap, pulling away. “We need to figure out what we’re doing.” I glance at him in time to see his wince.

  He nods. “Okay. My vote is, we stay here for a few days while Zed watches the community center. If anything suspicious happens over there, we either stay put or find another safe place, but if it’s quiet, we sneak back in over there. He has it so secure now, I don’t think anyone can get through, but I want to be sure they’re not trying in the meantime. I’ll run that by him and see what he thinks, but…”

  “Whatever … okay.”

  “Are you upset with me?”

  I turn away. “No.”

  “I don’t believe you. What did I do?” He moves in front of me again. His hand strokes my cheek as he leans his forehead against mine.

  “Just stop,” I cry, pulling away. “We can both stop pretending now.”

  I turn and stalk to the door. He moves behind me and hesitates before putting his hands on my shoulders. I go completely still.

  “Lili?” He breathes. “Talk to me.”

  “You’re ashamed of me,” I whisper.

  “What?” He backs up and turns me around. “Not even a little bit.” He picks up my hands. “What did I do to make you feel that way?”

  “It’s nothing. I know what I know.”

  “No. You’re completely wrong here. I’m in awe of you. And I’m not pretending, Lili. Well, that’s not true. The only pretending I’m doing is acting like I’m calm and not madly in love with you already.”

  I gulp and stare at him.

  “You didn’t even introduce me to Zed, not really. And you left out the dirty little secret of us getting married, even though you’ve been all about it up until we got here,” I say.

  He shakes his head before I finish talking. “No, I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. I want to tell everyone we’re married, especially everyone at the community center. Zed, too. It might take everyone a while to catch up though, right? I promise you I’m exactly where I want to be. I mean, I don’t want guys with guns chasing us, but…”

  I shrug.

  “Stop shrugging. It hurts my feelings,” he says.

  I can’t help but smile.

  He kisses me. I’m reluctant at first, but then my arms go around his waist and I kiss him back until we’re both breathless.

  When we pull apart, he bends to whisper in my ear. “I don’t think you’ve realized yet that I’m in this for keeps. What can I do to prove it? So you’ll believe it—I mean really believe it.”

  A dog barks in the other room and I jump, but my eyes never leave his. I grip his shirt in my fists.

  “I don’t know how I will ever really believe it.”

  “Please tell me you’ll try,” he pleads.

  “There’s no way of knowing who my dad is, and you’ve had a small taste of what my mother is like. She’s given me to every man who has walked through our doors, as long as he paid. Men use me up and I let them. And now someone wants me dead.” My gaze stay
s fixed on a spot just over his shoulder. “We should part ways here, right now, before you get hurt any further.”

  “I’m not leaving you, Lili. I wish I could wander through your mind and heal every single bad memory.”

  “I’m a hazard and a throwaway,” I tell him. “That’s the truth. You’ll realize it eventually. I’m saving you the time by cutting you off here.”

  “I will stay in this room forever if I have to, if it means getting through to you. I’m standing right here, fighting for you. You’re not a throwaway, and I don’t care if you’re a hazard, you’re my wife now. You’re also no one’s property, least of all mine, but I’ve never come close to marrying anyone, and I happily put my ring on your finger.” He shifts, so I can’t look away from him if I tried. “Getting away from Nico might have been your excuse for marrying me, but I didn’t have any excuses, only dreams coming true.”

  I bite the inside of my cheek and try not to smile. Finally, it breaks out and I sputter a laugh. “You say the corniest things.”

  “You are putting my ‘non-existent’ ego through a paper shredder while I’m pouring my heart out.” He pulls me closer. “Do I look like a sap to you? Do not answer that. Hell no. I’m in this!” He nuzzles my neck. “You’ve got me saying sappy skata and meaning it!”

  “Time will tell,” I say.

  “I don’t like that ominous tone in your voice, but yes, time will tell.”

  “What is skata?” I ask.

  He busts out laughing and tries to smooth the deep V in my brows. “I told you Miss Jez has me trained—even when she’s not around, I’m trying to keep the dirty words in Greek to avoid her taking a strap to me. And you still think I have a sailor mouth. Here I thought I was doing so well. You’re too observant, Mrs. Christos.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  LILITH

  Hand me your candy-coated heart.

  Zed knocks on the door an hour later. Soti and I stretched out on the bed after we talked and I fell asleep with my head on his chest. I fade in and out of sleep to his hands playing with my hair, and I will away thoughts of losing him.

  He lifts my leg off of his and shifts a pillow under my head. I pull the pillow tighter and try to keep sleeping. I’m not ready to face any of this. But sleep evades me without my human pillow.