Whore

  Later that night when JT comes over for the Cap’n, he’s flying high.

  “Stella is into you. How do you rate, getting all the babes?” He laughs and if I didn’t love him, I’d hit him. In fact, I might hit him anyway.

  “It’s the hair.” I pull my hair out of the bun and shake it, making JT groan.

  “No, it’s not the hair, trust me. You need to cut that shit, by the way. You look like a walking dirty mop with that mess.”

  “I’m clean!” I put my armpit in his face to prove it.

  JT backs up and scowls at me. “It’s all the brooding—makes women want to be the one to finally open you up, expose all the angst you’re holding so close to the chest. Angst does look pretty good on you—Maria even says so—but I’m ready for the happy-go-lucky Soti to come back.”

  “I’ll see what I can do,” I tell him. He reaches over and hugs me, and in that moment I know how worried he really is for me.

  “She was crazy to leave you,” he says. “Just so you know. Crazy. You’re the best man I know.”

  “I’m sure she had her reasons.” I’m unable to place blame on her, regardless of how she left. I’ve tried.

  “Even so, I have to say it.” He holds up his hand. “There are the good guys,” he raises his hand higher, “and then there’s you.”

  “You know that saying about good guys finishing last? I think that might apply here.”

  “Finishing last could mean you’re the one they come around to in the end.”

  I wish I had his optimism. “That’s one way to look at it. If that’s true, do you think Lili’s coming back?”

  “I think she’ll regret her decision to leave you, yes. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if she came back. That doesn’t mean you should wait for her, though. You know I loved Lili,” he says. “But she’s moved on and so should you.”

  “I’ll get there,” I tell him and I hope that I’m right. It feels like an exercise in rhetoric for now.

  Stella texts me later that night.

  We’re good together, I know it, Soti. As friends and otherwise.

  I wish I could take it as it is, a sweet message from a beautiful woman, but I can’t help but think of Lili. God, I miss her.

  THE UPRISING

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  LILITH

  Most justices will never be served in one lifetime.

  I’m both wishful and terrified that someone will drive by and see me out here running. I really, really, really want to sit down and be driven away from here, but it would probably be someone evil that picked me up. I don’t seem to have the best luck. It’s dark and there are very few streetlights. I don’t know where I am, but every step away from that house strengthens me. I can’t go back there. I pray for the strength to keep moving. I’ve run at a snail’s pace for what feels like an eternity but is probably only about fifteen minutes. Any lies I’ve been telling myself about being somewhat in shape are mocking me now.

  Finally, I see a house. The lights are on and there are pretty flowers out front, making it look inviting. I want to kiss the ground, I’m so relieved.

  There’s a sharp pain in my side and I bend over, catching my breath. When I stand back up, I see a cat rubbing against the front door. It reassures me further that an animal lover lives here.

  I walk to the door, rubbing my lower back on the right side. I feel old and tired. And dusty. I feel dusty.

  “I’m sorry for jostling you all that way, baby girl,” I whisper as I ring the doorbell.

  It takes a minute, but finally I hear someone unlocking the door. A woman a little older than me cracks open the door.

  “Yes?” she asks.

  I take a deep breath and my exhale sounds long and shaky when I let it out. “I’m sorry, I know it’s getting late, but I was wondering if I could use your phone. I need to … call a tow truck.” The lie comes out before I can think it through.

  She looks at my swollen stomach and opens her door wider. “Come in. I’ll get the phone for you. Would you like something to drink?” she asks.

  “That would be wonderful. Thank you.”

  “Have a seat. I’ll grab the phone and get you some water.” She holds her right shoulder up a little, motioning toward the kitchen, and I notice she’s missing most of her right arm.

  I sink into the chair, thanking heaven and earth and the stars that I found a nice place to stop with a woman instead of a man. Across the room, I see a phone. As much as it hurts to get back up, I rush to it and dial 911. When they answer, I start to cry and the words start gushing out of me.

  “This is Lilith Chr-Fontenot and I’ve been held prisoner for nearly a year by Nico Santelli. I just escaped.”

  “Can you tell me where you are, Miss?”

  “I’m not sure. I’m at a house maybe a mile from where I’ve been kept. We took a boat the last time we went into the city, but I was blindfolded, so I couldn’t tell where…” The line goes dead.

  I look at the phone. No power. The girl walks back in the room. She smiles and holds out the glass of water.

  I stand and move toward the door. “I’ve got help coming soon. I just need to meet them at the car.”

  I’ve nearly reached the door when she giggles. The sound makes me break into a sweat. That feeling of trying to run underwater washes over me, like I could move but I wouldn’t get very far no matter how hard I tried. The door opens and Nico walks in, two guards rushing in behind him.

  “Thanks, Coco.” He tosses a large handful of bills toward the girl and she catches it easily with her left hand. When she sees me watching, she blows her black bangs out of her eyes and smirks at me. I lean over and throw up on her living room floor.

  I hear her cussing as I’m carried out. One of the guards is holding me because I’m too heavy for Nico to lift now. Wuss. I laugh at myself, but I’m shaking so hard it comes out as a yelp. Just as quickly, I flip-flop and weep.

  A guard blindfolds me and then shoves me into a car. We speed away. Nico’s hands wrap around my throat. He’s livid, and this time I’m truly afraid.

  “I’m so disappointed in you, Lilith. You really thought you’d get away from me?” He snorts. “I told you. I have eyes everywhere. You underestimate me.”

  “Louise wouldn’t let me go outside.” It’s not why I jabbed her in the neck, but I keep that to myself.

  “Oh and that’s why you were at the neighbor’s house? Because you wanted to go outside? Don’t play me for a fool, Lilith. Who did you call?”

  I feel a blade on my thigh and cry out when he stabs my leg with it. For a moment, I think I’m going to pass out.

  “Tell me who you called. Was it Soti?”

  “No, I tried a couple of the girls, but I didn’t get anyone, I swear I didn’t.”

  The car stops and I’m carried back inside. I recognize the smell and start kicking. “No, don’t put me back here. Nico, please.” The mask comes off, and I’m back in the first tiny, dank room. I sob so hard I throw up again.

  “Shut up, puttana,” he yells and slaps me when I don’t.

  “Please don’t leave me here,” I cry. “I won’t do it again. I promise you I won’t. I’m going crazy being inside all the time. Louise doesn’t talk to me. It’s awful when you’re away...”

  He pushes me onto the bed and holds both my wrists, motioning for the guard to tie one side while he ties up the other. He wraps cloth around the gash on my leg and pulls it taut. I barely hold back a scream.

  “Because of your little phone call, you won’t be here very long. You killed one of my men and only time will tell if Louise and Cal make it. You’ll pay for that.”

  I look at him with terror and shake my head. “I wasn’t trying to kill anyone. I just needed to get out for a little while…”

  “You need to calm down. If you hurt my baby, there will be no mercy for you. No mercy. Beyond giving me a healthy child, you are nothing. Are we clear?”

  I choke back the sobs and my hiccups echo through the b
are room. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry, Nico.”

  “I’ll make sure you prove it.” He backs up.

  “No, please don’t go…”

  He turns off the light, leaving me in pitch black.

  I hear the lock on the door click and I yell until I lose my voice. My arms ache, not being able to wrap them around my stomach. I cry for my baby girl. I’ve failed her.

  The next morning a guard I don’t recognize brings food. He puts the bowl of oatmeal on my chest and laughs as he watches me try to eat it with my hands tied. I’m weak from crying and losing so much blood, and I’m so hungry I don’t have the energy to pay attention to him. I barely slept, thinking about what I should have done differently. I can’t help but hope that the short amount of time on the 911 call was enough to trace the general area of where I am. I should have made a fail-safe plan before I left. I shouldn’t have trusted anyone. Next time I have to do better, because now I think he’s going to kill me once I have the baby.

  Days pass. I’m not sleeping. My mind won’t stop. I can’t keep track of time, without the light and strips of toilet paper. The more time I lay here trapped, the more unhinged I feel.

  The ropes came off my wrists earlier this morning, and right after, Dr. Bryson arrives to examine me. I can tell by the look on his face that the room and my appearance shock him. I wonder if my ropes are only off long enough for him to see me and then they’ll go back on as soon as he leaves.

  He asks if I’m eating enough, how I’m feeling. I ignore him. He glances down and sees the bloody cloth around my thigh.

  “What happened here?”

  “Stabbed.”

  He looks surprised but doesn’t respond. I turn away from him and hear him rustling around in his bag, but I can’t look at him anymore.

  “It’s too late for stitches, but I’ll put this on it, see if it helps heal faster.”

  “How do you sleep at night, Dr. Bryson?” I look in his face and he avoids my eyes. “Answer me. Are you even really a doctor? How do you live with yourself, knowing you’re helping keep a pregnant woman prisoner…” His skin flushes. “I hope you slip soon and get…” I put my finger across my throat in a slashing motion. “I’ll be waiting and watching.” His eyes bulge, either from what I’ve said or when he notices my bloody wrists.

  His hands tremble when he puts salve on my wrists. When he’s done, he gathers his things and leaves without another word. I add him to my list of people who will pay for what they’ve done.

  I’ve just dozed off and wake up startled, gasping for air. Someone is in the room with me. Once I recognize Nico’s scent, I try to calm my breathing. The baby gives me a swift kick in the side. Nico puts his hand over my mouth and then wraps a cloth over it, tying it tightly in the back.

  I feel his breath before I hear him. His mouth is on my ear. “Don’t make a sound. Do you hear me, Lilith? Promise me you won’t and I’ll get you out of here.” His voice is different, urgent.

  I nod and he leaves the room, completely silent himself. In the distance I hear shouts and gunfire—and something else—a loud motor of some kind? I hear footsteps above me, but all noise is still too far away to tell what’s really happening.

  My heart goes into triple time. I lean up in the bed. It’s too dark to see anything, so I just listen. Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm.

  There are more gunshots and then it’s quiet. I haven’t made any noise and I won’t, I can’t, but I need this thing off my mouth. My nose is stopped up and I can’t breathe.

  Later, when I’m still waiting, alone, I agonize over the fact that I didn’t scream. Even if it was one of Nico’s enemies coming to kill me, I would’ve been better off than alone in this dungeon. Seeing someone, anyone, means a chance of escape.

  I get a sharp cramp and fall to my knees by the water, breathing through the pain. When it passes, I stand up and shakily walk around the edge of the water, until I end up where I started. I nearly fall back into the sand. I sob until there is nothing left. When my breaths sound like hiccuping gasps, a cold stillness comes over me. I look out at the black water, contemplating walking into it and never walking out. I stare at it until I feel peace. Taking a small step forward, the baby gives me a sudden kick and then my whole belly shifts as she turns. I pause, the moment broken.

  Wiping my face and taking another gulp of the fresh air, I turn and walk toward the house. I quietly open the door from the deck and come face-to-face with Cal.

  “I needed some air,” I tell him, not trying to stop him from yanking me down the hall and to my room.

  Louise is on the floor when Cal leads me inside. He doesn’t pay much attention to her, his focus is on holding the gun to my back as he guides me to the bed. Once we’re there, he pushes me and I fall forward, doing a stomach-plant on the mattress.

  “Move an inch before I’m out of this room and I’ll shoot. I dare ya. It’d be much more fun than waiting for Nico to deal with you.”

  I deserve that after what I did to him, I think. The gun leaves my back and I take a deep breath. When the door closes, I turn on my left side and curl up as small as I can get.

  The cramping picks up later and doesn’t stop. When I have a break between contractions, I get up and pound on the door for Cal to come back. He ignores me, so I start yelling for him to call Nico.

  I jerk and wake up disoriented, moaning. My arms are still tied. Oh God, how loud was I? No, you’re dreaming. I don’t know what’s real. I thought … no, it was all a dream. I’m still stuck in here, helpless. My mind is playing tricks on me. I haven’t seen Louise and Cal since I hurt them … I wonder if they’re really dead. I doze again. My stomach contracts and I hear a muffled cry that must be me. I turn to my shoulder and try pushing the cloth off of my mouth.

  My stomach eases for only a few minutes before it tightens again.

  It’s too soon. The baby shouldn’t come yet.

  I don’t think about the repercussions, I yell as loud as I can.

  Nothing happens. I keep yelling. I don’t even hear footsteps.

  No one comes. Total quiet.

  The contractions are getting closer together, and I try yelling again. I’ve rubbed my chin raw trying to scrape the cloth off my mouth, but I keep working it, stopping only to breathe through the contractions. When it comes free, I cry and yell louder. Now if I can get my arms free. Nico knew this would be extreme torture for me. Ever since I found out I was pregnant I’ve had my hands on my stomach, talking to her, comforting her, letting her know not everyone is as evil as the world we’re sometimes surrounded by. Goodness can still be found out there. I’m determined to show her that, even if I have to die trying.

  The day or night drags on, and it’s a long time before I finally get a hand free. Once that’s loose, I hurriedly work on the other side. When it comes off, I laugh out loud, no longer afraid of the noise I might make. I get up and bang on the door until a contraction starts. Then I hobble back to the bed and cry my way through it.

  “Where is everyone?” I say out loud. My voice sounds hollow. Raspy and weak. I need to save my strength. “It’s up to me … ahhhhhh,” I groan. The pains are getting stronger. “Baby girl, you can’t come yet,” I keep saying over and over.

  She’s already not listening to me.

  I look around the room—there’s nothing to work with, not even towels. All I can do is wait this out. Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm.

  Time seems to slide to a standstill. I slip in and out of moments of rest, so brief, yet each time I jerk awake I’m confused once again of where I am, what’s happening to me. I sit up and try to find a comfortable position and my water breaks. After that, my stomach is ripped apart. She’s on her way whether I’m ready or not. I panic and give up being calm, thrashing around on the bed through the contractions, trying to find a way, any way, to get through it.

  My eyes roll back in my head. I want to give up, but I imagine my little girl. She’s sitting in the sand by the ocean. Her eyes ar
e the shape of Nico’s, but they’re blue like mine. The water nudges her feet and she laughs, smiling at me as if we’re in on a secret together.

  I want to know her.

  I imagine him.

  So-ti. So-ti. So-ti.

  Every heartbeat his name.

  The pressure, so much pressure. I save up strength for a few moments and then push again. My eyes blur. When the pain lifts momentarily, I think I’m imagining it when I hear something.

  “Hello? Help.” Barely a sound comes out. “Please … find me.”

  And then a bright light blinds me when the door is shoved open. I see him walking through the door. I cry harder. Save me from this hell. He takes my hand and my heart lulls into a second of peace. Several other men fill the room.

  “Soti, how did you find me?” I whisper.

  “Don’t worry, ma’am. I’m David. I’ll get you the help you need,” he says. “Do you want me to try and reach—what was the name—Soti?”

  I squint and see a badge. I grab his arm.

  “Save my baby,” I rush out before another contraction. The pain is consuming and the edges of my vision keep going grey. So tired.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  LILITH

  Sunlight, stroke my face once more.

  Warm me with your light.

  I come to and it sounds like I’m in a helicopter. Without the ear plugs it would be deafening. My body vibrates. Oxygen is strapped over my face and an IV is in my arm. I look around hoping I’ll see him. Kind eyes study me but they’re not his. I think I imagined his voice.

  “We’re almost there,” the man yells.

  I gasp and shut my eyes. All my focus goes toward pushing. We land and I’m wheeled out. I want to be aware of my surroundings, but this baby is making it hard to think of anything else. I feel someone by my feet, pushing my legs wider.