Sacred Silence: A Grey Wolves Series Novella
Five minutes later, there was a knock on the bathroom door.
“Jen, you okay in there?” Jacque asked.
“I’m totally great. Just listening to my jam and having my soul sucked from my breasts. Never. Been. Better.”
Chapter Two
“Never underestimate the power of postpartum hormones. It just might be the last thing you do.”
~ Jen
“Her jam?” Jacque asked, turning to look at Decebel. “She does realize there is no music playing, right?”
Decebel ran a hand over his face as his shoulders slumped forward. “I don’t know what she realizes. She’s upset, tired, and angry about leaking.”
Sally covered her mouth to keep from laughing. “I know I shouldn’t find that funny. At all. But Decebel talking about his mate leaking is freaking hilarious.”
“You’re right. You suck as a friend,” Jacque deadpanned.
“Hey! You compared her to a mother hen on crack,” Sally argued.
Jacque nodded. “You do have a point. But we can’t both be sucky friends. It throws off the balance.”
“Well, then why can’t you be the sucky friend and I’ll be the good friend?”
“Because—”
“Are you two quite done?” Decebel interrupted. He didn’t want to be rude to his mate’s friends, but his patience was almost gone, and he was fast approaching the point of no return.
“That depends,” Jacque said glancing at him. “Are we annoying you?”
“I don’t think I’ll answer that question,” he replied. “I know I’m screwed no matter what I say.”
Both girls grinned at him. “You’re learning,” they said at the same time.
“Then I plead the fifth. But could you please not annoy her?” He pointed to the bathroom door. “I’m at a loss as to what to do. Oh.” He held up his hand as if to stop them from moving forward. “Just so you know,” he said, “she doesn’t know that I called you all last night when she was having one of her moments.”
“You mean when she was screaming about losing her perfect rack?” Sally whispered, fighting a smile.
“Yes, that’s exactly what I mean. So could we please just keep that to ourselves?” He narrowed his eyes at them. He lamented the fact that he could no longer intimidate the two young women as he once did. Now they knew no male pack member could ever harm them in any way. But he still added a growl for emphasis.
“We won’t tell her,” Jacque promised. She patted his shoulder. “Never fear, fur ball, we totally got this.” Jacque opened the door and stepped in. “Mother of pearl! What in the seven hells are you doing to your perfect boobs?” She yelled at Jen. Jacque then promptly stepped back and reclosed the door. She looked from him to Sally and then back to him.
“Do you know what’s going on in there?” Jacque asked him.
He nodded.
“A little warning next time, B. That can’t be good for, well, anyone, really. I mean, did she read the instructions? Is she in any danger of that thing sucking them right off?”
“God, I hope not,” Decebel muttered under his breath.
“What is it?” Sally asked. All traces of amusement were gone from her face.
“She’s using her breast pump,” Decebel told her. “She’s been having problems with Thia latching on, and she’s uncomfortable.”
“I’m pretty sure slapping on a torture device guised as a so-called breast pump isn’t any less painful,” Jacque pointed out.
The door to the bathroom opened, and Jen nearly ran into Jacque.
“Why are you standing so close to the door?” Jen asked.
“I was trying to decide if I needed to rescue you,” her friend responded.
Jen ignored her and looked over at Decebel. She held out a small cooler. “Mission accomplished. Could you put these in the fridge?”
The miniature kitchen in their suite had a small refrigerator, which kept them from having to go to the mansion’s main kitchen every time they needed milk for a bottle. But they hadn’t really utilized the bottles just yet. Jen had been trying to nurse since they’d returned home. She said she’d read that a new mother shouldn’t use a bottle or pacifier for several weeks to avoid ‘nipple confusion.’ When she’d explained this to Decebel, he’d responded, “Even an idiot couldn’t confuse an imitation nipple for the real deal.” In hindsight, however, he knew he should have simply nodded and left it at that. After his comment, she’d offered him a bottle nipple, pacifier, and blindfold. He’d only grinned, of course. But the grin was quickly wiped from his face when she’d added, “Hope you learn to enjoy those as much as the real deal, fur butt, because you just got boob blocked.”
“What the… What did I say?” He growled.
“You compared our daughter to an idiot, you testosterone-filled, walking hair ball.”
Needless to say, the conversation had only gone downhill from there. There was no reasoning with the woman. He’d finally concluded that, in order to keep Jennifer from beating him with the breast pump, he’d have to keep his mouth shut.
Decebel took the cooler and walked over to the fridge while listening to the girls talk. He’d called Jacque and asked her to come over. He felt like a failure, having to call on someone else to help his mate, but he was in unknown territory, like navigating a field of landmines, unsure when one wrong step or word would cause an explosion.
The three women gathered in the small sitting area and all began to speak at once. The conversation was a convoluted mess. But Decebel was no longer surprised that each one heard and understood the others perfectly during the cacophony. He leaned against the wall closest to Thia’s bassinet and crossed his arms over his chest. Normally, he’d flee from the room when the three troublemakers were together, but his damn wolf wouldn’t let him stray too far from his vulnerable mate. And Decebel understood the beast. The man was trying not to smother her, but in their current state, especially having a brand-new pup, his wolf was mostly in control, and it commanded he stay. There was nothing the man could do to change his mind.
He saw Thia stirring out of the corner of his eye and walked over to pick her up. Letting a soothing rumble roll through his chest as he pressed her close to him, he walked to the other side of the suite and sat in a rocking chair. He remembered when the thing had been delivered. He’d taken one look at it and seriously doubted it would support his weight. But to his surprise, it didn’t even creak when he sat.
Thia’s eyes blinked open, and he made sure to hold her up high on his chest. He’d read in one of those books his mate now hated that a newborn’s eyesight was very poor, and they could only really see from the distance between the chest and face. But he didn’t know if that held true for a Canis lupus. For all he knew, she could see much better than a human child. But he had no way to know for sure, and he wanted to be sure that Thia could see him clearly, that she knew she was safe and not just floating through the air. He pressed his nose gently to her tiny neck and breathed deeply before blowing his breath out on her. She smelled so clean and, though the man enjoyed the scent, the wolf wanted their pup covered in their smell. Our blood runs through her veins, Decebel reminded the beast.
She will learn our scent faster if we scent mark her. His wolf challenged. The wolf was right. Yes, he was as possessive and protective of his child as he was his fiery mate. For a brief moment, very brief, he felt bad for Thia because Decebel knew he’d have no patience for mangy males when they came sniffing around as his daughter grew older. But then he remembered his sister, and the momentary sympathy was gone.
“I will keep you safe, little one,” he said softly. “You will no doubt drive me crazy, but you will never wonder if you’re loved or cherished. Try and remember that when I beat your suitors to a bloody mess.”
Thia blinked up at him, no real expression on her face. She was just sort of there. But Decebel could tell the girl knew Jen and he were different from others that held her. She quieted with them and seemed to pay more attention
when either of them spoke to her. But she was brand new and still developing, so there were few cute smiles or cooing sounds. In his eyes, she was adorable just the same.
“I’ve no doubt formula can provide nutrients for Thia.” Decebel heard his mate’s voice rising as she spoke with her two best friends.
“Then why don’t you cut yourself some slack?” Jacque asked. “You won’t be considered a failure if you don’t breastfeed.”
“You haven’t turned into one of those moms who judges everyone who doesn’t breastfeed as some inhumane lunatic who doesn’t care for their child, have you?” Sally asked.
Decebel squeezed his eyes closed. “Shouldn’t have gone there, healer,” he muttered, knowing what was coming.
“I am not a boob snob,” Jen snarled. “And you can’t pretend to understand what it feels like to want to have this experience with the child that was with you nonstop for nine months and is suddenly not really with you anymore, not like she was during the pregnancy. It’s like cooking a Christmas feast, so excited to feed everyone, knowing they will enjoy it so much, and then the food comes out all burnt, and all that’s left is bologna sandwiches on the heel end of the bread.”
“Hold up,” Jacque said. “Just to be clear, the breastfeeding is the Christmas feast and the formula is the bologna sandwich?”
“On the heel end of the bread,” Jen added with a huff.
“Because it kind of sounded like the baby was the burnt feast…” added Sally.
“Yeah, I’m not sure the metaphor applies,” continued Jacque.
Jen growled in frustration. “Just go with it,” she said.
Decebel chuckled as softly as he could, not wanting to draw his mate’s attention. “Your mother has a way of describing things that is a bit … unorthodox. If you inherit it, I’m sunk,” he said to his wide-eyed daughter. The girl’s head turned slightly at the sound of Jen’s, voice and Dec saw the beginnings of a hangry cry coming on. He wasn’t sure if he should resort to the bottle and the breast milk Jen had pumped or hand Thia over to the girl’s tired, frustrated mother. If he resorted to the bottle, Jen might freak because of the nipple confusion stuff and turn her fury on him. But if he handed Thia over, then Jen might feel overwhelmed and start crying again. Fury or tears? It was a lose/lose situation.
After thinking about it for a few moments, he made his choice. He’d much rather deal with Jen’s sharp tongue than be heartbroken over her sorrow. Just as he was heading for the fridge, a loud wail exploded from the baby. It broke through the girls’ conversation, and everything went quiet. Everything except Thia, that is. How could something so small scream like that?
Jen intercepted him before he could make it to the fridge and snatched the girl from his arms. Decebel watched his mate’s face for any signs she might join her own tears with Thia’s. Her mouth was pulled in a straight line across her face, and her eyes were hard with the determination he’d always admired in her.
“You good?” he asked her, cupping her cheek in his hand.
“It’s either laugh or cry at this point, B, and I’m sick of crying.” She walked over to the rocking chair he’d abandoned and sat down. Without any hesitation, despite the presence of Jacque and Sally, she pulled out her left breast and pressed the girl’s face to her nipple. The effect was not immediate. Thia groped blindly, fussing when she couldn’t get the nourishment she needed. In an attempt to get the girl to latch, Jen began performing the techniques she’d read about in her breastfeeding books.
Decebel’s jaw clenched as he watched his mate cry silent tears as Thia latched, released, bit, suckled, wailed, and re-latched. Thia eventually calmed slightly, so she must have been getting something, but it was causing Jen considerable pain. Decebel could feel his mate’s discomfort through their bond.
Jacque walked over to him and placed a hand on his arm. He didn’t jerk his arm away, but he shifted so she wasn’t touching him. He knew it was a completely innocent touch, and one he wouldn’t normally shy away from, but his wolf was agitated. It only wanted the feel of his mate’s skin on his own.
“I know this is what she wants to do,” said Jacque, “and when Jen decides she’s going to do something, nothing short of the end of the world will stop her.” She paused and let out a resigned sigh. “I’m going to talk to Peri.”
Decebel’s eyes briefly left his mate to look at Fane’s female. “What exactly are you going to ask her to do?”
Looking as serious as he’d ever seen her, she said in a cool voice, “I’m going to have her kidnap a lactation specialist.”
“National Treasure 2,” Sally whispered yelled as she leaned close to them and high-fived Jacque.
He rolled his eyes. The three women had a thing about movie quotes and references, and they could pull them out of their butts at the weirdest times.
“I’m going to take a guess that this is a woman, and it had better be a woman, who knows a lot about breastfeeding,” he said.
Jacque nodded. “Peri can just use her mojo to make the woman chill and help Jen and then make her forget. What’s the point in having a high fae at your disposal if not for stealing lactation specialists?”
“I don’t even know what to say to that,” he muttered. “If it will help her, I don’t care what you do. I just can’t stand to see her like this.” He motioned with his chin toward the woman he couldn’t live without.
“We totally got this, Dec. Just try not to say anything stupid between now and when we get back. She’d be ticked off if she marred your handsomeness in a hormone-induced rage.”
He smirked. “I always knew she only kept me around for my looks.”
Sally leaned in again and began to whisper. “I don’t think that’s the only reason. she does talk about you being hun—”
Jacque slapped a hand over Sally’s mouth. “And that’s our cue to leave. We’ll be back.”
He watched Jacque pull Sally out of the room, all the while asking her when she’d lost her damn mind and yelling at her to quit using her inner Jen around other males.
With the girls gone and no other distractions, Decebel didn’t know what to do with himself. He felt sort of what Jen would call pervy, standing over his mate watching her feed their baby, but he didn’t want to walk out. She might think he was leaving her to handle this struggle all alone. He began pacing without even realizing he was doing it. Like a caged wolf, he walked from one end of the suite to the other, his eyes shifting to their mate every few seconds, watching, waiting. Waiting for what? he asked his wolf.
A good hunter is patient, the wolf responded.
We’re hunting our mate?
He felt his wolf rumble his agreement.
Why, exactly?
Hunting like play, his wolf answered and gave Decebel the memory of him and Jen running as wolves together, playing like pups.
She’s not able to phase and run or even stay in human form and run, the man reminded his wolf.
Then play the human way.
Decebel thought about his beast’s suggestion as he watched his mate fix her shirt and carry their now-sleeping babe to her bed. Once she’d laid Thia down, she turned those big blue eyes on him. His heart stuttered in his chest as he stared back at her. Holy hell, she still took his breath away.
Chapter Three
“If I had known that I would be involved in so many she-wolf boob issues, I might have totally reconsidered the task the Great Luna had given me.” ~Peri
“You want me to what?” Peri asked as she stood in the library of the Serbia pack mansion after receiving an “urgent” call from Jacque.
“Simple,” Sally replied. “Kidnap a breastfeeding specialist, work your mind mojo so Jen can get the help she needs, and then put the woman back where you got her.” Even though Jacque had just said the same thing three times, Peri still looked confused when Sally tried to explain their idea.
“You both realize that when I gave you that phone and said use it to call me if there’s an emergency, I meant a real
emergency, right?” Peri asked.
“If you had seen what that breast pump was doing to Jen’s girls, you’d understand that this definitely falls under the real emergency category,” Jacque assured her.
Peri groaned. “My life was so normal before you three came along.”
“Woman, please.” Sally laughed. “Your life has never been normal, so quit tripping.”
Jacque glanced at Sally. “Tripping?”
Sally shrugged. “I’m feeling my inner gangsta. You told me to quit feeling my inner Jen. Problem solved.”
“Now you’re just talking gibberish.” Peri waved Sally off. “How are we to find this woman breast expert?”
Jacque gasped and used her best southern bell accent. “Oh, you wouldn’t believe it, but they have this thing called the in-ter-net. Honey, it’s just the best thing since soft butter.”
“Can I hit her? Is that allowed in the whole friendship deal?” Peri asked Sally.
“Allowed, but frowned upon unless completely necessary,” Sally said.
Jacque was already ignoring them, staring, instead, at her phone as she looked up the info she needed. She soon found the name and picture of several their lactation specialists. This particular hospital had a specialist on hand twenty-four hours a day. “Boom,” Jacque said, finally looking up from her phone. “Found our boob chick. Let’s do this.”
Peri sighed as she took both their hands. “Where am I taking us?”
“New York City, specifically New York Episcopalian/Upper Manhattan Hospital,” Jacque answered.
“We get in, we get our girl, and then we get out,” Peri said, giving them both stern looks. “No funny business.”
“Pft.” Jacque huffed. “Like we would ever engage in any business, funny or otherwise.”