Fast Women

  “I swear,” Nell said, walking faster, “you’re looking at a life of hamburger and no yelling.” She held the dachshund closer, and it sighed this time and put its head on her arm, and she stopped to look down into its eyes. “Hello,” she said, and SugarPie stared back, pathetic and wide-eyed in the glow from the streetlight, her eyelashes fluttering like a Southern belle confronted by a Yankee. “I swear to you, everything is going to be all right.”

  A car pulled up beside her and she leaped in fear, starting SugarPie’s shudder reflex again, but it was only Riley. She climbed in the backseat next to Suze, and Riley said, “Oh, good, you got the dog,” with no enthusiasm whatsoever and drove them away from the scene of the crime.

  “You were great,” she told Suze as she put the dog on the seat.

  “No, she was not,” Riley said, watching them in the rearview. “She actually talked to this guy, and when he files the police report, he’s going to describe her, assuming he ever looked at her face.”

  Suze tugged up on her tank top but it didn’t do much good.

  “Maybe he won’t realize she was in on it,” Margie said. “Maybe he’ll never know.”

  “He’ll know,” Riley said. “And he’ll remember her.”

  “There are a lot of thirtysomething blondes in this city,” Suze said.

  “Not like you,” Riley said. “You stick in a man’s mind.”

  SugarPie sat on the seat between them, shaking like a maraca.

  “Could you knock it off?” Nell said. “You’re scaring the dog.”

  “I can relate,” Riley said. “You scare the hell out of me, too. From now on, you dognap alone.”

  * * *

  Gabe had already left for his first appointment when Nell arrived the next morning at nine-thirty, ready with an explanation for her lateness that didn’t involve taking SugarPie over to Suze’s and then explaining things to an angry Jack. That was just like Gabe. She’d gone to all the trouble of constructing a good explanation and then he wasn’t there to appreciate it.

  “How’s the dog?” Riley said when he came out for his coffee, and Nell said, “Suze has her,” and dialed SugarPie’s mother to tell her the good news.

  “I can’t take that dog,” Deborah Farnsworth said when Nell had explained the situation. “I think it’s marvelous that you got her, but I can’t take her. This is the first place he’d look.”

  “But she’s your dog,” Nell said, feeling the cold clutch of panic in her stomach. “Don’t you—”

  “To tell you the truth, I don’t like her much,” Deborah said. “She was a cute puppy, but then she grew up and got sneaky, and frankly, I’m just not a dog person. My husband was the one who wanted her.”

  Nell clenched her jaw. “Then why—”

  “Because he was yelling at her,” Deborah said, her voice righteous. “And also, I didn’t want the son of a bitch to have her. How much do I owe you?”

  “Nothing,” Nell said, facing ruin.

  She hung up and thought, I stole a dachshund for nothing. Another grand gesture shot to hell. Plus now she had a dog to cope with. She tried to comfort herself with the thought that at least SugarPie was unabused now, depending on what Suze was doing to her, but the fact remained, she had a hot dog on her hands. Maybe she could give it away. To somebody in another state.

  She went back to work, trying to keep her mind off SugarPie, only surfacing two hours later when the phone rang. It was the cleaners, confirming that they’d be in the following Wednesday since they’d gotten payment for the previous two months. “Thank you,” Nell said and apologized again. “Administrative mix-up.”

  She hung up and thought, Lynnie. Lynnie and Deborah and Farnsworth-the-dog-kicker and Tim … the world was full of selfish people lying and cheating and getting away with murder and letting other people clean up after them. And everything she’d done to make things right had left her with nothing but some vague guilt over vandalism, a slight glow after irresponsible sex, and a traumatized dachshund she didn’t want.

  If she went after Lynnie, at least she’d get the money back. She’d have something concrete to show people, to show Gabe. She’d be doing something useful again, something professional, something that was part of managing a business.

  After some thought, she put the answering machine on and went out to visit her predecessor.

  Chapter Six

  When Gabe got back to the office, Nell wasn’t there again. He spared one thought for what she could possibly be doing to complicate his life this time and then went into his office, leaving his door open in case she came in.

  She didn’t, but the police did.

  The door rattled and popped, and when he went out to look, he saw a man and a woman in uniform. Not anybody he knew. That damn landlady must have called them, and now he was going to have to come up with a good excuse for stalking an ex-employee.

  “We’re looking for Eleanor Dysart,” the woman said, smiling at him while her partner slouched behind her.

  “Not here right now,” Gabe said cheerfully. “Can I help?”

  “We’d like to talk to her,” the woman said, just as cheerfully. “Do you know when she’ll be back?”

  “I don’t even know where she is,” Gabe said. “What did she do?”

  “That’s—”

  “You’re Gabe McKenna,” the man said.

  “Yes,” Gabe said.

  “She vandalized her ex-husband’s office,” the man said. “His new wife swore out a warrant.”

  Jesus H. Christ, Gabe thought. I hired a maniac.

  “Nice, Barry,” the woman said, but she didn’t seem too upset. They’d been partners for a while, Gabe realized, and wondered what it would be like to work with somebody you didn’t want to strangle half the time.

  “She smashed a bunch of awards,” Barry said. “The husband didn’t seem too happy about the warrant, but the new wife…” He shook his head.

  “She’s mad,” the woman officer said.

  “I can make this go away,” Gabe said. “Give me a couple of hours.”

  “We would be grateful,” Barry said.

  “We would be surprised,” the woman said. “The new wife is not a cream puff.”

  “Neither is the old wife,” Gabe said. “Give me until five.”

  He went back in the office and called Jack Dysart and got his administrative assistant, a smart, tough woman named Elizabeth.

  “Jack’s not here,” Elizabeth told him. “He got a call and left.”

  “Tell me it was from his brother, Tim,” Gabe said.

  “No,” Elizabeth said. “I can have him call you.”

  “No,” Gabe said. “Find him. Tell him his new sister-in-law, whatever her name is—”

  “Whitney.”

  “Tell him Whitney has sworn out a warrant for Nell’s arrest on vandalism charges.”

  “Nell?” Elizabeth sounded doubtful. “That doesn’t sound like her.”

  “That sounds exactly like her,” Gabe said. “Tell Jack we’re going to have to lean on Tim until he drops the charge.”

  “God, yes,” Elizabeth said. “Jack will have a fit.”

  “He likes Nell that much?”

  “Suze likes Nell that much,” Elizabeth said. “Jack will have Tim arrested if Suze is unhappy.”

  “Tell him I’m on my way,” Gabe said and hung up. Interesting day, he thought and went out to O&D to see what he could do to save his secretary’s butt before he fired her.

  * * *

  Nell knocked on the door to the old brick duplex that matched the address in Lynnie’s file, trying her best to look vague and unthreatening. When no one answered, Nell looked around the narrow porch and knocked again and then again and yet again, and finally a woman came to the door, a pretty brunette in her thirties sporting a low-cut red sweater. Nell said, “Lynnie Mason?” and the brunette said, “I’m not buying anything, thanks,” and began to close the door.

  Nell put her foot in the door, the way she’d seen it do
ne in the movies, and then stuck her shoulder in there, too, for good measure. “I’m from the McKennas,” she said, smiling brightly. “We seem to be missing some funds. Thought you might have them.”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Lynnie said. “But if you don’t get out, I’ll call the police.”

  “Good idea,” Nell said. “I’ll wait here. That way I can show them the checks you forged when they get here.” She patted her bag which did not have the checks in it, and Lynnie thought fast. Nell could practically see the wheels turning behind her eyes.

  “Look, I’ll call Gabe later—”

  “No,” Nell said. “If Gabe wanted to handle this, he’d be here. He wants the money back, and he doesn’t particularly want the police involved, but if it’s a choice of no money or the police, he’ll invite them right in. If you give me the money, nobody gets arrested. I think it’s pretty simple, don’t you?”

  Lynnie opened the door. “Why don’t you come in?”

  Her duplex was sparsely furnished with plain pieces that looked temporary and a few personal pieces that looked expensive, but it also had hardwood floors, and big old windows that let in lots of light, and space, lots of space, room to move, and for a minute, Nell envied her.

  “The thing is,” Lynnie said, when they were sitting down, her voice softer, prettier without the edge, “I’ve been sick, and there were medical bills. I didn’t mean to hurt anybody, I just wanted to pay my bills.”

  She looked imploringly at Nell, her eyes huge and beseeching, and Nell thought, If I were a guy, that might even work. The red sweater she was wearing would have been particularly effective, and Nell wished for a minute she was the kind of woman who could wear a tight, bright sweater instead of gray suits.

  “You can understand that, can’t you?” Lynnie said. “A woman alone?”

  I must really look pathetic, Nell thought. She can tell I’m alone. She gave Lynnie a brisk smile. “Oh, sure, but now that you’re all better, we’d like the money back.”

  Lynnie shook her head, as if in disbelief. “I can’t believe that Gabe would care about a couple hundred dollars.”

  “Five thousand eight hundred and seventy-five,” Nell enunciated clearly. “At least, that’s what we’ve found so far. We’d like it in cash.”

  “That’s impossible,” Lynnie said, widening her eyes. “I couldn’t possibly have borrowed that much.”

  “Cute,” Nell said. “Come across with the cash, or I’m calling the cops.”

  Lynnie looked startled for a nanosecond, and then she smiled at Nell, her lower lip quivering a little. “You don’t look like a cruel person.”

  “I’ve had a very rough week,” Nell said. “Forget cruel, I’m vicious.”

  Lynnie met her eyes, and then she transformed in front of Nell from a helpless, soft girl into a tough, tired woman.

  “You’ve had a rough week.” Lynnie laughed. “Don’t get me started.”

  “Yeah, it must really take a lot out of you, ripping off the innocent,” Nell said.

  “What innocent?” Lynnie sat back. “Honey, there are no innocent men. Just guys who haven’t been caught.” She lifted her chin and said, “So I pay them back. I’m a one-woman justice squad.”

  “What did Gabe ever do to you?”

  “Gabe?” Lynnie shrugged. “Gabe’s okay. That my-way-or-the-highway bit got old fast, but he’s basically all right.”

  She had a point. Nell tried to resist it because she didn’t want to bond with Lynnie. “That doesn’t justify trying to destroy his business.”

  Lynnie looked surprised. “I wasn’t trying to destroy him.” She leaned forward. “Look, what did I take? The cleaning money? I cleaned.”

  Not very well, Nell thought, but Lynnie was on a roll.

  “I was underpaid in that job. Hell, I’ve been underpaid in every job I’ve ever had. If I was a guy, I wouldn’t be just a secretary, I’d be an administrative assistant at twice the salary. I worked for this guy once who was a lawyer, and I did all his work. Every guy I’ve ever worked for has been big on sacrifice and service.” Her mouth twisted. “My sacrifice and service.”

  “Well, then, go after them,” Nell said, trying hard not to say damn right. “Look, torture the bastards in your life all you want, I’ll stand on the sidelines and cheer. I even have a bastard of my own you can have. But I need Gabe’s money back. That wasn’t fair, he didn’t deserve it.”

  “They all deserve it. You were married, right?” Lynnie said, zeroing in on her. “You’ve got that I-used-to-be-married look. How long? Twenty years?”

  “Twenty-two,” Nell said, feeling sick.

  “Let me guess,” Lynnie said. “You worked for him and built a life for him and invested all yourself in him and sacrificed for a future when it would be your turn. Only he changed his mind, and now you’re working for Gabe. How are you doing financially?”

  “I’m okay,” Nell said. “That’s not the point—”

  “Just okay,” Lynnie said. “But he’s doing better than that, isn’t he? You’re back at minimum wage, but your ex, he’s still living like you used to, maybe better.”

  “He’s had to cut some corners,” Nell said.

  “And he’s got the future you built for him, only it’s with a new woman, probably younger,” Lynnie went on, and Nell flinched. “Honey, I’ve been there. It’d be different if they let you go and said, ‘Here, take back that great skin you used to have, take back those high boobs and that flat stomach and all that energy, you just start all over again, honey, we’ll give you a second chance.’ But they don’t. You get older and all your assets are spent, and they leave you broken and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.”

  Nell swallowed hard. “I’m not broken. I don’t care. Just give me Gabe’s money and I’ll go.”

  Lynnie leaned forward. “You don’t have to be a victim. You can get even. You can make them pay. You would not believe how good it feels to make them pay.”

  “I don’t want to make him pay,” Nell lied. “I just want Gabe’s money back.”

  “I could help you,” Lynnie said. “You could help me.” She leaned closer, intent and sincere. “Your problem is, you’re afraid to play dirty.” She spread her hands. “Why? They do. You have to cheat like they do. Take them for everything they’ve got and keep moving so they can’t slow you down.”

  “I’m moving,” Nell said. I trashed his office. And a fat lot of good that had done her. “And I know it’s no good to just move against them. That’s not getting me anywhere. I have to move toward something.”

  “Exactly,” Lynnie said. “You are exactly right. That’s what I’m doing.”

  “By ripping off Gabe?” Nell shook her head. “If exactly what you want is five thousand bucks, you don’t want much.”

  “I want it all,” Lynnie said. “Gabe can spare what I took. And the rest is coming from somebody who can spare a lot more.” She sat back. “I don’t trust him, but I’ve got him. I have trusted enough men.” She met Nell’s eyes. “You know?”

  “Yes,” Nell said. “But I still want Gabe’s money back.”

  Lynnie took a deep breath and sat back, defeated. “Okay. But first I need to call … my lawyer.” She went to the phone and dialed, looking back at Nell over her shoulder. “It’s me,” she said after a minute. “There’s a woman here from the McKennas and she’s accusing me of taking some money. I was thinking—” She stopped and flushed, growing redder as she listened. “I stopped letting you tell me what to do a long time ago. I’m not going to hand over—” She stopped again, and then she said, “Six thousand dollars.” She waited again, and evidently she liked what she heard this time better because she started to nod and her voice lightened and became pretty again. “All right, then. What?” She looked around the apartment and then said, “Sure, why not? As soon as I get back. Where? Fine.”

  She hung up and turned back to Nell, smiling. “So. My lawyer advises me to give you the money.”

&n
bsp; “Your lawyer’s no dummy,” Nell said, standing up.

  “But the money’s not here. It’s in the bank. So I’ll go—”

  “We’ll go,” Nell said, and Lynnie lost her smile for a moment.

  “I’m not your enemy,” Lynnie said, taking a step closer. “They are.”

  “Just give me the money,” Nell said, trying not to listen.

  Lynnie closed in. “You know, if women just wised up and stuck together, they couldn’t get away with this stuff.”

  “Some of them don’t cheat,” Nell said. “Okay, Gabe’s a little controlling, but he doesn’t deserve to be ripped off for it.”

  Lynnie closed her eyes and shook her head. “So that’s it. You’ve got it for him.”

  “Got what?” Nell frowned at her and then understood. “Oh. No, I just met him a week ago.”

  “It only takes a minute, honey,” Lynnie said. “You’ve got your work cut out for you with that one. He’ll use you without even noticing he’s doing it. Look at poor dumb Chloe.”

  “I just want the money back,” Nell said.

  “Yeah, I got that,” Lynnie said. “I’ll just follow you in my car.

  “I walked,” Nell said. “So I’ll just ride with you. Friendlier that way.”

  At the bank, a small branch office in the Village, Lynnie cashed a check and turned the money over to Nell.

  “Thank you,” Nell said and turned and walked out of the bank, leaving Lynnie as far behind as possible—Get thee behind me, Satan—but when she got outside, Lynnie called to her from the bank’s concrete porch.

  “You’ve just made a mistake,” Lynnie told her calmly, and Nell blinked at her.

  “Is that a threat?”

  “No,” Lynnie said. “You’re fighting for the wrong side. You’re tough and you’re smart and you’re giving it all to Gabe. Didn’t you just do that for your ex?”

  Nell swallowed. “This is different.”

  Lynnie shook her head. “It’s the same. Listen, if you and I got together, we could really do some damage.” She smiled at Nell, a smile that held more rue than anger. “My problem is that I’ve always been good with money but not with plans. I’ve needed somebody smart to handle the details, you know? I thought I found somebody once, but he took off.” Her face fell a little at the memory. “He said he was going to get a divorce and marry me, and I believed him. Never get involved with your boss.”