The Surprising Adventures of Baron Munchausen

  CHAPTER XXI

  _The Baron insists on the veracity of his former Memoirs--Forms a designof making discoveries in the interior parts of Africa--Hisdiscourse with Hilaro Frosticos about it--His conversation with LadyFragrantia--The Baron goes, with other persons of distinction, to Court;relates an anecdote of the Marquis de Bellecourt._

  All that I have related before, said the Baron, is gospel; and if therebe any one so hardy as to deny it, I am ready to fight him with anyweapon he pleases. Yes, cried he, in a more elevated tone, as he startedfrom his seat, I will condemn him to swallow this decanter, glass andall perhaps, and filled with kerren-wasser [a kind of ardent spiritdistilled from cherries, and much used in some parts of Germany].Therefore, my dear friends and companions, have confidence in what Isay, and pay honour to the tales of Munchausen. A traveller has a rightto relate and embellish his adventures as he pleases, and it is veryunpolite to refuse that deference and applause they deserve.

  Having passed some time in England since the completion of my formermemoirs, I at length began to revolve in my mind what a prodigious fieldof discovery must be in the interior part of Africa. I could not sleepwith the thoughts of it; I therefore determined to gain every properassistance from Government to penetrate the celebrated source of theNile, and assume the viceroyship of the interior kingdoms of Africa, or,at least, the great realm of Monomotapa. It was happy for me that I hadone most powerful friend at court, whom I shall call the illustriousHilaro Frosticos. You perchance know him not by that name; but we hada language among ourselves, as well we may, for in the course of myperegrinations I have acquired precisely nine hundred and ninety-nineleash of languages. What! gentlemen, do you stare? Well, I allow thereare not so many languages spoken in this vile world; but then, have Inot been in the moon? and trust me, whenever I write a treatise uponeducation, I shall delineate methods of inculcating whole dozens oflanguages at once, French, Spanish, Greek, Hebrew, Cherokee, &c., insuch a style as will shame all the pedagogues existing.

  Having passed a whole night without being able to sleep for the vividimagination of African discoveries, I hastened to the levee of myillustrious friend Hilaro Frosticos, and having mentioned my intentionwith all the vigour of fancy, he gravely considered my words, andafter some awful meditations thus he spoke: _Olough, ma genesat,istum fullanah, cum dera kargos belgarasah eseum balgo bartigostriangulissimus!_ However, added he, it behoveth thee to consider andponder well upon the perils and the multitudinous dangers in the way ofthat wight who thus advanceth in all the perambulation of adventures:and verily, most valiant sire and Baron, I hope thou wilt demean thyselfwith all that laudable gravity and precaution which, as is related inthe three hundred and forty-seventh chapter of the Prophilactics, is ofmore consideration than all the merit in this terraqueous globe. Yes,most truly do I advise thee unto thy good, and speak unto thee, mostvaliant Munchausen, with the greatest esteem, and wish thee to succeedin thy voyage; for it is said, that in the interior realms of Africathere are tribes that can see but just three inches and a half beyondthe extremity of their noses; and verily thou shouldest moderatethyself, even sure and slow; they stumble who walk fast. But we shallbring you unto the Lady Fragrantia, and have her opinion of the matter.He then took from his pocket a cap of dignity, such as described inthe most honourable and antique heraldry, and placing it upon my head,addressed me thus:--"As thou seemest again to revive the spirit ofancient adventure, permit me to place upon thy head this favour, as amark of the esteem in which I hold thy valorous disposition."

  The Lady Fragrantia, my dear friends, was one of the most divinecreatures in all Great Britain, and was desperately in love with me. Shewas drawing my portrait upon a piece of white satin, when the most nobleHilaro Frosticos advanced. He pointed to the cap of dignity which he hadplaced upon my head. "I do declare, Hilaro," said the lovely Fragrantia,"'tis pretty, 'tis interesting; I love you, and I like you, my dearBaron," said she, putting on another plume: "this gives it an air moredelicate and more fantastical. I do thus, my dear Munchausen, as yourfriend, yet you can reject or accept my present just as you please; butI like the fancy, 'tis a good one, and I mean to improve it: and againstwhatever enemies you go, I shall have the sweet satisfaction to rememberyou bear my favour on your head!"

  I snatched it with trepidation, and gracefully dropping on my knees, Ithree times kissed it with all the rapture of romantic love. "I swear,"cried I, "by thy bright eyes, and by the lovely whiteness of thinearm, that no savage, tyrant, or enemy upon the face of the earthshall despoil me of this favour, while one drop of the blood of theMunchausens doth circulate in my veins! I will bear it triumphantthrough the realms of Africa, whither I now intend my course, and makeit respected, even in the court of Prester John."

  "I admire your spirit," replied she, "and shall use my utmost interestat court to have you despatched with every pomp, and as soon aspossible; but here comes a most brilliant company indeed, Lady CarolinaWilhelmina Amelia Skeggs, Lord Spigot, and Lady Faucet, and the Countessof Belleair."

  After the ceremonies of introduction to this company were over, weproceeded to consult upon the business; and as the cause met withgeneral applause, it was immediately determined that I should proceedwithout delay, as soon as I obtained the sovereign approbation. "I amconvinced," said Lord Spigot, "that if there be any thing really unknownand worthy of our most ardent curiosity, it must be in the immenseregions of Africa; that country, which seems to be the oldest on theglobe, and yet with the greater part of which we are almost utterlyunacquainted; what prodigious wealth of gold and diamonds must not lieconcealed in those torrid regions, when the very rivers on the coastpour forth continual specimens of golden sand! 'Tis my opinion,therefore, that the Baron deserves the applause of all Europe for hisspirit, and merits the most powerful assistance of the sovereign."

  So flattering an approbation, you may be sure, was delightful to myheart, and with every confidence and joy I suffered them to take me tocourt that instant. After the usual ceremonies of introduction, sufficeit to say that I met with every honour and applause that my mostsanguine expectations could demand. I had always a taste for thefashionable _je ne sais quoi_ of the most elegant society, and in thepresence of all the sovereigns of Europe I ever found myself quite athome, and experienced from the whole court the most flattering esteemand admiration. I remember, one particular day, the fate of theunfortunate Marquis de Bellecourt. The Countess of Rassinda, whoaccompanied him, looked most divinely. "Yes, I am confident," saidthe Marquis de Bellecourt to me, "that I have acted according to thestrictest sentiments of justice and of loyalty to my sovereign. Whatstronger breast-plate than a heart untainted? and though I did notreceive a word nor a look, yet I cannot think--no, it were impossibleto be misrepresented. Conscious of my own integrity, I will try again--Iwill go boldly up." The Marquis de Bellecourt saw the opportunity; headvanced three paces, put his hand upon his breast and bowed. "Permitme," said he, "with the most profound respect, to----." His tonguefaltered--he could scarcely believe his sight, for at that moment thewhole company were moving out of the room. He found himself almostalone, deserted by every one. "What!" said he, "and did he turn upon hisheel with the most marked contempt? Would he not speak to me? Wouldhe not even hear me utter a word in my defence?" His heart died withinhim--not even a look, a smile from any one. "My friends! Do they notknow me? Do they not see me? Alas! they fear to catch the contagion ofmy----. Then," said he, "adieu!--'tis more than I can bear. I shall goto my country seat, and never, never will return. Adieu, fond court,adieu!--"

  The venerable Marquis de Bellecourt stopped for a moment ere he enteredhis carriage. Thrice he looked back, and thrice he wiped the startingtear from his eye. "Yes," said he, "for once, at least, truth shall befound--in the bottom of a well!"

  Peace to thy ghost, most noble marquis! a King of kings shall pity thee;and thousands who are yet unborn shall owe their happiness to thee, andhave cause to bless the thousands, perhaps, that shall never even knowthy name; but Munchausen's self
shall celebrate thy glory!