My Very UnFairy Tale Life: Jenny’s First Adventure

few years ago. I’d always thought there was something unearthly about that bracelet. Was it possible it had been made by sprites? Wait, that was crazy. My parents had been dentists. There was no way they could have gotten their hands on anything even remotely magical.

  “So what exactly am I supposed to do when we get to the dragons?” I asked.

  Anthony shrugged. “You’re the adventurer. I’m just here to make sure you don’t get hurt.”

  “That’s it? No instructions? I thought you were going to be my guide.”

  “You’ll be fine,” he said. “You’re a natural. I can tell.”

  I didn’t feel like a natural. I felt like someone in a dream—or maybe a nightmare. As excited as I was that something amazing was finally happening to me, part of me still couldn’t believe it. And okay, I was a tiny bit scared. What had I gotten myself into?

  We kept trudging through the charred woods until we got to a large clearing. It was dotted with dozens of shiny hills, glowing against the burned landscape. As we got closer, I realized the hills were shiny because they were pretty much heaps of metal.

  And milling around the metallic hills were dozens of dragons.

  I’d expected dragons to be enormous, so I was a little disappointed to see the creatures up close. The biggest one was about the size of a moving van, but most of the others weren’t much bigger than a car. The dragons were hovering around the metal mounds, combing through forks and weathervanes and ladders. I spotted some random non-metal things poking out, including the bathtub I’d seen flying through the air minutes earlier. It occurred to me how strong dragons had to be if they could carry objects that were almost as big as they were.

  “What is this place?” I whispered to Anthony.

  “The dragons’ home base,” he said. “It’s where they bring back all their treasure.”

  I didn’t know if “treasure” was the word I would use to describe a rusty stepstool that one of the dragons was hugging to its chest.

  At that moment, the dragon closest to us—and the largest of the bunch—spun around and glared at us with yellow eyes. I expected him to snarl and fry us up for dinner, but instead he said: “You’ve been sent to help us?”

  At his words, the rest of the dragons in the clearing stopped what they were doing and eyed us curiously.

  “Yes, indeed!” said Anthony. “This here is Jenny. She’s going to fix everything.”

  All dragon eyes swung toward me, which made me inch back a step. Even if the dragons weren’t enormous beasts, they were still pretty intimidating. And the fact that they could set me on fire with just a hiccup wasn’t exactly comforting.

  “Um, hi,” I said with a pathetic wave. “Nice to meet you all.”

  “I am Hsssshhhem,” the large dragon said, the name coming out like a long hiss of steam. “I am the leader of this clan.” His neck was thicker than all of the other dragons’ which probably meant he was the king—at least based on what Anthony had told me about the sprite queen’s war-starting comment.

  “Er, do you mind if I call you Sam?” I asked, pretty sure there was no way my tongue could make boiling-water sounds.

  The dragon sighed, letting out a small puff of smoke. “It does not matter what you call me as long as you make the sprites leave us alone. They attack us and drive us out of our own woods.” He shook his head. “And worst of all, they make us leave our treasures behind. Do you know what it feels like to abandon chairs you’ve been collecting for decades?”

  “I’m sorry,” I said, trying to sound sympathetic. I’d never really been all that attached to furniture. “I’ll do what I can to stop the sprites.”

  In my mind, sprites were small and bubbly and totally harmless. How could a group of dragons be afraid of them? But they clearly were scared or they wouldn’t be burning down their entire land to protect themselves.

  “Thank you,” said Sam, bowing his scaly head.

  Just then, a shrill horn sounded from among the burned trees. The dragons’ eyes turned huge with panic.

  “We’re under attack!” Sam yelled.

  I didn’t even have time to duck before something bullet-like zipped past my head. Then another, and another. One of the buzzing bullets grazed my shoulder, sending what felt like a lightning bolt down my entire arm.

  “Get down!” Anthony cried, pushing me to the ground.

  Above our heads, the buzzing got louder and louder until it was almost deafening. The numbness in my arm started to fade, and finally I could focus on what was attacking us. That’s when I realized the bullets had pink wings.

  Sprites. Now I understood why the dragons were so scared of them.

  The dragons were flapping around in the air above us, trying to dodge the sprites and belch fire at the same time. No matter which direction they went, the sprites followed at top speed. It was clear the dragons were losing; the sprites were tiring them out by making them fly in tight circles. Already, a few of the dragons looked like they could barely stay in the air.

  “We have to do something,” I said.

  Anthony’s orange eyebrows climbed up his forehead. “All right, Jenny-girl. Let’s see if the Committee was right about you having adventurer potential.”

  “Wait, you’re not going to help me?”

  He shrugged. “You’re the one running the show.”

  Great. Well, the first thing I needed to do was stop the fighting. Then maybe I could get these crazy creatures to sit down and talk out their problems. But how was I supposed to get their attention in the first place?

  “Any chance you have a giant whistle on you?” I asked Anthony.

  He grinned and snapped his fingers. Pop! Instantly, a whistle the size of a trumpet appeared. I had to use both hands to hold it up.

  I took a deep breath, put my lips to the whistle, and blew as hard as I could. “Tweet.” The whistle let out a pathetic sound that resembled a dying tea kettle.

  Determined, I got to my feet and sucked in the biggest breath I could. Then:

  “TWEET!”

  The whistle’s shrill sound echoed toward the clouds. The fighting stopped, and all the creatures glared down at me.

  Gulp.

  I threw back my shoulders and put on a stern voice that would have made my gym teacher proud. “Stop all that fighting and come down here right now!” I hollered up at the mass of dragons and sprites.

  The creatures drifted toward the ground, sulking like they were in trouble.

  “Now sit down, all of you,” I said, amazed that they were actually listening to me.

  The creatures formed a circle around me, dragons on one side and sprites on the other. Now that the sprites weren’t moving, I could see just how stunning they were. While their wings were various shades of pink and purple, their skin was pale blue and their clothes were shimmery white. They eyed me with suspicion, clearly unhappy that I’d put an end to their fun.

  “Okay, you guys,” I said. “This fighting has to stop. Dragons, if you keep going like this, you won’t have anywhere to live. I mean, look at this place. It’s a mess!”

  The dragons hung their heads in shame.

  “And sprites, what would it take for you to end this war?”

  One of the sprites stood and gave me a little bow. Her wings were darker than the others’ and her shimmery white clothing was laced with gold.

  “Adventurer, I am Queen Olra. You must know that we did not want this war. The dragons left us no choice. They robbed us of all our worldly possessions until we had to act.”

  “Robbed you?” I said. “What do you mean?” I turned toward Sam, who was looking at the ground with guilty eyes. “Is this true? Have you been stealing from the sprites?”

  He nodded slowly. “We can’t help it,” he said. “It’s simply in our nature. When we see something shiny, we must have it.”

  “And what about our chairs?” Olra demanded. “They were made out of wood, and still you took them even though they were far too small for you to sit in. Now we c
an’t get them back, since you burned down the entire forest and destroyed them all.”

  Sam’s green cheeks looked slightly red. “They were just…such nice chairs.”

  “I know,” said the queen coldly. “I conjured them myself.”

  I couldn’t believe it. The entire war was over some chairs? I glanced at Anthony, but he had a straight look on his face. Maybe this kind of thing was normal in the magical worlds.

  “I want peace,” Olra went on, “but my people are angry. The dragons destroyed our villages, and the magic necessary to rebuild our land has left my people drained.” She turned to me. “Please. There must be something you can do to help us.”

  “Um, okay. Well, the first thing the dragons should do is apologize,” I said. “And promise you won’t steal from the sprites again.”

  The dragons around me gasped.

  “But…but what will we do without our treasures?” one of the smaller dragons said. Based on its high voice and the pink bow tied around one of its spikes, I assumed it was a girl dragon.

  “Why must you have treasures at all?” said the sprite queen. “Why can’t you simply live productive lives?”

  “Easy for you to say,” one of the dragons growled. “Your people can conjure anything with magic. All we have is fire.”

  “Which you use to destroy us!” one of the men sprites called out.

  “Not on purpose,” said Sam. “We try to think before we burn, but sometimes it’s hard.”

  “Of course it’s hard when you’re a bunch of simple-minded creatures,” said Olra, her pale cheeks flushing pink.

  “Hey!” one of the dragons said while