Its Around

  With pell-mell,

  Dustbins full.

 

  How many, people even eat

  all the same hungry soul.

  First, had l where from begun to travel?

  How many days, how many months

  Maybe year..

  Any more l can't know

  I can't know any more

  Where is paradise

  Where is hell...

 

  15

 

  HiDiNGS

 

  Ah, l love these hidings,

  that mystery curtain

  that calm window..

  Under the car

  that, hiding

  miserable cat.

  Like me

  It has nobody

  What I'm doing here, l don't know.

  Dreaming;

  one woman takes out

  From window

  Calls me inside

  For to drink, one cup of tea.

  Without talking, In a silence

  friendly,

  never knows me and

  Without trying to know me

 

  Just for one cup of tea

  friendly,

  If she says

  come sometimes

  ever, here waiting somebody

  even if she looks

  Doesn't see me her eyes.

  Here around, main street,

  from far,

  the weak motor voices of a few car.

 

  Ah these damn streets...

  How must leave these trips?

  If not is it trap, these calm streets

  these mystery windows

  for not to leave, this city?

  Who knows...

 

 

 

  16

  HESITATIONS

  (Just ten minutes before)

 

  " Are you? Are you, that somebody

  who makes this to me?

  Melting slowly my identity.

  I'm trying but, l can't turning to my

  Old identity.

  It has been

  running off my all force

  like a running mad horse...

  These dilemmas

  My God, alas! "

  One woman that

  Cruel as fate".

 

  But woman was obstinate.

  He was feeling

  It was coming close

  An ominous in air.

  He was spelled from

  from long and scarlet hair.

  It had wrapped his all spirit

  Mixed with passion,

  a sweet hate.

  Can it change the fate

  delay or hesitate?

 

  These were his last words before

  murder...

  He was a devout, young man.

  17

  After...

  " My God! This is, how nightmare?

  Foggy everywhere.

  Should l doubt from my eye?

  But these eyes

  many years had serviced to me.

  Now, why?

  Why this treachery?

  And my mind...

  Is it in my head still?

  What l did?

  But she was following me

  how long,

  Yes, l wasn't wrong

  She was a devil...

  That woman on floor who lyes

  Where is now?"

  So that he murmured with pain.

  " Now she had turned to a little boy.

  I wish, she comes to life again.

  Moreover how much this face now

  looking innocent."

 

  Charming, red haired woman

  had followed him for a while.

  When he sensed hopeless

  He had decided to kill.

  He had hesitated before...

 

  So, with a weak shoot

  Dagger had accident

  To the side of the heart a bit

  He looked to that different shape now

  Shocked and timid.

  18

  She had turned a little boy

  When she fall in floor.

  He was regret but,

  It was late any more.

 

  He was thinking that

  she was dead.

  After when he tried to go

  When he turned his hind

  This time little boy made the same thing.

  In a jiffy, it happened everything.

 

  Standing little boy,

  for a while watched him

  With sarcastic eyes.

  An expression on his face

  Like apologise.

 

  murmured, with getting thin voice

  more an more:

 

  "Before wishing something, about it good think

  You should go away when l fall in floor.

 

  But, your weakness makes me so,

  there is in my instincts to try the power;

  Until where, can l go more...

  You tried to keep away from me

  but with killing, you have a sin.

  But if you could with me make love

  You wouldn't be murder now.

 

  Anyway,

  Two both ways goes to same door.

  19

  If you are decided, Instantly you should go...

 

 

  Again, you fall in my hand."

 

  Then, a tender wave passed from her face

  Her red hairs got longer,

  Hey sarcastic voice got thinner.

  Finally, turned a woman again.

  Her half open eyes

  Onto of victim, murmured:

  "Sometimes have many deaths

  Sometimes death is not true

  life too,

  Perceive, mostly deceptive.

  If you wait much

  Reality can decay ...

  And it can show you

  different shapes

  like kidding you,

  this much time for you

  your loyal eye.

 

  And while she was going away

  a song

  In her tongue...

  " He was an alive guy,

 

  Who lyes on floor.

  Just ten minutes before,

  Just ten minutes before."

  20

  O D D N E S S

  How long he was following me

  I
don't know clearly.

  In his hand a mobile phone

  In his other hand

  One white pocket.

  Look like he was turning from market.

  His one leg like lame

  Despite of this , strangely

  he had arrived

  To my fast steps,

  That

  middle aged, white hated someone.

  The strange point

  he was walking leisurely,

 

 

  Spreading around his black glassed face

  An ominousness.

  When l look back

  Ever there

  Near a building

  In bus station

  Like bus waiting

  Or in a corner

  Such standing.

  Look like inoffensive.

  For a moment l thought to touch him

  So that was he alive?

  I couldn't see in his face

  Any perspective.

  As if, just, he should be there.

  21

 

  I was forwarding slowly

  In other hand my eyes onto him

  A few street l had passed

  Look like back side nobody.

  But inside a bit boredom

  I said,

  Just a people

  Who was shopping

  and turned his home already.

  I thought, l was mistake.

  For to look, to my notebook

  I breaking to my walking

  In a sunny day

  a shadowed corner,

  yes, l can stay for a minutes here,

  for short break.

  I looked to my notes

  Like a few minutes

  When l lift my head

  What's that?

  There, same guy.

  If not is it the game

  Of the hot sun?

  Standing in the next corner

  Still talking with mobile phone.

  Quite mysteriously, disturbing someone.

  Now l was more sure

  He was following me.

  But why?

  22

  Secretly,

  Behind of black glass

  Onto me his dark eyes.

  But, l can't proof it.

  I forwarded more a bit.

  I should go away

  from this Street, any where.

  I tried not to care.

  But it was like a nightmare.

  Where l go,

  this same guy

  Behind of black glasses

  Onto me his eye.

  Just l aware

  Noone knows, what can l do?

  There was no

  any proof of the probation.

  Maybe if l take out

  from this street

  I can get easy breath a bit.

 

  One woman appeared in bus station

  In her hand some pocket's;

  She asked, does it go bus,

  to G. zone destination?

  I said, l don't know

  Instantly in my mind to go there

  far, anywhere...

  As if air changed in a jiffy

  That all ominousness

  lost suddenly.

  Why hadn't l thought this?

  23

 

  Thankfully l looked to woman

  She like understood, smiled too.

  One bus came five minutes later

  but,

  Quickly it gone, l miss.

 

  I looked to back

  he was not around.

  I forwarded again slowly

  However, bus doesn't come, quickly.

  I looked around again

  There was no people.

  The sweet voice of the woman

  That innocent question

  had broken the circle.

 

 

  24

 

  INSTINCT

  In the darkness of the night.

  The reflection of the dusk light, of the

  Street lamps, on the empty

  Streets,

  around home, when l close to door

 

  While l was turning the corner

  from a dark point it jumped

  an adult tabby cat

  "Miaov, miaov...

  What it's trouble l do know.

  Maybe it's hungry.

 

  As if bagging.

  It tripped between of my legs

  I was walking hardly:

  Miaov, miaov.

  It wanna something, but what?

  Almost, something it let me know.

  Until to door, it came.

  Miaow!

  With its, pawl forcing the door

  I took out.

  I didn't go into.

  Something

  like it says, don't go home.

  First time l was seeing

  Such a cat.

 

  I thought that it's hungry.

  Quickly, l go back

  To market

  For to get it some salami.

  Hardly l walked

  Still, it was yowling.

  25

  It jumped on to wall

  then, landed to floor again.

  Then, between of my steps.

  Cross side an odd looked,

  light Hancock guy getting close.

  Little l am afraid.

  While l was looking him.

 

  Stroke it, my left foot

  With a light pain

  a bit accusing again:

 

  Miaov!

  Then, it hide under the car.

  I got some salami

  From market

  A few something more, for home

  But inside a strange boredom..

  It's trouble like

  not fo

 

 

  I thought that,

  when l go home

  I will see, whatever finally.

  The warning of the cat,

  Was meaningless in the long run.

  Finally maybe

  It was just hungry.

  It is...

  Cats were so.

  No cat around.

  Almost l looked under of all cars

  But, no.

  l heard as if that same weak sound...

  That night, l never seen it one more.

  26

 

  Salami in my hand

  I came back to home.

  My mother mostly would sleep.

  But this time strange silence

  Welcomed me, on the door.

 

  When l entered inside,

  Before l saw her foots
>
  Side to side.

  She was looking to up

  Mostly doesn't talk.

  For this, this silence

  It was

  Something that l used...

  How long she was schizophrenic.

 

  I was used to this silence

  but it was a fatal silence this time

  cat in my mind

  I screamed silently.

  Her existing in home, was enough to me.

  Even if she doesn't speak.

  Sometimes when l give her food

  any thing,

  She would glad , a proud smile would

  appear in her face.

  Sometimes too, she would decline,

  makes moodiness.

  She never laughs, generally sulky.

  Such in bed silently she would lye.

  a bit pesky, but

 

  I was no alone, in home, somebody.

  After l throwed myself to way.

  Thanks God, streets were empty.

  They won't see my tears,

  no body...

 

  27