Promise Me Light

  His hands ran over my back, tangling in my long hair. His eyes bore into mine, looking nowhere else.

  “When Gavin said he kissed you, everything just came crashing down. Then when you wrapped my hand around your neck…” He scrubbed a hand over his face and shook his head in disgust. “I had to leave. I didn’t want to hurt you or the baby. I knew if I did, I would die. So I came here and got stinking drunk on some old liquor your dad had. I sat in this house and called myself a fool. I cursed myself for wanting to return to you. The last thing you needed was me being around you. Hurting you. Making you cry.”

  “Ryder, you won’t hurt me. I trust you. We’ve always been there for each other. Let me be here for you now.” I leaned over, kissing the corner of his mouth. “I love you,” I said. “Don’t push me away.”

  “God, Maddie, I’m not going anywhere. I love you too. I’ve always loved you. I might be a screwed up bastard but I can’t live without you.”

  His hands delved into my hair to grasp me tighter. “I’ll never leave you again, Maddie,” he said, his lips brushing across mine.

  “Promise me,” I whispered.

  “With all my heart.”

  Chapter Thirty–Two

  Winter came and went. By some miracle, we survived. Many days we didn’t think we would. The weather was cold and sometimes harsh. Uncompromising and hell bent on destroying us. But we were strong. We had each other. We had hope and determination. With those things, we could survive.

  Cash and Gavin started making trips to a neighboring town, one that was free of terrorists. At first, they traded for food. It was what we needed most. After a while they started trading for other items; gasoline, clothes, baby supplies. The town was a big one and had become a refuge camp of sorts. They said it was a gold mine of supplies, a center for trade where people came from miles around to barter. I would have liked to go but I was too pregnant, the trip too dangerous this close to my due date.

  Not only did Gavin and Cash bring back supplies, they brought back news as well. They learned that the militia had been right; the U.S. was winning, forcing the insurgents out. It was a slow process and the fighting still continued but there was hope on the horizon. Hope for peace.

  But it hadn’t found me yet.

  ~~~~

  I ran a hand over my stomach, feeling the baby kick beneath my palm. Staring up at the ceiling, I glided my fingers over my eighth month belly, trying to calm the baby down.

  For the past three nights, he or she had kept me awake, moving nonstop at night. I had laughingly told Ryder that the baby took after me and liked to dance. He didn’t think it was very funny, reminding me how I danced with him the night in the club. I had blushed, remembering being pressed up against his body while the music blasted around us. Not caring about anything else but each other.

  Suddenly, an ache hit the middle of my back, wrapping around my hips. I tried to change positions but it didn’t help.

  When I had a similar pain this morning, I mentioned it to Janice. She had given me a quick exam and said everything looked good, warning me that it might have been Braxton Hicks. I made her promise not to tell Ryder because he would blow a gasket with worry and he had enough right now to worry about.

  We were all worried. Gavin, Brody, and Eva were supposed to be home two days ago, but they still hadn’t returned. They had left almost a week ago, heading to town both for supplies, and to look for Eva and Brody’s parents. I prayed that they found them alive and safe but I had learned that in this new world, not every prayer was answered.

  Cash had stayed behind, refusing to leave me so close to my delivery date. Yesterday, he had decided to move in with Janice and Roger, giving Ryder and me some much needed time alone.

  Feeling uncomfortable again, I turned on my side. My stomach pressed up against Ryder, his skin hot against mine. The sheet was tangled around his waist, leaving his chest bare. Reaching out, I traced the lines of his tattoos, inky black against his skin. His eyes opened, the lids lifting slowly. Glancing over at me, he smiled.

  “You’re awake?” he asked, reaching out to pull me close.

  “Yes,” I answered, running my hand over the muscles of his abdomen.

  “Hell, Maddie, keep going,” he whispered, his hand plunging into my hair.

  I smiled, my fingers lightly skimming over his belly button.

  The baby kicked again, this time pushing against Ryder’s side.

  “Is he at it again?” he asked, his hand going to my very rounded stomach.

  “Yes, she’s very active,” I said, adamant that it was a girl.

  Ryder chuckled as his fingers spread over my belly button, feeling the baby move in me.

  “You need anything?” he asked, his lips against the top of my head.

  An ache started in my back, one that almost made me squirm. A weird tightness gripped my stomach, squeezing me. I pushed myself to a sitting position, needing to move.

  “Maddie?” Ryder asked, concerned.

  “I’m fine,” I lied. “I just need to walk around.” Sometimes when I was uncomfortable at night or unable to find a good position to sleep in, I would walk around the house. It seemed to calm the baby and help my body relax.

  I threw my legs over the edge of the bed, my bare feet landing on the wooden floor. Ryder’s long shirt hit me at the knee, soft against my skin and smelling like him.

  “I’ll go with you,” Ryder said, sitting up.

  I glanced over my shoulder at him. My breath hitched at what I saw. His hair was in his eyes, messy as usual. His jaw was covered in a sexy stubble. I knew it would be rough against my fingers and would tickle my skin. I blushed, remembering how many times I had experienced that feeling.

  The muscles of his arms flexed as he tossed the blankets off his legs, leaving his six-pack bare. He was as sexy now as he had been a year ago when I confronted him in my apartment bathroom. The words he said to me that day are forever etched in my mind. ‘Years, Maddie, I’ve wanted you for years.’

  And now he had me forever.

  I stood up and stretched my back, trying to work out the kinks.

  “Maddie?”

  “I’m okay, Ryder. Stay here,” I said.

  “You sure?” he asked, eyeing me as I stood up.

  I nodded. He looked tired. Sometimes, the nightmares still bothered him. He would wake up angry, sweating and looking for something to punch. I would hold him as he shook, waiting for the memories to disappear and the panic to leave. But those nights were becoming fewer and fewer.

  I knew Ryder watched as I walked out of the bedroom, his eyes assessing every move I made. Lately, he had become terrified, thinking of me delivering the baby. Rarely did he let me out of his sight for every long.

  In the kitchen I lit a candle in the middle of the table. Needing to do something with my hands, I poured a cup of clean, sterilized creek water. It felt cool going down my throat. I would never forget the feeling of walking down a deserted road, thirsty and sunburned. Trying to get home to my father. Ryder by my side, keeping me safe. Trying to resist each other and losing.

  When I felt the baby move, I walked around the room, my hips swaying with the movement. I glanced outside when the clouds moved, letting moonlight stream in through the window. Maybe if I used the outhouse, I’ll feel better.

  I grabbed a flashlight that we always kept by the backdoor. I won’t bother Ryder. I’m just going a few feet from the house. I had made trips to the outhouse alone too many times to count since becoming pregnant.

  Opening the backdoor, cool air wrapped around my bare legs, making me shiver. Winter was slowly leaving. The days were warmer but the nights still were cold.

  On bare feet I padded down the porch steps, the flashlight lighting the way. Somewhere in the distance, an owl hooted. The sound sent a chill up my spine but I didn’t stop.

  The grass was wet beneath my feet, sticking up between my toes. Hurrying, I crossed to the outhouse, looking over my shoulder once when I thought I heard s
omething.

  When I was finished, I closed the wooden door behind me and started walking back toward the house. I was only a few steps from the porch when a chill ran up my spine. Glancing around, I suddenly felt uneasy. Something felt wrong as if someone was watching me. I lifted my foot to step on the first porch step when everything came crashing down.

  Someone grabbed me from behind, knocking the gun from my fingers. I screamed but a dirty hand immediately covered my mouth, cutting off any sound. I struck out with my fists, hitting the stranger in the head once or twice. In response, a strong arm wrapped around my neck, cutting off my air supply.

  I started clawing at the stranger’s forearms, my nails digging into skin and leaving bloody marks behind. I tried pulling his arm away, desperate for air, but his arm was tight around my neck.

  “Hello. Remember me,” a deep voice said in my ear, sending shivers racing along my spine.

  I instantly recognized the voice. It was the same terrorist who had shown up here looking for Ryder a few months ago. The same one that threatened to return.

  He squeezed my neck with his forearm, making my eyes bulge and my face turn red. I clawed at his arm again, desperate to get away.

  Ignoring my struggling, he squeezed tighter. “Now, we’re going to walk very slowly toward the woods. Understand?” he asked, his English perfect. “You will not make a sound.”

  I nodded as best as I could, my heart pounding out of control.

  “I will let go of your neck if you do as I say.”

  I nodded again, my windpipe starting to feel constricted.

  “Good.” His arm dropped away from my neck. Grabbing both of my wrists, he pulled my hands behind my back, keeping one of his hands over my mouth.

  “Now come,” he instructed, nudging me to start walking.

  I did as he said, my legs feeling like rubber. His hand on my mouth pressed my lips into my teeth painfully. If he would just loosen his hand enough, I could bite him. I planned my escape as he pushed me along, knowing if he got me in the woods, I was as good as dead.

  We were halfway across the yard when he stopped and turned me around.

  “I really don’t want to hurt you, you know. You are my insurance,” he said. “I will remove my hand if you promise to be quiet.”

  I nodded, needing oxygen desperately.

  Slowly, he lowered his hand. I breathed big gulps of air deeply into my lungs.

  The stranger’s eyes dropped down to my very pregnant stomach. I wanted to cover myself from his gaze but he still held my wrists tightly.

  I swallowed hard, my throat hurting. Another ache started in my back but I ignored it. It will have to wait…

  “What do you want?” I asked, glancing back at the house.

  The man cocked his head to one side. Without answering, he spun me around and pushed me to start walking.

  “I have come for your man. I have to take him back,” he answered from behind me.

  “No! Leave him alone!” I pleaded. We were almost to the woods now. I needed to stall him.

  “We haven’t done anything to you.”

  “Your man killed my leader. Because of that, he must die.”

  I stumbled as pain radiated up my back, almost bringing tears to my eyes. The man didn’t seem to notice.

  “I will tell you this so you understand. I was part of a sleeper cell, set into place many years ago. I have been in the United States for seven years. I met an American and fell in love with her. I tried to protect her from this war, this violence,” he spit, in rage, “but I couldn’t.”

  His hands tightened around my wrists, making me cringe and bit my lip.

  “And how did my country repay me for my service? They took my wife and child. They are holding them hostage, just like the Americans they capture. In exchange for my family’s release, they want your man alive. So I will bring him to them and get my family back,” he said. “You are my bait.”

  I stopped and whirled around. My heart started hammering and my palms turned sweaty.

  “You don’t have to do this. Please,” I begged.

  He opened his mouth to respond but never got the chance. A bullet whizzed past our heads, a warning shot that almost singed my hair.

  “Let her go,” a deadly voice said.

  The terrorist whirled around, using my body as a shield. Ryder stood a few feet from me, a rifle in his hand. His feet were spread apart as he peered down the barrel of the gun, ready to fire off another shot.

  “There you are, my friend. I was wondering when you would find us,” the stranger said, squeezing my wrists painfully.

  Ryder chambered another round into the rifle, his focus only on the stranger. “I’m here now. Let her go.”

  The stranger let me go. Just like that, I was free. I ran to Ryder, his free hand stretching out to grab me. Pushing me behind his back, he placed himself in front of me as he kept the gun pointed on the terrorist.

  The man held up his hands, surrendering.

  It can’t be that easy.

  “Don’t move, Maddie,” Ryder said. Removing a pistol from his waistband, he pressed it into my hand. “If something happens, take off running for Mom and Dad’s got it?”

  “Yeah,” I said, taking the gun and clicking the safety off.

  Ryder continued to peer down the rifle barrel as he slowly approached the man. I stood still, watching as the man shifted from one foot to another, his eyes on Ryder. I didn’t trust him for a second.

  “Kill me. Put me out of my misery,” he spit, his chin thrusting toward Ryder. “I am nothing.”

  Ryder didn’t respond. I saw the muscles of his back flex and his arms tighten. He stopped a few feet from the man, the gun aimed at the man’s head.

  “Do it,” the man hissed, looking down the barrel with no fear. “DO IT!”

  Suddenly, pain hit me, running up my spine. This time it was unlike anything I had ever felt before. I sucked in a breath, doubling over. That small intake of air echoed through the night, changing everything.

  Ryder glanced over his shoulder at me.

  The stranger saw his chance. His hand swung up, hitting the side of Ryder’s rifle. The impact knocked the gun to the side, away from him. That’s when the man’s fist connected with Ryder’s stomach.

  Ryder doubled over for a second but was quick to recover. But by then, the stranger had the upper hand.

  I screamed as the man grabbed the gun out of Ryder’s hands. In a seamless move that only a professional soldier would make, the man flipped the rifle around and pointed it at Ryder.

  I watched in horror as Ryder ignored the gun. In one swift move, his fist connected with the stranger’s jaw. The man stumbled back. The gun fell to the ground, forgotten. Ignoring it, Ryder followed the man, his fists plowing into the side of the stranger’s head. Blood poured from the man’s nose and mouth, spraying through the air.

  Ryder’s going to kill him!

  “Ryder!” I screamed, taking a step forward.

  Another pain hit me, making me bite my lip and bring blood. I cried out, feeling like I was being ripped in two. I tried breathing through the pain but it was too much. My stomach tightened, becoming hard. Suddenly, a warm feeling rushed down my legs. In shock, I looked down.

  My water had just broken.

  Chapter Thirty–Three

  Glancing up with panic, I found Ryder holding the terrorist on the ground. His fists pounded into the man’s face over and over. All his frustration, all the torture they put him through, was being taken out on the man.

  “Ryder!” I shouted, pain ripping me apart again.

  I fell to my knees, no longer able to stand. Squeezing my eyes shut, I rode the terrible wave of pain. I had never experienced anything so awful. A broken finger and a cracked rib didn’t even begin to compare.

  When the pain subsided, I opened my eyes. Ryder was climbing off of the writhing, bloody man. Walking a few feet away, he bent down and picked up the rifle. Lifting the gun to his shoulder, he pointed it
at the stranger.

  “This is over!” he snarled.

  I shook with fright, knowing what he was about to do. Knowing I was the only one to stop him.

  “RYDER!” I shouted, trying to get his attention. That’s when the pain hit me again, tearing me in two. This time I screamed.

  “Maddie?”

  Opening my eyes, I saw Ryder lower the gun, his eyes on me.

  “Let him go,” I said, my breathing ragged. “I need you.”

  In seconds he was dropping down beside me, the man forgotten.

  “What’s wrong? Were you shot? Dammit Maddie, what the HELL IS WRONG?” he roared, his hands roaming all over me.

  I couldn’t answer. The pain was too great.

  “MADDIE!” he yelled, shaking me.

  “My water just broke,” I forced out.

  “Shit!” Ryder said, terror on his face.

  He didn’t waste any more time. Sliding his hands under my knees and behind my back, he lifted me up. I glanced over his shoulder to see the stranger climb to his feet, holding his side. Glancing at us once, he took off running toward the woods. For some reason, I knew it would be the last time we saw him.

  We were halfway across the yard when I heard someone running toward us. I let out a sigh of relief when I saw it was only Cash racing our way.

  “What’s going on?” he asked, looking stunned when he saw Ryder carrying me.

  Ryder didn’t stop but turned his eyes to Cash.

  “Maddie’s in labor. What the hell took you so long to get here?”

  Cash followed us at a quick pace, his eyes staying on me. “I came as soon as I heard the shot. Your parents should be here soon.”

  “Our unwanted guest returned. He took off into the woods near that old stone pile,” Ryder said, nodding his head toward the tree-lined woods.