The Fortunate Mistress (Parts 1 and 2)

the Minories, and acquainted your landlady,the Quaker, where I was, and for what sum I was confined, whoimmediately sent and paid the pretended debt, and so I was a second timedischarged. Upon which, going to the Quaker's to return her my thankssoon after a letter from your lady to her, with a direction in it whereto find you, falling into my hands, I set out the next morning for theHague; and I humbly hope your pardon, my lord, for the liberty I havetaken; and you may be assured, that whatever circumstances of life Ihappen to be in, I will be no disgrace to your lordship or family."

  "Well," said my husband, "what can you say of your mother's secondchild, who, I hear, was a son?"

  "My lord," said I, "it is in my power to tell you, that Thomas there isthe son you mention; their circumstances are the same, with thisdifference, that she was brought up under the care of a good aunt, andthe boy forced to run away from a bad one, and shift for his bread eversince; so if she is my daughter, he is my son, and to oblige you, mylord, I own her, and to please myself I will own him, and they two arebrother and sister." I had no sooner done speaking, than Thomas felldown before me, and asked my blessing, after which, he addressed himselfto my lord as follows:

  "My lord," said he, "out of your abundant goodness you took me into yourservice at Dover. I told you then the circumstances I was in, which willsave your lordship much time by preventing a repetition; but, if yourlordship pleases, it shall be carefully penned down, for such a varietyof incidents has happened to me in England, Wales, Scotland, Ireland,Holland, France, and the Isle of Man, in which I have travelled forabout eighteen years past, as may prove an agreeable amusement to you,when you are cloyed with better company; for as I have never beenanything above a common servant, so my stories shall only consist offacts, and such as are seldom to be met with, as they are all in lowlife."

  "Well, Thomas," said my lord, "take your own time to do it, and I willreward you for your trouble."

  "Now, madam," said my lord to my daughter, "if you please to proceed.""My lord," continued she, "my mother's third child, which was adaughter, lived with the relation I did, and got a place to wait upon ayoung lady whose father and mother were going to settle at Boulogne, inFrance; she went with them, and having stayed at this gentleman's (whowas a French merchant) two years, was married to a man with the consentof the family she lived in; and her master, by way of fortune, got himto be master of a French and Holland coaster, and this was the veryperson whose ship you hired to come to Holland in; the captain's wifewas my own sister, consequently my lady's second daughter; as to myyoungest sister, she lived with the uncle and aunt Thomas ran away from,and died of the smallpox soon after. My youngest brother was put outapprentice to a carpenter, where he improved in his business, till agentlewoman came to his master and mistress (which I take by thedescription they gave me, to be Mrs. Amy), who had him put out to aneducation fit for a merchant, and then sent him to the Indies, where heis now settled, and in a fair way to get a large estate. This, my lord,is the whole account I can at present give of them, and although it mayseem very strange, I assure you, it is all the just truth."

  When she had finished her discourse, my lord turned to me, and said,that since I that was her mother had neglected doing my duty, thoughsought so much after, he would take it upon himself to see both the girland Thomas provided for, without any advising or letting me knowanything about them; and added, with a malicious sneer, "I must takecare of the child I have had by you too, or it will have but anindifferent parent to trust to in case of my decease."

  This finished the discourse, and my lord withdrew into his study, in ahumour that I am unable to describe, and left me, Amy, Thomas, and mydaughter Susanna, as I must now call her, in the parlour together. Wesat staring at each other some time, till at last Amy said, "I suppose,my lady, you have no farther business with your new daughter; she hastold her story, and may now dispose of herself to the best advantage shecan." "No," said I, "I have nothing to say to her, only that she shallnever be admitted into my presence again." The poor girl burst out intotears, and said, "Pray, my lady, excuse me, for I am certain that wereyou in my circumstances, you would have done the very action I have, andwould expect a pardon for committing the offence."

  After this, I said to Thomas, "Keep what has been said to yourself, andI shall speak to you by-and-by;" and then I withdrew, and went upstairsto my closet, leaving Amy with Susanna, who soon dismissed her, andfollowed me.

  When Amy came to me, "Now, my lady," says she, "what do you think ofthis morning's work? I believe my lord is not so angry as we werefearful of." "You are mistaken in your lord, Amy," said I, "and are notso well acquainted with the deep and premeditated revenge of Dutchmen asI am, and although it may not be my husband's temper, yet I dread it asmuch, but shall see more at dinner time."

  Soon after this, my husband called Thomas, and bid him order the clothfor his dinner to be laid in his study, and bid him tell his mother thathe would dine by himself. When I heard this, I was more shocked than Ihad been yet. "Now his anger begins to work, Amy," said I, "how must Iact?" "I do not know," answered she, "but I will go into the study, andtry what can be done, and, as a faithful mediator, will try to bring youtogether." She was not long before she returned, and bursting intotears, "I know not what to do," says she, "for your husband is in a deepstudy, and when I told him you desired him to dine with you in theparlour as usual, he only said, 'Mrs. Amy, go to your lady, tell her todine when and where she pleases, and pray obey her as your lady; but lether know from me that she has lost the tenderness I had for her as awife, by the little thought she had of her children.'"

  Nothing could have shocked me more than the delivery of this message byAmy. I, almost bathed in tears, went to him myself; found him in amelancholy posture reading in Milton's "Paradise Regained." He looked atme very sternly when I entered his study, told me he had nothing to sayto me at that time, and if I had a mind not to disturb him, I must leavehim for the present. "My lord," said I, "supposing all that has beensaid by this girl was truth, what reason have you to be in thisunforgiving humour? What have I done to you to deserve this usage? Haveyou found any fault with me since I had the happiness of being marriedto you? Did you ever find me in any company that you did not approve of?Have you any reason to think that I have wasted any of your substance?If you have none of these things to allege against me, for heaven's sakedo not let us now make our lives unhappy, for my having had legitimatechildren by a lawful husband, at a time that you think it no crime tohave had a natural son by me, which I had the most reason to repent of."

  I spoke the latter part of these words with a small air of authority,that he might think me the less guilty; but, I believe, he only lookedon what I had said as a piece of heroism; for he soon after deliveredhimself in the following speech: "Madam, do you not think that you haveused me in a very deceitful manner? If you think that I have not hadthat usage, I will, in a few words, prove the contrary. When first Iknew you, soon after the jeweller's death at Paris, you never mentioned,in all that intricate affair I was engaged in for you, so much as yourhaving any children; that, as your circumstances then were, could havedone you no harm, but, on the contrary, it would have moved thecompassion of your bitter enemy the Jew, if he had any. Afterwards, whenI first saw you in London, and began to treat with you about marriage,your children, which, to all prudent women, are the first thingsprovided for, were so far neglected as not to be spoken of, though minewere mentioned to you; and as our fortunes were very considerable, yoursmight very well have been put into the opposite scale with them. Anothergreat piece of your injustice was when I offered to settle your ownfortune upon yourself, you would not consent to it; I do not look onthat piece of condescension out of love to me, but a thorough hatred youhad to your own flesh and blood; and lastly, your not owning yourdaughter, though she strongly hinted who she was to you when she wastwice in your company, and even followed you from place to place whileyou were in England. Now, if you can reconcile this piece of inhumanitywith yourself, pray try what you can say to me
about your never tellingme the life you led in Pall Mall, in the character of Roxana? Youscrupled to be happily married to me, and soon after came to England,and was a reputed whore to any nobleman that would come up to yourprice, and lived with one a considerable time, and was taken by severalpeople to be his lawful wife. If any gentleman should ask me what I havetaken to my bed, what must I answer? I must say an inhuman false-heartedwhore, one that had not tenderness enough to own her own children, andhas too little virtue, in my mind, to make a good wife.

  "I own I would," says he, "have settled your own estate upon you withgreat satisfaction, but