The Genius Wars

  ‘Who’s that?’ Devin had spotted Gazo. ‘It’s not the copper, is it?’

  ‘Of course not. This is Gazo. Don’t you remember him?’

  ‘Nuh.’ Throwing off his covers, Devin revealed a little more of himself. Though he still wore his trademark black beanie and drab sweatshirt, he had definitely lost weight; his cheeks were no longer plump, and there was a sharp edge to his bristling jaw. ‘Who sent you?’ he asked, rising unsteadily. ‘Did you come to chuck me out? Is that it?’

  ‘As a matter of fact, I came to move in,’ Cadel replied. ‘I didn’t know you were here already.’

  ‘Yeah?’ Devin rubbed his bleary eyes, staggering a little.

  ‘I’m on the run,’ Cadel added. And Devin gave a snort.

  ‘Join the club,’ he said.

  ‘Not from the police. From Prosper English.’ Seeing Devin blink, Cadel started to elaborate. ‘Prosper’s trying to kill me. By remote control. He’s got a team out there hacking into buses and traffic lights and CCTV cameras –’

  ‘Wait. Hang on. Just give me a sec,’ Devin pleaded. ‘I’ve gotta go have a slash.’

  As he stumbled off towards the basement bathroom, Cadel turned to Gazo with a question.

  ‘You remember Devin, don’t you? He was in Genius Squad. One of the Wieneke twins.’

  ‘Yeah,’ said Gazo. He didn’t seem very enthusiastic. ‘I remember.’

  ‘Looks like he’s got a network connection set up, so I can bring down my laptop after all,’ Cadel continued. Then the flush of a toilet reached his ears. ‘Sounds like he’s got running water, too.’

  ‘I dunno, Cadel.’ Gazo was gazing around at the general disorder. ‘Are you sure you wanna stay? This bloke’s gotta be bent – he’s probably nicked all this gear.’

  ‘Probably,’ Cadel had to acknowledge.

  ‘What if he’s working for Prosper English?’ Gazo said quietly. But Cadel shook his head.

  ‘I doubt it.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Because he’s squatting in a basement. He can’t be getting paid, if he’s squatting in a basement.’ Cadel spotted a half-eaten hamburger lying near his feet. ‘Besides,’ he concluded, ‘Prosper wouldn’t want to be relying on someone like Devin. He’s too … I dunno … too teenaged.’

  ‘What’s too teenaged?’ asked Devin, emerging from the bathroom. He was fiddling with his fly. ‘Are you talking about my games, by any chance? You’re such a snob, man, you’re just like Lexi. I’m allowed to play teenage games. I’m seventeen, for Chrissake – I am a teenager.’

  ‘Where did you get them?’ Cadel welcomed the chance to ask about the loose clump of DVD cases that lay at his feet. ‘What are you now, a cat burglar? This stuff must have cost quite a bit.’

  ‘It did. But it’s all paid for,’ said Devin. ‘Except that one. That was a freebie.’ He pointed to the little USB rocket launcher plugged into one of his laptops. ‘They sent it to me as a thankyou, for buying so much of their other stuff. I should really take it apart – see if I can get any more range out of it.’

  ‘But where did all the money come from?’ Cadel demanded.

  Devin smirked.

  ‘I’m like Robin Hood,’ he said. ‘I rob from the rich to give to the poor. Which is me. I’m poor.’

  Gazo pulled a long face. As a former student of the Axis Institute, he had developed a profound aversion to thieves and conmen. Cadel, however, kept his own expression blank.

  ‘What are we talking about, exactly?’ he asked Devin. ‘Identity theft?’

  Devin shrugged, as if to imply that identity theft was no big deal. ‘There are plenty of bastards out there who are so rich that they don’t even notice they’ve been robbed,’ he answered, a little defensively. ‘Like Rex Austin, for instance. My landlord. Remember him?’ A sweeping gesture encompassed the entire contents of the War Room. ‘A lot of this stuff is courtesy of Rex.’

  ‘Account numbers?’ Cadel hazarded. ‘Passwords?’

  ‘Stuff like that.’

  ‘Did Lexi help you?’

  ‘A bit.’ Devin had always been loath to give his sister credit for anything. He quickly changed the subject. ‘Do you want some breakfast? There’s leftover pizza in the fridge.’

  But Cadel wouldn’t be sidetracked. ‘Where’s Lexi?’ he wanted to know. ‘Does she live here too?’

  ‘In this hole? Are you kidding?’ Tugging at the waistband of his jeans (which were too large for him, now that he’d lost so much weight), Devin moved towards the refrigerator. ‘She lives with her friends, at party central. Still off the grid, but where the action is. Calls herself “Jessamine”.’ Devin’s tone dripped with scorn. ‘She’s so full of herself.’

  ‘I need her help with some encrypted codes,’ said Cadel. ‘Do you think she’d come here to see me?’

  ‘I guess so.’

  ‘Can you ask her? It’s urgent.’

  Devin was hauling a greasy pizza box out of the bar fridge. ‘She’d have to do it at night,’ he rejoined. ‘Otherwise the neighbours might see her come in.’

  ‘That’s okay. I need some sleep anyway.’ Cadel suddenly realised how exhausted he was. ‘I didn’t get a wink, last night.’

  ‘You can use my bed if you want.’ Devin was sniffing at a limp slice of pepperoni pizza. It seemed to meet with his approval, because he stuffed half of it into his mouth.

  Not wishing to be sprayed with masticated pepperoni, Cadel decided to break off his conversation with Devin and talk to Gazo, instead.

  ‘Can you get my laptop out of the car?’ Cadel requested. ‘And my green bag? I’d do it myself, but I have to write a note for Sonja.’

  ‘Really?’ Gazo perked up a little; he had been gloomily watching a cockroach scuttle across the floor. ‘What are you gunna say?’

  ‘I’ll tell her I’m okay, and that I’m sorting things out,’ Cadel replied. ‘The message will be encoded. You can take it to her when you visit the hospital, then destroy it afterwards.’

  ‘But –’

  ‘I won’t tell her where I am. I’ll just ask her to spread the news that I haven’t been kidnapped, and that nobody needs to panic.’ Seeing Gazo frown, Cadel offered reassurance. ‘She can pretend I talked to her on my way out, last night, so you won’t get in trouble.’

  ‘But she’s going home today,’ Gazo reminded him.

  ‘Then you can visit her at Judith’s.’ Cadel cast about him for something to write with – and on. ‘You’d better hurry, though,’ he finished. ‘If you don’t return that Corolla soon, someone’ll see it’s gone. And then you will get in trouble.’

  ‘Ubusheemamishadee?’ Devin gabbled, through a mouthful of cold pizza. When the other two stared at him, he chewed, swallowed and tried again. ‘Have you seen Hamish, lately?’

  ‘A couple of days ago,’ said Cadel. ‘Prosper put him in hospital, too. But he’s out now.’

  ‘Yeah?’ Devin didn’t seem particularly disturbed by Hamish’s plight. ‘How did that happen?’

  ‘I’ll tell you in a minute. I have to write this note, first.’ Once again, Cadel appealed to Gazo. ‘Please can I have my computer? I’ll be done by the time you get back, and then you can take off for good.’

  ‘For good?’ echoed Gazo, his brow puckering. ‘But I gotta check up on you, Cadel. Later on. Tonight, maybe.’

  ‘No.’ Cadel shook his head.

  ‘I’ll sneak in. I’ll be careful.’

  ‘Careful isn’t enough. Not against someone like Prosper English.’ Though Gazo’s wounded expression was discomforting, Cadel refused to back down. ‘He’s gunning for me, Gazo, and for anyone who’s close to me. I don’t want you ending up in hospital like the others.’

  ‘Oh. Right,’ Devin interposed, rather thickly. There was a wad of pizza dough wedged into his cheek. ‘You don’t want him ending up in hospital, but it doesn’t matter if I do.’

  ‘You won’t,’ Cadel promised. ‘I haven’t had anything to do with you for months. Prosper won’t be watching you, be
cause he’s interested in me. He won’t even know I’m here.’

  ‘Unless he’s had you followed,’ Devin pointed out, in a sarcastic tone. Cadel, however, was adamant.

  ‘No one followed me,’ he insisted.

  ‘That you know of.’ Devin was obviously relishing the chance to argue; perhaps he was missing Lexi, who was his usual sparring partner. ‘Didn’t you say something about CCTV cameras? What if you were tracked?’

  ‘I’m supposed to be dead,’ said Cadel, bluntly. ‘And if I’m dead I can’t be moving around, can I? So why would anyone be trying to track me?’

  There was a stunned silence. Even Devin looked startled. Finally Gazo found his voice.

  ‘What – what do you mean, you’re supposed to be dead?’ he stammered. ‘Who finks you’re dead?’

  ‘The hospital computer system. Which is where Vee will be getting most of his information, now that I’ve been admitted.’ Cadel turned back to Devin. ‘There aren’t any CCTV cameras inside that hospital. You only pass them at the access points. And when I left, I was in disguise.’

  ‘As what? A body in a bag?’ Devin gave a wet snort, like someone trying to suppress a honk of laughter. ‘What is it with you?’ he said. ‘It’s like you’re in a weird action movie, with all these Marvel-comic crooks constantly on your tail. How come you get to have all the fun, while I’m stuck down here in a basement?’

  Cadel’s jaw tightened. He fixed Devin with a frosty glare, his eyes narrowing, and said, ‘I’m glad you think this is fun. Personally, I don’t enjoy seeing my friends picked off like clay pigeons.’

  ‘Yeah, yeah. Whatever.’ Flapping a careless hand, Devin focused his attention on Gazo. ‘So if you’re leaving now, can I get a lift? Or am I not meant to be associating with a member of the Cadel Piggott support group, these days? Seeing as how you’ve all got big fat targets painted on your butts.’

  Before Gazo could even open his mouth, Cadel jumped in.

  ‘Cadel Greeniaus,’ he snapped.

  ‘Huh?’

  ‘It’s not Piggott, it’s Greeniaus,’ said Cadel. Then he picked up a novelty Star Wars pen and began to scribble his message to Sonja on the back of an instruction book.

  TWENTY-THREE

  Cadel was having a nightmare. In it, he was walking down a hospital corridor, past one dimly lit room after another. The patients in these rooms were all people he had known at the Axis Institute, and most were badly injured. Clive Slaughter, for example, was burned to a crisp. Abraham Coggins lay bleeding from every pore. Jemima had a fractured skull. Doris was missing part of her face. Adolf had been blown to pieces, all of which had been loosely stitched back together and tucked into a hospital bed.

  Though Adolf’s tongue was now in tatters, it still worked. He was begging Cadel to get him out – and he wasn’t the only one. Hisses and croaks and whimpers followed Cadel down the corridor, as he tried desperately to escape. But the corridor opened into another corridor, and then another, and another, until suddenly he hit a dead end.

  When he turned around, Prosper English was blocking his path. Prosper wore a tweedy jacket and a wolfish grin. ‘Come with me,’ he said, crooking one bony finger. ‘I’ll show you the way.’

  Behind him, some of the patients were crawling out of their rooms: blackened Clive, bleeding Abraham, reconstituted Adolf. ‘Cadel,’ they were groaning. ‘Cadel … Cadel …’

  ‘CADEL!’

  Cadel woke with a start. He was lying on his stomach, and someone was prodding his shoulder. The watch on his wrist said 13:42.

  Twisting around, he saw that the shoulder-prodder was a plump, red-haired girl in an apple-green suit. Her legs were clad in white stockings, and her feet in a pair of low-heeled brown pumps. According to the embroidered tag on her breast pocket, she worked for C & P Real Estate, and her name was Sandra.

  But it wasn’t. Not really. Because when Cadel studied her face, he recognised her small dark eyes and her piercings. Though he was used to seeing her dressed all in black, without the wig or the green eye shadow, he still knew who she was.

  ‘Lexi?’ he mumbled.

  ‘Surpri-ise!’ She dropped onto the mattress beside him, then planted a firm, wet kiss on his brow. ‘Bet you weren’t expecting me!’

  Cadel wiped his forehead. He felt dazed and disoriented. ‘It’s not night-time, is it?’ he asked, sitting up.

  Lexi giggled.

  ‘No one’s going to report me for trespassing, don’t worry,’ she said. ‘This is the perfect disguise.’ She glanced down at herself with a grimace. ‘It’s gross, but it’s perfect. I borrowed it from a friend.’

  ‘So – so you’re not an estate agent?’ Cadel stammered.

  ‘Are you kidding? As if!’

  ‘She brought her friend’s car with her,’ Devin interjected. He was sprawled across his beanbag. ‘It’s green, like the suit.’

  ‘It’s a company car,’ Lexi explained, correcting him. ‘It’s got “C & P” on the door. I parked it right out front, like I’ve got nothing to hide.’ She beamed at Cadel. ‘Aren’t I clever? I couldn’t wait around till dark, I was dying to see you. You haven’t changed a bit – my God, you’re still wearing that crap fleece hoodie …’

  ‘Can you help me with some decoding?’ Cadel’s muzzy head was beginning to clear. It occurred to him that he had spent half a day sleeping, and that he shouldn’t waste yet more time beating around the bush. ‘I’ve got a couple of things off a computer that tried to self-destruct, and a lot of it’s just wreckage,’ he explained, getting straight to the point. ‘But I’m pretty sure there’s uncorrupted text in there – and I can’t ask Sonja, because she’s in hospital.’

  ‘Oh, is she?’ Lexi didn’t sound terribly concerned. ‘I suppose she’s in and out of hospital all the time, being spastic and everything. Best place for her, probably.’ As Cadel opened his mouth to protest, Lexi ploughed on, oblivious. ‘But what’s this about you being in hospital?’ she said. ‘Devin was talking about Prosper English, and CCTV cameras – I couldn’t understand one single word.’

  ‘That’s because you’re thick,’ Devin growled.

  ‘No, it’s because you’re thick,’ Lexi retorted. ‘You’re like an ape, or something. Monosyllabic.’

  ‘At least I don’t have verbal diarrhoea. At least it’s not blahblah-blah all day long.’

  ‘Just because you don’t have any friends to talk to –’

  ‘Hey,’ Cadel interposed. He knew that if he didn’t step in, the twins would start to throw things at each other. ‘Can we not waste time arguing? Please? I’ve got enough to worry about.’

  ‘Aww,’ said Devin, sarcastically. ‘Izza poor liddle baby gunna cry?’

  Lexi was more sympathetic. She draped a pudgy arm around Cadel’s neck; the smell of her perfume was almost suffocating.

  ‘You don’t have to worry any more,’ she cooed. ‘I’m here now, and I even brought lunch, so you won’t get food poisoning from Devin’s leftovers.’

  ‘Says the person who once tried to feed us hot-dog soup!’ her brother yelped. ‘Says the person who’s had maggots in her breadbin!’

  ‘You wouldn’t know a breadbin if you fell into one,’ Lexi scoffed. ‘You wouldn’t know a fork if it came up and introduced itself!’

  ‘Would you two just stop it?’ Cadel staggered to his feet, shrugging off Lexi’s arm. ‘I don’t have time for this. Prosper’s trying to kill me. If you want to fight, then do me a favour and go somewhere else. I don’t need the distraction.’ He suddenly spotted an unfamiliar computer bag. It was pink, and had badges all over it. ‘Is that your laptop?’ he asked Lexi.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘So you’re going to stay and help?’

  ‘Of course I am!’ Her tone was impatient. ‘I went to a lot of trouble, you know! Did you think I was just going to blow you a kiss and bugger off again?’

  Cadel mumbled his thanks. Though grateful, he was also feeling a bit overwhelmed. It had been a long time since his last meeting with
Lexi, and he had forgotten how exhausting she could be. She was always shrieking and bouncing around, intruding on people’s conversations and personal space. What’s more, she seemed to regard Cadel as a cross between a pet and a pin-up. He was constantly having to peel her off him, and that could get quite irritating, after a while.

  ‘If you stay here,’ he said, ‘Devin will have to go.’ As Devin opened his mouth to object, Cadel quickly elaborated. ‘I don’t mean that you can’t be in the same room together. I just mean that a real estate agent wouldn’t be staying here for hours and hours. A plumber might, but not an estate agent.’

  Devin swallowed. ‘So you’re saying –’

  ‘That you’ll have to leave in the green car. Wearing the green clothes,’ Cadel confirmed. ‘That’s if you can drive, of course.’

  Lexi snickered. Her brother scowled.

  ‘I’m not dressing up in that,’ he said, glaring at her suit and stockings. ‘No way.’

  ‘If you don’t, someone might get suspicious,’ Cadel pointed out.

  ‘I don’t care.’

  ‘You mean you want the police to come poking around?’ Lexi demanded. ‘Because they will, Devin. Cadel’s right. If that car stays outside for more than an hour, someone’s going to think I’ve fallen downstairs and broken my neck.’

  ‘Then you shouldn’t have left it there!’ Devin raged. ‘This is all your fault, you idiot! You should have waited till tonight! I told you to come at night! Why don’t you ever listen to me?’

  ‘Because you’re not worth listening to, that’s why!’ Lexi was on her feet by this time, and so was her brother. But Cadel stepped between them.

  ‘Stop,’ he snapped.

  ‘But –’

  ‘Shut up!’ He turned on Devin, his eyes narrowed, his face white. ‘Two of the people closest to me are in hospital. My home has been flattened. I’ve become a target for every bus and traffic light and CCTV camera in the country. Do you think I’m going to put up with this kind of crap?’

  ‘Hey,’ said Devin. ‘I’m doing you a favour –’

  ‘Oh, really? How? Since when did this basement belong to you?’ Before Devin could respond, Cadel launched into a rapidfire harangue. ‘Somebody’s got to leave right now. And if Lexi does it, then I’ll have to go with her, because I need her help. Which means that she’ll become a target. Do you want her to become a target?’