Liar

  I touched a hand towel to dry myself quickly. “Nothing,” I said. I turned and shoved my arms across my stomach, leaning back against the counter. “The room is freezing.”

  “So you come in here?”

  “And I don’t like hotel rooms.”

  “It’s not the same hotel,” he said. “You don’t like taking a vacation?”

  “I’ve never been on one,” I said. “And we’re not on vacation.”

  He stepped forward. I stood still as he positioned himself in front of me. His head tilted down as he gazed at my face. He was quiet for so long, I wasn’t sure what he wanted from me. He was staring at me, waiting me out.

  I was throwing my anger at him, and I was angry because I hated the lies piling up. I hated being a complete hypocrite, which is what I was becoming. Worse than a thief, was a liar.

  I rubbed at the goose bumps on my arms, and tilted my head away. “Can I ask you something?”

  I sensed his dark eyes staying with my face. His voice deepened. “Anything.”

  I wanted to drill him about the Academy. I didn’t want to wait to snoop for answers. I didn’t like being in the dark, but I didn’t know where to start.

  Silence filled the space between us. When I finally met his gaze, he was as I’d seen him last, staring at me, the same expression. Patient.

  His eyes drifted up, toward my hair. “You know,” he said quietly and then reached toward a kit one of the boys left in the bathroom. He unzipped it, drawing out a brush. “When I was younger, my mother used to sit me on the bed and she’d brush my hair and talked to me. It was the one thing that calmed me when I was angry.”

  “You want me to brush your hair?” I asked.

  He smirked. “Turn around.”

  I wasn’t the sort to play dress up with the girls, or let other people do it for me. Letting other people cut my hair was bad enough.

  Strangely, I obeyed Axel. I felt compelled to comply. I told myself I was trying to gain his trust, but a deeper part of me was curious.

  Axel lifted the brush to my scalp. He collected the long strands and started to brush. I watched through the mirror as he focused on my hair. He started slowly, working out tangles, the gentle scrape and tug of the brush mesmerizing.

  He grazed his fingertips lightly along my neck, sometimes my shoulders.

  The movements were soothing. The tight ball of tension in my stomach started to relax, and my mind drifted to an almost sleepy state.

  “Tell me about the scar,” he said quietly.

  He was talking about the one on my butt, the one I’d avoided talking about before. “No,” I said. Because if I talked about it, he’d ask a lot of questions and I didn’t want to think about right now.

  “Your father or your boyfriend? Ex-boyfriend?” he asked.

  I grunted, tilting my head away from his brushing.

  He lifted his hand from my shoulder, putting his palm against the side of my head, close to my ear, drawing my head back in a gentle, warm touch. “Which one?” he asked a little louder.

  What an ass. He waited until I was vulnerable, and couldn’t run and he was going to corner me with something that didn’t matter? Did he really need to know that bad? “Ex-boyfriend,” I said sharply, trying to make it clear I hated this. “Wasn’t even a boyfriend. Just someone I was on a date with once.”

  “He tried to rape you?” he asked.

  My hands clenched into fists and I stared through my hair that was draped over part of my face, staring at the sink. My lips stiffened against my teeth as I clenched my jaw.

  He put the brush down on the counter. With both hands, he combed his fingers through my hair, massaging my scalp. This way, he redirected my eyes again, until I was looking at him through the mirror. “But he didn’t succeed,” he said, his gaze meeting mine.

  My heart thundered against my ribs. “How do you know?” I asked.

  “You’re not that broken,” he said.

  Not that broken. He thought I was broken, but not that much. My jaw dropped and I accidentally sucked in air at the same time, catching some hair into my mouth. I spit it out and clawed at my hair to get it out of my face.

  “Stop,” he said. He collected the strands and drew them back, trying to gather my hair into a ponytail.

  I glared at him through the mirror. “Stop talking like you know everything about me.”

  “I didn’t know for sure until now.”

  Damn. He had me reacting. He didn’t have to know, he just guessed and depending on how I responded, he got his answer. “Don’t tell the other guys.”

  “You’re not interested in any of them?”

  I didn’t know how to react to this, because I didn’t know the answer myself. Marc, Brandon and Raven had expressed so much interest, that they were just waiting for me to confirm in some way. There was Blake, waiting on the sidelines, thinking I was teamed up with him now. I was stuck in the middle. I didn’t know where I belonged.

  It was all wrong. I’d let things go too far. My feelings were so conflicted. I felt so strongly about them all, I couldn’t decide. It killed me every time I thought about it. Every moment I waited, it was becoming too late to turn back.

  I closed my eyes, forcing Axel out. “I don’t need to make things worse,” I whispered.

  Axel dropped his hands and stood behind me quietly. When I opened my eyes again, he was gazing at me through the mirror. His eyes dropped, and from the way his head tilted, it seemed like he was gazing at my cheek, my neck. He was close enough that I felt this breath warming my skin.

  “Are they fighting over you?” he asked quietly.

  Heat rushed through my body. It was like he actually knew what was going on, and wanted me to confirm. “Not yet.” Maybe even not for long, if they ever knew the truth, and found out what I was really up to. If they ever found out about each other, about how close I’d let some of them get, that would be it. The different sides pulling me in all directions was wearing on me.

  His hand lifted, and caught my chin. He tilted my face until I was looking over my shoulder at him. The swell of a storm rose behind his gaze. “I’ll end it. Right here, if you want me to.”

  I didn’t know how to respond, but his answer put me in a panic. Would he tell the guys about what was happening? Would he call them off? Demand his team leave me alone? Would that even work?

  Did I want that?

  It wasn’t until his eyes lowered to my mouth that I realized that wasn’t what he meant at all.

  My insides vibrated, sensing him so close, half naked behind me with his hands on my face. His thumb traced over the edge of my jaw. His nose lowered closer to my neck. He hovered there for so long. Waiting.

  I lifted my gaze deliberately. He drew his head back a notch, meeting my eyes again. Silently, I told him I didn’t know what I wanted. I was a mess. In the quiet span between us were a hundred little different roadblocks, all created by lies, shrouded in secrecy because of this Academy.

  What was Axel doing to me? He seemed so aloof at times, but he was getting closer than the others, digging out my feelings with just a question and a stare. As much as I resisted, he pushed me into admitting all sorts of crazy things. He knew more of me than the others did. He had my heart pulsing, pleading with me to just give up, to submit and let myself be happy for once. Could I ever stop fighting long enough to let anyone else in?

  “I don’t know,” I said, and my voice shook with every syllable.

  The corner of his mouth dipped down. His eyes shifted from mine to all over my face, my hair, my cheeks, my lips, my ears. “This is dangerous,” he said quietly. “You’re dangerous. Maybe Kevin was right.”

  Kevin? He barely knew me and he told them I was dangerous. I didn’t have an answer. I just stared back, daring, feeling stripped naked under his scrutiny.

  He sighed, shaking his head. “We’re already done for. I get why you tried to leave, but now you’re back. There’s no escaping anymore.”

  “Didn’t ask for t
his to happen,” I said. “I’ll leave, if you want. Tell me to hop a train or a boat and disappear. If that’s the answer, if that’s the smart thing to do—” To be honest, it was my first instinctive answer to any of this. The last two times I’d done it though, I’d failed and returned. I thought if Axel told me it was the right thing, I’d do it. I was worried about my brother, but it felt like I was putting him in more danger staying than I was just running off.

  His hand lifted, tracing the edge of my cheek with a corner of his fingernail, scratching slightly as he drew his fingers across my skin. The small touch tugged my heart with it. “No,” he said. “It was inevitable, I think. If you leave now, most of my team would follow. Including me.”

  I stared at him, trying to figure out that last part. I was begging him silently to tell me what it all meant. Was it really too late for me? Did I know too much that they’d have to hunt me down if I tried to run?

  “You?” I whispered.

  Axel’s hand dropped and he backed up a step. He took my elbow, turning until I faced him. At first, I kept my head lowered and stared at his chest, his collarbone, anything else.

  His finger curled around my chin and lifted.

  I made the mistake of meeting his eyes and then looking down toward his mouth, his parting lips, at the soft shadow of stubble along his jawline. It made his masculine jaw and high cheek bones dark, alluring. From him, I felt the calmness I craved to feel, the surety of knowing who he was. He seemed to be in total control of everything. It was all I wanted for myself.

  His head dipped down until his nose touched mine.

  “Stop me,” he said, and while his voice was soft, it had all the severity he’d ever had before. He was commanding me.

  I didn’t answer. I didn’t encourage him, either.

  He inched forward. His lips grazed across my lower lip. “Last chance,” he whispered.

  This was a definite warning. If I didn’t back off now, I was diving in as deep as I had with Marc and the others, and Axel wouldn’t wait for an answer. Now or never.

  God help me, I couldn’t get myself to push him away. I was in this far, and I wanted to risk it all. I wanted to go over the edge. He was here, offering me everything. Axel, the confident leader. He knew some of the darker secrets of my past, and here he was still, offering to take me in, to make me his.

  My insides vibrated so hard, my body rocked with it. Flashes of memories swept over me of the time in his bedroom, his hand with mine, swimming through tiny glowing creatures in a tank, and then later when he taught me how to shoot a gun, and the smile he’d had when he found out I wasn’t half bad.

  Then there was the time I was waiting in the hospital with him when he had begged me then not to run off.

  While I was thinking, with my feelings so overwhelming, threatening to drown me where I stood, Axel lowered his mouth to mine.

  His lips decided for me.

  Even as he kissed me, I hesitated for a minute. It was the vibrations inside of me spinning out of control now. My whole body seemed to shake until my bones knocked so hard into each other, it was painful.

  His lips glided against my mouth, encompassing me. He surrounded me, pulling me in tighter against my shaking body, his hands firm to still me. I lifted my hands to his shoulders, placing my palms against him. I could have pushed him away.

  He was so steady, stable, a rock against the waves.

  My hands glided up, toward his neck. My fingertips trailed up, combing into his hair.

  Finally, I parted my lips, kissing back. His allure was calling to me, and I was surrendering.

  I wanted him to make me believe.

  His lips opened more as he returned the kiss, stronger this time. Confident. Steady. He tilted his head over a little as he pulled up on the kiss, and then dove back in, taking my lower lip between his.

  His hands met with my back, arms enveloping me, responding to my shaking. His body pushed up to mine, his chest pressed hard up against my breasts.

  I pressed back against him, drawn to his warmth, stealing it from his body. As close as I was, I didn’t seem close enough. I stood, on tiptoe, leaning against him and my arms encircled his neck, clinging.

  A hardness at his groin pushed up against my crotch.

  Out of instinct, I arched my hips forward, pressing myself against him. Desire was growing inside me, too, and I hadn’t realized how much I needed it until now.

  Axel pulled back on the kiss, breathing against my mouth for a moment.

  My eyes fluttered open, and I caught those dark eyes looking back at me through half open lids, asking silently one last time if I wanted to stop this.

  But it was too late for me.

  He drew back more, and took my hand. He squeezed it gently and started walking toward the door of the bathroom, taking me with him.

  My heart was in my throat then, wondering his intentions. His boxers tented out, clearly telling me his feelings. Would I go so far?

  Corey and Marc were in bed nearby. Within the confines of the bathroom, I felt safe kissing him without the others knowing. Being exposed, I hesitated, because despite wanting to be with Axel, I still felt a tug toward Marc, and I didn’t want Corey to know. I wasn’t sure where the others had run off to, but I didn’t want them walking in on us.

  Axel reached for the bathroom light, turning it off before he opened the door.

  Axel found the door between the bedroom and living areas and closed it quietly. I’d forgotten about that. We would be slightly protected.

  My heart was still pounding. The bathroom was on our end. If either woke up and came through to use it, or heard us...

  Axel guided me by the hand toward the bed that had been pulled out from the couch. With a twist, he turned me and then gently pushed to encourage me in.

  I crawled across, far enough toward the wall, thinking I’d have some cover if someone decided to come in.

  Axel reached for the small lamp on the low table beside the couch. He clicked it off.

  As my eyes tried to adjust to the dark, the covers were drawn back. Axel found my hips and tugged.

  Before I could settle closer, his hand found my face.

  His mouth claimed my lips.

  Warmth flooded through me with his body again pressed against mine. He twisted the bed covers around us.

  His kiss was deeper now. Unforgiving. The coarse hair around his lips scratched my face. I clamped my lips against his, welcoming it.

  His hand grasped my waist, holding it for a moment. Slowly, as he leaned in further, it slid downward, toward my butt. He cupped it, and then held on, pulling me in closer. Again his hardness pressed up against my groin. My hips arched forward, grinding up against him.

  His lips parted between kisses long enough for him to breathe against my face. “Kayli,” he whispered. “I’m snipped, but I can grab a condom if you’re worried about—“

  I sucked in a deep breath. “Snipped?” I whispered. I knew what he meant. I simply wasn’t prepared to think that far ahead.

  “All of us are,” he said quietly. “All Academy boys.”

  I pulled back. In the dark, his gaze met mine. “All?” I asked.

  He inclined his head slightly. “We’re given a choice, but around fourteen or so, they’re given an option and it’s paid for. Most of us take it. It’s reversible if we want kids later. Girls are given options for birth control. I just wanted to mention. I can get tested if you’re worried about diseases, or I can go get a condom if you prefer.”

  I don’t know what shocked me more, the fact that all Academy guys were snipped or that he wanted to take things so far tonight, when we’d only really kissed just now. This, however, gave me a good reason to wait. “Axel,” I said quietly, “maybe not tonight. I mean…” I mumbled something, my hands rubbing at his body, afraid to turn him away, because I really needed him close, just not that close. Sex would be a real commitment, and I wasn’t prepared for that. I didn’t want it before I felt I was really head over heel
s.

  I was, in a way, but just the start. I didn’t want to be so conflicted. I couldn’t do it without the guilt I felt about the others, and it would be wrong to do that.

  He leaned in, and kissed my brow. His lips traced over my temple. “I wasn’t sure if I wanted to. Not yet. I want to do this right with you.”

  It was hard to believe I was doing anything right at all.

  I pressed my lips against his again, too afraid to tell him how tempted I was to let go and do it. My heart was pounding too hard, drowning out the words of caution in my head. My hands drifted down from his shoulders, to his chest, feeling the muscles, inching down slowly along his sides. I was exploring with my hands, rooting out the real Axel by touch.

  He knocked my hands away, drawing himself up. He moved until he was hovering over me. He caught my knee as I tried to shift, unsure how he wanted me. He guided my leg to open, parting my thighs so he could kneel between them.

  For a moment, I panicked, because I thought maybe he’d forgotten his promise not to go that far. I sucked in a breath, trying to relax. I’d push him away if he got out of control. I felt I could, at any time, because Axel didn’t seem the type to ignore me if I said no.

  He bent over me, his lips claiming my mouth again. His hand held on to my hips, gripping the clothes tight against me. There was a creak as the fabric strained against my body.

  I clawed at his skin, encouraging. My heart was wild. Maybe I didn’t want sex, but I wanted him to touch me, to touch places that hadn’t been touched in a long time. Just a little.

  He found the lower hem of my shirt, and drew it up, exposing my skin, and his open palm traced warmly along my body.

  I breathed in sharply against his mouth. Axel’s kiss, his touch, his body pressing to mine, smothered every bit of the guilt, leaving only desire. Where I’d been feeling lost and confused, he was surety. When I wasn’t confident, he was telling me what he wanted. He wanted me.

  His palm traced up the edge of my ribs, and then rose higher, until he was cupping my breast.

  His lips moved from mine now, lowering until he was kissing along my jawline. I tried to get him back, to kiss my mouth again, but he ignored it, kissing my neck, nuzzling close to my ear. He tested areas with his mouth.