Finding Kyle

  Only to be really "pushed" away from the door as it opens up on me, some unknown force propelling me gently into my living room.

  I spin around and see Kyle standing in my doorway, his hand on the knob. "You didn't lock your door," he says while staring at me with veiled eyes.

  "I was just getting ready to--"

  "You didn't invite me in," he says gruffly, and then steps inside my house.

  My jaw drops open, because he knows damn well why I didn't invite him in. Because we're friends only, that's why.

  Kyle shuts the door behind him, and then completely confuses me when he says, "Didn't even give me a chance to kiss you goodnight."

  My head spins one full loop before I orient myself. Placing my hands on my hips, I narrow my eyes at him. "You know damn well why you weren't invited in."

  He gives me a sage nod. Without taking his eyes off me, he says, "You're talking about that whole friends thing, right?"

  I roll my eyes. "Yeah... that whole friends thing. You were pretty clear about it."

  Kyle doesn't say anything, but he never takes his eyes off me as he flips the lock on my door. Something about that snicking sound makes my legs feel rubbery. "Yeah, well, I changed my mind about that."

  "What--"

  But I don't get another word out because in one long stride, he's got both of his palms against my face, pulling me halfway up to meet his mouth as he tilts his head down. He strikes fast and hot, immediately seeking a deep, wet connection with our lips and tongues. And I know he likes it because he gives a half-groan of appreciation with a half-snarl of need for something more.

  My brain starts to question whether or not this is a good idea, but my body already made the decision. My arms go tight around his neck, and I plaster myself to his frame. My tongue duels with his, greedy for more.

  As if he's satisfied with my hold on him, he drops his hands and they go to my ass. His palms are huge and his fingers dig in against that crease that separates my butt from my leg. With an effortless heave, he picks me up. My legs automatically wrap around his waist, and then Kyle is spinning me toward the small hallway that leads to my bedroom.

  To. My. Bedroom.

  I tear my mouth from his and pant, "Wait."

  Kyle immediately stops, but his hands grip my butt tighter. He peers down at me... eyes darkened with need and frustration.

  "What are we doing?" I breathe out softly.

  "We're going to fuck," he growls impatiently.

  Admittedly, even though those words are crude, the way he says them hits me straight between my legs. I'm not quite sure what that says about me, but I give a slight shake of my head. "You said you only wanted to be friends. This isn't what friends do."

  "I was wrong about the friend thing then," he mutters impatiently.

  "So we're not friends?" I press him.

  "Yes, we're friends," he says in exasperation. "And soon to be lovers if you're done questioning me."

  "So is this a one-time only thing?" I ask, because even though he's trying to clarify things, I'm not sure I really understand, and that's because Kyle is so freaking complex and mysterious. I can't make any sense of my feelings, so perhaps if I understood where he's coming from, it would be a bit clearer to me.

  "Jane," Kyle says gruffly. The heat in his eyes indicates perhaps more frustration than the sexual promise I'd seen there just seconds ago. "I don't know what the fuck this is. I just know I want you and I'm tired of fighting it, so I'm not going to fight it. I'm giving in and taking what I think you're offering. So do you really have to know more than that? Because if you do, you need to know I don't have the answers. I don't have the answers, so I'll just set you down right now and go home. We'll just be friends, and it will be fine."

  Just the thought of him putting me down and walking out my door freaks me out, and I involuntarily clutch my legs and arms around him tighter while shaking my head. It's with no amount of urgency that I say, "No! Don't put me down. I don't need the answers."

  That's an absolute lie. I so need the answers, but I'll just have to wait for them.

  "My room's to the left," I say as I incline my head that way, because he's looking at me dubiously.

  "Jane," he growls low. "I need to know you're okay with this. I'm not promising you anything but tonight and that I'll make it so fucking good for you, I swear. But that's all I know at this moment. Are you okay with that?"

  My head nods up and down furiously, my arms and legs tightening even more. "Yes," I assure him breathlessly. "I'm okay with it."

  Immediately, the anger and frustration melt from Kyle's face, and a look that I'd characterize as immense relief mixed with extreme hunger replaces it, and that causes flutters in my belly.

  Kyle maneuvers me through the hall and into my bedroom, where his knee goes to the mattress and he lays me down. I release my hold on him and watch as he just stares down at me, one foot still planted solidly on the floor.

  "I know exactly what I'm going to do to you," he whispers as his eyes start to burn hotter. His hand comes out and touches the side of my leg lightly, causing goose pimples to spring up. "I've spent so much time these last few weeks imagining what I'd do to you if I had you in this position that I know down to the fine details how this night is going to play out. And I swear to God, Jane... it's going to be so fucking good."

  A cramp of longing hits me in two places at once. Right in my sex and right in the center of my chest. Those words and the promises of pleasure they held may have been the sexiest, most erotic thing I've ever heard in my life. The look of stark need on his face, and the reverent way he just spoke them, made my heart contract with hope. I know without a doubt Kyle has been missing something in his life by the way in which he's looking at me, and knowing I can fulfill whatever this void is gives me all the feels.

  It gives me the best kind of feels, and I know after tonight, my life is not going to be the same. I'm pretty sure Kyle's won't either.

  CHAPTER 16

  Kyle

  I just promised Jane that I was going to make her feel good, and I intend to keep that promise. I'm rusty as fuck when it comes to giving a woman pleasure, but I didn't lie to her just now when I told her I've been fantasizing about this for some time. I've probably thought up a dozen different scenarios involving Jane, all while jacking off to said fantasies, so I know exactly what I'm going to do to her tonight.

  She stares up at me... eyes wide and trusting. Mouth slightly parted to where I can barely see a peek of her teeth through those full lips that have starred in a few of those fantasies.

  I have to resist the impulse to strip her quickly and take her hard and fast. It's the way I've fucked for so long that I've forgotten the nuances and pleasures of foreplay.

  But tonight, I'm making a change. Jane is a different class of woman, and what I know about her I like. She deserves to feel good, and I want to be the one to give that to her. I want to own that about her.

  I bring my other knee to the mattress and place my palms down beside her shoulders. As I hover over her, I take in every tiny detail of her face. I've never seen green eyes as brilliant as hers. They are now as dark as emeralds, but I've seen them lighten to the shade of mint when she laughs. Even though she's a blonde, her lashes are fairly dark, which make her eyes stand out like beacons brighter than the lighthouse. Her nose is narrow but slopes upward slightly, making her look sassier than I know her to be. And well... those lips. Like I said, they've had top billing in a few fantasies.

  Jane lies below me, completely giving herself over. She's placing a huge responsibility on my shoulders, but I've handled tougher burdens in my life.

  While my fingers itch to touch her and I'm already hard as a rock, I need to start right with Jane.

  So I dip my head down and touch my mouth to hers softly. While I had intended to go gently, the touch of her lips against mine is completely electric, and both of us groan in appreciation.

  I press against her mouth harder before giving her my ton
gue. Again, she groans. A slightly rougher sound rumbles in my chest, filling me with an animal urgency that I know is going to be hard as hell to keep at bay. I want her so badly that I can feel my control already starting to slip, even though all we've done is shared the beginning of a hot kiss.

  In my mind, I know I should slow things down, but Jane doesn't make it any easier by slipping her hands under my t-shirt and snaking them up my torso. The feel of her soft skin against my abs makes my head spin deliriously. She makes a tiny sound of frustration as she tries to push my t-shirt up, but doesn't know how to get it off.

  Not wanting her to suffer, I push up, going to my knees. I peel my shirt off, loving the eagerness with which her eyes roam over my skin. She lingers on my tats and I know I'll answer for them at some point, but then I'm stunned when her eyes drop down to stare at the erection pushing against my jeans. I'm so hard it hurts, and her looking at it makes it hurt even worse.

  Tentatively, Jane's hands come to the top button. She looks up at me for a moment, maybe for permission, I'm not sure. But my throat is so dry that all I can do is swallow hard as I stare back at her.

  She must take my silence as tacit approval for she pops the first button. My cock jumps and tightens as she pops the next, revealing the head of my dick. I watch, mesmerized, as she slowly runs her thumb over the exposed skin.

  Jane lets out a stuttering breath and pops the next button, giving some relief to the ache, but I can't stand this slow torture she's wreaking on me. In a burst of energized need, I bat Jane's hands away before reaching down and hauling her up with my hands under her armpits. I pull her right up to her knees so we're facing each other.

  I note vaguely Jane's flushed cheeks and eyes glimmering at me darkly before I roughly pull her shirt over her head. I toss it over my shoulder as my gaze goes to her chest, and I get my first really good look at her breasts. They're fucking fantastic. Big and round with her nipples poking out hard against the lace of a pale blue bra. The cups sit low on the globes of her tits, pushing them inward and teasing me with cleavage meant to be fucked.

  Which is funny as I'm not really a breast man. My ideal fuck is taking a woman from behind so I don't have deal with kissing her. Just bending her right over a piece of furniture--

  --I walk back into the clubhouse and the scent of sex and pot smack me hard in the face. I'm buzzed as fuck from the joint I'd just smoked outside with Bridger, but I feel like getting really fucked up tonight. The pressure of maintaining this lifestyle, and the stress of being undercover, have made alcohol and drugs a necessary balm. While I can drink like a fish, I at least keep my drug use to a minimum, terrified that type of addiction could impede my long-term judgment. So I look for other ways to get relief, and the best I'd found so far was to fuck myself into oblivion. Luckily, there are enough club whores to keep my dick satisfied.

  My gaze slides to the pool table. One of the whores is naked and bent over it, her legs spread obscenely and her torso tied down to the felt top so she can't move. She lays her cheek on the green baize that's covered with cigarette burns, a blissed-out look on her face. One of my club brothers is fucking her from behind, hips pumping furiously as he races to get off as fast as possible. After all, he's got several other guys waiting behind him to take a chance. No telling how many times this girl has already been fucked tonight, but she loves this shit and asked for it. My brother thrusts hard a few more times before pulling out, snapping the rubber off, and coming all over her ass. My other brothers all yell and cheer him on, and another one steps up--

  A groan of disappointment slithers out of my throat, and I give a hard shake to my head to dispel that memory. No idea why the fuck I'd even think about that disgusting shit when I have the beauty of Jane in front of me. The disappointment is in myself, not only for thinking of that crap, but also because my dick went even harder. It didn't need to get harder because Jane was really all I wanted, yet it did as I thought about taking a woman from behind because that's how you keep distance.

  A searing hot flash of doubt courses through me, and I almost push Jane away. But I'm sidetracked when her hands come to the clasp at the front of her bra. My eyes latch onto those delicate fingers with pale pink polish as they flick open the clasp and peel the lace apart.

  And Christ... her breasts are so fucking perfect as they're revealed to me. Almost as if she's never revealed them to anyone else, or I'll choose to think of it that way, at least. She's offering me the most perfect gift in the world right now, and the last oily feelings of guilt for being sucked into that terrible memory vanish.

  "Kyle?" Jane whispers, and my eyes snap up to hers. "You okay?"

  "Yeah," I say in a rasping voice as I look back at her, but I'm still feeling a little off balance.

  Jane must sense it, because she takes control. She takes my hands in hers and pulls them upward, pressing my palms gently against her tits.

  And fuck... just...

  "Goddamn... you're perfect," I mutter as I squeeze the flesh and her hands fall away. My thumbs graze over her nipples, and Jane's head falls back as she moans in pleasure.

  Apparently, my dick wasn't as hard as it could get, because that moan right there slams into me with brutal force, making me swell so painfully hard I have to drop a hand and tear at the fly to release the remaining buttons to give me relief.

  As soon as my dick springs free, I slip a hand to the back of Jane's head, the other moving from her breast to her lower back, and I pull her back to my mouth. I want to kiss her again, because it's Jane. She's not a woman who I ever want to face away from me.

  Our mouths connect, teeth gnash, and our naked torsos press into each other. We kiss like savages, locked tightly against one another. I can feel her nipples pebbled hard against my chest, and my cock jumps as it's pressed into her belly. I can feel my pre-cum wetting her soft skin, and there's a very real possibility I might just spontaneously explode.

  Needing a tiny bit of space so I can slow this down... so I can savor this a bit more, I pull my mouth away from Jane's and push her gently away from me. Her eyes open slowly and are glazed and feverish looking. Her lips are wet and swollen, and, fuck, I want them wrapped around my dick, but that's going to have to be later. I'd never survive her blowing me.

  "Lay back," I order her gruffly, placing a palm in the center of her chest.

  "Okay," she whispers in acceptance, letting her body drop gracefully back down to the mattress.

  I scramble off the bed and remove my jeans, followed by a quick grab of a condom out of my wallet. I throw that on the bed and then look back to Jane, who is sadly wearing far too many clothes still.

  My palms go to the mattress and I bend over her, placing a tiny kiss to her stomach. Her muscles clench in response. I look up briefly to find her head tilted back and her eyes closed. Without ever taking my gaze off her, I close my lips over her nipple and have to suppress a grin as her eyes shoot open. She groans, and I give a swift, hard suck followed by a gentle lick.

  Jane's hands fly to my head, almost as if she has no control, and she holds me to her breast.

  "Just like that," she murmurs.

  So I let my tongue, teeth, and lips explore the soft skin of her tits and the hard pebbled nipples that are balled tight in pleasure. Jane clasps my head, unwilling to let me go. She moans and writhes under me, but I find myself wanting more from her.

  My hand slides down her belly. I feel her muscles once again leap and bunch under my touch. When my fingers hit the waistband of her shorts, Jane's body goes utterly still with anticipation. I lift my head up to look at her and find her watching me intently. I don't let my eyes drop, but hold her pinned while my fingers work at her button, then her zipper. I stare into those emerald orbs that are blazing with desire and slip my fingers into her panties.

  Our gazes stay locked as the pads of my fingers skim through her hair before dragging lightly through her folds. Jane sucks in a breath and holds it deep, never once letting her eyes drop as she waits to see what
I'll do. When I circle just the tip of my index finger on her clit, her hips shoot off the bed and her neck arches. She cries out, and that is just the fucking sexiest thing I've ever seen.

  I want to see it again.

  All of it.

  "Help me get your shorts off," I order her as I start to pull the material down, along with her panties. She works one side while I get the other, and soon, I'm tossing the last of her clothing to the floor. I take a moment to let my eyes glide down her perfect body as I press my hand between her legs. I tilt my head to look at Jane, and I see she's watching me with dark eyes. I slip my middle finger into her, and I love the way her greedy hips arch into my touch.

  I love it so fucking much that I could do this all damn night with her.

  So I continue to use my fingers against her. In her. On her. She writhes and moans and her hand eventually wraps around my wrist to try to make me go faster. I indulge in her whims. Within seconds, she's starting to crest. I take her right to the apex, but before she can fall, I pull my hand away from her.

  Jane's eyes shoot open, and she looks at me with utter need. "Why'd you stop?"

  "Because I want you to come on my dick and not my fingers the first time," I tell her, my hand nabbing the condom from the mattress beside us.

  Jane groans in response. I smile as I know that turned her on, but fuck if it wasn't the truth. I want to be inside her when she comes that first time.

  I roll to my side, getting the wrapper opened with practiced fingers because I've used a lot of condoms in the last several years. I fucked a lot, but I always wrapped my shit tight.

  After I get the latex rolled on, I turn back into Jane, wrapping an arm around her waist. I pull her in close to me and graze my lips against hers. I'm a selfish fuck, but there's a very real possibility that this is indeed a one-time only event, and I want to preserve the best possible memory for myself to look back on. More importantly, I don't want to risk the possibility I'd lose control and hurt her, so I roll to my back, pulling Jane with me.

  She settles into my body almost as if by designed purpose, her pelvis coming right over my cock to gyrate against it. My hands go to her ass, and I urge her movements along. Jane and I kiss like starved beings, moaning in pleasure and unfulfilled need. I skim my hands over every square inch of her body I can touch. She rotates her hips, rubbing against me, driving me mad with the need to come.