Hope Ignites

  And when she came, she let out a soft cry, her entire body trembling with the force of her climax. Logan held her, his fingers coaxing everything she could give until she lay limp against him, fighting for breath. And still, her body continued to quake from the aftereffects.

  He expected nothing from her, just held her while she kept her eyes closed and reveled in the moment. But Des finally turned around and put her mouth on his. He wrapped his arms around her and grabbed her butt, drawing her against one sizeable erection that refueled the flame within her.

  She cupped his shaft through his jeans, but it wasn't enough for her, especially when he groaned against her lips. She reached for his belt buckle, making swift work of undoing it, and his zipper.

  "You wanna do it here in the kitchen?" he asked, the heat in his gaze evident as he looked down at her.

  "Yes. Here. Right now."

  "I'll need a second." He disappeared up the stairs while Des pulled off her tank and bra, then shimmied out of her pants and underwear. When Logan returned, the smile he gave her as he looked over her body was devastating.

  "Just what I wanted," he said as he stalked over to her and pulled her against him. "Dessert."

  He laid a condom on the counter next to them and threaded his fingers through her hair, then laid one devastating kiss on her that ignited her desire. And when he lifted her and sat her on the kitchen island, she gasped at the cold granite under her naked butt.

  But that chill quickly evaporated when Logan pulled off his T-shirt, then shrugged out of his jeans and boxer briefs. His erection sprang up, and she couldn't help her smile of pure feminine appreciation for his body. She never tired of looking at him, could never seem to get enough of his chiseled body that probably never spent a minute at a gym. His was a product of sweat and hard work earning a living, which made her admire the body she reached out to run her hands over, from his broad sculpted shoulders to his incredibly muscled biceps to his lean yet amazing washboard abs.

  "You gonna stare at me all night?" he finally asked.

  She drew her gaze to his face. "Maybe. Do you have a problem with that?"

  "Not really. But it makes my dick hard when you do."

  "Good."

  He pulled her toward him and kissed her again, making her forget everything but his taste and the way his mouth moved over hers--first, a madly passionate kiss, and then, gentling, coaxing her lips to part so his tongue could slip inside. And when he lay her down on the counter and splayed his hands over her stomach, her abdominal muscles rippled at the sensation.

  She was lost in his touch, at the way he gently slid his palms back and forth over her nipples, making them achingly sensitive, replacing his hands with his mouth and driving her right to the brink of madness. And then he covered her sex with his hands, enticing her right to the edge with his talented fingers.

  He kissed his way down her ribs and stomach, then parted her legs and put his mouth over her clit, gently sucking until she lifted her hips, gasping at the sensations he evoked, giving her an orgasm that made her lift and cry out his name.

  Shaken, her legs lax, she stared up at him, brushing a lock of his hair from his forehead.

  "What you do to me," she said.

  "Good?"

  "Oh, yes."

  "There's more." He held out his hand and she sat up. He lifted her off the counter, then turned her to face it.

  Just the thought of what would come next made her burn for him. She heard the tear of the condom packet, and then he was behind her, using his legs to spread hers. He braced his hand at her back to bend her over the counter, then entered her slowly, easily, wrapping his arm around her middle to shield her body from the counter.

  And when he thrust, deeply, she thought she would die from the sheer pleasure of each stroke, feeling him buried so intimately inside her. She tightened around him, gripping him, making him a part of her as he pulled partway out and sheathed himself deep once again.

  "I love how you feel, Des," he said, his body aligned with hers as he pressed a kiss and a love bite to her neck. "When I'm inside you like this, I want it to last forever."

  "Yes. Me, too." Because pleasure like this didn't happen all the time. A connection like they had was special. It was more than sex, and she knew it. And deep down, she knew he realized it, too.

  But now wasn't the time to think about that, not when she was so close again, when his hand slid down to her clit to give her that extra stimulation she needed to reach orgasm. And when she did, he went with her, driving deep and shuddering against her as she tightened around him, both of them holding on to each other as they fell into the abyss, where nothing mattered but each other.

  It was a while before she could form words. Her throat was dry, she and Logan were both so sweaty they stuck together. But she was content. And happy.

  "I don't know about you," he finally said. "But I need a shower."

  She smiled. "Ditto."

  They disentangled and went upstairs to Logan's room and took a shower together, having fun soaping each other up and rinsing off. Logan ran downstairs to grab their clothes, and as Des climbed into hers and combed out her wet hair, he asked, "Do you need to get back tonight?"

  "I can stay. If you want me to."

  "I want you to."

  The way he looked at her always made her feel as if she was the only woman he'd ever asked to spend the night. She was probably wrong, and it was dangerous thinking, but hell, she was already in way over her head, so she might as well enjoy the fantasy while she had it.

  It wouldn't be too much longer before reality reared its ugly head.

  It was still a little early, so they went downstairs into the family room. Logan brought them drinks, and they settled together on one of the sofas. Logan searched the listings on his subscription service.

  "Oh, here's a movie with you in it. Something called The Dreams?"

  Des wrinkled her nose. "Oh, God, no. The last thing I want to do is to watch one of my movies."

  "I've never seen any of your movies. I want to watch one."

  She turned to face him. "Really?"

  "Yeah."

  "Well, not that one. It's not good."

  He laughed. "Fine, then. You suggest one."

  She sighed. Watching herself on film was not one of her favorite things. "Okay. See if you can find In Six Days. It's a suspenseful, action-type movie."

  He used his remote to do the search. "There it is."

  He brought the movie up and it started. Des cringed when she saw herself on the screen.

  "How long ago was this one made?" he asked.

  "Maybe three years ago?"

  "I can tell. You're younger."

  She laughed. "Oh, so now I'm old?"

  He kissed her nose. "Hardly. You're still a baby. But you just look a lot younger in this one."

  "I was supposed to look younger. My character is nineteen."

  They'd made popcorn, so they sat silently and Des ate while they watched. Okay, so she mainly snuck glances over at Logan since she knew what the movie was about, and she really didn't like watching herself all that much. Though she tried to see herself with a more critical eye now that she was forced to sit through the movie.

  Not too bad, actually. A little more raw back then than she was now. She could see how her technique had improved. She grew more comfortable in front of the camera with each movie she did. This movie was about a young girl whose family is kidnapped and held for ransom, and she hooks up with a badass bounty hunter who's after the guys who are holding her family. He wants to storm in and grab the bounty, regardless of the outcome for the hostages, but she convinces him to help her save her family. It was a pretty kickass role for her in terms of physicality and weaponry. She had had a lot of fun during filming, and Bruce Leyton, the actor playing the bounty hunter, was a Hollywood legend who'd taken her under his wing and taught her a lot about filmmaking--and longevity in the business.

  "You're good in this, Des," Logan said after
the movie ended.

  She had been laying her head on his shoulder, surprisingly engrossed in the movie. She sat up and looked at him. "You think so?"

  "Yeah. I enjoyed the movie. I hadn't seen this one before. And I'm a big fan of Bruce Leyton's. But I found myself watching you. You held your own alongside him. And you were a big badass in this movie."

  She laughed. "You can thank the stunt coordinator--and Bruce--for that. They were both very helpful in that regard."

  "They taught you well, then." He studied her for a few seconds. "And I was wrong about your weapons skills. You're much better than I initially thought."

  "Thanks. So does that mean I'm not going to need rifle training?"

  "Apparently not."

  "I'm sure the weapons master on this film will be relieved. And me, too, since I did a lot of training for this movie. Besides, the film is almost over, so I think we're done shooting things, anyway."

  "You really love this moviemaking thing."

  She shrugged and picked at a hangnail. "Sometimes."

  "But not always?"

  She stared at the paused screen. "Back when I made that movie? I loved it. I loved everything about it, from the grueling fight scenes to the time off-camera spent with Bruce and his wife and their two little boys to the stunt coordinator and the director."

  "Not every job is going to be like that, though. Not every day in any job is going to be magic."

  "That's true. And like you said, maybe I just need a vacation."

  He pulled her legs onto his lap. "Maybe you do. Just a break to clear your head. It seems to me your adoring public won't forget you."

  She sighed, that familiar tightening in her stomach ever present when she thought about not being in the public eye, not making multiple movies a year. "There's so much competition out there. I don't know what would happen if I wasn't working all the time. I only have a finite amount of time in this business, and then it's over."

  He laughed. "I don't know about that. There are a lot of working actresses out there way older than you. And a lot of them win those fancy awards, don't they?"

  "I guess you're right. But this business will make a person paranoid. So will the people we work with, like our agents and publicists and casting agents and all the media who will wonder if I'm a washout if I don't sign on for the next big movie, you know?"

  "What does your heart tell you? If you're not happy, then maybe there's something else you want to be doing."

  "Honestly, Logan? I haven't taken a breath long enough to even listen to my heart. So I don't have any idea what I really want to do."

  He rubbed her legs. "Maybe that's your answer."

  "Maybe it is."

  He slid her legs off his lap and stood, then held out his hand. "Come on. Let's go to bed."

  She walked upstairs with him and took off her clothes. He gave her an unopened toothbrush for her to brush her teeth, then she climbed into bed next to him, and Logan turned off the light.

  "Thanks," he said as he pulled her against his chest.

  "For what?"

  "For letting me watch one of your movies."

  "Oh. You're welcome. It wasn't as painful as I thought it was going to be."

  She felt the deep rumble of his laugh.

  "Logan?"

  "Yeah."

  "Thank you."

  "For?"

  "For listening to me."

  "Always. I don't know that I solved any of your problems, Des, but I'm always willing to listen."

  Her heart squeezed. She tried not to open her heart any more to him than it already was, but she couldn't help it.

  She was in love with him, and she was never one to deny the truth. There it was, and she was just going to have to deal with it.

  Chapter 20

  DES STOOD IN Colt's trailer with him.

  "Are you sure you want me here with you?" she asked, sitting next to him on his sofa. "Are you sure they're going to want me here?"

  "They're not going to want you here. But I do."

  "Okay. But if at any time you want me to leave, just tell me and I'm gone."

  Colt grasped her shoulders and looked her in the eyes. "I need your support, Des. Tony's shooting an indie movie in Colorado right now and can't be here. He didn't want me to do this alone, so I promised him you'd be here with me."

  She nodded. "I'm here for you, honey. You know that."

  At the knock on the door, she read the panic on Colt's face and reached down to squeeze his hand. "It's going to be all right. Just be firm. You know this is what you want."

  "You're right. I know exactly what I want."

  Colt went over and opened the door to his agent, Nora Pantere, and his PR rep, Stan Balleu. They weren't the same people who represented Des, but they were reputable, and they'd done a great job with Colt's career.

  "Oh, hi, Des," Nora said, shaking her hand. "We didn't know you were going to be here."

  "Hello, Desiree," Stan said. "I've seen some of the dailies for the movie. You and Colt look dynamite together."

  "Thanks, Stan."

  "Would either of you like a drink?" Colt asked.

  "Mineral water for me," Nora said. "Lord, but it's hot out here. How are you two holding up?"

  "Same for me," Stan said.

  While Colt went to grab their drinks, Des answered. "We're handling it just fine. And the shoot's going well. Why don't you two come in and sit down?"

  She led them into the living space and they grabbed a seat.

  "I hope this is some announcement that the two of you are either dating or engaged," Stan said. "That would be such a stellar PR move in advance of the release of this movie."

  Colt handed them both drinks. "You know that's not going to happen, Stan."

  Stan, a short, stocky bald man in his late forties, sighed. "A man can dream, can't he?"

  Nora laughed. "So why are we here, Colt?"

  Colt took a seat on the chair next to them. Des took up position behind him.

  "I'm going to come out."

  Dead. Silence. Des chewed on her lower lip.

  "No," Nora said.

  "Absolutely not," Stan added. "It'll be the death of your career as a lead actor and you know it."

  "Stan's right," Nora said. "We've discussed this before, Colt. Many actors are gay. Closeted gay. And highly successful. Some are even married. To women. You can make this work, Colt, and have years ahead of you making profitable movies. Maybe even win an Academy Award."

  "But if you come out as a gay man," Stan said, taking over for Nora, "your leading man days are over. No actress will want to work with you, no studio will cast you in a leading role, and no women will fork over money to come see you. I'm sorry, but it's a fact. The American buying public is just not ready for a gay man to be a leading role in a movie."

  It took everything within Des not to speak out in rebuttal. But this wasn't her show to lead. It was Colt's. And if he backed down now, he'd likely never stand up to them again.

  "Sorry, but I think that's bullshit," Colt finally said.

  And Des exhaled.

  "I'm a bankable leading man, and you both know it. My sexual orientation notwithstanding, I can open a movie. I've been doing it for ten years, and after I come out, I'll continue to do it. I'm tired of hiding in the shadows with the person I love. I want to be able to live freely, and love the same way. It shouldn't matter who I live with, or who I love. That makes no difference in my performance as an actor."

  "No, it shouldn't," Nora said. "But it will. Mark my words, Colt, it will make a difference."

  Stan stood. "You're going to take a hit. A serious one. In the media as well as at the box office."

  "I might take a small one. But I don't think in the grand scheme of my overall career that it'll suffer. And I don't intend to come out in a major way. I'm not going to make a major announcement. But Tony and I are going to live together, and he's going to attend the premiere of Lost Objectives with me."

  Nora cocked a br
ow. "And you know with everything that's in me as your agent, I'm going to try and change your mind."

  "You can try, but it won't happen. I'm committed."

  Stan rubbed his temple. "You should be committed. This is a mistake. It'll ruin you."

  "I don't believe that," Colt said. "I have confidence in my bankability, and in the public. In the end, it's not going to matter."

  Nora sighed. "Colt, I don't like this at all. But I'll support you, and our team will do whatever damage control is necessary."

  They stayed through dinner, and Des didn't leave Colt's side the entire time. The biggest thing was, neither his agent nor his PR team abandoned him, which she knew had been Colt's biggest fear. Of course they spent the entire time trying to talk him out of his decision, which Des had expected them to do, but in the end, they offered their support. She was so glad.

  When Nora and Stan left around eight to catch their flight back, Colt and Des walked them to the entrance gate and waved good-bye as their SUV pulled away.

  Colt turned to her and Des wrapped her arms around him.

  He sagged against her, and she knew the emotional turmoil he'd been through that day had to have exhausted him.

  "Jesus, that was draining," he whispered against her neck.

  She brushed her hands through his hair. "I know, honey. And you can still change your mind if you want to."

  He pulled back and held her hands. "I don't want to change my mind. I'm tired of being afraid that someone is going to see me with Tony, that some paparazzi are going to snap a picture of the two of us together, then blow up our relationship in the tabloids like it's some big sleazy secret. It's not sleazy. We're in love and we have been for three years. It's about time I stop living like it's a secret that I'm too ashamed to have out. I have to live honestly."

  "Yes, you do. And your fans will appreciate that honesty. They love you, Colt. They love the kinds of movies you make. You're not going to be any different because you're gay."

  "I know that. But will everyone else?"

  "I believe they will."

  He leaned in and wrapped his arms tightly around her. "I love you, Des."

  "I love you, too." She lifted up and gave him a quick kiss on the corner of his mouth.

  "Am I interrupting?"

  Des turned to find Logan at the entrance to the gate. She smiled at him, then turned to Colt.