Sins of Sevin

  Lance went to the door, and the sounds of their voices got closer and closer to the dining room. To be respectful, I stood up when they entered.

  “Sevin, this is my good friend, Callum Hughes Senior—I know you’ve heard me talk about him—his wife Barbara and Callum Junior.”

  With his blonde hair and brown eyes, their son Callum was physically the opposite of me. He looked like an older version of one of my brothers. I hated to discover that he was pretty built and good-looking.

  Shaking Callum’s hand especially hard and searching his eyes, I said nothing.

  While no one would seem good enough for Evangeline, it was important to me that he was at least a good guy who would cherish and protect her.

  Evangeline sat next to him while still refusing to look across the table at me for even a split second. Throughout dinner, their conversations seemed to flow easily. It was clear that they had been getting to know each other. The Suttons conversed with his parents the entire time. Trying to read her body language, I just watched Evangeline interact with Callum.

  After dinner, we all retreated to the yard for dessert and coffee on the patio. Wind chimes blew in the brisk wind. The sun had completely set, so Olga had turned on the outside white Christmas lights. Evangeline and Elle were sitting on a bench swing together with their arms around each other. Their harmonious laughter was a beautiful sound, a reminder of why I was enduring this torture tonight. They were blood. I couldn’t do anything to tear them apart no matter how strong my feelings for Evangeline were. I cared about them both too much to ruin that bond. One thing I admired about the Suttons was how strong a family unit they were. They had their disagreements, but overall, they were tight knit. They were my family now.

  Callum was standing alone a few feet away from me and also seemed to be staring at the sisters. No one drank in the Sutton house, otherwise, I’d have definitely brought over one of the six-packs sitting in the fridge at my place. Something to take the edge off of this night would have been really nice.

  Walking over to Callum, I forced myself to make conversation. “Nice night, huh?”

  “Yeah. They have a really nice place. The last time I was here, I was too young to appreciate it.”

  “So, you used to know the girls when they were younger?”

  “Yeah. We moved out of state, and I hadn’t had a chance to reconnect with Evangeline until recently. I had the biggest crush on her even back then.”

  My body tensed as I gritted my teeth. “You don’t say?”

  “Yeah. Who would have known that I’d be courting her ten years later.”

  “I didn’t realize it was official yet.”

  “I would say tonight is a good indication that it is, wouldn’t you?”

  “Well, what does she say about that?”

  “We haven’t made it formal if that’s what you’re asking.”

  I was coming across more like a lawyer interrogating someone on the stand rather than a casual brother-in-law. “So, whose idea was this pairing?”

  “It was hers, actually. She told her parents that she was ready for this step in her life.”

  “So, she chose you?”

  “The woman always has a choice. It’s not like anyone is putting a gun to her head.”

  “But she didn’t choose you. They did, and she agreed to it?”

  He laughed. “No different than you and Elle. That’s how it starts, right?”

  “I suppose in this house.” Glancing back over at the girls, I asked, “What do you like most about her?”

  He gestured his hand toward the swing. “I mean…look at her. She’s gorgeous. Those big eyes, those lips, that body. Those hips? She’ll be popping out babies real easy.”

  Feeling a rush of adrenaline, my body seemed to be preparing to punch this guy out if necessary. “Is that right?”

  “I hope so.”

  “Maybe she wants more out of life than just popping out some guy’s babies. Has that ever crossed your mind?”

  “We’ve spoken about it. She said she wants kids.”

  “Yes. But I guarantee you she doesn’t mean right away.”

  “Have you discussed that with her or something?”

  Actually, I have. I know her better than probably anyone.

  “So, you think she’s hot. What else?”

  “She’s sweet, funny…”

  I interrupted him. “What is she afraid of?”

  “What?”

  “Name something she’s afraid of.”

  “We never talked about it.”

  “Maybe you should ask her.”

  “There’s plenty of time.”

  “I guess my point is, if you’re gonna marry someone, you should really get to know everything about them. That’s all.”

  “Well, once you marry Elle over the summer, I plan to do just that. I’m moving into the guesthouse.”

  ***

  Apparently, since they lived all the way in Missouri, the Hughes family planned to stay at the Sutton house for that entire weekend. Saturday night, Elle and I were supposed to be going on a double date with Evangeline and Callum.

  I was still struggling with my emotions after hearing that Callum would eventually move into the house I now lived in. It felt like he was moving in on everything, and if I were being honest with myself, it wasn’t really the house that was bothering me. By the time he planned to move here, Elle and I would supposedly have a house somewhere nearby that Lance would put up the money for initially. The plan was that we’d eventually pay him back.

  I drove us to the steakhouse in my new truck. It still had that new car smell. I was making pretty good money now, so it had been time to replace the old Ford. After dinner, we were supposed to be going bowling.

  Dinner was awkward as I forced myself to talk to him.

  “So, Callum, I never asked, exactly what is it that you do?”

  “I’m working a temporary contract job for an airline manufacturer back in Missouri.”

  “You said something about possibly moving into my guesthouse. What’s gonna happen to your job?”

  “Late summer or early fall will time out perfectly with the expiration of my contract. I spoke to Lance about taking a managerial position temporarily at Sutton Provisions.”

  “Temporarily?”

  “Yes. If things work out between Evangeline and me, after we marry, she’ll come with me back to Missouri. I’ll eventually be taking over my father’s business.”

  My eyes darted over to her. She was already looking at me, expecting me to react.

  He was planning to take her away from her family and Addy.

  And from me.

  She couldn’t have been okay with moving. That would have also meant shattering her dream of taking over Addy’s shop someday.

  Elle kept talking about the wedding plans. Callum pretended to care. Both Evangeline and I were quiet.

  Callum reached over and grabbed Evangeline’s hand. My eyes immediately landed on their interlocked fingers. He rubbed his thumb affectionately against her skin as he listened to Elle tell a story from across the table. It was my first real wakeup call that this was really happening. Evangeline was with him. As long as I was with Elle, I needed to learn to accept that.

  I pried my eyes away from their hands long enough to notice that Evangeline had been watching me, too. Watching me watching her. We stayed looking at each other. For a moment, it was as if everyone else evaporated into thin air. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I wished it were me on the other side of the table. Except, I didn’t just want to hold her hand. I wanted to lean in and take her plump bottom lip into my mouth and suck on it slowly, run my tongue down her neck and chest in search of the nipples that were piercing through the fabric of her shirt right now. My mouth was watering, and it had nothing to do with steak. Fuck. The more I reminded myself I couldn’t have her, the more I wanted her.

  The waitress came by to serve our food, snapping us back to reality.

  By the
time we got to the bowling alley, I was ready to take out my frustration.

  Pretending each pin was Callum, I kept hitting strike after strike. I had never bowled in my freaking life.

  At one point, Elle joked, “Gosh, Sevin. Maybe we have to find a bowling league for you or something.”

  Callum kept using excuses to touch Evangeline. He’d allegedly be showing her how to hold the bowling ball while practically wrapping his entire body around her in the process.

  The one consolation was that he’d be heading back to Missouri soon.

  The hardest part of the night had nothing to do with Callum, though. We were packed into my truck heading back home when Elle pressed a button and accidentally switched the music from radio to CD mode. I’d been listening to Like a Friend by Pulp earlier that day. Number ten on the CD I made for Evangeline said it all when it came to my feelings for her. When I was alone in my car, it was one of the rare times I could unwind. I liked playing that particular one on repeat. The song was a secret between us. And now, she knew I’d been listening to it.

  Peeking through my rearview mirror, I could see Evangeline was looking straight at me. Not wanting to make her uncomfortable, I switched it.

  “I liked that song,” Elle said. “Why did you change it?”

  “This one is better,” I lied.

  When I snuck another look at Evangeline, she was blankly staring out the window.

  ***

  Two weeks later, Callum was long gone. Evangeline was still talking to him every day from what I heard. Elle was deep into our wedding plans. Everything was moving so fast, it was impossible to even absorb it. So, when Elle told me she’d be going out of town the following weekend with her parents, Emily and Imogene to visit some of Olga’s cousins, I was grateful for the reprieve. They’d asked me to go with them, but I used the excuse of wanting to take that time to work on some much needed repairs to the kitchen at the guesthouse.

  Evangeline also stayed behind. She was working every weekend at Adelaide’s shop much to Lance’s discontent. Even though he disapproved, he didn’t do anything to stop her. Knowing that she and I would be the only two people on the property that weekend made me a little anxious, even though I had no plans to venture over to the main house.

  Saturday started off exactly as planned. On my third can of beer, I’d put my drill down to take a break from installing one of the new cabinets. Deciding to make a sandwich, I turned on the TV. The local news had cut into whatever programming had been on. The words across the screen read: Heavy Rains Moving Into Dodge City and Surrounding Areas This Afternoon and Evening.

  I’d been so immersed in my work, I hadn’t noticed that the skies were unusually dark for the middle of the day. It almost looked like nighttime. When the rain started coming down, I ran over to the main house to check on things, make sure there weren’t any open windows.

  My stomach sank because Evangeline wasn’t home. I hoped that she would be smart enough to stay put wherever she was. I didn’t have her cell phone number because I never had a reason to call her. Concluding that Evangeline would probably just stay at Addy’s, I decided against calling the Suttons for her number.

  There was a small break in the rain, but by the time night fell, the torrential downpours returned in full force with even heavier winds.

  The next time I turned on the TV, the caption read: Tornado Warning for Dodge City and Surrounding Areas.

  My heart started to race. Fuck. I needed to find out where she was. Before I had a chance to digest that thought, everything went black.

  CHAPTER 13

  EVANGELINE

  Thank God I decided to take advantage of that small break in the rain. Addy tried to convince me to stay, but I might have never gotten home if I hadn’t made a break for it. I wanted to sleep in my own bed tonight.

  I tried not to think about the fact that Sevin was at the guesthouse. This was the first time we were ever alone together on the property. If I played my cards right, I wouldn’t have to see him at all.

  My cell phone buzzed. It was Callum.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, baby. I’m just checking on you. I heard there were some serious storms passing through there.”

  “I’m home. I’m safe. No need to worry. I think I’m gonna try to watch some TV to get my mind off the thunder and lightning, though.”

  “That’s a good idea. I miss you. I can’t wait for when I come visit again soon.”

  “I’m looking forward to that.”

  “Check in with me in a couple of hours, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  After we hung up, I went downstairs and turned on the TV, hoping for something light to watch. Instead, my heart dropped upon seeing the words splayed across the screen: Tornado Warning. Hundreds of Power Outages Reported.

  I looked outside unable to see past the heavy bands of rain. It dawned on me that I needed to get away from the window. I immediately ransacked the kitchen in search of candles or a flashlight. Having no idea where my mother kept those things, I started to panic. Sevin didn’t have a landline phone at the guesthouse, and I didn’t have his cell phone number. I was afraid to go outside. That was the last thing they say you should do if a tornado hits. Just as I went in search of my phone to call Daddy, the lights went out.

  Oh no. No, no, no.

  My only real phobia was total darkness.

  My breathing intensified as I felt around me to see where I was. I managed to return to the living room and sat on the couch in a fetal position. Tears started to sting my eyes. I knew I should probably go to the basement, but I was terrified to be down there alone. The howl of the winds intensified, prompting me to get up once again and feel my way to the basement door. I opened it and carefully walked down each step.

  Shaking, I held my head in my hands. A huge bang coming from upstairs shook me to my core. I was sure a window had blown, or maybe something collapsed—until I heard his voice.

  “Evangeline!”

  I got up from the ground, overwhelmed by an immediate sense of relief.

  “Sevin! Oh my God. Sevin. I’m down here. In the basement!”

  The rush of his footsteps approached. A flash of light hit me in the eyes as the basement door opened, and he flew down the stairs. Within seconds, my face was pressed against his bare chest. His heart was beating so fast. Tears from my eyes poured onto his skin. We were completely quiet as he held me tightly into him, his heart thundering against my ear. It was the first time any man had ever held me like this.

  “It’s okay. I’m here.”

  Hearing him say that made me cry even harder, not only because I was so happy not to be alone but because being in his arms made all of the feelings I’d been trying to bury rise to the surface.

  When he let go, cold air replaced the warmth of his body. “Thank God I thought to check on you again.”

  “Again?”

  “I came earlier, and you weren’t home. I assumed you stayed at Addy’s. When the lights went out, I knew I needed to get over here just in case there was a chance you came back. I found my flashlight and ran. I know how scared you are of the dark. I also wanted to make sure you knew to go to the basement. I never expected to actually find you.”

  “I’m so happy you’re here.”

  His cologne and the scent of his damp skin masked the mustiness of the lower level. Sevin was wearing a shirt, but it was open at the front. He was probably working on the house like that before booking it over here when the lights went out.

  He cupped my face in his hands and gently wiped my tears with his thumbs. In the dim light afforded by his flashlight, the dark blue of his eyes was penetrating through the darkness. He shocked me when he said, “I’ve missed you so fucking much.”

  The raw emotion of his words seemed to cut through all of my resolve. I released the hold on my thoughts. “This has been really hard.”

  We’d been fighting a battle together against our feelings, one that only the two of us knew about.
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  The wind outside shook a small basement window. Sevin wouldn’t let go of my cheeks. Worn down by months of pent up desire, my entire body felt weak as he touched me. I prayed that he didn’t try to kiss me because I knew that I wouldn’t have been able to resist him.

  He slowly slid his hands down and placed them away from me by his side. While my mind was relieved, my body was screaming for the return of his touch. Even without the physical contact, I still indirectly felt him as he continued to stare me down.

  “Look around, Evangeline. There is no one else here. It’s just you and me.”

  Swallowing, I replied nervously, “I’m aware of that.”

  “We’ve talked about a lot of things since we’ve met, things we fear, things we’re passionate about. But never…not once…have we talked about this, what’s been happening between us.” When I looked down, he placed his hands on my face again, forcing my eyes upward. “We need to talk about it.”

  I closed my eyes, nodding in agreement, feeling a weight slowly lifting off of me. Keeping everything inside had been arduous. “Okay. Let’s talk about it.”

  His eyes held an intensity that almost scared me. “I’ll start,” he said before pausing. He blinked repeatedly, clearly trying to figure out how to articulate what he was thinking. “Sometimes, I feel like my whole life has been a lie, whether I was pretending to be something I wasn’t or just the bullshit people fed me. From the moment I met you, before I even knew your fucking name, it felt like you were somehow a reflection of the real me. When I’m around you, I never want to be anyone else but myself. That’s never happened to me before. No more bullshit. I need you to be honest with me. Can you do that?”

  Even though I was scared, not entirely sure of what I was agreeing to, I nodded. “Yes.”

  “I’m gonna ask you some questions. I don’t want you to think about the repercussions of your answers or what you think you should say. I just need your truth.”