Undo Me

  “You mean stupid like you? What are you more pissed about, Dee? The fact that he slept with you and was done? Or the fact that I haven’t slept with him and he’s still with me?”

  “Girl, you’re getting my sloppy seconds. I thought you were my friend, Aubrey.”

  “I am your friend,” I simply stated, trying to not let her vicious words get to me. She was hurt, I got that. “And because of that I’m not saying every shitty thing that I want to say to you, like you are to me. I didn’t do anything wrong! What you’re doing right now is because you’re jealous! You’re jealous that I have, what you want.”

  “God, Aubrey, with friends like you who needs enemies?”

  “Dee, I would never want to hurt you. I’ve been trying for months to explain! I can’t help it that he likes me, that we like each other. I’m not going to stand here and defend my relationship to you. I don’t owe you anything. You seem to forget I actually went to battle with him for you. Now take a step back before you say something that you’re really going to regret. Or before you piss me the fuck off.”

  “What did he tell you?” She ignored my warning. “You’re his only one, you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen or wait, I got it, that he could make you forget about your pain? Right? Poor little new girl. Everything you wanted to hear, wrapped in a big red bow.”

  I fervently shook my head and Alex grabbed my wrist, but I ripped it away. “You don’t know him. You don’t know anything!” I screamed back, letting her get the best of me.

  “No, it’s you who doesn’t know anything.” She stepped toward me, getting a few inches away from my face, looking me up and down with a snide glare.

  She scoffed in disgust. “He’s just like your daddy, Aubrey. He’s going to leave you too without so much as a fucking goodbye!”

  My arm was swinging toward her face by the time she had the last word out, but someone saw my intention and gripped my wrist mid-air. Before I could turn to see who stopped me, Dylan stepped out in front of me, placing me right behind him.

  He cocked his head to the side, and I could physically feel the heat searing off of him.

  “You better back the fuck up, Dee, right? That’s your name?” he sneered in an eerie tone as I watched with my heart in my throat.

  “That right there… is how much you meant to me.”

  My mouth dropped open, nervously looking around me. The boys were standing beside us with a look on their faces that I had never seen before.

  They were waiting.

  Alex’s expression mirrored mine while Lily just stood there with a mischievous gleam in her eyes and the biggest smirk I’d ever seen. She would be a force to be reckoned with one day.

  “Now, I’m fixin’ to let you know, darlin’, that the difference between you and Aubrey is that I care about her, she is my girl. You… you on the other hand were just a piece of ass I got to tap. And not a very good one at that,” he paused to let his cruel words sink in. “Which is surprisin’, seeing as you’ll give it up to anyone who will give you just a little bit of attention,” he jeered as tears formed in her eyes, but he didn’t falter. “I would know. I barely fucking looked at you and your legs spread faster than butter.”

  I felt bad for her. I knew I shouldn’t, but I did. I opened my mouth to say something and she cut me off.

  “How is she any different from me? You know you’re going to get what you want and leave her. It’s in your blood, Dylan… it’s what you do. She will be where I’m standing in a few months. They say girls end up with men just like their daddy’s, well it must be true.”

  She wasn’t backing down. Hateful words just came one after another. The one thing she said that was true, I was stupid.

  I was stupid for thinking she was my best friend.

  He smiled big and wide, not fazed by her response in the least. “You mention her daddy again, I won’t stop her from beating your ass this time.”

  “What game are you playing, Dylan?”

  “That would imply that I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t play fucking games. This is your first and last warning. You fuck with Aubrey again, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

  “Well, I’ll be damned. Aren’t you just her knight in shining armor? You’re a modern day hero. I can’t wait until she’s the one who’s crying and I’m here to pick up the pieces.” A combination of anger and hurt came out of her in waves, but McGraw surfed every one of them with ease.

  The irony was not lost on me.

  “Darlin’, the only reason she’d be crying is from fuckin’ happiness.”

  He walked over to her, each step precise and calculated. Each stride more unnerving than the last, his conviction never wavering, right in front of me. He didn’t care who saw. He was a man possessed with his heart on his sleeve and I waited, holding my breath with my heart on mine.

  “See, you oughta’ know that I love her. That I’m in love with her so when you fuck with her you fuck with me.”

  Just. Like. That.

  The words fell off his lips for the first time into the face of a girl that wasn’t me.

  “Now scurry along, we’re done here.” And with that he turned around and left her standing there without a bit of guilt for what he just shared.

  I vaguely heard Lily whisper in my ear, “Told you,” before Dylan made his way over to me with a confidence I couldn’t quite place.

  “You okay, sug—”

  I. Cold. Clocked. Him.

  “What the actual fuck?” I roared, gripping my jaw, glaring only at Aubrey.

  She slowly stepped back with her hand out in the air. “Don’t follow me, McGraw,” she ordered with a pissed off look on her face.

  “You gotta be shittin’ me,” I gritted out.

  “I mean it.” She shook her head, her body shuddering with every step she took away from me. “I’m out of here.” She took one last look at me and left.

  I peered around the beach for the first time. Everyone was standing around with wide eyes, frozen in place.

  “The show’s fucking over,” I growled out to our audience, glancing over at the boys who were grinning like goddamn fools. “You say one fucking word, one fucking word, and I will knock you the fuck out,” I warned, my fists at my sides.

  I could see it in their eyes, they wanted to laugh and give me shit, but they just shrugged their shoulders not breaking eye contact.

  I spun around and Alex gripped my wrist.

  “I don’t think—”

  I glared at her, letting her know that now was not the right time.

  She let go immediately, stepping back. “Okay.”

  I got in my Jeep, throwing it in drive before the door even shut. Tearing through the parking lot and down the street until I saw her. She was walking with her arms folded over her chest, her pissed-off stance still very much alive and thriving.

  I pulled up next to her. “Get in!” I barked.

  She looked over at me, surprised. “No!”

  “Don’t poke the bear, baby girl.”

  She rolled her eyes, throwing her neck back and screamed, “Fuck. You!”

  I snidely grinned, immediately slamming on the gas and veering across the sidewalk to block her path. Throwing it in park, not bothering to turn off the engine, I jumped out before she even saw me coming.

  I was sure I’d never seen that look on her face before. She pivoted around to take off in the other direction. I was over to her in three strides.

  Face to face.

  She stepped back until she was against my Jeep.

  Nowhere to go.

  Placing both hands on each side of her head, I spoke through clenched teeth, “What the fuck is your problem?” I lashed out, looming over her smaller frame.

  “You!” She shoved me and I didn’t waver, which only made her push me again.

  “You’re my problem! Now get out of my damn way.”

  I could see it in her eyes, she had gone mad. I didn’t know what the hell I had done t
o piss her off this bad.

  I fucking defended her, and this was the thanks I got.

  “I hate you! I hate you so fucking much right now! You’re an asshole, Dylan McGraw! You’re a fucking asshole!”

  I immediately fell back, the wind knocked from my sails. She took the distraction as an opportunity to maneuver herself away from me.

  “I can’t believe you did that! I can’t believe you did that to me!”

  I scoffed, “I would do it again.”

  “Of course, you would! That’s who you are! You don’t think for one damn second about me. Not One! Now, leave!”

  “Fuck you, I’m not going anywhere. If you really wanted to leave… you would have left already, not bothering me with your bullshit,” I regretted my words as soon as they came out of my mouth, but thinking before speaking had never been my strong suit.

  Case and point, she screeched out, “You asshole!” shouting in my face.

  I stepped toward her and she instantly backed away, once again holding out her hand in front of her.

  “Yeah! I’m a fucking asshole, but I will die before I ever apologize for defendin’ you. Do you understand me?”

  “You’re such an idiot. You’re so blinded by your goddamn pride you don’t even see it! You don’t even realize it!”

  “My pride? Sweetheart, those are fightin’ words. You best consider takin’ a step back and realize who the fuck you’re talkin’ to.”

  She put her arm down and stepped toward me. “I know exactly who I’m talking to, and I don’t give a shit. I can’t believe you did that!” she repeated with the same stride. “Telling me for the first time, for the first time, McGraw, that you loved me to that piece of shit Dee. How could you do that to me? How could you hurt me like that, you asshole?!”

  I caught her open palm that was coming at my face again. “I let you hit me once, darlin’, it won’t happen again.”

  She forcefully tried to tug her arm away, but I used the momentum to pull her toward me instead. She lost her footing and began to fall forward. Her free hand collided with my chest, giving her leverage.

  I hugged her toward me. “Relax.”

  Shit.

  I didn’t even realize that. I was so caught up in putting that bitch in her place that I hadn’t grasped that it was the first time the words came out of my mouth.

  I didn’t think twice about it.

  “You cannot do this! You cannot manhandle me every time just to get your way! It’s not fair, McGraw,” she yelled, taking me away from my thoughts.

  “Unlucky for you. I don’t give a flying fuck.”

  I leaned her back, putting my hand over her mouth, sensing she was going to scream. I placed her up against my Jeep again not taking my hand away from her mouth.

  Her nostril’s flared and her chest heaved.

  “You are so goddamn beautiful that it hurts to look at you sometimes.”

  Her eyes widened, not expecting what she had just heard.

  “You’re not going to talk.” I shook my head. “You’re going to listen to every word I have to say.” I nodded, gently letting my hand fall from her mouth. I had to explain, I knew it was the only way she would ever forgive me.

  She swallowed hard but didn’t say anything.

  “I don’t know what happened back there and frankly I don’t give a shit. I watched my girl—”

  “You were surfing,” she interrupted.

  “My eyes are always on you, darlin’. I always know where you are.”

  She bit her lip, surprised by my declaration.

  “But if you interrupt me one more time. You’re giving me no choice than to cover that sweet mouth again.”

  She narrowed her eyes at me not saying a word, though she didn’t have to, her eyes spoke volumes all by themselves.

  “I fucked girls, Aubrey, plenty of them,” I simply stated, catching her off guard.

  “That’s all I’ve ever done. It made me feel good. It made me happy. It made things easier for me. I used girls, but you want to know somethin’, suga’, they used me, too. It was a win-win situation. I come from a happy home, my parents’ clearly love each other, but I still ran from love. I chalked it up to normal boy bullshit. Ya feel me?”

  She didn’t move, her eyes intently placed on my face, waiting for the next thing I was going to share.

  “I’ve seen Lucas and Alex… fuck me…” I breathed out. “My two best friends battle this connection they’ve had since they were kids. Since before I knew what the fuck it even meant. I see Lily. And I know you see her, too. Jacob’s never going to see it coming. She’s going to hit him like a ton of fucking bricks.”

  The expression on her face softened and it gave me the push to keep going.

  “It’s all so fucking messy, so fucking complicated, so fucking forbidden. I didn’t want shit to do with that. Not for one damn second. Unlike Austin who has no damn clue who he is, that’s the difference between him and I, I do. I know I’m an asshole. I don’t pretend to be something I’m not, darlin’. I don’t need to and I don’t fuckin’ want to. Ain’t got time for that shit. I never hurt a girl and if they want to claim that I did, it’s only because it’s easier to blame someone else than to look in the goddamn mirror and realize who they really are.”

  She frowned, sad for me.

  “No, suga’, this isn’t about you feelin’ bad for me. I loved doing it. Sex, fucking, and being with someone was the closest I ever let myself go. It was addicting. My addiction. The feeling of another body pressed up against mine. Well, there’s nothing else like it. I did what felt good. No strings. No attachments. No unnecessary bullshit.”

  I could tell she wanted to say something, but the need to know what I had to say was too strong for her to interrupt.

  “For once, baby. For once in my life someone had the balls to call me out. Ain’t ever happened before. Especially by a girl. A hot-as-fuck girl,” I added, grinning.

  She hid a smile.

  “So, after years of watching my boys struggle with emotions and feelings and who the fuck else knows. All that shit that I ran away from, was staring me right in the face, I wanted it,” I paused, gazing deep into her eyes.

  “I. Wanted. You.”

  Her mouth parted, and I swear I could feel her heart beating against my chest.

  “Except, I know, baby. I know you’re too good for me. I know the first time we have sex, make love… it’s going to mean something and maybe, I’m hoping that it’ll make me a better man. That you…” I tugged on the ends of her hair.

  “That you’ll make me a better man.”

  She jerked back. “Oh my God.” She exhaled long and deep.

  “I love you, Aubrey. I fucking love you, and I don’t care who knows.”

  Her eyes swelled up with tears and I leaned forward to her ear and groaned,

  “I. Love. You.”

  “What do you want to watch?” I asked from her bed. Grabbing her around the waist, pulling her toward me.

  She came effortlessly as if she weighed nothing. I lifted her up and placed her on my lap with her legs straddling my waist. She put her finger up to her lips and hummed.

  My cock twitched.

  Ever since I told her I loved her, our make-out sessions were becoming hotter and heavier. Every time I pulled back, stopping them from going any further, I could see her impatience growing more and more. Though she hadn’t called me out on it.

  Summer was almost over and it had been over a month since I told her I loved her. She had yet to say it back to me. My impatience to hear her say the words was increasing by the minute. I knew she loved me, it was written clear across her pretty little face. Especially when she was in my arms, which happened to be more often than not. But I needed her to say it out loud, to validate our relationship and how far we’ve come.

  “Why are we going to pretend to watch a movie, McGraw? Aren’t we a little old for make-believe? You know what’s going to happen?”

  “Is that right? Remind me t
hen.”

  “Yes, sir.” She kissed along my cheek, moving down to my neck.

  Her mom was never home. She was always working. There was no point not to hang out in her room.

  On her bed.

  Alone.

  I said I loved her.

  Not that I was a fucking saint.

  I wrapped my hands around her waist, sliding them under her shirt to feel her soft skin against my fingers. Gliding them up and down her midsection, my thumbs pressing higher on the wire of her bra.

  “God, baby, you feel fuckin’ amazing,” I groaned into her ear, following her lead and kissing her along her neck.

  She rotated her hips against my cock in approval, leaning her head back to give my lips more access to her creamy white skin. My mouth moved from her neck down to her collarbone, slowly, savoring the elevated heat of her body pressed up against mine. Getting hotter with each caress of my tongue touching her skin.

  I nudged her nose with mine and she gazed adoringly into my eyes. I knew that look.

  She wanted me.

  I grabbed both sides of her face, closing the distance between us, colliding our lips together. Our tongues did a sinful dance, devouring each other. I bit her bottom lip, causing her to whimper. Her mouth was so fucking perfect and all I could picture was her plump lips sealed around my cock.

  Kissing Aubrey was like coming home. It was like tasting Heaven for the first time and knowing you would never be able to find anything like it.

  She was one of a kind.

  Mine.

  It never started off innocently. It always became it’s own thing, something neither one of us could understand or deny. Something neither one of us could control.

  The electricity…

  The connection…

  The intensity…

  Was constantly right there. Wavering and waiting for either of us to make the move. All we had to do was look at each other and sparks fucking flew like the damn Fourth of July.

  Her lips parted, I slipped my tongue into her waiting mouth. When she breathed out, her scent was all around us, consuming my desire to feel her wrapped around me.

  It didn’t take long for her lips to move against mine, demanding a response from me that only she elicited. Her tongue was smooth and felt like silk. Like fucking ecstasy all rolled into one. I started to lean forward. Flipping her onto her back. I wanted to feel her body beneath mine. The second I was above her, my hand started roaming. It started at her hair, tugging on the ends of it, which I knew she loved me to do to her every chance I got. It traveled to the nook of her neck, to bring her closer to me, to kiss her harder, faster, and with more determination.