The Darkness That Comes Before
“This will answer the question of the Thousand Thousand Halls?”
“No. But it will enable you to ask properly.”
Somewhere near the summit of the Andiamine Heights, they passed through an ivory-panelled corridor then found themselves blinking in the Emperor’s Privy Garden.
Between paved lanes, the grass was soft and immaculate, dark beneath the shade of different trees, which formed spokes about a circular pool in the garden’s heart: a watery rendition of the Imperial Sun. Hibiscus, standing lotus, and aromatic shrubs thronged from plots adjacent to the lanes. Kellhus glimpsed hummingbirds sorting between blooms in the sunlight.
Where the public areas of the Imperial Precincts had been constructed to overawe guests with dimension and ostentation, the Privy Garden had been designed, Kellhus understood, to foster intimacy, to move visiting dignitaries with the gift of the Emperor’s confidence. This was a place of simplicity and elegance, the humble heart of the Emperor made earth and stone.
Gathered beneath cypress and tamarisk trees, the Inrithi lords—Galeoth, Tydonni, Ainoni, Thunyeri, and even some Nansur—stood in clots around what must have been the Emperor’s bench. Though decked in finery and lacking arms, they looked more like soldiers than courtiers. Pubescent slaves floated among them, their swelling breasts bare and their coltish legs glistening with oils, trays of wine and various delicacies swaying from their hips. Bowls were tipped back in toasts; greasy fingers were wiped on fine muslins and silks.
The Lords of the Holy War. All gathered in one place.
The study deepens, Father.
Faces turned and voices fell silent as they approached. Several hailed Proyas, but most stared at Cnaiür, emboldened by the open scrutiny of numbers.
Proyas, Kellhus knew, had purposefully prevented any of the Great Names from meeting Cnaiür in order to better control this moment. Their expressions attested to the wisdom of his decision. Even dressed as an Inrithi—a white linen tunic under a knee-length, grey silk coat—Cnaiür radiated feral strength. His embattled face. His powerful frame, iron limbs, and neck-breaking hands. His swazond. His eyes like cold topaz. Everything about him either spoke of murderous deeds or suggested murderous intent.
Most of the Inrithi were impressed. Kellhus saw awe, envy, even lust. Here at last was a Scylvendi, and the aspect of the man, it seemed, was more than a match for the rumours they had heard.
Cnaiür weathered their scrutiny with disdain, looking from man to man as though appraising cattle. Proyas murmured several words to Xinemus, then hastened to draw both Cnaiür and Kellhus aside.
Suddenly the lords erupted in solicitations. Xinemus deflected them, crying, “You’ll hear what the man has to say soon enough.”
Proyas grimaced, muttered, “That went as well as could be expected, I suppose.”
The Conriyan Prince, Kellhus had discovered, was a pious yet quietly tempestuous man. He possessed a strength, a moral certainty that somehow compelled others to seek his sanction. But he was also keen to unearth impieties, dubious of the very men drawn to his certainty.
Kellhus had found this combination of doubt and certitude perplexing at first. But after his evening with Drusas Achamian, he realized the Crown Prince had been trained to be suspicious. Proyas was wary out of habit. As with the Scylvendi, Kellhus had been forced to move at tangents when dealing with him. Even after several days of discussion and probing questions, the man still harboured reservations.
“They seem anxious,” Kellhus said.
“And why not?” Proyas replied. “I bring them a Prince who claims to dream of Shimeh and a Scylvendi heathen who could be their general.” He glanced pensively at his fellow Men of the Tusk. “These men will be your peers,” he said. “Heed them. Learn them. To a man they’re exceedingly proud, and proud men, I’ve found, aren’t inclined to make wise decisions . . .”
The implication was clear: soon their lives would depend upon the wise decisions of these men.
The Prince gestured to a tall Galeoth standing beneath the hanging rose and green of a tamarisk tree. “That’s Prince Coithus Saubon, seventh son of King Eryeat and leader of the Galeoth contingent. The man he argues with is his nephew, Athjeäri, Earl of Gaenri. Coithus Saubon has quite a reputation in these parts: he commanded the army his father sent against the Nansurium several years ago. He managed several successes, or so I’m told, but was humiliated by Conphas after the Emperor made him Exalt-General. Perhaps no man living hates the Ikureis as much as he. But he cares nothing for the Tusk or the Latter Prophet.”
Again, Proyas left the implications unspoken. The Galeoth Prince was a mercenary who would support them only where their ends coincided with his own.
Kellhus appraised the man’s face, which was strong-jawed and bard-handsome beneath a shock of reddish-blond hair. Their eyes met. Saubon nodded in guarded courtesy.
A barely perceptible quickening of his heartbeat. A faint flush rising to his cheeks. Eyes vaguely narrowing, as though half-squinted against an unseen blow.
He fears nothing more than the estimation of other men.
Kellhus nodded in return, his expression frank, guileless. Saubon had been raised, he realized, under the harsh gaze of another—a cruel father, perhaps, or mother.
He would make a demonstration of his life, shame the eyes that measure.
“Nothing impoverishes,” Kellhus said to Proyas, “more than ambition.”
“Indeed,” Proyas replied in approval, also nodding to the Galeoth Prince.
“That man there,” the Prince continued, gesturing to a thick-waisted Tydonni beyond the Galeoth, “is Hoga Gothyelk, Earl of Agansanor and elected leader of the contingent from Ce Tydonn. Before I was born, my father was bested by him at the Battle of Maän. He calls his limp ‘Gothyelk’s gift.’” Proyas smiled, a devoted son who took much heart in his father’s humour. “According to rumour, Hoga Gothyelk is as pious in the temple as he’s indomitable on the field.”
And again the implication: He’s one of us.
Unlike Saubon, the Earl of Agansanor was unaware of their momentary scrutiny: he was busy berating three younger men in what must have been his native tongue. His beard, a long pelt of iron grey, swung and shivered as he hollered. His broad nose flared. His eyes flashed beneath overgrown brows.
“Those men he upbraids?” Kellhus asked.
“His sons—three of them, anyway. In Conriya we call them the Hoga Brood. He scolds them for drinking too heavily. The Emperor, he says, wants them drunk.”
But far more than their drinking, Kellhus knew, had incited the old Earl’s fury. Something weary haunted his expression, something whose momentum had faltered over the course of a long and turbulent life. Hoga Gothyelk no longer felt anger, not truly—only varieties of sorrow. But for what reason?
He’s done something . . . He thinks himself damned.
Yes, there it was: the hidden resolution, like slack threads in the taut creases of his face, around the eyes.
He’s come to die. Die cleansed.
“And that man,” Proyas continued, daring to point, “in the centre of that group wearing masks . . . Do you see him?”
Proyas had gestured to their extreme left, where far and away the largest party had gathered: the Palatine-Governors of High Ainon. To a man they were dressed in spectacular gowns. Beneath their plaited wigs they wore masks of white porcelain across their eyes and cheeks. They looked like bearded statues.
“The one whose hair is wired like a fan across his back?” Kellhus asked.
Proyas graced him with a sour smile. “Indeed. That’s none other than Chepheramunni himself, the King-Regent of High Ainon and lapdog of the Scarlet Spires . . . Do you see how he spurns all offers of food and drink? He fears the Emperor will try to drug him.”
“Why do they wear masks?”
“The Ainoni are a debauched people,” Proyas replied, casting a wary glance at their immediate vicinity. “A race of mummers. They’re overly concerned with the subtleties of huma
n intercourse. They regard a concealed face a potent weapon in all matters concerning jnan.”
“Jnan,” Cnaiür muttered, “is a disease you all suffer.”
Proyas smiled, amused by the relentlessness of the plainsman’s contempt. “Doubtless we do. But the Ainoni suffer it mortally.”
“Forgive me,” Kellhus said, “but just what is ‘jnan’?”
Proyas shot him a puzzled look. “I’ve never pondered it much before,” he admitted. “Byantas, I recall, defines it as ‘the war of word and sentiment.’ But it’s far more. The subtleties that guide the conduct between men, you might say. It’s”—he shrugged—“simply something we do.”
Kellhus nodded. They know so little of themselves, Father.
Troubled by the inadequacy of his reply, Proyas redirected their attention to a small group of men standing about the garden’s pool, all wearing the same white tusk-emblazoned vestments over their tunics.
“There. The one with silver hair. That’s Incheiri Gotian, Grandmaster of the Shrial Knights. He’s a good man—the Shriah’s own envoy. Maithanet has directed him to judge our suit against the Emperor.”
Gotian awaited the Emperor in silence, clutching in his hands a small ivory canister—a missive, Kellhus assumed, from Maithanet himself. Though Gotian presented the look of self-assurance, Kellhus saw instantly that he was anxious: the rapid pulse of his juggler beneath the dark skin of his neck, the flexing of tendons along the back of his hand, the taut pose of the musculature about his lips . . .
He does not feel equal to his burden.
But more than anxiety simmered beneath his expression: his eyes also betrayed a curious longing, one that Kellhus had witnessed many times in many faces.
He yearns to be moved . . . Moved by someone more holy than he.
“A good man,” Kellhus repeated. I need only convince him I’m more holy.
“And that there,” Proyas said, nodding to his right, “is Prince Skaiyelt of Thunyerus, standing in the shadow of that giant—the one they call Yalgrota.”
Whether by design or otherwise, the small Thunyeri contingent occupied the periphery of the gathered Inrithi lords. Of all the nobility gathered in the garden, they alone were geared for battle, wearing hauberks of black chain under sleeved surcoats embroidered with stylized animals. To a man they sported wiry beards and long corn-silk hair. Skaiyelt’s face was uniformly scarred, as though by pox, and he muttered sombrely to hard-eyed Yalgrota, who hulked above him, glaring across heads at Cnaiür.
“Have you ever seen such a man?” Proyas hissed, staring at the giant with frank admiration. “Let’s pray his interest in you is academic, Scylvendi.”
Cnaiür matched Yalgrota’s gaze without blinking. “Yes,” he said evenly, “for his sake. A man is measured by more than his frame.”
Proyas arched his brows, grinned sidelong at Kellhus.
“You think,” Kellhus asked the Scylvendi, “that he’s not as long as he’s tall?”
Proyas laughed aloud, but Cnaiür’s ferocious eyes seized Kellhus. Play these fools if you must, Dûnyain, but do not play me!
“You’re beginning,” Proyas said, “to remind me of Xinemus, my Prince.”
Of the man he esteems above all others.
An angry cry surfaced from the background bustle of voices: “Gi’irga fi hierst! Gi’irga fi hierstas da moia!” Gothyelk, once again chastising one of his sons, this time from across the garden.
“What are those pendants the Thunyeri wear between their thighs?” Kellhus asked Proyas. “They look like shrivelled apples.”
“The shrunken heads of Sranc . . . They make fetishes of their enemies, and we can expect”—his distaste soured into a grimace—“that they’ll sport human heads soon enough, once the Holy War begins its march. As I was about to say, the Thunyeri are young to the Three Seas. They embraced the Thousand Temples and the Latter Prophet only in my grandfather’s time, so they’re zealous in the way of converted peoples. But interminable war with the Sranc has rendered them morbid, melancholy . . . deranged, even. Skaiyelt is no exception in this regard, as far as I can tell—the man can’t speak a word of Sheyic. He’ll need to be . . . managed, I imagine, but not taken seriously otherwise.”
There’s a great game here, Kellhus thought, and there’s no place for those who don’t know the rules. Nevertheless, he asked, “Why’s that?”
“Because he’s uncouth, an illiterate barbarian.”
The answer he expected: the one certain to alienate the Scylvendi.
As though on cue, Cnaiür snorted. “And just what,” he asked scathingly, “do you think the others say of me?”
The Prince shrugged. “Much the same, I imagine. But that’ll quickly change, Scylvendi. I’ve—”
Proyas stopped mid-reply, his attention stolen by the sudden hush that had fallen upon the Inrithi nobles. Three figures approached through the shade of the surrounding colonnades. Two men, Eothic Guardsmen by the look of their armour and insignia, pulled a shambling third between them. The man was naked, emaciated, and freighted by heavy shackles about his neck, wrists, and ankles. From the scars that latticed his arms, it was obvious he was Scylvendi.
“Cunning fiends,” Proyas muttered under his breath.
The Guardsmen yanked the man into sunlight. He wobbled drunkenly, heedless of his exposed phallus. He raised a piteous face to the warmth of the sun. His eyes had been gouged out.
“Who is he?” Kellhus asked.
Cnaiür spat, watched the Guardsman chain the man to the base of the Emperor’s bench.
“Xunnurit,” he said after a moment. “Our King-of-Tribes at the Battle of Kiyuth.”
“A token of Scylvendi weakness, no doubt,” Proyas said tightly. “Of Cnaiür urs Skiötha’s weakness . . . Evidence in what will be your trial.”
“You will sit here in posture,” the Pragma said, neither stern nor gentle, “and repeat this proposition: ‘The Logos is without beginning or end.’ You will repeat this without cessation, until you are directed otherwise. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Pragma,” Kellhus replied.
He lowered himself onto a small mat of woven reeds in the centre of the shrine. The Pragma sat opposite him on a similar mat, his back to the sunlit poplars and the scowling precipices of the mountains beyond.
“Begin,” the Pragma said, becoming motionless.
“The Logos is without beginning or end. The Logos is without beginning or end. The Logos is without . . .”
At first he puzzled over the ease of the exercise. But the words quickly lost their meaning and became a repetitive string of unfamiliar sounds, more a pasty exercise of tongue, teeth, and lips than speaking.
“Cease saying this aloud,” the Pragma said. “Speak it only within.”
The Logos is without beginning or end. The Logos is without beginning or end. The Logos is without . . .
This was far different and, as he quickly discovered, far more difficult. Speaking the proposition aloud had braced the repetition somehow, as though propping thought against his organs of speech. Now it stood alone, suspended in the nowhere of his soul, repeated and repeated and repeated, contrary to all the habits of inference and drifting association.
The Logos is without beginning or end. The Logos is without beginning or end. The Logos is without . . .
The first thing he noted was the curious slackness of his face, as though the exercise had somehow severed the links shackling expression to passion. His body grew very still, far more so than he’d ever experienced before. At the same time, however, curious waves of tension assailed him from within, as though something deep balked, refusing inner breath to his inner voice. And the repetition was muted to a whisper, became a thin thread undulating through violent eddies of inarticulate, unformed thought.
The Logos is without beginning or end. The Logos is without beginning or end. The Logos is without beginning or end. The Logos is without . . .
The sun waxed across the dishevelled mountainsides, mottli
ng his periphery with the contrast of dark plummets and bright bald faces. Kellhus found himself at war. Inchoate urges reared from nothingness, demanding thought. Unuttered voices untwined from darkness, demanding thought. Hissing images railed, pleaded, threatened—all demanding thought. And through it all:
The Logos is without beginning or end. The Logos is without beginning or end. The Logos is without . . .
Long afterward, he would realize this exercise had demarcated his soul. The incessant repetition of the Pragma’s proposition had pitted him against himself, had shown him the extent to which he was other to himself. For the first time he could truly see the darkness that had preceded him, and he knew that before this day, he had never truly been awake.
When the sun at last set, the Pragma broke his fast of silence.
“You have completed your first day, young Kellhus, and now you will continue through the night. When the dawn sun broaches the eastern glacier, you will cease repeating the last word of the proposition but otherwise continue. Each time the sun breaks from the glacier, you will cease repeating the last word. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Pragma.” Words spoken, it seemed, by someone else.
“Then continue.”
As darkness entombed the shrine, the struggle intensified. By turns, his body became remote to the point of giddiness and near to the point of suffocation. One moment he would be an apparition, an accident of coiling smoke, so insubstantial it seemed the night breeze might smear him into nothingness. In another, he would be a bundle of cramped flesh, every sensation sharpened until even the night chill chattered like knives across his skin. And the proposition became something drunken, something that stumbled and staggered through a nightmarish chorus of agitations, distractions, and frenzied passions. They howled within him—like something dying.
Then the sun broke from the glacier, and he was dumbstruck by its beauty. Smouldering orange cresting cold planes of shining snow and ice. And for a heartbeat the proposition escaped him, and he thought only of the way the glacier reared, curved like the back of a beautiful woman . . .