Love Hate
Love Hate
By
Monica K.K. Lee
Copyright © 2014 Monica K.K. Lee
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Makaliʻi Productions
2524 Waiomao Road
Honolulu, HI 96816
First Edition
For Shane
CONTENTS:
Hate
Let’s Fight
Run
Forget
Listen
Don’t love me
Perfect space
Permission
HUMAN
Black and blue
I am not perfect
Since you left
I won’t be me
Ex-Mr.&Mrs.
My love
Fate
Truly
Beholder
Beauty
Together
Everything
Kiss me
My addiction
Art
Without you
My guy
About the author
Hate
When hate spills
from your lips
I want to grab a funnel
and pour it back in
so you can taste it
drink it up
and see what you are made of contents
Let’s fight
You want to fight?
Let’s fight
take it outside
shout into the night
ball up our fists
strap on our gloves
i’m willing to take your spit in my face
and deliver mine into yours
i’m ready if you are
because
texting me in
CAPS LOCK
ain’t going to cut it
Run
Forget
Forget the romance poems
my mind invented for you
forget the long talks
that led us to bed
forget melting times
when I held you like a puddle
and times
we laughed
with silliness in our heads
forget those promises
whispered on sweet lips
forget everything
just forget
Listen
Listen to me
stop talking
your lips are filled with confrontation
and its rude to talk
with your mouth full
and tell your eyes
the ones I like
most the time
to quit throwing darts
at me
you want to win an argument
you win
you proved your point
you were right on the money with that one
okay its done now
let’s get over it
move on
because truthfully
all i wanted to say
all i was trying to do
was tell you how i was feeling
tell you my point of view
but you can’t hear my voice
and i can’t even listen to my own thoughts
because
you just keep talking
Don’t Love Me
How dare you love me
when I don’t feel the same
how can you spend
your time
writing line
after string
of words
meant to breathe
aroma into the pages
that are as empty
as my love for you
how am I supposed to react
to your subtle gestures
pulling out my chair
and calling me
just to make sure
I am still inhaling air
I can’t stand the way this is
just go away
how dare you love me
Perfect S p a c e
Thereʻs a hole right here
where you slashed me with
“I-wish-you-were-never-mine”
a gash, just there
when you said you never knew me
and scars when you said you did
only I was somebody else with intentions not good
not the me I know who only meant the best
there are patches
over the parts where you were forgiven
for brandishing my name
in conversations where I was
the villain in some cruel imaginary world
you had created
to make a fool out of me
and stitches in places where you lied--
marks where you tossed me away
and still,
still my heart thumps
it beats
it holds a perfect space
right there in the center
it goes on loving you
yes it does
but please forgive
please pardon please understand
that I won’t allow you
to trash it again
Permission
You don’t get to brag
attach titles to my name
as if you were there
when I needed you to be
you can’t give me labels
when you couldn’t give me strength
criticism
when I do something you don’t like
praise
when I amaze you
go
hang your words
in that empty window
replace the transparency
that was never there
HUMAN
Go on
take me down a few notches
with that bite
that bite of death
tell me I don’t understand
what it takes
what you feel
but I do
I do
I am human
Black and Blue
Black and blue
is the color of our love
bruises
bruises on my heart
I keep them covered
with makeup
so that no one
not even you
can see them
I feign strength
superpowers even
and smile
smile from my face
even when I know our love
is cradled in
black and blue
I am not perfect
I am not perfect
nor would I ever try to be
you see
mistakes are lovely
notches on the belt
disagreements the blemishes
on your twice beautiful face
apologies the frosting
in ones shining eye
I assure you I understand
dear
I am not perfect
but neither are you
Since you left
Hell must miss you
since you left
its flames probably
leap a lot less
its stench is likely
quelled with your disappearance
its devils
more tame and k
ind
so I have an idea
hey I say
I have an idea
quit searing my ass
and go back
to whence you came
I won’t be me
I never do anything right anymore
everything between us is an all
consuming war-- even without
the words and the drama I can
read what is on your mind we’ve
been together long enough for
me to know
the sighs you heave are not out
of pleasure no more; the way you
say I don’t try when I’m trying
makes me feel like I’m not good
enough for you-- why not find
a better mate if I’m so bad
If I’m not great
I wear myself thin just trying to
please you-- maybe I’m not trying
hard enough maybe I don’t compare
to someone else you knew but it’s the
best I can do I can dress up and act
the way you want but I won’t be me
I won’t be me
Ex-Mr. and Mrs.
BLAH-BLAH-BLAH
whatever you have to say to me
just put it in writing
throw it in the mail
have them ship it out
return receipt if you please
I will sign it for you
release the beast
and just
so that you know all
your time was worth it
I will do you the honor and read
BLAH-BLAH-BLAH
before I
throw
it
out
My Love
Oh my love
My heart
my greatest joy
let me surround you
with a wreath of warmth
brighten your soul
with promises true
lay lips across
your precious face
generous
is my desire for you
Fate
from the moment I laid eyes on you
I’ve felt you were mine
(but not in that creepy stalkerish way)
when I first heard you speak
I hoped you’d say my name forever
(not doctor-lecter-like but sweet; pure)
when you called me for a date
I wanted to create a feast
(not boiled bunny but genuine cuisine)
and when our lips touched
I knew our fates were sealed
(not tight like a coffin but pressed nice; good)
together
I knew
we were meant to be
Truly
I will leave delicate lips atop your face
adorn you with the length of my arms
warm you with twinkling bliss
lift you to the moon with laughter
hold you as long as you’ll hope
so truly do I love you
Beholder
He was handsome
not just on the outside but in the way he made her laugh
mouth wide open
hard and loud
and from her chest
handsome
in how he looked at her
when she talked of good
and evil
for no reason at all
handsome in how
he remembered
what she told him and believed in her
when she said she would do it
She was gorgeous
not just on the outside but in the way she was there
when he needed her
held him up
and pushed him forward
saw him through
gorgeous
in how she talked to him
in tones so happy
like she was singing a song
gorgeous in how
she remembered
what he told her and believed
that he would do what he said he would do
Beauty
Delicious
Beauty
is
knowing
you
are
free
yet
never
wanting
or
needing
to
stray
Together
There is no chain shackling me to you
no ball to break
no ties that bind
just the knowing
that love exists
and trust
that we will shape
visions from dust
and songs from word
together
Everything
Everything about you
everything—
the moonlight in your eyes
the stars from your lips
fresh earth beneath your feet
mind filled with silver tapestry
palms laden with secrets
that beacon in your heart
draw me in
like a spell
bind me to you
and I will be yours
for a lifetime
and more
Kiss me
I wanted you to kiss me
but did not expect
the ground to spin
above my head
my skin to tickle
from within
as if my soul was
doing flips
I didn’t think
the sun would spill
out through your lips
and yet it did
you changed the world
it’s so vivid
all because
you kissed me
My Addiction
I am addicted
to his giddy
laughter
the chimes which ring
from his beautiful mouth
with so much light
so much importance
so much sincerity
so I,
I who is so in love
with his jolly
honesty
I, who seeks
the pleasures of this
music he composes
carves
out of joy
frequent his side.
We sit, he and me,
and make
bells ring
together
Art
I won’t paint you
although I want to
for I fear
my hands won’t be honest
my fingers will not guide me right
my colors will not grasp
the elegance and grandeur
of your loving design
Instead know
that you are admired
in a way I have never been
I am made honest
with just the vision of you
Without You
What would I do without you?
I don’t ever want to know
you are the peaks to my mountain
the roots in my garden
the spray in my seas
the song in my heart
without you there would be no sunlight
in the sky above
the nights would be vast
and empty
no shadow
would sway against my side
no breath
would remain in my body
the days would be frosty cold
please don’t ever leave me empty
I don’t ever want to know
what I would do without you
I don’t ever want to know
My Guy
You could say
&nbs
p; the big grey cloud
that seemed willing to empty its contents over his head
or the man
holding the pin a little to close to his bubble
might have ruined his day
but not my guy
my guy is too cool to worry about that junk
my guyʻs always got something good going on
in his noggin
my guy is a level headed
open-minded
good going soul
he looks at things different
my guy he does
when most people see
a storm unmasking
he sees a reason to prepare
a reason to celebrate
because when rain comes it means
the drought is over
where most people would shrink
at the thought of another person
trying to burst their anything
he sees an opportunity
to get to know someone
to make peace
to understand
my guy even helps me to find goodness inside myself
and while Iʻm not great
he inspires me to be
as great
as him
Author Bio:
Monica K.K. Lee loves love but is about as romantic as a sea cucumber during mating season. Her short stories and poetry have been published in several literary journals and she is currently editing her second novel—its name remains a secret. She does very unromantic yet surprising things on the daily with her lovey-dovey fam-bam in Hawaii.
More from the author:
(From back of book) Welcome to paradise where kids go hungry, single moms get taken advantage of, poverty runs rampant, and deadbeat dads plot deaths to avoid paying child support.
It’s not the gorgeous, scenic, tourist-laden Hawaii that most people dream about, but for three young sisters: Wendy (12-years-old), Amanda (9-years-old), and Stephanie (5-years-old), it’s life.
Fricken Kids chronicles the year the three girls were neglected and forced to survive on their own for three weeks. It is set in 1985 and 1986, and narrated by nine-year-old Amanda, a Hawaiian, Asian, Haole, Apache mixed girl who is struggling to find her identity in a world that is constantly falling apart around her. Their Mother, a full-time-student is too busy trying to find a new man, job, and lifestyle to guide them, their father, a full-time-coward is too busy not wanting anything to do with them to have anything to do with them, and everyone else is too concerned with fitting into the material culture to care about the ancient one. And the girls—are as colorful and hypnotic as their island home is.
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