Crash

  Not a word spared, Jude threw himself on top of Sawyer, his fists going to work on him before Sawyer knew someone else had joined us. Flipping Sawyer on his back, Jude straddled him, focusing his fists and fury on his face.

  Each hit landed with a crack—each one released a little more blood. Deciphering if Jude’s grunts or Sawyer’s groans were louder was impossible. When it became obvious Jude was not planning on teaching him a lesson, but taking his life, I pushed myself off the floor and stumbled towards them.

  “Stop, Jude.” My voice wavered almost as badly as my legs. “Stop.” Reaching out, I rested my hand on his shoulder.

  He didn’t stop, but his punches grew slower and less frequent.

  “Yeah, you might want to listen to her,” Sawyer said, spitting blood from his mouth onto the carpet. “Unless you want to find yourself locked up again. Who’s going to be here to watch after Lucy when I corner her in some other room then, Ryder?” Sawyer looked up at Jude with a bloody smile, challenging him like he had a death wish.

  Jude’s muscles rolled beneath my hand, his breaths lifting and lowering his shoulders half a foot each time. “I told myself the next time I heard about you doing this to another girl, I was going to rip your dick off and stuff it down your throat. But since the girl I found you with was Luce,”—he looked back at me, his whole face lined, before leaning down so his face was an inch from Sawyer’s—“I’m going to kill you.”

  And the scariest thing that had happened so far tonight was that threat. Because it wasn’t a threat; I could tell by the tone of his voice that he meant it.

  Instead of crawling to them, I was crawling away from them, positioning my body in front of Sawyer’s nightstand. I doubted Jude knew if and where Sawyer kept a weapon, but I also knew he’d look, and the nightstand would be the first thing searched.

  Shoving up, Jude stood over Sawyer, seething down at him. “Luce,” he said, keeping his eyes on Sawyer, “mind moving away from there so I can finish this son of a bitch?”

  I swallowed—he already knew. “No,” I said.

  “Luce, this is between him and me right now,” he said, his back quivering. “Move.”

  My fight had shifted from keeping Sawyer from raping me, to keeping Jude from punching the shit out of him, to now keeping Jude from murdering him. I should have hit my exhaustion point about one busted door ago, but I was a girl with a lot of fight in her.

  “No,” I repeated, my voice stronger.

  “Damn it, Luce,” Jude shouted, “he deserves this!”

  I rose, taking a step toward him. “I know,” I said, taking a few more steps until I could wrap my hands around one of his. I waited for him to look at me, and when he finally did, I saw the conflict in his eyes. “But you don’t.”

  His eyes closed, the rage still rolling off him. “I’m going to get locked up for good one day, and I can’t imagine a better reason for serving a life sentence than for taking out a bastard like him. I don’t care, Luce.”

  Lifting one hand to his cheek, I tilted his face towards mine. “But I do.”

  He looked at me, thunder rolling through his eyes, and then down at Sawyer. His entire body stiffened again. “I want to kill him, Luce. I want to kill him more than I’ve wanted anything.” A ripple ran down his back. “I don’t know how to walk away.”

  “Let me help you,” I said, waiting. I’d wait however long it took—I wasn’t walking away until he walked away with me.

  Below Jude, Sawyer chuckled, spitting another spray of blood. “The felon and the slut riding off into the sunset together,” he laughed. “We won’t have to hold our breath for that happily ever after.”

  Jude flinched, but I wouldn’t let him go.

  “Don’t waste your life on this bastard,” I said, refusing to look at Sawyer because I was good if I never had to look at that face again. I smiled at Jude. “Why don’t you waste it with me instead?”

  The lines smoothed from his face as he held my stare. And then finally he smiled. “I’ll take that deal.”

  Nodding towards the door, I pulled on his hand.

  Another laugh came from Sawyer. “At least someone’s going to be getting a piece of that ass tonight.”

  I groaned—Sawyer had no sense of self-preservation.

  Grabbing him by the shirt collar, Jude pulled him up. “You just don’t know when to shut up,” Jude said, drawing his fist tight. “Let me help you.” He drove his fist square into Sawyer’s mouth, sending him crashing back down on the floor.

  “Luce.” Jude looked back at me, his face composed. “Wait for me in the hallway,” he said. “I’m not going to kill him,” he added, answering me preemptively.

  “Jude.” I wasn’t going to leave him alone this Sawyer.

  “Look at me,” he said, waiting for me. “I’m fine. I won’t kill him.” And then, he looked all meaningful at me. “Trust me.”

  This was my chance. My chance to show him the trust I’d denied him. The trust he’d deserved that I’d felt he hadn’t. How could I say no and expect us to ever have a fighting chance?

  I didn’t want to, I didn’t like it, but it was necessary. “Okay,” I agreed.

  That grin I hadn’t seen on his face in so long I thought had disappeared for good appeared. “I’ll be right out,” he said. “Could you send Holly in? She’s waiting in the hallway and I think she’s going to want to see this.”

  Trust. Trust. Trust. “Okay. I’ll wait outside,” I said. “Don’t keep me waiting too long.” Heading for the door, I smoothed my dress back into place, trying to do the same with my hair.

  Propped against the wall, Holly had obviously been placed there to make sure no one tried to interrupt Jude and the ass beating he dealt Sawyer.

  Her eyes ran down me, her face shadowing. “Are you all right?”

  “Yeah,” I answered, coming up to her. “Jude’s asking for you in there.”

  She nodded, shoving off the wall. Turning to me, her hands found mine. “Are you all right?” she asked again as a silent exchange took place between us. On a very base level, I got it, I got her, and she got me too. We were like the sisterhood of girls Sawyer preyed on and, although it wasn’t a common denominator to be proud of, it was a bond to be proud of.

  “Yes,” I answered, looking her in the eye.

  Giving my hands a squeeze, she headed for the bedroom. “You are one tough cookie, Lucy Larson,” she said, looking down at me from the doorway. “I get what Jude sees in you.”

  Going against every urge to run back into that room, I didn’t. I hadn’t trusted Jude, I hadn’t given him the benefit of the doubt before. I would now.

  I earned a few sideways looks from a couple of girls sitting at the top of the stairs, but the second floor was mostly empty. Either the party was winding down or Holly knew how to redirect traffic.

  Fiddling with the conundrum that was the dress I had on to pass time, I gave up. No amount of tugging and smoothing would magically create more fabric to cover the parts of my body I preferred to keep covered, and it looked like I owed Taylor a new dress because, thanks to Sawyer, it had a slit up front to match the one on the back.

  Another minute went by and I assured myself everything was fine because no blood-curdling screams or gunshots had gone off in the room down the hall, but I was still anxious as all hell. So I grounded some of that nervous energy by pacing the hallway like a caged lioness.

  On my fifth turn at the stairs, Jude and Holly marched out of Sawyer’s room, Jude’s expression unreadable, but Holly smiled to herself.

  “Is everything all right?” I asked, rushing down the hall to meet them.

  Jude glanced over at Holly. “It is now,” he said, opening his arms for me. I curled into him, feeling like parts of me were melting into him. Six months of not feeling right went up in smoke.

  “What happened?” I asked against his chest.

  “Vindication,” Holly answered, patting her oversized tote. “I’m out of here. I’ve done what I came to do and m
om’s going to be pissed if I stay out all night.”

  “We are too,” Jude said, tucking me under his arm and steering us towards the stairs. “I need to get Luce home.”

  “Wait,” I stopped. “I drove with Taylor. I’m her DD tonight.”

  Jude groaned. “Hey, Holl, you mind hunting down Taylor Donovan and giving her a ride home?”

  Her face twisted. “If you’re referring to the woman who called me every name in the female book of cattiness, then yes, I do mind,” Holly called back at us, winding down the stairs. “But since you’re the one asking, I’ll put on my big girl, very not bitter panties and drive the bitch home. I’m not walking her to the front door though.”

  “You’re a saint,” Jude said, guiding me down the stairs, shoving a guy who almost spilled his beer on me to the side.

  “Has anyone seen a raving bitch with nice hair?” Holly shouted at the bottom of the stairs.

  Everyone who heard her pointed a different direction.

  “Looks like I’ve got my work cut out for me,” she said, diving into the crowd. “See you guys later.”

  “Hey, Hol!” Jude shouted after her.

  She peeked back, almost out of view.

  “My compliments on your handiwork up there.”

  She flashed us a rock on sign and disappeared into the crowd.

  “Come on,” Jude said, keeping me close, “let’s get you out of here.”

  Walking out the front door, I realized I’d never been to such a one wrong thing after another party, but as Jude led me down the stairs, I also knew I was glad I came. Slut-tastic dress, awkwardly enlightening conversation with Holly, and Sawyer trying to take advantage of me aside, I had Jude beside me, holding my hand like he was never going to let it go again.

  I’d endure a lot worse to hold this hand.

  “So what handiwork were you referring to back there?” I asked, pulling Taylor’s keys from my purse.

  He didn’t answer.

  “Oh, God. How bad is it?” I wouldn’t even let my imagination go.

  “Nothing less than he deserved,” Jude said, opening the passenger door for me and taking the keys. “She just put a warning label on him.” He shut the door and took his sweet time coming around the front of the car.

  “What kind of a warning label?” I asked as soon as the driver door opened.

  Clicking his seatbelt into place, Jude gave me a sheepish look. “The kind that’s tattooed to his groin with a list of the STDs he has.”

  I choked on my saliva. “What? You’re not serious.”

  Turning the key over, he looked at me with an expression that bled serious.

  “Oh, my god,” I breathed. “Crap, does he have an actual list?” I had even more to be thankful to Jude for.

  He lifted a shoulder. “Another girl will never have to find out,” he said, whipping the car around and heading down the driveway.

  “Anything else?” I asked, fearing the answer.

  The corners of Jude’s eyes wrinkled. “We might have Krazy Glued his hand to his dick and glued the index finger of his other hand up his nose.”

  My mouth fell open. It was as shocking as it was funny, so I laughed. I visualized the whole event, tattoo start to Krazy Glue finish, feeling totally . . . vindicated. Holly had said it best.

  “Can’t you guys get in trouble for that?” I asked when I calmed myself.

  “Probably,” he said, his own laughter dimming, “but there’s no way in hell Sawyer will report it.”

  Sawyer’d always struck me as the kind who was the tattle tale in class growing up. “Why not?”

  “Because Holly threatened to tell his parents that little Jude’s his son and then that would turn into a bonafied scandal,” he said, gloating. “A family like the Diamonds can’t afford to take a public hit like that if they hope to keep selling overpriced minivans and shit.”

  Holly hadn’t had the chance to tell me, but I’d figured it out. The silent exchange in the hall told me everything I needed to know about who fathered little Jude. “You two had this all planned out.”

  He answered with a half-hearted shrug.

  “How are you?” he asked, covering my hand with his.

  “After almost being forced to have sex with my boyfriend? Or after finding out said former boyfriend is not only an ass, but a dead beat dad? Or after finding out I’d been all wrong about you and you didn’t speak up to tell me otherwise?” I wanted to blame someone else, or circumstance at the least, but the only person to point my judgey little finger at was myself.

  “How are you feeling about all of it?” he asked, his voice gentle, such a contrast to what I knew he was capable of. “Give me a median score.”

  “I feel like shit,” I answered, and then I looked over at him. I didn’t know if it was just for tonight, or just as a friend who had my back, or as just a bit more than what he’d been to me these past six months, but he was here. “And I’m kind of great too. How about you?”

  He looked at me, his eyes light and warm. “I’m kind of great too.”

  Turning off Sunrise Drive, he pulled Taylor’s car up to the cabin. We both stared at the dark structure, waiting. It might be forward, it might be in bad taste, but this woman was grabbing what she wanted and not looking back.

  “You want to come in?” I swallowed, expecting an acceptance as much as a rejection.

  He paused, his eyes inspecting the place like it was heavily guarded. I knew that guy look of concern.

  “My parents aren’t home,” I said. “Mom had some work trip she dragged my dad on.”

  Jude opened his door. My heart lurched.

  “Your mom got your dad out of the house?” he asked, when I stepped out of the car.

  “After lacing his eggs with some hardcore narcotics,” I answered, walking up to where he waited for me.

  He was staring at the cabin again, chewing something out on his bottom lip. I also knew that man look: hesitancy.

  “It’s all right if you don’t want to,” I said, waiting beside him. “I understand.”

  “I want to, Luce,” he said, looking at my bedroom window. “I’m just not sure if I should.”

  The man who could kick anyone’s ass with his hands tied behind his back. The same man who didn’t care if all of Southpointe announced to the world he’d slept with every single and some not so single woman in the state. The same man who was deliberating coming inside a parentless house with me.

  He was a walking dichotomy.

  “Well, I am sure, so my certainty overrules your uncertainty.” I grabbed his arm and pulled him up the stairs. “Right this way.”

  He sighed, but let me lead him up the porch and through the front door. The floorboards whined beneath our feet, echoing through the silent home.

  “Do you want anything?” I asked, flipping on the kitchen light.

  He shook his head, his eyes now joining the hesitant game.

  Wanting to get him a floor above the most convenient exit, I pulled him towards the stairs, not about to let go of his hand.

  “I need to get changed,” I said, giving his hand another pull.

  It worked.

  I wasn’t sure what I was doing as I led Jude into my bedroom, but it wasn’t because my intentions were pure or impure. I didn’t have any intentions right now, I was just going with what felt right.

  “How did you know what was happening to me tonight?” I asked, pulling the chain of the lamp on my dresser. I knew I should be concerned with a mountain of questions right now, but the only reason I was asking them was to fill in the silence.

  “Holly saw Diamond and you have a fight and came and got me. And when it comes to predicting Diamond’s next moves, all you have to ask yourself what would a dickhead do and multiply it by ten and you have your answer.” He leaned into the doorway, inspecting my room like it wasn’t real.

  I was looking at him the same way.

  “Thank you, Jude.” I paused on my way to the bathroom and looked at him. I’
d believed and assumed horrible things about him. I’d become another member of the mob letting the worst shit stick to him. It made my throat burn. “And I’m sorry,” I said, hoping he could read in my eyes what my words could not convey. “Holly explained everything and I’m so, so sorry, Jude.”

  Pushing off the doorway, he took a step inside. “I know, Luce.” He gave me a sad smile.

  I disappeared behind the bathroom door, pajamas in hand, tears in eyes.

  “I didn’t think your room would be so . . . girly.” His nose was curled from the tone of his voice.

  Sliding out of the sausage casing dress, I stuck my head out. “Don’t we know better by now than to assume anything about each other?” I peaked a brow and smiled.

  He chuckled. “I’d hope so,” he said. “So you’re saying this would be a bad time to mention the five other children I’ve fathered with five different women? Or have you trailed me to all of their trailers already?”

  I flung the dress out the door, hitting his face.

  Sliding it off his face, he crumpled it up. If it was any indicator of how little fabric it consisted of, he was able to palm it in one fist before stuffing it in his jacket pocket. “I’m keeping this as a souvenir, Luce. You looked amazing.”

  “Like you were looking at the dress,” I hollered out at him, sliding into my nightgown.

  “If you wear a dress like that, Luce, here’s a pointer. Guys aren’t going to be admiring the material.”

  Everything felt like it used to. Back to normal. Well, the only normal Jude and I could ever be, but it was ours, and enough. I ran a brush through my hair a few times, just so it didn’t look like I was going for the ratty look, and stepped back into the bedroom.

  Jude was propped up in my bed, flipping through my student handbook. “I heard you got in,” he said, putting it back on the nightstand. “Juilliard, Luce. Even the dumb hick I am and I’ve heard enough about it to know that’s something to be proud of.”

  I bent a knee beneath me and sat beside him. “And I heard you got into just about any university you want. That is, if you don’t go for that whole seven figure, NFL thing.”

  He bowed his head against the head board. “Yeah, I guess.”