Seth & Greyson

  “Seth, please tell me what’s bothering you,” Callie says, shouting over the music blaring through the club.

  We’re in San Diego, of all places. I ended up here when Luke, Kayden, Callie, and I all decided to flee their hometown and take a break from… Well, life. Deep down, though, I know I’m here because I’m running away from my problems.

  “I’m fine,” I assure her, checking my messages for like the hundredth time.

  Greyson’s hardly texted me since we parted ways, and I don’t blame him. The look on his face… God, that look. It’s what haunts my dreams at night.

  I put my phone into my pocket as Luke leaves the table to go get drinks. I’m dying for a cigarette, but the place is solely no smoking.

  Callie wrings her hands on her lap then starts picking at her nails. “Seth, you’re not fine.”

  I take out my phone again, secretly willing Greyson to text me back, but the phone remains silent. “I haven’t talked to Greyson since yesterday,” I finally give in and divulge. “I think he might be upset with me.”

  She rests her arms on top of the table. “Why?”

  I shrug. “Because I might have said something mean about our relationship.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like I wanted a break.” I sigh when she frowns at me in disappointment. “Don’t look at me like that. I didn’t mean it. I was tired and overthinking things and… I didn’t mean it.”

  She keeps frowning at me the same way. “Did you tell him that?”

  “Not yet,” I tell her, disappointed in myself. Everything had been going just beautifully and I had to go and fuck it up. All I had to do was open my mouth and speak the truth, something I’m usually good at. But nooo, I had to pick that exact moment to become Speechless Seth. “But I’m working up to an apology.”

  “Seth.” She lays a hand on my arm. “Since when do you hold things in? You should never do that… it’s not healthy.”

  She’s sooo quoting me, which I find both amusing and tragic. How can I give all this fantastic advice and refuse to take it myself?

  I look at Kayden, who’s watching us, before snagging Callie’s sleeve and tugging her to her feet. “Come with me for a minute,” I say as I drag her to the bathroom, not wanting an audience when I admit what’s really going on.

  I push through the crowd of people and make my way back to the ladies’ room. “Okay, I think I might have messed up,” I spill my guts to Callie the moment the door slams shut.

  A few woman are primping like divas in front of the mirror, but they’re all too drunk to care much that I’m in here

  “What happened?” Callie asks, reclining against the sink. “Something with Greyson, I’m guessing.”

  I nod, rubbing my hand down my face. “I panicked.”

  “I’m familiar with the term,” she says dryly. “But what did you panic about?”

  “About—” I lower my voice and move aside as the door swings open and a herd of women come stumbling in. One shoots me a dirty look and I return it before fixing my attention on Callie again. “About our relationship.”

  “Your’s and Greyson’s?”

  “Yeah, I think I’m having flashbacks.”

  The women around us are being nosy little biotches, so I grab Callie’s hand and pull her into the handicapped stall. Locking the door, I let go of her arm and rake my fingers through my hair, deciding exactly how much I should tell her.

  “Seth, whatever it is, please just tell me,” she pleads. “You know you can tell me anything.”

  I pull a wary face, knowing I’m about to make her uncomfortable. “It’s about intimacy.”

  She squirms, just like I knew she would. “I can handle it.”

  “Are you sure?”

  She steps forward, squaring her shoulders. “Yes, I’m your best friend and you can tell me anything.”

  Sighing, I pace the length of the stall, restless. “I can’t go through with it…and not because I’m worried about finally going that far. It’s because I keep having flashbacks.”

  “About what?”

  I stop pacing. “Of Braiden.”

  “Do you still have feelings for him?” she asks, picking at the latch on the stall.

  “No, it’s not that...” I shake my head, trying to get my thoughts and emotions together. “It’s…it’s about getting my heart broken.”

  “It’s going to be okay.” She inches toward me and touches my arm. “Greyson’s not Braiden.”

  “I know that.” I place my hand over hers. “But sometimes, I find myself going back to that place where I’m lying in the dirt and they’re kicking the shit out of me.”

  She pulls me in for one of her teddy-bear hugs. “I know, but sometimes moving forward is the only way we can escape our pasts, right? At least that’s what you’re always telling me.”

  “I know,” I whisper, pulling her closer. “And I know nothing bad will happen. Greyson’s not Braiden and he… loves me, but I just keep thinking about that Goddamn day. I was so fucking happy, thinking life was perfect, and then they showed up, all piled into the back of that fucking truck like a bunch of robots following what the other one does. And…” Tears sting in my eyes. “And I can’t stop picturing his face—the hate in his eyes, like he was blaming me for being part of it. I thought I was over it after seeing him on Thanksgiving, but sometimes it sneaks back up on me during the worst fucking times.” Like when Greyson decided to tell me that he loves me.

  I pull back, drying the tears with the back of my hand. “Anyway, what I was going to say before I started bawling like a baby was that I was feeling a little scared about moving forward and I might have said some things to Greyson that weren’t very nice.”

  “You could try apologizing.” She tears off some tissue from the roll and hands it to me. “Sometimes saying sorry is easy.”

  I dab my eyes then chuck the tissue into the garbage. “Yeah, but sometimes it’s not. I’ve tried to say it quite a few times since we’ve been apart, but it never comes out right.”

  “But sometimes it is,” she says determinedly, being her little sparkler self.

  I can’t help but smile. “Look at you, being all wise.” I slip my arm around her shoulder. “I think it must be from all the time you’ve spent around me.”

  She cracks a smile as she unlocks the stall. “It must be.”

  We leave the bathroom and go back to the table to drink, but I barely pay attention to anything going on around me. My thoughts are stuck on Greyson and what I need to say to him to make things right.

  I think I know. I just hope he’ll give me a chance to say it.

  Chapter 16

  Seth

  After a very dramatic weekend wherein Kayden bailed on us to go fix his life, Luke, Callie, and I returned to their hometown and rented a hotel room. Callie is pretending that Kayden leaving isn’t bothering her, but I can tell it is. I’ve tried to talk to her a few times, but she’s refusing to admit how upset she is.

  After I change into my pajamas, I check my phone for a message from Greyson. I haven’t heard a peep from him in over two days, and I’m starting to get really worried he might have given up on me. The idea shatters my heart, and the pain is worse than anything I’ve ever felt. I need it to go away, like now.

  Before I can back out, I lock myself in the bathroom and dial his number. “Please, pick up. Please, pick up,” I chant as I lower myself to the floor.

  When he doesn’t answer, I decide to leave a brief message that will hopefully get him to call me back.

  “Hey, it’s Seth.” I roll my eyes at myself and sigh. “Look, I know you’re upset with me and I get it. You have every right to be, but I really need to talk to you, like super badly. And I…. I know I don’t deserve this, but I still haven’t collected on my winnings for that poker game, and this is the one thing I want. For you to call me. So please, please, just call me back.”

  I hang up and clutch the phone in my hand. One minute later, the ringer goes off, sc
aring the living daylights out of me.

  “Hey,” I hurry and answer, sounding a bit breathless.

  “Hello.” Even though he sounds a bit upset, I instantly relax at the sound of his voice.

  “I love you,” I blurt out before I chicken out. All the baggage I’ve been carrying around suddenly feels so much lighter. “Oh, this is Seth, by the way.”

  There’s a pause and then he laughs. It’s the most wonderful sound in the fucking world. Seriously, music to my ears.

  “I know who it is,” he says, sounding less tense than when he answered. “You said so on your message. I don’t know why, though. It’s not like I deleted your number from my phone or something.”

  “But you thought about it.”

  “I did a couple of times, but couldn’t bring myself to do it… To erase you from my life like that.” He pauses again. “Do you really mean it?”

  “That I love you…” I bite on my fingernail. “I really fucking do. I mean it more than I’ve ever meant anything.”

  “I love you, too.”

  “Obviously. I’m me, aren’t I?” I joke, but there’s nothing funny about the situation. Not at all. “I’m sorry I didn’t say it back at your place… I just panicked and I don’t know… I just needed some time to sort through all the bad crap to get to the good.”

  “God, I’ve missed you,” he says. “I wish you were here with me so I could kiss you or something.”

  I lean against the door and stretch my legs out. “I wish you were here, too. The good news is that we’ll be back home in four days. Then you can kiss me all you want.”

  “Oh, I plan on it,” he says matter-of-factly.

  My stomach does that ridiculous dance again as I think about being with him. Yes, I’m afraid, but the only way to get past the fear is to face it. And there’s nothing I want more than to be with Greyson.

  By the time we’ve finished talking, it’s well after midnight. When I exit the bathroom, brushing my teeth, Callie’s in bed and Luke’s outside smoking.

  Callie gives me a strange look. “Something happened.”

  I pull the toothbrush out of my mouth, unable to contain my grin. “I called Greyson,” I declare with a mouth full of toothpaste.

  “Did you work everything out?” she asks, fluffing her pillow.

  Nodding, I head to the bathroom, spitting in the sink and rinsing my toothbrush before returning to the room and climbing into bed with her.

  “I told him I loved him,” I say after I pull the covers over me.

  “You love him?” Callie pushes up on her elbow and stares down at me. “You never told me that?”

  “I know… But I do. Like a lot, a lot.”

  “And what did he say?”

  “I love you, too,” I grin like a silly nut job.

  “Seth, I’m really happy for you.”

  “I’m really happy for me, too.”

  Still smiling, I roll over and close my eyes. I realize there’s still a lot of stuff I have to deal with, but knowing I have Greyson there to help me makes it easier to face.

  Chapter 17

  Greyson

  I don’t think I’ve ever been so fucking excited to see someone as I am now. Seth and I made plans for him to pick me up at the airport. By the time I walk out of the door, dragging my suitcase behind me, it’s past ten o’clock. The winter air instantaneously stings my lightly sun-kissed skin. Shivering, I search the pick-up area for Seth and spot him leaning against his car just to my right.

  A smile spreads across his face as soon as he sees me and it takes all of my effort not to drop my bag and kiss him right here in the midst of hundreds of post-holiday travelers. The only thing stopping me is the caution in his eyes. We’re still not in the same place yet, which is okay. He has a lot of stuff to deal with, but at least he’s working on it instead of running away.

  “Hey,” I say, stopping in front of him.

  He smiles at me, takes my bag, and tosses it into the backseat. Without saying a word, he rounds the back of the car, opens the driver’s door, and climbs in. I follow his lead and slide into the passenger seat. The moment I get the door shut, he reaches over, cups the back of my neck, and pulls my mouth to his.

  “God, I missed you,” I murmur as I taste his lips.

  “Me, too,” he agrees, his fingers fumbling as he grips onto my arms. “Just FYI, we’re so spending spring break together.”

  “Works for me. I hated being apart.” I lean back and buckle my seatbelt as he drives down the ramp toward the road. “How did everything go on your trip?”

  He taps the breaks, bringing the car to a stop at a streetlight. “Well, there was a lot of drama, none of which I caused, surprisingly.”

  “With Callie and Kayden, I’m guessing?”

  He nods. “But I think,” he holds up his hands with his fingers crossed, “they might finally have worked it out. She even told her parents what Caleb did to her.”

  “Wow, that was really brave of her.”

  “It really was.” He drives forward when the light turns green. “I think they handled it pretty well, too, which restores my faith a little in parents.”

  “Not all parents are bad. And speaking of parents.” I reach into my pocket and dig out a bracelet my mother sent Seth. “My mom wanted me to give this to you.” I hand him the bracelet and he stares at it, his forehead creased. “I know it’s tacky and definitely not your style, but there’s four leaf clovers woven in the shells that are supposed to bring you luck or strength.” I shrug. “I’m not really sure which, because sometimes I zone out when she starts rambling about herbs and karma and auras, but she said something about wanting to give you some of her luck because you deserve it. And that every time you look at it, she wants you to remember how strong you are.”

  He grins from ear to ear as he clasps the bracelet in his hand. “I seriously can’t wait to meet your mother.”

  “You don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to.”

  “No, I want to.” To prove it, he slips it onto his wrist.

  We make the rest of the drive holding hands and don’t let go as we walk up the stairs to my apartment. I unlock the door one handed, and the moment I step inside and kick the door shut, Seth’s mouth is devouring mine.

  I drop my bag somewhere on the floor, not bothering to turn on the lights as we stumble back to my bedroom. We only break the kiss long enough to pull off our shirts and jeans, reconnecting as we fall onto the bed. The kiss is slow, my tongue inspecting every inch of his mouth as he does the same to mine.

  I support my weight on my arms as I roll on top of him, breathing heavily. “We can go slow…” I trail off as he slips his hand down the front of my boxers, gripping me firmly.

  My cock jerks with need and I’m seriously about to fucking lose it before we even get started.

  He swallows nervously and shakes his head. “No. No more Ferris Wheel.”

  I can’t help myself. Laughter erupts from my chest.

  He grins proudly. “That really was a good one, wasn’t it? And I didn’t even plan it.”

  I shake my head, still laughing a little, but the laughter swiftly fades as he starts moving his hand up and down.

  I struggle to breathe, needing to know, “Are you sure you’re sure? I promise we don’t have to do this now… I know you’ve had to deal with a lot lately. I don’t want to push you into anything.”

  “Greyson, I’m sure. Trust me. I’m more sure about this than anything else.” Then he pushes up on his elbow and seals his lips to mine.

  Chapter 18

  Seth

  I hate that I’m still afraid. For a moment, I put up my walls and fall straight into my usual defense mechanism, cracking some absurdly inappropriately timed joke about Ferris Wheels. Still, it gets Greyson to laugh and helps me breathe just a little bit easier.

  We start off slow, allowing our hands and mouths to search each other’s bodies. His skin is so soft, his body so amazing, and he tastes like mint and chocol
ate, completely delicious. I get lost in it. Him. Everything that is him. Nothing about the situation is funny, and I don’t want it to be.

  My nerves start to get the best of me when he rolls the condom down his length, but then he kisses me and everything is okay. Just. Like. That.

  “Are you sure?” Greyson checks for the millionth time, simply because that’s the kind of guy he is.