The Luxury of Vengeance

"Good night, General." And even then he did not move right away. It took for the sound of someone approaching for him to release Bao and walk quickly toward his rooms.

  Somewhere in the part of his mind that wanted nothing more than to see all of this end well, was the part that wanted desperately to believe that the Dragon would accept him as heir to the throne. He hated the darkness, the darkness made it far too easy to see the very space where his plans would fall apart. The soldiers would not sit aside and watch while their Empress died. The governors would refuse to pledge their allegiance to a man who was known as nothing more than the Empress's fool. All of his work would prove meaningless when the deception he had used for so long to survive turned against him.

  It made it easier for him to step through the thin door and release the servants from their duty that night. Gave him time to close the door behind them with a long relieved sigh as he stretched his body and rolled his sore muscles. It was hard work pretending to be someone else. Chien felt the deception sitting upon him each day, almost a physical burden.

  The end. The words circled in his head. If Bao kept his silence—and Chien had extracted no such promise from him—but if he kept his silence tomorrow could be the end. Tomorrow would be the end regardless. Either he would join his family in death, or he would finally take his father's throne. There was no middle ground. No acceptance. No forgiveness. No help.

  In that moment, he would stand completely alone.

  And not for the first time in the last couple of months, he wondered if that was truly what he wished.

  His eyes slipped closed as his mind swirled with more questions than answers. Before he knew it, sleep overtook him.

  He awoke to the blurry sight of someone leaning over him. For a moment, the fear overtook him. This was far too much like that night. Any moment now he would see the gleam of the sword meant to take his life. Then his vision cleared and he could see Bao above him.

  "General?"

  Bao shushed him as he rolled to lay beside him. He wore neither armor nor sword so it was clear that he had not come to drag Chien out to his execution. His dark hair was bound in a loose braid, his eyes searching Chien's face. "Do you not trust me Chien?"

  Chien's mouth opened to chastise him once again for the familiarity of his tone, but he found himself instead answering, "It is ridiculous to think that I should trust every man who warms my bed."

  "You have many men who do so, do you?" Bao's eyes narrowed.

  "That is not what I meant." Chien kicked at him and Bao released him so that he could sit up. Lying down seemed too vulnerable. "You come each night and leave before the light of dawn. There are no feelings involved in this. So why should I trust you?"

  "You truly believe that there are no feelings involved?"

  If he lied enough, he could convince himself it was the truth. "You can only be loyal to one, General."

  "Do not call me that. Not now."

  "One of us must remember our place."

  "I could remind you of your place." Bao's voice was a silky warning and Chien moved purposefully to the edge of the bed. "You use your title as a shield, but not tonight. I wish to know the truth."

  "The truth?"

  "I do not like being kept in the dark."

  Chien could not help but laugh, "Then prepare to live in disappointment, General." Chien scooted a bit further away at the very real threat in Bao's eyes. "You do not always get what you want." If you could, Chien would have his throne and this frustrating man.

  "Perhaps not." Bao conceded, "But I will have an explanation on why my loyalty to the Empress affects what happens between the two of us."

  "How can you stay loyal to her?" Bao was annoyed by his question, "Surely you must see the person she is. She will see this Empire run into the ground. Millions starving while she throws lavish banquets and plots her wars."

  "She is our Empress. No matter how much I may disagree, it would be treason to doubt her."

  "So you will kill innocents in her name?"

  "Chien, where I was raised, we had nothing but the Dragon to sustain us. If we do not have faith, then we have nothing at all. The Dragon placed her upon that throne for a reason. So I shall serve to the best of my ability. And you should do the same." His eyes did not match his words, however. Chien wondered for how long his faith had been tested. How much had he lost in his duty to the Empress? It was stupid to want to protect him. Bao could protect himself after all. But he wanted to pull the wool from Bao's eyes. Wanted to force him to see the truth.

  "You cannot be this blind. How long do you believe the Empress will allow me to live? Tomorrow, she will have secured an heir for her throne. She is not preparing to hand the throne over to me, she is plotting to overtake it entirely."

  "You want the throne?"

  He'd gone this far. Given away this much of his plan. "I want my mother and sister back."

  "Nothing will bring them back."

  "I suppose not. Because we do not always get what we want. Thank you so very kindly for this reminder, General. You may feel free to leave me now."

  "Chien." Bao pulled him back toward the bed when Chien might have stood. "You speak of treason."

  Chien sighed, "I speak of nothing, General, only suggestions and hypotheticals."

  "Why do you play the part of fool?" Because he was a fool. He was allowing Bao to pull him closer until Chien was snug against him. It was warm, too warm in the night heat, but Chien did not complain.

  "If my aunt thought I might show any intelligence, do you think she would allow me to survive?"

  Bao did not respond immediately. His lips brushed over Chien's forehead, light as a butterfly over his eyelids. He was in no hurry. He did not know that in mere hours now there would be no time. "I much prefer this version of you."

  "You have said that before."

  Bao's hand explored beneath his robe to rest against his chest. "What would it take to make you happy Chien?"

  "Does that matter to you so much?"

  "Sometimes I think you enjoy loneliness. That you want nothing more than to end your life as a miserable old man."

  "Then maybe you're the fool. No one enjoys being alone." Hiding in the darkness, jumping at every sound, afraid that that might just bring the ones who would kill him. Hours. He'd hidden for hours, his mother's sword clutched tightly in his hands.

  "Then stop trying to push me away. Let me help you. What would make you happy?"

  His aunt's head on a pike. But that would be treason. So instead he reached up to guide Bao's lips to his own. His kiss was demanding as always. Bao wanted too much, far more than Chien would ever be able to give him. He pulled away just before Chien could fear that there was nothing left. Anymore and this man might know everything. He might know his heart. That could not be allowed.

  Chien shifted his leg until Bao was cradled between his thighs. The rough cotton of the Bao's robe chafed against his skin. "Will you tell the Empress what you saw?"

  "I should. I made an oath to the Empress. It is by my oath that my people are cared for and my parents are fed. Should I violate my oath and forfeit my honor?" His finger played with the soft skin of Chien's inner thigh, but he did not move further up. "Perhaps if you could convince me."

  "General—Bao," Chien corrected when he saw the annoyed slash of Bao's brow, "I poured nothing into his drink."

  "I am not stupid enough to believe that." His hand tightened for a moment on Chien's wrist, a quick hurt before he returned to the soft, short kisses that covered every part of his face but his mouth. "Why do you find it so difficult to tell me the truth?"

  "Because this might be the end, and I do not wish to waste precious time."

  Bao was angry at his statement, he could tell in the way the kisses turned into nips. Tiny sparks of pain along his neck. "Will it be worth the price? Your plan?"

  His vengeance was worth everything. His vengeance was the only thing he had left that was truly his. "I do not wish to speak of this."

>   Bao sat up, fingers under his chin to make Chien look into his eyes, "There will come a time when you will not be able to avoid my questions."

  "There will come a time when you will see the answer for yourself."

  The nips moved downward toward his chest. Bao's fingers moving upward to encircle his erection in a loose grip. "Then if I can have nothing else, I will have you cry out my name."

  Chien might have argued, but Bao's hand tightened, and he could not deny that the sound that left his throat was dangerously close to a whimper. "I find I do not have the patience tonight to be gentle with you." Yet contrary to his words, his hand brushed softly against Chien's cheek, "You may keep your secrets tonight, my prince. And I shall not say a word to the Empress."

  "What of your loyalty?"

  Bao did not respond, instead reaching for the bottle of oil kept beside Chien's bed for this very purpose. Anger made his movements rough, but he still took his time preparing Chien. Even angry he would not hurt him, and Chien wondered what sort of idiot it took not to trust this man. He had already committed himself down this path though. Too far to contemplate turning back. So he dug his fingers into Bao's shoulders, urging him to hurry, to do something. He could only hope that he might leave a bruise, some kind mark that, for a short time, Bao had been his.

  There was a desperation to his movements. This might be the last time and he wanted to take it slow at the very same time he wanted to be greedy and take it all as quickly as he could. There were no more of the soft butterfly kisses, only the