Southern Exposure

  * * *

  I just honked when I pulled up out front of Cathy's, not wanting to mark her house anymore than I already had. Her mother waved from the doorway and we were off. It was still an hour before the game, but the parking lot was already packed. As Cathy and I made our way to the bleachers, I recognized the reporter from last night's news on the sidelines. This really was a big deal. We found a seat near the top, away from the press box. I knew it would be colder for Cathy, but even though I had fed, I was reasonably sure I would need the breeze.

  "What number is Jason?" Cathy asked.

  "Ten. How about Alex?"

  "Six."

  The band was practicing in the far corner of the field, and the cheerleaders were putting the final touches on the stadium decorations. By the time the teams came out on the field to warm up, Cathy was already cold. She went down to the refreshment stand for some hot chocolate and got back as the teams moved to the sidelines. The referees waited at mid-field while the captains from each team came out for the coin toss. Jason, Matt and Alex went out for the Warriors. I hadn't noticed before, but the players on the other team were huge. Once the coin toss was made, the referee motioned each team to a side of the field, then the players shook hands and jogged back to their respective sideline. The band marched out on the field and everyone stood while they played the National Anthem. While we were still standing, they announced the homecoming king and queen—Derrick and Lisa of course. It was game time.

  The game went back and forth, the first quarter with neither team scoring. Midway through the second quarter, the other team kicked a field goal. When they put three points up on the scoreboard, I noticed the clock for the first time. There were four minutes left in the first half. The clock resumed its relentless countdown when they kicked off—it was ticking off the time I had left. The red numerals became like a magnet, drawing my attention.

  Maybe the other team thought we would only throw, but we suddenly were able to run the ball. Jason carried several times and we slowly marched down the field. Coach called our final timeout of the half with six seconds to go and sent the field goal team out. It was a bad snap, almost over Jason's head, but he got the ball down and the kicker split the uprights to tie the game. Cathy and I waved to Jason and Alex as the team jogged off the field for halftime. Cathy went for another hot chocolate while I sat on the bleachers and stared at the clock counting down the minutes till the third quarter began.

  "You okay?" Cathy asked as she sat down next to me.

  "Yeah."

  "It's a good game. I didn't think I'd like it, but I'm glad you asked me to come."

  "So, you and Alex—the dance?"

  She blushed.

  "Jason said Alex has liked you since middle school."

  "You sure you can't come?"

  "It's a family thing, you know."

  "I'd feel much better if you were there. I'm really not sure I can manage on my own."

  "You'll do fine, just be yourself."

  "I'm not sure I know who that is."

  We continued talking most of the third quarter. Neither team scored, but we got close once, unfortunately the field goal attempt was wide right. The fourth quarter started and the final twelve minutes of the game began to tick down. My eyes never left Jason.

  The opponents managed another field goal to take the lead with only two minutes left. The crimson numerals of the clock were flying past now. Joe made a nice run back on the ensuing kickoff giving the team good field position, but not much time. Everyone was on their feet for the final drive.

  Jason completed a pass down the sideline to stop the clock and move the chains. On the next play, he got sacked and Coach had to call a timeout. Jason handed off to Matt on the next play and he rumbled down to the thirty yard line—Coach took our final timeout with thirty seconds left on the clock. Jason surprised the defense and ran the ball, going out of bounds on the twenty two yard line. Everyone looked to the sidelines for the field goal kicker, but Coach didn't send him out. I recognized the set when they lined up—Jason was going to run the play he'd thrown the ball to me on. Surprised, the other team called timeout.

  The team gathered around Coach on the sidelines. I could hear him telling them how great they'd played, and that the prudent thing for them to do was kick the field goal and take the tie, but Jason and Matt argued they wanted to go for it all. The entire team started hopping up and down, chanting. When the referee blew the whistle, the field goal team went out on the field. The bleachers fell silent as they lined up.

  "They're going for the tie," Cathy said.

  "I don't think so." I nodded toward Alex, near the sideline. He was standing at the line of scrimmage all alone. Apparently, the other team hadn't seen him.

  As soon as they lined up, the center hiked the ball. Jason stood as he caught the snap and lobbed the ball toward the corner of the end zone. I watched the clock click off the final seconds as the tight spiral floated back toward the ground. Alex caught it, still all alone. The crowd went wild as the points went up on the scoreboard—we won!

  Cathy's shriek was deafening, but almost lost in the bedlam, people hugging, or giving one another high fives. I sank back down on the bleachers, the clock showed zero—so much more than the game was over. The students rushed the field. Jason appeared above everyone, on the shoulders of his teammates as they carried him off the field. In the excitement, Cathy had also run down to the field. I spotted her with Alex. When the boys put Jason down near the sidelines, he looked up into the stands and pointed to me. I waved back. The guy from the news was already setting up to interview Coach and Jason.

  I stayed where I was. It was pointless to try and go down on the field. I could never get through the crowd to be with him. Besides, it was better if the pictures and memories didn't include me. Slowly the fans started to trickle off the field toward the parking lot. I walked down to the fence.

  "Can you believe it?" Cathy said, running up to me with Alex at her side.

  "Nice catch," I said.

  "Nothing you couldn't have done, right?" He kissed Cathy. "Pick you up at 7:30."

  "You know where I liv—"

  "Got it covered." He ran off after the other players to celebrate in the locker room.

  "Hey," Jason said, stepping up to the fence. "Not bad, huh?"

  "Congratulations!"

  Matt jogged over and they slapped five. "I think you earned that name Hollywood today, what do you think?"

  "Jason will do just fine."

  "Whatever, man." Matt jogged off after Alex.

  "Jason!" Someone called from the gate. "I don't have all day, I have to get my hair done."

  "Lisa?" I questioned. She looked annoyed. "You're taking Lisa?"

  "No, it's not like that." He started toward the gate. "Listen, I gotta run." He grabbed my hand, kissed it and then ran off to meet Lisa.

  I was in shock. I had all these feelings for him—feelings I thought we shared—and he was taking Lisa to the dance? I looked up as the lights on the scoreboard went out. It really was over.

  Cathy found me in the parking lot. "Hey, I'm going to ride home with my mom, is that okay?"

  "Sure, have a nice time at the dance."

  "You sure you won't come?"

  "Yeah. Would you do something for me?"

  "Sure."

  "Would you tell Jason that I'm real proud of him."

  "Okay. See ya."

  Truth is she'd never see me again. I climbed in the truck and blended into the procession of cars leaving the game.

  When I pulled into the garage at home, I felt completely crushed. I'd never felt so drained, so hurt. The house was still, quiet, but I knew Tink wouldn't be far. The pain seemed too intense to be emotional, but I knew it was, and at that moment I didn't care what happened. I just wanted it gone. I took off in a streak toward the only place I knew where I might suppress the pain—my pool. I might find our enemy there, but if I did, he could end this torment. I cleared the huge fallen tree with gr
eat anticipation, the pool was just around the next bend, but I skidded to a stop a few yards away. The frost of the new season had devastated the lush vegetation, leaving the pool bleak, exposed and barren. It was no longer a tranquil place of refuge. I flopped down on a fallen tree and shed silent, tearless sobs—I couldn't even do that right. When the sun finally set, I started home.