Unrequited

  man. To kiss him once more. To tell him that he was confused

  and a little frightened by what he was feeling, and to talk to

  him about it. Normally when Vic wanted to talk about

  something Shane was the one he called up. Who was he

  supposed to call and talk to about this?

  Shane was asleep once more, and Vic finally let his body

  relax a little. He closed his eyes, trying to will himself not to

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  think about this situation. Even thoughts that made his heart

  ache about Owen’s unreturned feelings were better than the

  confusion he was feeling toward Shane right now. Vic opened

  his eyes and blinked up at the dark ceiling, thinking of Owen

  and frowning a little. Did this mean he was finally moving on a

  little? Did the fact that he was beginning to lust after Shane

  like this mean that maybe he really could break free from

  Owen’s spell after all these years?

  Shane sighed heavily in his sleep and shifted slightly, and

  his hand that had been dangling off the side of Vic’s body

  reached out as he stretched, the fingers brushing over the palm

  of Vic’s right hand and then entwining themselves between

  Vic’s own fingers.

  Vic gasped a little at the unexpected touch, and he

  thought back on the three levels of pleasure he had made up to

  explain his attractions to Owen. Physical, emotional, and

  painful. It hit him then, that his requirements for emotional

  pleasure—the comfortable silences, the long talks into the

  night, the affectionate words and now, finally, the unconscious

  need to be touched even in sleep—, he felt them all from Shane.

  Those had always been missing from Owen, unless the younger

  man was feeling particularly affectionate or lost, but with

  Shane they had always been there. Offered freely without any

  sort of demands made in return other than reciprocation.

  Vic’s heart felt as if it were beating in his throat as he

  thought about their ability to sit and watch the sun set without

  speaking. Perhaps that was where he had gone wrong with

  Owen. He had simply had the levels wrong. The emotional

  pleasure, it was supposed to come before the physical, not after

  it. He and Shane already shared that emotional bond that he

  and Owen had never quite been able to form, though he was

  almost certain that neither of them had intended for it to go

  further than friendship. Now, though, now the physical aspect

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  was definitely playing a part, and it hit Vic suddenly that if he

  kissed Shane again, he would be kissed back.

  He wondered briefly if he were also to love Shane… would

  he be loved back?

  His fingers closed over Shane’s and he brushed his

  fingertips over the back of Shane’s hand. He bit his lip as

  Shane moved his head and nuzzled into the pillow beneath

  him, pulling Vic closer as he tried to get comfortable. Life was

  full of uncertainty, Vic knew that. His love life especially had

  been full of heartache and disappointments, unrequited love

  reinforced by brief, wonderful moments of tenderness.

  A lot of things in life were uncertain, but Vic knew one

  thing was certain right then. He shook his shoulder a little,

  nudging Shane and waking the other man. Shane inhaled

  quickly through his nose, surprised to be ripped from sleep

  again so soon, and he raised his head quickly to look at Vic in

  groggy concern.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked in a rough whisper.

  Vic turned a little in Shane’s arms, keeping hold of the

  man’s hand as Shane tried to pull away and give him room to

  move. He swallowed nervously and blinked rapidly at Shane in

  the moonlight.

  “I was wondering if I was right,” he said softly.

  “What?” Shane asked in sleepy confusion.

  “I was thinking that if I kissed you again, I would be kissed

  back,” Vic told him, turning completely until he and Shane

  were facing each other. He pushed up onto his elbow and

  looked down at Shane. “Would I be kissed back?” he asked

  after a stunned silence, his curiosity and need and possibly a

  little bit of the beer overriding any embarrassment.

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  Shane didn’t answer, and Vic could tell that the other man

  was holding his breath now. He leaned his head forward slowly,

  giving Shane the chance to back away if he so desired, and

  when Shane remained where he was, Vic pressed their mouths

  together chastely.

  Shane froze as they made contact, and Vic’s heart

  practically stopped as he waited for a response. Shane inhaled

  deeply through his nose and pressed forward, parting his lips

  and letting his tongue glide over Vic’s before deepening the kiss

  and pulling Vic to him with the hand that had yet to release

  Vic’s shoulder.

  They twined slowly together, all thoughts leaving Vic’s

  mind save for the need to get closer. He just needed to touch,

  to taste. He needed Shane to devour him and hold him close all

  night, and for him to still be there in the morning when Vic

  awoke.

  They parted breathlessly, Vic’s heart beating loudly in his

  ears and Shane’s breaths coming in ragged gasps as they

  clutched each other. “That…,” Shane gasped, running the side

  of his nose against Vic’s affectionately and nuzzling him. “That

  answer your question?” he asked breathlessly.

  “More,” Vic responded in the same breathless tone, the

  excitement of newfound contact making his normal brain

  function slightly difficult. Shane kissed him again, pressing

  into him until Vic was once again on his back and Shane was

  hovering over him, kissing him gently as he settled his body

  halfway on top of Vic’s.

  Vic moaned in encouragement and let his free hand wrap

  over Shane’s back, and he realized with something like a thrill

  of pleasure that Shane’s hand still held his own. Their fingers

  were entwined still, and even as Vic took note of it, Shane

  shifted his arm and brought Vic’s hand up slowly, pressing it

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  finally into the mattress beside Vic’s head and pinning him

  there gently.

  “I had no idea you…,” Vic gasped with difficulty as Shane

  finally shifted his kisses to Vic’s chin and then the tender skin

  of his neck. He closed his eyes and tried to slow his breathing

  as Shane’s breath gusted over his sweaty skin, and he tilted his

  head back to give the other man better access.

  Shane took hold of the collar of Vic’s shirt with difficulty,

  his hand reaching up from beneath Vic’s neck, and he pulled it

  down and to the side in order to give him access to more skin.

  Vic groaned a little as the material bit into the other side of his

  neck and Shane’s arm muscles flexed beneath him.

  “I had no idea,” he continued roughly, desperate to fill the

  silence for some reason. “If I’d known—”

  “Vic,” Shane whispered as he cease
d his attentions to Vic’s

  collarbone and raised his head.

  “Hmm?” Vic responded dazedly as he looked up at the

  other man in the soft moonlight.

  “Stop talking,” Shane whispered, his voice gruff and

  affectionate.

  Vic pressed his lips together and snorted quietly, and

  Shane kissed him once more, so gently that his lips just barely

  rested against Vic’s before the kiss deepened again. Vic found

  that he could barely breathe.

  Shane’s fingers trailed past the back of his neck as the

  other man pulled his arm from beneath Vic’s body in order to

  prop himself up. “You talk entirely too much,” Shane

  murmured in between kisses.

  “And you don’t talk nearly enough,” Vic told him, the last

  word cut off by Shane’s lips meeting his hungrily once more.

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  “Later,” Shane whispered demandingly as he shifted his

  body to cover more of Vic’s, and Vic instinctively lifted one leg

  and hooked it over Shane’s hip.

  The kisses continued, and Vic slowly began to realize

  exactly what they were doing. Thoughts of friendships being

  ruined and comfortable silences being dashed to bits screamed

  through Vic’s mind briefly, but as Shane’s hand came up to

  cup the side of his face and then moved up to thread lightly

  through his hair, Vic realized that he wasn’t actually afraid of

  that happening.

  Shane groaned softly and let his hands come to rest on

  Vic’s hips, his fingers sliding under Vic’s T-shirt. “It’s been… a

  while,” he murmured.

  “Like riding a bike,” Vic joked with a grin as he pulled at

  Shane’s shirt. Shane sat up and yanked it over his head, then

  immediately pulled Vic’s off as well and tossed them both to the

  ground.

  “You said you wanted me,” Vic reminded him in a low

  voice as his hand trailed through the light fuzz on Shane’s

  chest and down further, purposely bypassing his cock to glide

  under the material of his boxers and across the tender skin of

  his thigh and hip.

  Shane’s grip on Vic’s hips tightened almost painfully and

  he groaned. It was exciting and nerve-wracking, but Vic didn’t

  want it to stop.

  “Yes,” Shane answered with a hiss. “I don’t want to hurt

  you, though,” he said with difficulty.

  “You won’t,” Vic said confidently. “Did you pack condoms

  with you?” Vic asked dubiously. Vic knew he hadn’t packed

  any, knowing it would be just the two of them in a fairly remote

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  location. He had never dreamed he and Shane would ever be

  this intimate.

  “In the drawer,” Shane mumbled as he kissed Vic hungrily

  and pinned him against the mattress. He kissed him again and

  then pushed away from him, rolling off the bed and stepping

  away. “Get that off,” he said with a gesture to Vic’s boxers as he

  went to his bureau and began to dig in one of the top drawers.

  Vic hurried to obey, his stomach tumbling nervously as he

  thought about what they were about to do. He was about to

  fuck Shane. His best friend Shane. Even after the intimacy

  they’d already shared, it still boggled his mind a little.

  Shane turned back around and looked at Vic with a little

  grin, a condom in one hand as he shucked his own boxers.

  Vic’s breath hitched excitedly. Yeah, this felt right. He was

  about to fuck Shane. And it felt really fucking right.

  “Find a date on that,” Shane ordered with a little laugh as

  he tossed the condom at Vic like a Frisbee and went into the

  bathroom. “Been in there for fucking ever,” he said in a muffled

  voice as Vic snickered quietly.

  “Get the body wash,” Vic ordered as he squinted in the

  moonlight that streamed through the windows, trying to read

  the little date on the pack. “2010,” he read happily. “Damn,

  Shane, don’t these things last like, decades?” he teased.

  Shane poked his head around the corner of the doorframe

  and raised an eyebrow.

  “I’m being good,” Vic said instantly, not liking the evil glint

  he could see in Shane’s eye.

  “You look good too,” Shane growled as he walked back out

  with a bottle of body wash in his hand. “You sure you can

  handle it with just this?” he asked skeptically as he held up the

  body wash.

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  “I’m quite skilled,” Vic said cheekily as he reclined on the

  mattress and watched Shane as the man looked him over.

  There was nothing quite so erotic, in Vic’s opinion, as watching

  someone else as desire lit up their eyes and made them burn

  for you. There was nothing quite so sexy as seeing someone

  else want you like Shane wanted Vic right then. “Come on,” Vic

  whispered as he pushed himself into the center of the bed and

  rested back on his elbows. He hoped Shane could see the same

  desire in him, because Vic was certainly feeling it.

  Shane moved forward, tossing the bottle onto the bed and

  crawling slowly until he settled between Vic’s legs. He hovered

  over Vic, looking down at him and breathing shallowly. “You’re

  sure?” he asked one last time. “I don’t want to hurt you at all.”

  Vic smiled reassuringly and said, “One of us’ll get hurt if

  you don’t get on with it.”

  Shane took his sweet time about it despite Vic’s threats,

  pleas, and shameless moans, though Vic wasn’t really

  complaining since, despite the other man’s protests about

  being out of practice, Shane obviously knew exactly what he

  was doing. By the time he sat back to roll the condom on, Vic

  was clutching at the sheets and panting, biting his tongue to

  keep himself from demanding to be fucked right that instant.

  He wanted Shane inside him, but he also wanted it to last as

  long as it could.

  Shane leaned over him, kissing him passionately as he

  guided the head of his cock to rest against Vic. He continued to

  kiss Vic as he rocked gently, putting more and more pressure

  on the muscles with each rocking motion and stimulating them

  beyond anything Vic had experienced in quite some time. He

  wasn’t as promiscuous as he had been in his youth, and he

  rarely bottomed anymore save for with Owen, who never did

  anything slowly like Shane was now doing. Vic clutched at the

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  other man, moaning appreciatively into his mouth as the

  stimulation continued.

  “Ready?” Shane asked huskily as he pressed their

  foreheads together and his breath gusted across Vic’s face.

  “Fuck yes,” Vic answered eagerly, his stomach flipping

  once more as he thought about just who exactly he was doing

  this with. “Shane,” he moaned wantonly as Shane pushed

  carefully into him, loving how it felt to say it and groaning in

  ecstasy at the overwhelmed sound Shane made in return.

  Shane’s breath came in short pants as he tried to go

  slowly and allow for V
ic to adjust to the intrusion, and when

  the burn finally ebbed, Vic turned his head and bit Shane’s

  ear, tightening his muscles to indicate that he was just fine,

  thank you, and to get on with the fucking.

  “God, yes,” Shane breathed as he started an agonizingly

  slow rhythm, pulling out almost completely before slowly

  pushing back in. Vic moaned helplessly and his back arched in

  pleasure, and Shane reached down and hooked his elbow

  under Vic’s knee, pulling Vic’s leg up and changing the angle of

  his thrusts so that it made Vic cry out unintelligibly. “Vic,”

  Shane gasped desperately against the moist skin of Vic’s neck

  as he quickened his pace.

  “Oh, fuck yeah,” Vic managed to respond, though his brain

  was slowly short-circuiting and his body screamed that it liked

  Shane’s attentions a lot.

  Shane’s panting breaths came in Vic’s ear as Vic’s own

  labored gasps were forced out of him by every thrust. He

  turned his head, inhaling the scent of the other man and

  forever ingraining the smell in his brain as the one that smelled

  of sex. Nothing else would ever again come close, Vic knew.

  Shane’s body tightened above him, holding him close and

  pressing into him as he murmured words into Vic’s ear. Words

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  that made Vic’s heart thud in his chest and his cock throb with

  the need for release.

  “Holy fuck, Shane,” Vic managed through labored gasps.

  Shane’s free hand slid up the mattress to tangle in Vic’s

  hair and hold him still, stopping the rocking that Vic’s body

  had been doing with each thrust and making Shane’s cock

  drive even deeper.

  “God, yes!” Vic shouted as Shane pushed deeper and

  deeper into him. He couldn’t breathe, save for the occasional

  gasp that was forced out by his struggling lungs, and his

  stomach muscles clenched almost painfully with the strain of

  keeping his hips off the mattress as Shane rocked into him.

  “Vic,” Shane hissed into his ear, sending thrills through

  Vic’s body. Rarely did he hear his name said with such

  desperate passion. Shane continued, his thrusts slowing as he

  tried to hold off.