Warsworn

  “Oh.” He was clearly disappointed as he started to gather more.

  “And what do we have to be careful of when we use this plant?” I asked him gently.

  He frowned a bit, then his face cleared. “Not to use it on a dirty wound. It will seal the dirt inside, if you are not careful.” He bit his lip. “I could not have used it on your feet.”

  “That’s right,” I nodded. “And it’s dangerous to use on a gut wound for the same reasons.

  Marcus grunted at that. “Does it have to be fresh?”

  “I was told that it works just as well dried, just not quite so quickly.”

  “I can think of other uses.” Isdra smiled slyly. “It would be handy at moon times. Would it grow on the Plains?”

  I flushed, uncomfortable even as I shrugged. She spoke so casually about something that wasn’t discussed out loud by my people. At least, not in mixed company.

  Epor had dismounted, and was looking at the leaves he was holding. His horse nosed his hand, but threw its head up when he offered it the leaves. “Would it work on a horse?”

  “Why is it always about horses with you people?” I snapped, suddenly irritated.

  There was an uncomfortable silence. The surprised looks on their faces made my pique vanish. I looked down at Marcus’s back and mumbled. “I don’t know.”

  Gils, bless his youth, was oblivious. “I’s filled my bag, Warprize.” His arms were filled with his pickings. “I’s can fill another, if you want?”

  “That would be good.” I looked around, amazed to see that the little plant was spread through the grass as far as I could see. “Two handfuls in each warrior’s kit would be useful in case of injury.”

  Gils quickly handed out his crop, making sure that each had at least two handfuls. Even Marcus took a supply. Gils placed his own in his saddlebags and then mounted. “I’ll pass the word, Warprize. Two handfuls”

  “Tell them to dry it well, Gils.” I called after him as he galloped off. “We’ll see to Cadr once we stop for the night.”

  Rafe mounted up as well, and Marcus headed us back toward the army at a more sedate walk. “Hisself will not like his warriors stopping to pick posies.”

  “They all have to pass water at some point, don’t they?” I pointed out.

  Rafe laughed, but Marcus just grunted.

  As we returned to our position in the flowing mass of warriors, Marcus was careful to thread his way back into the direct center. Rafe and Prest rode ahead of us a little ways, and Epor and Isdra faded behind us. They didn’t really try to maintain any kind of position, since there were warriors all around us. I shifted, trying to get comfortable, and tried not to sigh in Marcus’s ear.

  Marcus must have heard me, for he cleared his throat. “Epor meant no offense, Warprize, asking about the healing of horses.”

  “I know, Marcus.”

  I yawned, tired now that the excitement was over. It had been a brief change from the monotony of the days since Keir of the Cat, Warlord of the Plain, with his dark hair and flashing blue eyes, had taken me up on his horse and reclaimed me as his Warprize. I fingered the leaves that I still held in my hand. Eln would be so pleased to hear that bloodmoss thrived in this area. I could send him a plant with the next messenger, dig it up, roots and all, and wrap it in wet cloth. Even his dour face would crack with a smile at the sight. I’d laugh to see it—except that I wouldn’t be there.

  Suddenly, it all seemed too much. A flood of sickness rose up in my body, a sickness of the heart for which there was no cure. I was all too familiar with this feeling, for I was sick for my home, for the castle and the people that I’d left behind in Water’s Fall. For Anna’s stew and Heath’s teasing, and my old room with its four familiar stone walls. I’d lived my whole life in sight of the castle of Water’s Fall, and I felt sick at the idea that I’d never see it again. I sighed, trying not to feel sorry for myself and failing.

  “You’ve not been yourself, Warprize.” Marcus had his head turned, and I could just see his nose and lips under the hood of the cloak. His voice dropped to a low, gentle tone. “You’re not eating, and I’m thinking that you’re not sleeping either.”

  I watched the ground pass below us. “I’m fine.”

  “Are you pregnant?”

  I dropped my head onto his shoulder and groaned. “Marcus . . .”

  “It’s a fair question.” Marcus replied. “Our women take precautions in the field, but you Xyians have such strange ways . . .”

  “I am not pregnant.” I growled. I didn’t want to think about that, although he was right. I hadn’t taken any precautions. My courses were due any day. But the idea of being pregnant raised issues that I didn’t want to consider. Of things that Keir and I had yet to talk about.

  “Then what is wrong, Lara?”

  The fact that Marcus was using my name, a rare event, told me that he was worried. I opened my mouth, but the truth would not come. “I’m fine, Marcus. Truly.”

  He snorted. “As you say, Warprize.” He stiffened in the saddle, and I knew that I had upset him. This scarred little man had come to mean a great deal to me within a short period of time. He was fiercely loyal to his Warlord, and I was included in that loyalty. I wasn’t sure that was by virtue of my own self, or the fact that I was Keir’s chosen Warprize. Regardless, how could I confide my worries and fears to him? He already held Xyians in contempt on general principals. My fretful complaints could only heap wood on that fire.

  I settled for an obvious question. “When do you think we’ll stop for the night?”

  “A few hours yet, Warprize. Hisself will keep us moving until we lose the light.”

  “Why is he in such a hurry?”

  “Hisself has his reasons. You’re to be confirmed when we reach the Heart of the Plains, and the sooner the better.” Marcus’s tone was a clear indication that the topic was now settled.

  I looked about for a different distraction, and caught a glimpse of Epor reaching over to tug on Isdra’s braid. “Epor seems sweet on Isdra.”

  “Eh?” Marcus growled. “Sweet? What means this?”

  I floundered for the unfamiliar words. “That he cares for her.”

  There was an unnatural pause. I leaned forward. “Marcus?”

  “They are bonded.” He spoke grudgingly, almost as if the words caused him pain. “Do you not see the ear spirals?”

  “Bonded? Is that the same as married?” I twisted about, trying to get a better look at their ears, but Marcus had apparently grown weary of me.

  “Ask Epor. Or Isdra.” His tone was curt and he whistled, somehow catching Prest’s attention. Prest raised a hand, and started to move back toward us. Because I was a burden on the horse, I was traded off every hour so as not to tire any one animal. The elements forbid that a horse be over-tired. I was starting to feel like a package in a trading caravan.

  Marcus spoke as Prest moved into position. “Joden is a good man, Lara, valued for his wisdom. He is heard in senel, although he holds no rank, and even by the Elders when he appears before their councils. He will make a great Singer once he is recognized as such.”

  Prest drew closer, preparing to transfer me to his horse, but I ignored his outstretched hand. I leaned closer, trying to figure out what Marcus was talking about.

  “If you can’t confide in anyone else, you can confide in a Singer.” Marcus’s voice was so soft, it was almost a whisper. “Words spoken to a Singer are held to his heart, where they cannot be pried free. Talk to Joden, Lara. Please.”

  With that, they transferred me to Prest’s horse without breaking stride, and Marcus faded back and away into the crowd.

  Prest was a full head taller than Marcus and easily twice as broad. I rather dreaded riding with him, since I couldn’t see over his shoulders. That meant my stomach would be upset by the time I left his horse.

  Prest also wasn’t much of a talker, which left me free to dwell on my miseries. If Atira were here, I might be able to confide in her, but she’d been
left in Water’s Fall, under the care of Eln. Her leg would heal true, but the break would not let her travel. Even surrounded by thousands of warriors, I felt terribly alone. Keir had been absent now for two days, and part of me feared he’d decided that this Warprize no longer interested him. Maybe I could talk to Joden, confide in him. Joden had helped me so much when I’d been taken to the camp. He’d been the one to figure out that I’d been lied to by Xymund, my late half-brother. But I felt so very stupid and silly. Like a spoiled child with a broken toy.

  Just how could I tell anyone how miserable I was? Firelanders already had a fairly low opinion of soft city folk, and if I started complaining it would only strengthen their beliefs.

  I shifted my weight slightly and gripped Prest around the waist, trying to get comfortable. At least this much had improved. The first five days I’d ached so badly I’d thought to die. Spending day after day in the saddle had wearied my body in ways I didn’t think possible.

  “Gurt?” Prest held up a soft pouch.

  “No,” I replied softly, trying not to shudder as my stomach heaved. “Thank you.”

  Prest grunted and popped a morsel in his mouth.

  ‘Gurt’ is a kind of dried cheese, apparently made from some kind of goat-like animal. It looks like a small white pebble, which can be chewed, dissolved in water to drink, or melted over meat. Firelanders eat it at every meal. It stores easily, and never seems to spoil. They all carry a pouch of the stuff with them. While I had gotten to enjoy the taste of their kavage, gurt was another matter. It’s horrid, bitter and dry, like a green apple in early spring. It was especially bad when they melted it over cooked meat.

  An army on the move has a limited diet. At every meal, it was cooked meat, gurt, and fry bread. Small bits of the dough were thrown into a pan of fat. That wasn’t too terrible, but eating it day after day—well, I never really appreciated Anna for her skills. Or the marvels that Marcus prepared when we were in the camp outside of Water’s Fall.

  But that had been a full camp. While we traveled, we made an overnight camp, which was a completely different thing. We no longer had the command tent, which was almost as big as some houses, and took a full day to erect. Now it was tiny little shelters that you crawled into to sleep. Or not sleep, as was my case. I’d lay alone in the small tent, wrapped in blankets, and stare at the covering around me. Every little sound, every step of a passing sentry, every snort of a horse, every lump in the hard ground under me had my eyes open for most of the night.

  It wasn’t so bad when Keir was with me. For some reason I could sleep in his presence. Well, truth be told, I could sleep in his arms. But he had duties and had to travel from one end of his army to the other, and it spread out for miles. So there were some nights when he wasn’t in our shelter, and I had not seen him at all for the last two days.

  Firelanders could sleep in the saddle. If I tried that, I got sick. Firelanders, in the saddle, could repair tack, or sharpen blades or argue or, Goddess help me, talk.

  Which was another thing. We had horses in Xy. I’d been taught to ride as a child, and have ridden many times. But in the city I rarely bothered. By the time a groom had saddled one for me, I could be halfway to where I was going. You had to worry about tying them to things and leaving them for long periods. I’d never been really enamored of the beasts; they were a form of transportation and not much more.

  But I’d learned fast that Firelanders had relationships with their animals. Horses were treated like small children, acknowledged and admired. One of the worst insults imaginable was ‘bragnect’ which meant ‘killer of foals’. Now that I knew what the word meant, I was much more careful about how I used it.

  And just like proud parents are wont to do, they talk about horses. Constantly. Obsessively. They’d discuss the details of ears and mane and gaits until I wanted to scream. They had seventeen words for a male horse and could talk for hours about saddles. They loved to modify saddles with hooks and protrusions and supports, and talk out the advantages and disadvantages. Their world is very dependent on their animals and it was fascinating for about the first day. After that, I tired quickly of horses and horse talk.

  And that was another thing. All this talk was out in the open where everyone could hear. They had no sense of modesty or privacy that I could see. I’d had one rider come up and start to discuss the state of his bowels without a qualm, in the middle of a moving mass of warriors. You couldn’t really talk to anyone without being overheard.

  Ahead of us there was a shout. I peered around Prest’s shoulders to see one warrior launch himself at another, carrying him to the ground. The horses shied and shifted a bit, but everyone just kept moving as the two rolled on the ground, fighting. Their horses had moved off, to eat grass as their human riders resolved their differences.

  Which was another thing. These people had such fiery tempers and they had no hesitation of attacking for any slight. It was only the exchange of a token that allowed safety for the speaker of offensive words. In Xy, challenge was made clear, with a chance to prepare. Not with these people.

  So here I was, Warprize to the Warlord of the Plains, acclaimed before my people and his, praised and admired for my willingness to journey to a new and strange place, to be a bridge between his people and mine. What would they think, to find out that I was sick to my stomach, hungry, exhausted, dirty, alone and certain that the Warlord had lost interest in me?

  I heaved a sigh, and tried to tell myself that I was being a soft city woman. That I had no right to complain over minor problems like this. That I was being foolish.

  My stomach rolled over, and I focused my eyes off to the side, on the trees in the distance, and tried very hard not to cry.

  Joden was broader than Prest, but not so tall. Once I was behind him, I propped my chin on his shoulder and looked ahead, which would help settle my stomach. Eventually.

  “You look unwell, Warprize. Are you pregnant?”

  Goddess, was every Firelander going to ask me that? “No,” I spoke, my tongue sharper than I intended. “I am fine, Joden.”

  He was silent for a moment, then shook his head. “No, something troubles you, Warprize.” Joden’s deep voice seemed to resonate through his chest and right into my bones.

  I sighed. This was the man who had helped me before, by explaining the meaning of my title. Perhaps he could help me again. “Joden, words spoken to a Singer are private, right?”

  Joden turned his head, trying to see my face. “Yes, if told to a true Singer under the sky. You need to confide, Lara? Something private?”

  I nodded. “Just between us. You wouldn’t tell anyone?”

  He turned the other way, digging in the pocket of his saddle bag. “I am not yet a full Singer, Lara. But words between friends can be held as private.” He pulled out a small string of bells and reached forward to tie it in his horses’s mane. The soft bells rang with every step the horse took.

  Without a word, the riders around us melted back and away, clearing a space around us. As I watched, I noticed that they didn’t seem alarmed, or even curious as to what we were doing. “What are those?”

  “Privacy bells.” Joden seemed to understand my question. “For when you wish to talk or confide without being overheard. The bells are a request for privacy. Don’t you have such?”

  “No.” I leaned forward and kept my voice down. “When we want privacy, we go off into a room alone and close the door.”

  Joden snorted. “Alone is not easy in the Plains. There are few doors in the tents of my people. Fewer still in the winter shelters. If you hear bells, it’s because the person wants to be left alone or is speaking privately with someone.”

  I frowned, thinking. “Keir didn’t use them in camp.”

  “A command tent carries with it its own privacy, Warprize.” Joden seemed to settle in the saddle, as if making himself more comfortable. “Now, Lara, between friends, what is wrong?”

  “Oh, Joden.” I blinked back tears. “This is so much ha
rder than I thought it would be!”

  “Ah,” Joden nodded. “You miss your home. That is norm—”

  “No.” A sob escaped my throat. “Oh, no, that’s not—” I took a deep breath. “Joden, it’s so boring!”

  2

  I told Joden everything. How hard it was to sleep with people moving around outside the tent all the time. How much my body ached from riding the long hours day after day. How Firelanders talked about nothing but horses, horses, horses. Their coats, eyes, gaits, their withers, for hours. The food was—well, it wasn’t up to Anna’s standards, that was for sure.

  My voice sounded whiny, even to me, but I didn’t let that stop me. I poured out all of my unhappiness into Joden’s ear, as the privacy bells chimed.

  Finally, the worst of all, was that I was afraid that Keir had lost interest in me. Thankfully, I couldn’t see Joden’s face as I confessed my doubts. Keir wasn’t around, constantly moving here and there, and he didn’t always return to our tent for the night. The Firelanders had very different ideas about things, and the women warriors were all tall, strong, confident, and . . . ample.

  I lay my head down against his back. “I’m sorry, Joden. I’ve no right to talk like this. I sound like a fretful child. I mean, I did follow Keir, and I asked for this. It’s just that . . .”

  “It’s not what you expected.” I felt his voice rumble through his chest.

  “My father used to tell me about his campaigning, and his travels. How hard it was. I just didn’t realize that it was so hard and uncomfortable every single day!”

  Joden laughed. I was offended at first, but couldn’t help but laugh with him.

  “So, you thought to become one of the Plains within the space of a few days? You, that have never ventured far from your home of stone.” Joden chuckled.

  “I guess I did expect that it would be easy.”

  “And it is not.” Joden shifted a bit in the saddle and the leather creaked in response. “If Marcus has a flaw, it’s that he believes that Keir can do no wrong. Have you talked to Keir, Lara?”