Two to the Fifth

  “How do you know all this?” Cyrus asked, amazed.

  “Well, they align,” Kadence said. “They’re all lettered salts.”

  “And you understand alignment, being the Sorceress of that sort of thing,” he said. “Kadence, you just saved me an ugly experience.” He picked her up and kissed her.

  “Ugh,” she said, wrinkling her nose. “Why don’t you leave that yucky stuff for Mother? She actually likes it”

  He set her down, laughing. “I will.”

  “Beep.” That was as close as she could come to bleep, being too young to swear. It seemed that her protest had been more a matter of form than preference.

  But again he wondered: these were more potentially lethal things. Could it be coincidence that the pastel line was taking them past such dangers?

  “Where’s Melete?” Kadence asked.

  Cyrus felt his pocket. It was empty. “Oh, no—I forgot to pick her up from the tree branch this morning!”

  “That bleeping demoness distracted us,” Rhythm said. She evidently did not have the same trouble with swearing that her daughter did.

  “I must go back for her.”

  “We don’t have time to do it without being observed. We’re already running late”

  She was right. “I’ll just have to pick her up when we return,” he decided. He wasn’t comfortable about it, though. If he lost the Muse, how could he ever write his next play?

  They followed the pastel line, which meandered so that soon Cyrus had no idea where they were going. It did lead them past enough pie trees to keep them fed, and to another campsite as evening approached. This one was by a nice-looking lake.

  Cyrus did not quite trust this. “Anything could be in there,” he said.

  Indeed, shapes were appearing. One was bare breasted. “A mermaid!” Kadence exclaimed.

  “Hello,” the figure said. “I am Carla, your mermaid.” Her tail formed into legs, and she strode from the water. She was no longer bare, but formally clothed. That was just as well, because the maid’s bare body in the water had tried to compel his gaze, and he had felt Rhythm’s annoyance. She didn’t like him staring at other women’s bodies, for some reason.

  A merman followed, similarly adjusting. “I am Carlos, your merbutler.”

  “But we don’t need—” Cyrus said.

  Rhythm concentrated for half a moment. “They mean no harm,” she said, evidently having invoked more magic.

  “Of course we don’t,” Carla said. “We are here to make you comfortable during your stay by our lake”

  Cyrus did what he should have thought to do before, and riff led through his memory bank. “You have an estate under water,” he said. “Where guests can breathe.”

  “Indeed we do,” Carlos agreed. “This way, please.” He walked back into the lake.

  Cyrus exchanged a look with Rhythm. This might be worthwhile, but he didn’t fully trust it, because the pastel line had been leading them past seemingly coincidental dangers.

  Rhythm nodded. She would be alert. She took his hand, and Kadence’s hand.

  “You’re beautiful, when you try, Mother,” Kadence remarked.

  Now Cyrus realized what he hadn’t noticed in his distraction: Rhythm had assumed her adult form. She must have invoked the Decade spell when the merfolk appeared. Why?

  “So they won’t separate us, dear,” Rhythm replied to his thought, squeezing his hand suggestively.

  Oh. How had he won the love of such a passionate princess? He surely did not deserve it.

  “You didn’t win it,” she said. “It was given to you, and you spurned it”

  He had been trying to honor the Adult Conspiracy. He should have known he never had a chance when a jealous Sorceress fixed her eye on him.

  “Right on,” she agreed.

  They were now below the surface of the lake, breathing naturally. The distraction of Rhythm had made him miss the actual immersion.

  “I’m a wild one,” she agreed. “I’m barbaric.” She loved teasing him about his quest for a barbarian wench.

  “Mother, I wish you would stop answering his thoughts,” Kadence said. “It drives me crazy wondering what horrible Conspiracy things he’s thinking at you.”

  “That’s the beauty of the Conspiracy,” Rhythm agreed. “It tortures children every which way.”

  “I was just basking in the love of your mother,” Cyrus said to Kadence.

  The merbutler led them to a fine house. “Carla will make your bed while I serve your dinner,” Carlos said.

  “What about me?” Kadence asked.

  A third mer person appeared. “I am your mernanny,” she said. “I will see to your needs this night”

  Kadence was surprised. “What needs?”

  “For relaxation and entertainment. Do you like I-scream? Cookies? Tsoda pop? Pewter games?”

  Kadence smiled. “Those are my needs,” she agreed.

  The butler was as good as his word. He served a sumptuous dinner with ent wine at the start and intert wine at the end. The first twisted Cyrus’s mind pleasantly, and the second made the two of them socialize closely. He could hardly wait to be alone with Rhythm in the bedroom.

  Then he had a horrible thought. “The hour has passed!”

  “No it hasn’t, dear. I’m using illusion to emulate my adult self. I’ll invoke the spell when we’re alone”

  He stared at her. “But my thoughts—I didn’t limit them. There may have been all manner of forbidden things. Especially after the second drink”

  “There were,” she said smugly.

  “And your appearance, that dress—you’re showing the upper surfaces of full breasts.”

  “It’s nice to have my effort of illusion appreciated.”

  “Do you realize you’re getting me deeper and deeper into Violation?”

  “Deeper and deeper,” she agreed dreamily. “I’ve got rhythm, of course”

  He blushed. “I didn’t mean it that way!”

  “I did.”

  “You minx! You should be ashamed.”

  “Yes. Awfully. You should spank me.” She sent a mental image of a bare bottom.

  He was appalled. That was no child’s bottom. “Rhythm—”

  “Let’s skip dessert,” she said, producing the Decade sphere. “This will do instead”

  He could not argue. He had been hopelessly compromised, and was even more hopelessly in love.

  They adjourned to the bedroom, which the mermaid had prepared very nicely. They kissed and fell together on the bed and generated the most intense ellipsis yet.

  Then, as they lay panting after the effort, Rhythm paused sharply.

  “What?” he asked, bemused that she could do that. Other people’s pauses were usually dull, not sharp.

  “Kadence. She’s in danger.” She scrambled off the bed, grabbing for her clothing, which resembled her illusion dress exactly.

  “We shouldn’t have trusted her away from us,” Cyrus said, diving into his own clothing, which he had somehow managed to shed beside the bed. “That nanny—”

  “Not her fault,” Rhythm said. “This is something else”

  They hurried out of the room and went to Kadence’s room. They charged inside without knocking.

  The child was reaching for an object. It looked like a small statue of a mermaid, with beautifully flowing hair, a full bare bosom, and a splendid tail. The nanny was watching, unconcerned.

  Both paused as the two burst in.

  “Don’t touch it!” Rhythm cried.

  “It’s harmless,” the nanny protested. “It’s just a statue of my grandmother in her prime. She was a supreme object of desire.”

  “I’ll touch it,” Rhythm said grimly. She went up and poked one finger at the statue.

  The statue exploded into vapor. A noxious cloud formed, then shaped into a horrendous demon. “I am the object of D’s ire,” he proclaimed. “Anyone who touches me suffers my ire. Woe to you, you nasty brat.” His huge hands moved forward as
if to catch and squeeze someone’s puny neck.

  Only it was Rhythm’s neck they closed on, not the child’s. “Woe to who?” she asked evenly as electricity played about the contact.

  “What the bleep are you?” the demon demanded, surprised.

  “I am the Sorceress Rhythm. And you are about to be one hurting demon. Did you think you could attack my daughter and not answer to me?” The electricity intensified.

  The demon tried to let go, but the current held his hands locked in place. “Ooooww!” he howled in pain.

  “Exactly.” The current intensified further. Smoke began to rise from his burning hands.

  “I didn’t knooow!” he protested. “I was just following orders. Oooo, that smarts!”

  “What orders?” Cyrus demanded.

  “To eliminate the child”

  So there was a plot! “Who gave them?”

  “It was—was—” But then the demon exploded into awful nothingness.

  “Bleep,” Rhythm swore. “I overdid it”

  The nanny was staring at them, horrified. “I had no idea!” she said. “The nasty demon must have taken the place of my statue. I’m so sorry. I never would have led any child into danger”

  Rhythm glanced at her, and nodded, verifying that she was telling the truth. “You had no way of knowing. But I think I had better keep my daughter with me now, just in case.”

  “Yes, by all means,” the nanny agreed, shaken.

  “Can she come too?” Kadence asked plaintively. “She’s nice”

  Rhythm laughed. “Very well, but she must agree not to tell what she sees of our private lives.”

  “Oh, of course,” the nanny agreed. “Nannies see everything, and tell nothing”

  It was surely true. So they retired to their own room, bringing Kadence and the mernanny along. As it turned out, the nanny continued to keep the child entertained, so that Cyrus and Rhythm could get some rest and sleep. Rhythm reverted to girlform, lying beside him, and the nanny pretended not to notice.

  But Cyrus lay for some time awake. They had confirmed that someone or something was out to get Kadence, so the other dangers were not coincidental. Kadence had almost lain down on the death bed, and there were also the plants growing ales. But who could it be, and why?

  The question suggested an answer: Ragna Roc. Cyrus was supposed to use his troupe to get Rhythm close to the nasty bird, so she could nullify him. If anything happened to her or her daughter, she would be unable to complete her mission. She might be only twelve, but she loved Kadence, as he did, and would be devastated. Rhythm could take care of herself, as the scene with the demon had just made uncomfortably clear, but though Kadence was a Sorceress in her own right, she lacked the experience to defend herself against anything as malign as a demon.

  But if Ragna Roc knew about them, how could they ever get into his presence to nullify him? And why were the threats so devious? Why didn’t he just send a warrior to take them all out? The bird lacked any inhibitions about foul play, and would happily destroy them. So that must mean the big bird didn’t know about them.

  Then how to explain the threats?

  “Dear,” Rhythm murmured sleepily, “your thoughts are disturbing me. If you don’t stop, I’ll distract you from them”

  He knew exactly how she would do that, even if it freaked out Kadence and the nanny. He had to stop worrying.

  She took his hand. “That’s better”

  Holding hands wasn’t really a Violation, he told himself. Adults held the hands of children all the time. Still, he felt guilty.

  “That, too,” she said. “Go to sleep.” And she backed it up with a spot sleep spell. He was unconscious until morning.

  The merbutler and mermaid were jointly appalled when they learned of the incident with the demon. It seemed that, true to her word, the nanny had not told them. “We never!” the butler said.

  “Never!” the maid agreed.

  “We know,” Cyrus said. “Your hospitality has been impeccable. We have been beset by similar problems throughout our journey. We thank you for an otherwise excellent night”

  Rhythm added her endorsement, and when they still fretted, added an acceptance spell. Then they walked up out of the lake and resumed their journey.

  “I dislike showing magic,” Rhythm said, “but I think we had better hurry before something else happens. We’re behind schedule anyway”

  “Hurry?”

  “Take my hand.” She caught his hand and Kadence’s. The scenery around them changed. They were now standing at the entrance to the Stork Works.

  Oh. Cyrus nerved himself for the challenge to come.

  10 DREAM

  Stymy Stork was courteous but regretful as the three of them sat in his office. “I am sorry to have to bring up such a matter, realizing that the two of you were swept away by circumstance. But what ever the circumstance, Violation of the Adult Conspiracy is a most serious matter. As Head Stork, and deliverer of the bundle, I share some blame; this should never have been allowed to happen.”

  “I know it,” Cyrus said. “And I am mortified to have done it. I am ready to accept what ever penalty is required, except—”

  “This is irrelevant,” Stymy said.

  “Except I want no harm to come to Princess Rhythm or Kadence, who deserve no rebuke.”

  “There seems to be a misapprehension,” the stork said. “You are not being charged.”

  “Not—what?”

  “You are the Victim, not the Perpetrator”

  Cyrus stared at him blankly. “Victim?”

  “According to our records, Princess Rhythm was age twenty- two when the Violation occurred. You were two. She is guilty of Child Molestation”

  Now Rhythm and Kadence stared at him, open mouthed. “Two?” Rhythm asked after a ragged two thirds of a pause.

  “I’m six,” Kadence said, a little swirl of confusion circling her head.

  “I was assembled adult!” Cyrus protested.

  “I realize that,” Stymy said. “But our records are somewhat literal minded. I remember when there was a five- year confusion that caused me to decline to make a delivery, leading to serious complications. I don’t want to make any such mistake again. That’s why I elected to handle this matter personally”

  Cyrus had the ugly impression that no matter how apologetic this talking stork was, he would do what he felt was proper. That could be deadly to Kadence. Meanwhile Rhythm’s silence was ominous; if there did turn out to be any threat to her daughter’s existence, there would be serious mischief. So he had to ease the crisis however he could.

  “What is required to straighten this out?” Cyrus asked.

  “Three things. First we must establish that you are adult, so that no abuse occurred. Second, we must establish the current age for Kadence, so that she herself does not later suffer the same complication that Surprise Golem did.” Stymy covered his beak with a wing. “Oops! I should not have mentioned her name. That record is supposed to be sealed. Please forget it.”

  “Forgotten,” Cyrus said immediately.

  “Third, Rhythm must be lectured on acting in a manner becoming to her age, and she must promise to reform.”

  “The bleep I will!” Rhythm snapped. “I love him.” Ka-dence giggled.

  Cyrus hastily interceded. “She means she will be glad to cooperate in any way feasible.” He moved on quickly, before Rhythm could object. “How do I establish my adult status?”

  “Merely sign a statement to the effect that you were created adult by definition, in the manner of a robot, as your father was.” A paper appeared on the desk.

  Cyrus signed it. “Done. Now Rhythm is not guilty of any infraction.”

  “Technically,” Stymy agreed with a wry curve of his beak. He turned to Kadence. “How did you become age six in only a month?”

  “Mother garbled a spell, and time accelerated,” Kadence said immediately. “That’s how the first nine months passed so quickly, and the following six years, before
she could turn it off”

  Stymy nodded. “That explains how it was that we received what seemed like a backdated signal. I assumed it was a clerical error. Evidently it wasn’t.”

  “It was a local time warp,” Cyrus said. “It seemed like only an hour or two to us, but we all aged six years. Then when Rhythm nullified the spell, she and I reverted to our natural ages, but Kadence didn’t.”

  “We had better enter her as delivered at age six,” Stymy said. “These things happen.”

  “They do,” Cyrus agreed, relieved.

  The stork turned to Rhythm. He had seemed like a rather benign bird, anxious to get the paperwork straight. Now he seemed uncomfortably serious. Cyrus remembered that he was the head of the Stork Works, and had considerable power, especially over the composition of families.

  Rhythm evidently realized it too. She was a Princess and a Sorceress, but she quailed visibly. She knew she was in serious trouble.

  “The royal children have been getting increasingly naughty,” Stymy said. “Your cousin Princess Eve—well, never mind. All of you have put a serious strain on the Adult Conspiracy. But you personally have achieved new levels of naughtiness. In fact, you are giving naughtiness a bad name”

  There was a pause. “Rhythm,” Cyrus murmured.

  She turned to him with an expression of fixed innocence. “What?”

  “Mother, say you’re sorry,” Kadence whispered.

  “Oh.” Rhythm turned to the stork. “I’m sorry.” But she did not sound completely sincere.

  “Your clothing is too tight,” the stork continued severely. “So that you attract the male eye—and you’re only twelve years old.”

  “I’m pushing thirteen,” Rhythm snapped before Cyrus could shush her. “I’ve got flesh. I’m a nascent woman.”

  “You’re a child,” Stymy said firmly.

  “I wear a bra and pan ties. See?” She pulled down on the top part of her dress and up on the skirt, exposing critical fringes.

  Both Cyrus and Kadence freaked out, for different reasons. But the stork took it in stride. “And you have an attitude problem as big as Castle Roogna,” he said. “Do you want me to inform your mother?”

  Rhythm collapsed. “Please, no!”