Ransom X

  Chapter 17 Quack Shop

  “WHOOOOO HOOO!” Mac, Brown, garbled a cry of victory. His bald head bobbing in and out of the spray of the showers. “I love to stick it to the law.”

  He licked his lips, snorted the air and water mixture deeply “It’s like fresh bread.”

  Vorest, Purple, was always looking for fresh pain. “I like both of them there at the end, it’s like having an old girlfriend and a new girlfriend at the same time.” He threw a wet towel over the plastic of his shower enclosure; it smacked the wall beside Stones. Stones didn’t flinch. “Stones, the way you gave that parting gift to the actress.”

  Stones peeled the yellow away from around his lips, said with a sly tone, “Felt like a dozen clowns getting into a compact car.” He examined his lower appendage, holding it like a jeweler cups a precious gem. “I think I’m chafed.”

  “Pussy.” Feely, Green, mocked him from across the room.

  Vorest corrected “Ass.” It was like a high school filled with felons.

  Mac ran through the divided areas with a huge bottle of hair conditioner “I’m a warthog! I’m a warthog!” He yelled splaying the white creamy fluid across Vorest, Feely, Stones, and Sean.

  Sean tried to grab the hair between Mac’s shoulder blades to slow him down. Mac squirmed away. But all too soon he found out why Sean wanted to slow him down. The stream of conditioner splashed spastically off the walls as he turned. Then it landed on something that was completely un-tiled. The blue body vinyl took a splash across the chest and Mac was face to face with their scowling leader, Blade.

  “I’m sorry, I was a warthog.” He pleaded. Blade brought his fists together, and Mac stood still waiting for his punishment with closed eyes.

  Blade wiped the conditioner off his chest with a finger then shoved it into Mac’s mouth, scrubbing his back teeth.

  A smile broke across Blades mouth like a jagged path to hell, “Take it back warthog.” Blade was in a good mood. Feely let out a high-pitched laugh, everyone joined. Blade put his arm around Mac who playfully licked his finger. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

  “A warthog cums in volume. Five hundred milliliters - “ Mac started.

  Stones cut in “Isn’t that a pig?”

  Mac continued “A pig that gets almost no action, so he stores it up. Half a liter each time he blows his wad.”

  Blade held up the bottle of conditioner. “Half liter?” He squeezed the remaining contents onto the floor. “If any of you could do that, I’d get rid of the rest.”

  Mac said “I’m going to figure out the TV receiver problem today, I’ll have it fixed – like that.” He snapped his fingers.

  Blade raised his voice for everyone to hear, “This guy fixes things,” finger snap, “like that, and I like that. He’s a good guy.” Jeers rang along the walls, Blade put up one finger to silence them. “And if he shows up on time I don’t feel much at all like killing him.”

  Vorest chimed in “We do.”

  Blade continued, “One more, one last whore. And we’re coming up to our reward.” The room became quiet they knew what came next. “We don’t live like kings, we live the life that allows us to keep living the life. People think they are better than us. I’ve never met anyone better than us. Out in the world, there’s a tidal wave of sperm swimming free because of the work you did in the last hour. The FBI-meets-actress angle drew our first million live, and it was so fucking good. Our subscribers are talking about it all over the net. It’s going to make international headlines.”

  Blade strode around the room. “We are an entertainment network, and an international incident.”

  Blade’s voice dropped with sinister finality “Killing the actress might be the best marketing we could possibly do.”

  Sean spoke up “But she made the ransom.”

  It wasn’t decency that made the room reluctant to spill her blood. “We should be consistent.” Feely agreed. Blade snapped his head toward the dissenting opinion with a brooding conflict: he looked like he wanted to kill them and thank them at the same time.

  “We riders do have a code, don’t we?” A grumble of laughter.

  “Secret ballot,” He held up five pieces of paper and distributed them among the men. “Dump the bitch breathing, or the body?”

  Feely asked, “Why don’t you vote?”

  Blade said in an even tone “It’s all the same to me.”