Was it this? or tell me, Nature, what else it was that made this morselso sweet,—and to what magic I owe it, that the draught I took of theirflagon was so delicious with it, that they remain upon my palate to thishour?
If the supper was to my taste,—the grace which followed it was much moreso.
THE GRACE.
WHEN supper was over, the old man gave a knock upon the table with thehaft of his knife, to bid them prepare for the dance: the moment thesignal was given, the women and girls ran altogether into a backapartment to tie up their hair,—and the young men to the door to washtheir faces, and change their sabots; and in three minutes every soul wasready upon a little esplanade before the house to begin.—The old man andhis wife came out last, and placing me betwixt them, sat down upon a sofaof turf by the door.
The old man had some fifty years ago been no mean performer upon thevielle,—and at the age he was then of, touch’d it well enough for thepurpose. His wife sung now and then a little to the tune,—thenintermitted,—and join’d her old man again, as their children andgrand-children danced before them.
It was not till the middle of the second dance, when, from some pauses inthe movements, wherein they all seemed to look up, I fancied I coulddistinguish an elevation of spirit different from that which is the causeor the effect of simple jollity. In a word, I thought I beheld_Religion_ mixing in the dance:—but, as I had never seen her so engaged,I should have look’d upon it now as one of the illusions of animagination which is eternally misleading me, had not the old man, assoon as the dance ended, said, that this was their constant way; and thatall his life long he had made it a rule, after supper was over, to callout his family to dance and rejoice; believing, he said, that a cheerfuland contented mind was the best sort of thanks to heaven that anilliterate peasant could pay,—
Or a learned prelate either, said I.
THE CASE OF DELICACY.
WHEN you have gained the top of Mount Taurira, you run presently down toLyons:—adieu, then, to all rapid movements! ’Tis a journey of caution;and it fares better with sentiments, not to be in a hurry with them; so Icontracted with a voiturin to take his time with a couple of mules, andconvoy me in my own chaise safe to Turin, through Savoy.
Poor, patient, quiet, honest people! fear not: your poverty, the treasuryof your simple virtues, will not be envied you by the world, nor willyour valleys be invaded by it.—Nature! in the midst of thy disorders,thou art still friendly to the scantiness thou hast created: with all thygreat works about thee, little hast thou left to give, either to thescythe or to the sickle;—but to that little thou grantest safety andprotection; and sweet are the dwellings which stand so shelter’d.
Let the way-worn traveller vent his complaints upon the sudden turns anddangers of your roads,—your rocks,—your precipices;—the difficulties ofgetting up,—the horrors of getting down,—mountains impracticable,—andcataracts, which roll down great stones from their summits, and block hisroad up.—The peasants had been all day at work in removing a fragment ofthis kind between St. Michael and Madane; and, by the time my voituringot to the place, it wanted full two hours of completing before a passagecould any how be gain’d: there was nothing but to wait withpatience;—’twas a wet and tempestuous night; so that by the delay, andthat together, the voiturin found himself obliged to put up five milesshort of his stage at a little decent kind of an inn by the roadside.
I forthwith took possession of my bedchamber—got a good fire—order’dsupper; and was thanking heaven it was no worse, when a voiture arrivedwith a lady in it and her servant maid.
As there was no other bed-chamber in the house, the hostess,—without muchnicety, led them into mine, telling them, as she usher’d them in, thatthere was nobody in it but an English gentleman;—that there were two goodbeds in it, and a closet within the room which held another. The accentin which she spoke of this third bed, did not say much for it;—however,she said there were three beds and but three people, and she durst say,the gentleman would do anything to accommodate matters.—I left not thelady a moment to make a conjecture about it—so instantly made adeclaration that I would do anything in my power.
As this did not amount to an absolute surrender of my bed-chamber, Istill felt myself so much the proprietor, as to have a right to do thehonours of it;—so I desired the lady to sit down,—pressed her into thewarmest seat,—called for more wood,—desired the hostess to enlarge theplan of the supper, and to favour us with the very best wine.
The lady had scarce warm’d herself five minutes at the fire, before shebegan to turn her head back, and give a look at the beds; and the oftenershe cast her eyes that way, the more they return’d perplexd;—I felt forher—and for myself: for in a few minutes, what by her looks, and the caseitself, I found myself as much embarrassed as it was possible the ladycould be herself.
That the beds we were to lie in were in one and the same room, was enoughsimply by itself to have excited all this;—but the position of them, forthey stood parallel, and so very close to each other as only to allowspace for a small wicker chair betwixt them, rendered the affair stillmore oppressive to us;—they were fixed up moreover near the fire; and theprojection of the chimney on one side, and a large beam which cross’d theroom on the other, formed a kind of recess for them that was no wayfavourable to the nicety of our sensations:—if anything could have addedto it, it was that the two beds were both of them so very small, as tocut us off from every idea of the lady and the maid lying together; whichin either of them, could it have been feasible, my lying beside them,though a thing not to be wish’d, yet there was nothing in it so terriblewhich the imagination might not have pass’d over without torment.
As for the little room within, it offer’d little or no consolation to us:’twas a damp, cold closet, with a half dismantled window-shutter, andwith a window which had neither glass nor oil paper in it to keep out thetempest of the night. I did not endeavour to stifle my cough when thelady gave a peep into it; so it reduced the case in course to thisalternative—That the lady should sacrifice her health to her feelings,and take up with the closet herself, and abandon the bed next mine to hermaid,—or that the girl should take the closet, &c., &c.
The lady was a Piedmontese of about thirty, with a glow of health in hercheeks. The maid was a Lyonoise of twenty, and as brisk and lively aFrench girl as ever moved.—There were difficulties every way,—and theobstacle of the stone in the road, which brought us into the distress,great as it appeared whilst the peasants were removing it, was but apebble to what lay in our ways now.—I have only to add, that it did notlessen the weight which hung upon our spirits, that we were both toodelicate to communicate what we felt to each other upon the occasion.
We sat down to supper; and had we not had more generous wine to it than alittle inn in Savoy could have furnish’d, our tongues had been tied up,till necessity herself had set them at liberty;—but the lady having a fewbottles of Burgundy in her voiture, sent down her _fille de chambre_ fora couple of them; so that by the time supper was over, and we were leftalone, we felt ourselves inspired with a strength of mind sufficient totalk, at least, without reserve upon our situation. We turn’d it everyway, and debated and considered it in all kinds of lights in the courseof a two hours’ negotiation; at the end of which the articles weresettled finally betwixt us, and stipulated for in form and manner of atreaty of peace,—and I believe with as much religion and good faith onboth sides as in any treaty which has yet had the honour of being handeddown to posterity.
They were as follow:—
First, as the right of the bed-chamber is in Monsieur,—and he thinkingthe bed next to the fire to be the warmest, he insists upon theconcession on the lady’s side of taking up with it.
Granted, on the part of Madame; with a proviso, That as the curtains ofthat bed are of a flimsy transparent cotton, and appear likewise tooscanty to draw close, that the _fille de chambre_ shall fasten up theopening, either by corking pins, or needle and thread, in such manne
r asshall be deem’d a sufficient barrier on the side of Monsieur.
2dly. It is required on the part of Madame, that Monsieur shall lie thewhole night through in his _robe de chambre_.
Rejected: inasmuch as Monsieur is not worth a _robe de chambre_; hehaving nothing in his portmanteau but six shirts and a black silk pair ofbreeches.
The mentioning the silk pair of breeches made an entire change of thearticle,—for the breeches were accepted as an equivalent for the _robe dechambre_; and so it was stipulated and agreed upon, that I should lie inmy black silk breeches all night.
3dly. It was insisted upon and stipulated for by the lady, that afterMonsieur was got to bed, and the candle and fire extinguished, thatMonsieur should not speak one single word the whole night.
Granted; provided Monsieur’s saying his prayers might not be deemed aninfraction of the treaty.
There was but one point forgot in this treaty, and that was the manner inwhich the lady and myself should be obliged to undress and get tobed;—there was but one way of doing it, and that I leave to the reader todevise; protesting as I do it, that if it is not the most delicate innature, ’tis the fault of his own imagination,—against which this is notmy first complaint.
Now, when we were got to bed, whether it was the novelty of thesituation, or what it was, I know not; but so it was, I could not shut myeyes; I tried this side, and that, and turn’d and turn’d again, till afull hour after midnight; when Nature and patience both wearing out,—O,my God! said I.
—You have broke the treaty, Monsieur, said the lady, who had no moreslept than myself.—I begg’d a thousand pardons—but insisted it was nomore than an ejaculation. She maintained ’twas an entire infraction ofthe treaty—I maintain’d it was provided for in the clause of the thirdarticle.
The lady would by no means give up her point, though she weaken’d herbarrier by it; for in the warmth of the dispute, I could hear two orthree corking pins fall out of the curtain to the ground.
Upon my word and honour, Madame, said I,—stretching my arm out of bed byway of asseveration.—
(I was going to have added, that I would not have trespassed against theremotest idea of decorum for the world);—
But the _fille de chambre_ hearing there were words between us, andfearing that hostilities would ensue in course, had crept silently out ofher closet, and it being totally dark, had stolen so close to our beds,that she had got herself into the narrow passage which separated them,and had advanced so far up as to be in a line betwixt her mistress andme:—
So that when I stretch’d out my hand I caught hold of the _fille dechambre’s_—
* * * * *
THE END
* * * * *
FOOTNOTES.
{557} All the effects of strangers (Swiss and Scotch excepted) dying inFrance, are seized by virtue of this law, though the heir be upon thespot—the profit of these contingencies being farmed, there is no redress.
{562} A chaise, so called, in France, from its holding but one person.
{580} Vide S—’s Travels: [_i.e._ Dr. Smollett’s “Travels through Franceand Italy.”—ED.]
{588} Post-horse.
{648} Nosegay.
{649} Hackney coach.
{652} Plate, napkin, knife, fork and spoon.
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