Tattered on My Sleeve

  She glances down at her hands resting in her lap and shakes her head.

  Placing my hand over hers I ask her to go for a walk with me.

  “Where?”

  “I don’t know. Let’s walk down the hill and visit the big Buddha guy.”

  The corners of her mouth lift and she laughs. “Okay. Let me go grab a sweatshirt.”

  I’m waitin’ by the door for a while and I start to wonder if she changed her mind. When she returns, she’s got a LOKI sweatshirt on that’s about two sizes too big for her, and a freshly scrubbed face.

  Reaching out, I brush my hand over her cheek. “You didn’t have to do that. I was only joking around.”

  She shrugs and takes my hand, leading us outside. Our feet crunch over the gravel as we make our way around the clubhouse and down the long driveway.

  Once we get some distance between us and the clubhouse, it’s easier to appreciate our surroundings.

  “I love it up here,” she hush-whispers. She’s walking so slow, I stop to see what she’s doing and find her staring up at the sky.

  “Watch your step, babe.”

  She drops her head and we continue our walk. Z’s got a bunch of motion-detector solar lights installed along the driveway, so we can at least see where we’re going.

  When we finally get to the statue, we sit on one of the low stone benches. Trin tips her head back to stare at the sky again.

  “It’s so pretty.”

  “Yes.” But I’m looking at her, not the stars.

  “Do you ever look up and wonder if somewhere out in all that blackness is another planet full of people?”

  This time I do lean back and take in the oil-black sky and stars. “Not since I was a kid.”

  She hums in agreement. “Do you think we’ll ever know?”

  “Maybe.” I glance over at her, but she’s still gazing up at the stars. “You okay?”

  She doesn’t answer for a while. “I’ll be thirty soon.”

  I guess I knew that. “Yeah.”

  “There was a time in my life I didn’t think I’d live to see twenty-five, let alone thirty.”

  Given what Rock’s told me about her past, I understand. I’ve certainly felt that way once or twice in my life. “I know what you mean.”

  She finally stops staring at the sky and turns to face me. “Yeah, you probably do.”

  She’s close enough to kiss, but I also want her to keep talking.

  She sighs. “I’ve concentrated on survival for so long, I don’t even know what I’m doing with my life. Or what I should do.”

  Her tone. Her words. The lost look on her face. All of it scares me. “Do you want to leave the club?”

  “No. It’s the only real home and family I’ve ever had.”

  I slip my arm around her and pull her against me. Her head drops on my shoulder. “I think that’s true for all of us.”

  To be honest, I’m shocked to be having this conversation with Wrath. I don’t know what’s gotten into me.

  Ninety-nine percent of the time, I’m happy with my life here. But there’s that one percent of me, always questioning. Is this all there is to life? Warming one bed after another? Parties? Do I want a family? Could I raise a kid in the life, the way I was? If I wanted to leave, where would I go?

  “Want to head back?” Wrath asks.

  “Not yet.”

  He stands and stretches. “That bench is killing me,” he says as if he’s apologizing for leaving my side.

  “Sorry.”

  “You’re not the only one getting older. Been abusing this body for years.”

  If by abusing, he means working it into sinful perfection then, yeah, he’s right. “Think you should give up fighting?”

  He stares down at his hands, opening and closing them into fists. “I need it.”

  Yeah, he needs to unleash his anger the same way I need to have sex to feel good about myself.

  Admitting what he probably thinks is weakness must have left him feeling vulnerable. He jumps up, grabbing a thick branch and hangs from it. Then starts doing chin-ups.

  “What are you doing? You’re going to kill that tree,” I scold.

  He lifts himself up a few more times, and yeah, I definitely admire the flexing of his arms, then he drops down. “Don’t want you to think I’m getting soft.”

  I knew it. “You’re the hardest man I know.”

  He doesn’t get all cocky, just nods.

  An unexpected yawn escapes me, and I realize I’ve been going all day. I’m tired.

  “Come on, babe. You’ve had a busy day and it’s a long hike back up the hill.” Wrath holds his hand out and I take it. He pulls me up on my feet and yanks me against him. Without thinking about it, my arms wrap around his middle and I lay my cheek against his chest. He holds me like that for a while. That’s it. His hands don’t slide down and grab my ass or anything like that. He does kiss the top of my head, though.

  Pulling away, I take his hand and we head back to the clubhouse. I don’t think much about the fact that we’re holding hands, but I am grateful for it a minute later, when I stumble over a rut in the road. My ankle twists, but I don’t fall because Wrath’s there to catch me.

  Sucking in air through my teeth, I bend over and press my fingers against my foot and up my leg. “Fuck.”

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah. I’ll be fine. Just need to shake it off.” I’m proved wrong a second later when I try to step on it and yelp in pain.

  “Come on.” Wrath scoops me into his arms, one arm behind my back, one under my knees.

  “You can’t carry me back the whole way like this.”

  “Babe, we’re not that far. It’ll be a good workout.”

  That makes me chuckle and smack his chest. “You’re crazy.”

  He’s barely out of breath by the time we get inside. People have disappeared to more quiet locations, because the living room is almost empty. Wrath sets me on the couch.

  “Stay here, I’ll go grab an ice pack.”

  “Okay.”

  He pauses briefly as if he’s surprised I didn’t argue with him. How can I argue? My ankle’s throbbing. The thought of hobbling to the kitchen makes me cringe.

  While he’s gone, I slip off my sneakers and socks. The ankle looks a little puffy, but not horrible.

  “Let me see,” Wrath says, startling me.

  He drops next to me, gently pulling my feet into his lap. With a tenderness you wouldn’t expect from such a frightening guy, he inspects both ankles. Finally, he reaches over to the coffee table and grabs an ace bandage. He unwinds it and wraps my foot and ankle with a skill that suggests he’s done this before.

  “I think it’s just a sprain, but if it keeps swelling, I’ll take you down to urgent care in the morning.”

  “Okay,” I whisper.

  He glances up. “Tired?”

  Yeah, that’s it.

  I nod and he places an icepack on my foot. “I’ll hold it here for twenty minutes, then take it off. Why don’t you close your eyes?”

  I sit up a bit farther, and trace my fingers over his cheek. “Thank you for always taking good care of me.”

  For a second he leans into my touch, then snorts and looks away. “I don’t seem to do a very good job.”

  “Yeah, you do.”

  I’m fucking pissed with myself for lettin’ Trin get hurt. It feels good to take care of her though. Even better that she didn’t put up a fuss. After twenty minutes, I set the ice pack to the side. Things look okay. The swelling isn’t getting worse. Her foot hasn’t turned any weird colors. Hopefully she’s better in the morning.

  She sighs and turns over, then sits up. Bleary-eyed, she blinks at me a few times.

  “Come here, babe.” I hold out my arm, and she ducks under it, snuggling up against me.

  After a while, she slides down, until she’s sleeping on my leg. I’m pretty sure she’s drooling on me too, but I’m so happy, I don’t care. Resting my hand on her hip, I try t
o lean back and close my eyes.

  “Wrath?” A whiny voice startles me awake. Trinity’s still tucked against me sound asleep. No, it’s Cherry in front of me.

  “Wanna go upstairs?” she asks with a raised eyebrow and freaky fish-pout.

  “No. I’m good, thanks.”

  She wrinkles her nose and glares at Trinity. “Doesn’t look much good to me. Come on.” She holds out her hand to me.

  “No.” I pick up the now warm icepack and hand it to her. “Go toss this back in the freezer for me.”

  She snatches the pack out of my hand and flounces off in a huff. What-thefuckever.

  My arm tightens against Trinity and I manage to fall back asleep.

  Way too fuckin’ early, Murphy walks in, looking like hell again.

  “What up, brother?” he whispers, with a chin lift at Trinity.

  “Twisted her ankle. Where you been? You look like shit.”

  The corner of his mouth lifts, but he doesn’t give me an answer. “Teller around?”

  “Last I saw him, he was headin’ to the champagne room. Not sure where he ended up, though.”

  His gaze skips to Trinity again. “She need anything?”

  Me. “No, I got it.”

  “All right.” He heads down to the hall. I don’t even want to think about what kind of mess is waiting down there.

  Murphy returns a few seconds later. “Can’t find him. I’ll catch him later.”

  “Okay.”

  No sooner is he out the door, Rock and Hope float downstairs, looking disgustingly in love.

  “Hey, prez,” I greet in a whisper, so he doesn’t wake Trin up.

  Hope does this princess-finger-wave thing at me and I smirk at her.

  Of course within five seconds, they’ve got their tongues down each other’s throats. Couldn’t they have just stayed upstairs to do this shit? A sarcastic sigh slips out of me as I wait for them to finish.

  “You’re up early,” Rock says with a grin. “She okay?” he asks, lifting his chin at Trinity.

  My gaze skips to Hope, who’s taking all of this in. Trinity’s eagerness to be friends with Hope prickles my memory. I feel compelled to let her know we didn’t fuck last night. Especially after Cookie called her a whore in front of everyone.

  “I didn’t get any ass last night, thanks to you,” I grumble. What the fuck is wrong with me? I don’t give a fuck what Cinderella thinks of me.

  But it’s not me I’m worried about, it’s Trinity.

  Rock snorts. “Yeah, it’s all my fault you’re such a prick.”

  I can live with that. I earned it after last night.

  Z pounds down the stairs like a five-year-old. “Morning, fuckers. Oh, hey, Hope. I’m surprised you’re still here.”

  Rock grunts at him and I’m pretty sure he calls him an asshole under his breath.

  Heh.

  “Where’s Peach?” I ask him. I’m hoping she and Inga cleared the building sometime last night and I just missed it.

  “Upstairs,” he answers.

  “You nail her?” I couldn’t give a shit less, but I feel like the question is expected of me.

  Z shrugs before answering. “She’s a shit lay. Mosta them strippers and porn stars are. They act like they’re doing ya a favor and just lay there. Fuckin’ boring.”

  There’s a ninety-nine percent chance Rock wants to kick both our asses for having this conversation in front of Hope.

  Surprisingly she snorts and then giggles. “But you still did her anyway?”

  Z widens his eyes. Guess he wasn’t expecting that from her. “Well, yeah. Of course.” He flashes another smile. “It’s my duty to fuck as many women as possible.”

  I know my brother well enough to know he honestly believes that and that he’s trying to get a rise out of Hope.

  She doesn’t take the bait. Actually, she laughs even harder. “You and Lilly really are kindred spirits.”

  Oh, that’s fantastic. The goofy grin on his face slips. “What?”

  Hope chuckles. “She has a similar theory on dating.” I know it’s just killing him not to pump her for more information.

  Unfortunately, Inga joins us next. “Fuuuck.” She throws herself on the couch next to Trinity, jostling her awake. I’ve never hit a woman in my life, but I could choke Inga out right about now and not suffer an ounce of guilt. The two girls glare at each other for a second.

  “Morning, Trinny,” Rock greets her with a slow grin.

  Dick.

  Trinity glances at everyone and mumbles good morning, before pushing off the couch and hurrying down the hall.

  I still want to smack Inga. Instead, I follow Trinity, catching up to her outside the bathroom.

  Grabbing her elbow to stop her, I ask, “How’s your ankle?”

  The corner of her mouth lifts. “Oh.” She glances down and wriggles her foot. “Much better.” Her hand reaches up, brushing over my cheek. Fuck, I love her hands on me.

  “Thank you for taking such good care of me.”

  “Any time, babe.”

  She squirms a little. “I gotta pee.”

  Chuckling, I swing the door open for her. After it shuts, I return to the living room. Inga’s unfortunately still hanging out, being a useless twat.

  When Trinity returns, she perches on the end of the couch near Rock, and again I wish Inga would get the fuck out of here.

  Hope turns and gives Trinity a sweet smile.

  “So, I get how Dex got his nickname now,” Inga says even though no one asked. Like the disgusting bitch she is, she wiggles her fingers in the air. “Real good with his hands.” She turns toward Trinity.

  Hope makes this grossed out face that’s pretty damn funny.

  Trinity’s gaze skips to me. “That’s what I’ve heard.”

  Shaking my head, I answer. “That’s not how he got his road name.”

  I guess if Inga can’t embarrass Trinity, Hope will do. “So, how did you like our show last night, Hope?” Inga asks in her casual-bitch voice.

  “You’re very talented,” she answers with a straight face. Fuck me, Hope should get an award for that.

  Inga’s not finished. “Rocky took you away from us before we got to the good stuff. You actually move really well, once you loosen up.” The way she says it does not sound like a compliment.

  “Uh, thanks.”

  “If you ever want lessons—I mean, you’re a little on the old side—I can teach you how to work the pole.”

  Rock finally wakes the fuck up. He wraps his arms around Hope and throws a glare at stripper-Barbie. “Knock it off, Inga.”

  “Yeah, she knows how to work Rock’s pole just fine,” Z adds. I quiver with laughter. He’s such an asshole.

  Hope straightens up and gives Inga a haughty look. This should be interesting.

  “Inga, I get that you used to fuck my man, but if I wanted to hang out with a bitch, I’d get a dog. Keep your thinly veiled insults to yourself, you’re not fooling anyone.”

  A bit wordy, but she might just survive being a biker’s old lady after all.

  Once the fireworks are over, I slide off the couch and head to the kitchen. “I’ll get breakfast started.”

  “Hang on, Trinny,” Rock says, stopping me in my tracks. “After Ing and Peach get the fuck out, round up whoever’s awake, and we’ll go down to Hog Heaven.”

  Awesome. I love that place. They have the best friggin’ blueberry pancakes and one of these days I’ll sweet talk Frank into giving me his recipe.

  I trot down to my room, stepping carefully on the foot I rolled last night. Amazingly my ankle feels fine.

  After calling Hog Heaven and being told the best Frank can do is a corner table, because he’s got a huge wedding party coming in, I change and freshen up in my room.

  When I return to the living room, Wrath and Z are bullshitting while they wait for Rock.

  “They’re probably fucking again,” Z gripes.

  “Shut up,” I giggle and smack him on the arm.
br />   Inga and Peach clomp down the stairs in their hooker heels. Their outfits are downright garish in the harsh light of day. Like the gentleman he’s not, Z walks them both out to the parking lot. As soon as they’re gone, he bounds up the stairs. We can hear him banging on Rock’s door from downstairs and I giggle some more.

  Even Wrath smirks.

  When Z returns, he wraps his arms around my waist, lifts me up and spins me around. “Ride with me, mama?”

  Laughing, I smack him until he sets me down.

  “Okay, okay.”

  Wrath lifts an eyebrow and tilts his head. I shrug and follow Z out the door.

  Z’s either starving or has something on his mind, because he takes the absolute fastest route to Hog Heaven. We pull into their unpaved, gravel parking lot ahead of anyone else.

  While we’re waiting for the others, he leads me over to one of the outdoor picnic benches.

  “What’s up, Z?”

  One corner of his mouth lifts. “You know me too well, Trin.”

  “Probably.”

  “You think Hope’s gonna tell her friend about last night?”

  Nothing about Hope seems gossipy, but who knows. “I have no idea. What do you care, anyway? Thought you were both casual?”

  He grinds his teeth but doesn’t answer.

  “Why’d you do it, then?”

  He runs his hand through his hair, actually looking remorseful for once. “I don’t fuckin’ know. Wasn’t worth it, that’s for sure.”

  I laugh and then snort, which makes me laugh even harder.

  “I’m glad you think it’s funny.”

  I hiccup and then sit up straight, holding in any more giggles. “Maybe you should enter some sort of sex addiction program.”

  Now it’s Z’s turn to laugh. “Thanks, you’ve been a huge help this morning.”

  I tip my head at him. “I do what I can.”

  We’re cut off from any more silliness by the sound of Wrath’s bike approaching. Rock’s not too far behind.

  “What’d you rush down here for if you weren’t gonna go get a table, jackass?” Wrath says as he approaches. Guess he’s cranky I rode down with Z.

  After breakfast, Z took off. Rock and I decide to take the girls to Fletcher Park.

  The idea of taking Trinity up there gets me all kinds of excited. We’ve visited the park over the years, but usually with a group of people. I ride in the back way and slow down as I pass the first parking lot. Gotta be twenty or so members of the Devil Demons MC taking up one of the private picnic areas.