Unnatural

  * * * *

  His stream of consciousness hit a dam at the noise of approaching robotic footsteps. They were different from the Homunculi, though this could be due to the muffling effect of Uriah’s potential sepulcher but for the grace of artificial intelligence. A physiological expert he was not, but he supposed that prolonging of treatment of a bone fracture would have its complications beyond extra pain – and he’d had his share of that sensation in the past two hundred minutes, longer than he expected.

  Now he heard the repetition of debris removal, almost like shoveling snow. “Whoever you are, I owe you my life,” he said weakly. “Not that you’d hold that debt against me, android.”

  Moments later, his savior moved a Homunculus out of the way and pulled him out. “You were right, Uriah. Not about me being someone you shouldn’t return favors to, but about, well, Marshall’s death.”

  Uriah half thought he really was hallucinating as he looked up from his face-down position to see Jane’s face. “Jane? The hell are you doing here?”

  “That’s not a very nice way of saying ‘thank you.’ Like I said, Uriah, I realized that Marshall’s gone, and I wanted to apologize for being sort of stupid back at his house.”

  “Well yeah, but how didja know where I was?”

  “You sent an SOS to another robot, right?” Jane tried to help Uriah up, but he fell as soon as his foot hit the ground. “Oh, I’m sorry! Is your leg broken?”

  Gee, you think? “Yeah, yeah, just … let me sit down in a comfortable position for a few minutes.”

  “Okay, but not for too long. We might have a bad robot on our tails.”

  Uriah licked his lips, his patience with the thirst wearing thin. “Do we, now?”

  “If I’d known you’d be so mean, I would’ve left you in there.” Jane looked off to the side for no apparent reason. Maybe criticizing people wasn’t normal for it, as Marshall used to be the alpha and omega of its interactions with humans.

  “Why didn’t you to begin with? I thought Marshall didn’t want you to make friends, dead or alive.”

  “You’re not my friend. But it happened like this. After I found out the truth, I just kind of coped with it by cleaning up Marshall’s house and remembering stuff about him when he was alive. Then I went outside because I had nothing else to do. Marshall had told me about Project Autopia in Goodsprings, sorta like a test android city. That’s what they wanted it to be, anyway.”

  Now the saloon made more sense. Nothing necessary for humans there, but there was every manner of entertainment that could reveal how much robots “learn” from their surroundings.

  “So I drove there, and soon enough your rescue bot arrived. Only he didn’t look like that sort of robot.”

  Uriah raised an eyebrow, not the least of his reasons for which was Jane’s choice of pronoun, but he let it continue.

  “He was a different model from that one there. Armed. When I approached him, he was suspicious of me. You probably knew there was an explosion back there, and this ‘droid thought I did it. He could probably tell I was more human-like and emotional than most bots, so I can understand why.”

  “So lemme guess,” said Uriah as he wiped sweat off his brow. “Droidy drew its gun when you resisted arrest, and you disabled it?”

  “Him, and yeah, that’s basically what happened. He’d told me what he was doing, and like I said, this was an apology. I suppose it’s what Marshall would’ve wanted me to do.”

  “I see.” He looked into Jane’s eyes and smiled, even though the sunshine was right behind it, blinding as ever. “Looks like I can rely on the kindness of robot strangers, huh?”

  “What?”

  “It’s not important. Just, thanks. What were you saying about robots on our tail? I mean, you got that bot, so what’s the problem?”

  “I think I know who bombed Goodsprings.”

  Might not be the brightest bulb in the box, but she was at least observant. “Go on.”

  “On my way from Goodsprings to Sloan, I met a Transhuman, like Marshall, but alive.” She seemed to mean this person was an Unnatural. “He didn’t seem all that human, but there was this – I don’t know – purpose in him that definitely wasn’t a robot’s kind.”

  “Could you describe him? Any hints we can get help.”

  “I dunno, a little shorter than you, very curly black hair. White. He had this red suit that looked kinda, uh, off on him. And he had sort of a high voice.” Minus the suit, that almost … no, that was a rabbit hole of wacky-pills he didn’t want to crawl down. “Anyway, he wasn’t armed. He just walked up to me, smiled, and said, ‘Well hi there! You come from southwest? Aberdeen?’

  “I said yes. He asked me if any other humans were alive there, so I shook my head and said, ‘There was one guy there a few hours ago, but another robot told me he’s in Sloan and he needs help.’

  “So he told me, ‘That’s nice of you. Know his name?’”

  Uriah gulped.

  “I told him you were Uriah, and he said, ‘Well don’t let me keep a compassionate young lady waiting.’”

  “Honestly, if you hadn’t told me this guy was the bomber, I’d say he was a perfect gentleman.” He even pretended he didn’t know you were a robot.

  “I never said he was the bomber.” Again Uriah looked surprised. “He walked in the direction I’d come from, then he said, ‘Wait!’ I turned around and he was pointing his thumb towards Goodsprings. Asked me if I knew about that bomb that went off back there. ‘Yeah,’ I said.

  “He whistled and said, ‘Big one, huh? Might wanna watch out for the bot responsible for it.’ I told him I didn’t think a robot did it, but he said – well, he said a lot, but it was basically along the lines of, ‘Oh yeah, it was an android all right. I saw it running away from the scene of the crime. At the time, I was somewhere in the area you look like you’re heading to, not in any town, just the’ … uh, you know.” Outskirts. How eloquent you are. “I asked him what the robot looked like, and he answered, ‘Mostly white, ‘bout as tall as me, maroon shoulders and feet. Little crippled, I think.’”

  If this informant had the build of the average man, which matched what Jane said, he could be describing a Homunculus. His Homunculus, probably disrupted by the bomb. The fellow was either lying or mistaken. “And you believe him?”

  “I do. After all, like he said, Metrauto has made their opinion on Project Autopia clear – the description fits your bots there. The company’s owner, Yancy Dresden, said it was a waste of money and resources.”

  “I have Homunculi with me, Jane.”

  “Like I said, it fits them. Maybe you did it.”

  “Jane, my leg is broken!”

  It crossed its arms. “They could be different bombs, different bombers.”

  “Because that’s really likely.” Sarcasm didn’t seem to register with her, nodding as she was. He sighed. “Look, I don’t have much time to waste. Do you really think I’d bomb a ghost town so as to almost kill myself painfully? Would a Metrauto android do that? The robot he saw was the one I took with me to Sloan so I could supply the FHS, but for apparent reasons, that’s not gonna happen. This Unnatural you met is our guy.”

  “What makes you think that?”

  “He’s a human without a natural body, so he’d have a load of a lot more motivation to put explosives in places he knew I would be. Unfortunately for him, he saved my life by disabling the Sloan police force.” Uriah pointed a finger out to give his realization extra force. “See, I knew something was sketchy then, and now your story makes sense. He didn’t want to get caught by any other robots nearby, and how easier to draw suspicion away from himself than bringing up a likely witness? Likely if ya don’t know all the facts, that is.”

  Technically, Uriah didn’t know all the facts either, such as how the criminal knew where to bomb him twice in a row. But Jane didn’t need to know that. “Didja catch his name?”


  “Yeah, that was the last thing he said. Isaac Chivingstone or something.”

  He gave a spasm of shock that sent a fresh wave of pain throughout his nervous system. Jane squatted closer to him. “I think we should get you to a hospital.”

  “Couldn’t agree more,” he said, clenching his teeth, “but the nearest one had better be closer to here than Aberdeen is ‘cause we sure as a politician lies are not going back there.”

  “Why not?”

  “Jane, I don’t trust Livingston any more than you would a pair of magnets. That bastard raped my girlfriend.” And I thought I killed him, but secrets are meant to be kept.

  The robot’s face scrunched in empathy as it said, “I’m sorry to hear that. But don’t you need to deliver food to the humane society?”

  “I already told you, it’s too late for that, and you’re not helping our war against Father Time by asking stupid questions!” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he regretted them. “Please, Jane, could you take me to a hospital right now?”

  “Okay,” it said in a small voice. Uriah was grateful for Jane’s display of respect for his dignity, as it went over to the parking lot to give him a ride instead of picking him up like a baby.

  “Um, Jane?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Would it be all right if we went in that Nissan over there? With the young brunette in the passenger’s seat?”

  She nodded without asking who the woman was, and Uriah told the Homunculi to resume their previous traffic-clearing duty.

  The first several minutes of travel were silent. The longer Jane refrained from speaking, the more Uriah wished she had expressed her anger at his insults, rather than taking them in pitiable resignation. Few things struck his guilt nerve more strongly than the sight of a sad woman.

  Yes, she really was a woman. If he were blind and she didn’t acknowledge her artificiality, he would believe that. An idiotic woman, maybe, but there were human idiots he wouldn’t want to see miserable either. He wasn’t sure which notion was more terrifying – that he’d become Isaac Livingston for a short time, or that Livingston was worth his sympathy because of that.

  At last, Jane spoke as Sloan General Hospital came into view, illuminated by comforting lights left on to spite dead environmentalists. “Why aren’t you a Transhuman, Uriah?”

  Sometimes the unexpected questions are the most salvific. “I’d sooner take a lobotomy than join the Unnaturals. Robots are fine, you’re living proof of that, but the sorts of people who put their brains in Libertas just rub me the wrong way.”

  “Marshall was one of them.”

  He may have been a loser, but in Uriah’s mind he was harmless. “There’s an exception to every rule, of course. From what I saw of his house, he didn’t seem like your average Unnatural.”

  “What’s an average, er, ‘Unnatural,’ like?” She was admiring the soon-to-be-drained light show of downtown Sloan, as much as an android could do so. It was no Vegas, but a charming reminder of the immortal fruits of human ambition nonetheless.

  “Okay, ‘Transhuman,’ whatever. They’re vultures. They suck the hopes and dreams out of little guys who just want to make a living without being demoted to sub-android status. If we stick around ‘til the Everett Moon Frontier Institute a couple hours away from here, I can show you an Organic example, to prove I’m not biased. That pimple on society’s ass put Pat and me in poverty.”

  “That’s where Marshall worked.”

  So he could expect to go there, but he didn’t think it likely to be a pleasant experience.