Crazy Mad Life

  Chapter Eighteen

  The snow gradually melted away over a series of cold but sunny days.

  On New Years’ Eve, a very excited Suki arrived at the flat looking seriously stunning in black jeans, padded black jacket and a fluffy pink jumper dotted with sequins. “Hiya!” she exclaimed as she stepped over the threshold. “I’m so excited!”

  Mum emerged from the bathroom in her bath robe, a white towel around her freshly washed hair. “Hi Suki,” she said. “You look fantastic!”

  “Thanks!” Suki smiled. “Are you coming to the party?”

  “I wasn’t invited,” Mum said. “That damned throat virus has taken some recovering from anyway. I’m not sure I’d be up to partying tonight - I’m still weak. I’m quite glad to be staying here to be honest. I think I’ll make myself a warm fruit squash, would you like one?”

  “Yes please!” Suki beamed.

  “I’ll make it Mum,” I offered. “You dry your hair.”

  “That would be lovely,” she said, disappearing into her bedroom.

  Suki sat herself down at the kitchen bar as I filled the kettle. “If I tell you something, will you promise to keep it a secret?” she whispered.

  “Of course,” I said softly, wondering what the hell she was about to say.

  “Cliff wasn’t supposed to tell me this, so I don’t want to get him into trouble. The Two Masks Company are putting on an exciting play in the summer, written by and starring Dudley!”

  I pulled a face. “What’s exciting about it?”

  Suki grinned in sheer delight. “It’s going to be performed outdoors - it’s a fairy play.”

  My eyes widened as I imagined Dudley playing a big fairy in a pair of tights and glittery wings dancing balletically. The thought wasn’t nice. “Oh,” I said. “Sounds … different.”

  “There’s more!” Suki continued. “They want about a hundred townsfolk to be in the play as extras. We could do it!”

  “Wow!” I replied, suddenly understanding her excitement. “I’m up for it!”

  “Fantastic!” Suki beamed. “Shouldn’t be too difficult landing parts in it - me being practically Dudley’s family and working at the theatre and stuff.”

  “I’m sure we will.” I said, pouring cranberry squash into three mugs. “Just hope we can stand the sight of Dudley in tights.”

  “Tights?”

  “If he’s playing a fairy I imagine he’ll wear tights.”

  Suki looked like she was having second thoughts. “Oh God - remember seeing him in those tight cycling shorts?”

  “How could I ever forget?” I said, swallowing down a glob of acid puke.

  “Anyway,” she went on. “Don’t forget you’re not supposed to know this.”

  “My lips are zipped!” I replied.

  Suki giggled before downing most of her drink. Then she received a text and peered at her phone. “It’s from Cliff. They’re here already!” she said excitedly.

  “They’re fifteen minutes early,” I said. “Oh well, I guess we’re ready.”

  She texted Cliff back as I knocked on Mum’s bedroom door. As the hairdryer stopped, I poked my head into her room. “They’ve arrived.” I said. “Your drink’s in the kitchen. Do you want me to bring it in?”

  Mum smiled. “No - I’ll have it in a minute. Have a good time sweetie!”

  “Thanks Mum.”

  I slung my long black quilted coat over my jeans and jumper. Then Suki and I picked up our handbags and made our way to the carpark where Nutty’s black sporty VW Polo was waiting. Nutty sat at the wheel, smiling brightly. We hopped into the back seat with Cliff.

  Dudley had plonked himself in the front passenger seat. He turned around and grinned, showing his stumpy nicotine stained teeth. “Ready for the party girls?” he asked.

  “I can’t wait!” Suki beamed.

  I just smiled politely. Of course we were ready for the bloody party.

  The car sped off and was soon zooming along the motorway. I was a bundle of nerves, as usual. I sat there just hoping the journey wouldn’t take too long. As we whizzed along, Nutty blared out rap music as Dudley, Cliff and Suki moved their arms around like rappers and spat some of the bars. I was surprised Dudley didn’t make Nutty turn the tunes off so we could hear Dudley’s own embarrassing songs. Eventually, we left the motorway, drove through a scruffy, run-down town and then through a peculiar little village of strange old cottages which looked like something out of a fairy tale. Then Nutty’s satnav told him to turn right into a wooded area.

  “Are you sure this is right?” Suki said.

  “Yeah,” Dudley replied. “This is Bernard’s place!”

  “Oh,” Suki said. “OK.”

  Suki and I exchanged frightened glances as the car crawled through the horribly dark twisting forest path. Suddenly, as we took another twist, the headlights lit up a freaky grinning statue. Suki and I screamed. The men all howled with laughter.

  We then stared out the window, open mouthed, as we approached the spookiest looking gothic mansion we had ever seen, it’s turrets outlined against a dark, eerie sky. I swallowed down a lump in my throat as Nutty parked his car just right of the huge black front door. My legs felt like jelly as I emerged from the car. Then Dudley hauled himself out of the front seat and I got the shock of my life - he was wearing a green tartan kilt. My first thought was I just hoped he was wearing something underneath it. I think he caught the disgust on my face. We moved toward the large, black, gothic door, Dudley put his pudgy hand upon the brass gargoyle knocker and rapped loudly.

  After a short wait, the door was slowly opened by Bernard - a very thin and creepy-looking, pale, old, bald man. “Mr Mountain and friends!” he said in a deep, unsettling voice. “How delightful to see you all. Step right this way!”

  I froze. I couldn’t walk. The others entered the mansion, realised I wasn’t there and turned back to look. Nutty just about managed to help me up the step. The door led straight into a high-ceilinged room which was dimly lit by torchlight. It had wood-panelled walls and a staircase which led up into darkness. A couple of dozen people were enjoying glasses of wine. As soon as we entered the room, they all stopped chatting and stared at us. They looked really creepy - like a bunch of old witches. It didn’t look like this was going to be the young swinging party I’d imagined. I felt like I’d walked into a scene from some old horror movie. I just hoped we weren’t about to be sacrificed on some altar hidden in the bowels of the mansion.

  Bernard poured us a glass of red wine each and brought them over on a tray. I felt a bit awkward, as I wasn’t able to drink alcohol for fear migraine, but I said nothing and politely took the glass.

  Bernard eyed Suki and me. “I haven’t had the pleasure,” he said, reaching out his hand to Suki.

  “Suki,” said Suki, beaming as usual.

  Then he shook my hand. “Yazmin,” I said in a trembling voice. I couldn’t smile as my face had frozen.

  “Very pretty girls,” he said, looking at us creepily. “Very pretty girls indeed.”

  I wanted to run.

  “Suki is Cliff’s new lady - and Yazmin’s Nutty’s gal,” Dudley piped up.

  “Both boys have done very well,” Bernard said. “Very well indeed.”

  A chill passed through my spine as I wondered if we’d been lured here as sacrifices. Perhaps Nutty and Cliff were part of the coven, or perhaps I’d just watched too many horror movies in my time. Then Bernard began talking to Nutty and Dudley about Pete Bohemian - some rock star who’d been famous for a short time before I was born. He’d died the previous week of unknown causes at the age of fifty-seven. Bernard had produced all his hits. This conversation did nothing to ease my nerves.

  I threw Suki a worried glance. “Would you like my wine?” I asked.

  “Thanks!” she answered, guzzling down the remains of her own glass and swapping it with mine. “What are you going to drink?”

  “I’ve got a couple of juices in my bag,” I said unzipping it
with trembling hands. I needed a drink as my mouth had gone all dry. I pulled out a bottle of pressed apple juice and gulped most of it down.

  Suki gestured toward a chaise longue by a window and we sat down. She sat there and drank my wine. Then Bernard noticed us both holding empty glasses and brought a bottle over. Suki gladly let him pour her yet another glass, I put my hand over the top of mine and politely declined. Bernard went back to continue his conversation with Nutty, Cliff and Dudley.

  “You should have let him pour you another glass,” Suki said merrily. “I’d have had it.”

  “I think you’ve had enough - we need to look after each other. I don’t like the feel of this place.”

  “The people all seem very nice.”

  “Is that what you really think?”

  Suki looked at me, concerned. “What’s wrong?”

  “They’re all creepy. Especially Bernard.”

  “They’re just old,” Suki reassured me. “The place has spooked you out - that’s all.”

  “Don’t you think they look weird?”

  “No, you nutter - they look very glamorous to me. Hope I look as cool when I reach their age.” She looked towards the buffet table. “I’m hungry - let’s see what’s there.”

  “I’m not,” I said, my stomach in knots. “I’ll come with you though.”

  Nutty, Cliff and Dudley were now greeting a grinning crowd of glamorous people who’d just arrived. It looked like they’d travelled there by mini bus as there were at least a couple of dozen of them.

  Suki picked up a golden paper plate and browsed the table. She scooped up two big handfuls of nuts and raisins and added a couple of vol-au-vents. “Sure you don’t want anything whilst there’s plenty of food?” she asked. “May as well have something.”

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” I agreed forcing down a cucumber sandwich and nibbling half a dozen peanuts.

  Then Bernard appeared with another tray of drinks and Suki downed yet another glass of wine and was soon very drunk.

  Nutty and Cliff were now dancing like a pair of clowns. Suki grabbed my arm. “Let’s explore this place!” she said, her dark eyes twinkling. “It looks really exciting!”

  I sneered. “You’re drunk!”

  “So what? Let’s explore!”

  “You can’t go poking around the rooms without Bernard’s permission!”

  Suki looked towards the main door and my eyes followed. Bernard had fallen asleep in a velvet chair, apparently sozzled.

  I sighed. “Well, we’ll have to tell the others where we’re going.”

  “Go ahead,” Suki agreed. “But don’t take too long - I’m dying to see this place.”

  I ambled over to Nutty. “I hope this is OK - Suki wants to take a look around the mansion. Do you think Bernard would mind?”

  “I doubt it in his state,” Nutty laughed. “Go ahead. Have fun!”

  “See you in a bit,” I said, heading back to Suki, who was half way up the stairs looking very excited and very drunk. I followed her. We crept up the stairs before sneaking around the first floor. Up and down dark corridors, past wooden doors and leaded windows which all looked the same. “Can we go back down now?” I said. “This is just a bit too spooky for my liking.”

  “Don’t be a prude!” Suki squealed, grabbing my arm tightly. “There’s more to this place - Cliff told me! Besides, I thought you liked horror movies.”

  “I do. I think I’ve watched too many of them - that’s what’s making this all the more scary.”

  We climbed the stairs to a long, dark corridor. A couple of doors were open and led into old fashioned bedrooms with wood panelled walls and four poster beds lit only by moonlight. Then we climbed another set of stairs to the second floor. The floor was lined with paintings of people from the Victorian era. We walked along the dimly lit corridor staring at them. There was something I didn’t like about the corridor or about the paintings. It was all seriously creepy. Every single painting had eyes which seemed to follow you. A shiver crept down my spine.

  “I think we’ve seen enough,” I said. I was terrified.

  We looked down out of a leaded window at the lamplit courtyard to see Nutty and Dudley sitting on a bench laughing and chatting together. Dudley was smoking a cigarette. Suki banged on the window and waved wildly, but they didn’t seem to hear. It was like being in the middle of some horrid, unsettling dream.

  “Just one more floor to go,” Suki said.

  “I don’t think we should go up there.” I shuddered. “Let’s get back to the party.”

  “Don’t be a coward!” Suki protested.

  “Ok then,” I agreed, although my gut feeling was telling me not to proceed.

  We turned the corridor. This part of the house was unlit so I turned on my phone torch and searched for a light switch, but couldn’t find one. Then the torch lit up another set of stairs. To our horror, they led nowhere - just stopped at the ceiling.

  “Now that’s just weird!” I said weakly.

  “Oh my God!” Suki squealed. “I saw a documentary once about that house in America - The Winchester Mystery House. Have you heard of the place?”

  “Don’t think so,” I answered. “Did it have stairs like that?”

  “Yes!” Suki exclaimed. “And doors which opened out into thin air and blank walls, and strange rooms. It was built by a lady who used a Ouija board to consult spirits and they told her to build it that way. She had it built on and built on for years until the day she died. Perhaps something similar happened here!”

  Then everything went black. My phone had died.

  “Shit!” I said. “Quick! Get your phone.”

  “I left my phone downstairs,” Suki replied, sounding very scared.

  We felt our way around the walls, then we came across a glass door, behind which was a room, all dimly glowing with lilac lights. We opened the door, crept through it and found ourselves in a long, narrow, purple-painted room with mirrors all along one side.

  As we walked along and looked into each mirror, our images were distorted, just like something from a funfair. We gasped as we watched ourselves change from skinny, to fat, to long legged, to big headed, to long necked to alien faced. But we didn’t laugh. The whole experience was just too weird. Suki and I walked along looking in mirror after mirror, each one distorting our reflections in increasingly weird ways. Then we looked into the final mirror and screamed.

  “It’s the thirteenth mirror,” Suki cried. “I counted them!”

  Chapter Nineteen