Carnelian

  “You’re the devil in disguise,” he complained when he finally looked under the blankets.

  I gave a sleepy giggle, before wiggling over to lie on his chest. I took a deep breath in and smelled the freshness of the shower on him. He smelled a bit like soap, but more like clean linen. I nestled closer to him and heard his heart beat beneath my head. He was warm and his strong arms encircled me to keep me close as I finally dozed off enough to the world.

  “Marcella, I have no idea why I found you and what you mean to creating a future in my homeland, but I don’t regret it. I have no regrets of my time with you. I wish it could last forever.” Seth’s voice was fuzzy, but still there. I didn’t know if I was dreaming it or not by then, and was too caught in sleep to wake up and ask him. It sounded like he was saying goodbye, but I was with him. He couldn’t just leave when I was there. I would notice that much. I snuggled closer into his warm arms. I’d have to ask Seth about the goddess tomorrow; how I could plead to her to let me keep Seth. And without thinking any further, I was off to sleep.

  A thump and the door unlocking brought me out of my sleep. I was disorientated as I opened my eyes. I woke up in my own bed in the dorms. Last I remembered I was in Seth’s bed with him. I couldn’t remember actually falling asleep, but I had a faint memory of Seth being beside me. One thing was certain then; I was not in my own room, that I was sure of that. I looked around the room. I was certainly in my dorm room now. A hazy memory told me Sim was gone for the weekend.

  “Hey sleepy,” Sim said as I sat up. “Had a good night?”

  “Yeah, just the norm; I spent it with Seth after the party,” I replied and sat up. It was still disorientating. I was sure that I had been with Seth last night as I went to sleep. What did I do yesterday to end up in my own bed? How could I be missing a day?

  “Seth?” Sim asked, wiggling her eyebrows. “Have I met him?” she asked. “And is he cute?” I rolled my eyes at her. Was Seth cute? That was the understatement of the century. Like she didn’t know. She was always eyeing him over behind his back.

  “You know Seth, my boyfriend,” I answered, trying not to stare at her. Was she playing a joke on me? Sim wasn’t really a morning person. I doubted she’d be playing jokes so early. This morning was just getting more and more strange. Something was completely off.

  “You have a boyfriend?” Sim replied excitedly. She set her bags down and started to put things away. “See what happens when I go home overnight. You get a boyfriend, and I’m not here to meet and assess him. I told my mother I didn’t need to go back his weekend, but she insisted. I’m not leaving you alone for another weekend. You might just run off and get married next. Well, I need to meet him ASAP and make sure he’s okay for you.”

  I wasn’t sure how to reply. She didn’t seem to be joking at all. “Sim, you’ve met him. You don’t remember Seth Sangre, football quarterback?” I asked. This morning was getting stranger by the second. And why would she have gone home? The CRUSH party was last night. This wasn’t adding up, and I was rapidly getting concerned.

  “Someone new for the football team, too? Man, I miss so much when I’m gone for just a night. I’m not going back the next time my mom calls,” Sim complained. I looked for the joke coming, but she just continued to put her things away.

  “Sim, are you saying you don’t remember Seth Sangre at all?” I asked suspiciously. Sim was good at jokes, but she was not good at lying to your face. I watched her carefully.

  “No, sorry, I don’t,” Sim replied, her eyes pleading for me to forgive her. “There been many guys that hit on you; I can’t really keep them straight.” Sim wasn’t lying. I searched back in my mind. Everything was a bit hazy. I could remember being hit on, but most prominently I could remember Seth and the smell of clean linen that went with him. I could remember the feel of his dark, almost black hair as I ran my fingers through it, and I could feel his rock hard arms beneath me as we made out last night. Those memories were more in the front over the haze of additional memories.

  Why did I have two sets of memories for the same day? Was something wrong? I took a deep breath as I felt myself drifting into panic mode. Something had to be wrong. Could they be gone? My pulse was racing, breathing was getting more difficult and tears were on the brink of turning over the edges of my eyes.

  “Do you remember Ty?” I asked. Did she remember any of the three guys?

  “Is that another one of those guys that asked you out? I really am sorry I can’t keep them straight. Maybe we should make them wear name tags, that would help,” Sim joked, but stopped when she saw my face. She didn’t remember him. My worst fear was coming true. They seemed to just be gone from her memory. “Mari, is everything okay?” she asked, dropping her stuff and coming to sit beside me.

  I slowed my breathing to as normal as possible before I had a breakdown in front of her and nodded. If I told her the truth, I’m sure they would be locking me up. I met this cute guy from the past and fell in love with him, but now he’s gone back to his own time. He isn’t imaginary, but no you can’t meet him. Yep, everything’s fine here except for that. “Yeah, just a long night,” I lied, hoping it would be good enough for her.

  “Did this Seth guy do something to you?” she asked, looking me over for some sign of physical trauma.

  “No, no,” I shook my head. The only thing Seth did last night was make me feel safe and loved every moment I spent with him. “I think my thoughts are still all jumbled in my dream.”

  “Okay,” Sim replied, not standing yet. “If a guy ever does something you don’t want him to, you know you can tell me. You’re my best friend now.” She hugged me before tentatively standing. I nodded and that seemed to reassure her more.

  I joined her by the side-by-side closets and pulled out some clothes. “I think I need to go for a run,” I said to her. I hurriedly threw on some clothes and pulled back my mess of hair. Sim eyed me over one more time after I got dressed.

  “Are you sure you’re fine?” she asked.

  “Yes,” I replied. “Some fresh air should help clear my head from that dream. I guess it was too real feeling.” Sim nodded and went back to putting things away. I hated to lie to her, but I had to. I made it out of the dorms before the tears started. This was the day I was dreading. The day Seth disappeared.

  It wasn’t intentional, but I ran over to their house. Seth couldn’t be gone. It seemed impossible, but also probable at the same time. Sim’s reaction and my hazy memory as to how I got home were beginning to make sense if I wanted to admit the truth. I knew he was gone deep down, but I couldn’t accept that. Seth wouldn’t leave me. We were meant to be together. We still didn’t even know why they came to find me in the first place. I stopped in their driveway. There was a car there, but it wasn’t theirs. Could Seth, Ty, and Dee really be gone? I walked up to the house. A man I didn’t know was standing in the doorway.

  “You must be the girl Seth told me about,” the older man said. “Curiously, Seth told me you’d come looking for him. That would have to be a first for me.” I nodded as the tears came full force now. “Come in out of the cold, child.” The man opened the door. I had no clue who he was and I didn’t look closely. He knew Seth and that was all I needed to hear.

  The man led me into the living room. While it appeared the same as before, same color, same furniture, even arranged the same, I noticed small differences. The guy’s shoes that were always stacked in the corner of the room were gone. Dee’s game station wasn’t attached to the TV. Ty’s books weren’t stacked on the coffee table. The blankets I had cuddled in the night before with Seth weren’t thrown on the floor by the door.

  “Are they really gone?” I asked, sinking into the familiar couch with the unfamiliar man watching me.

  “Yes, their time was up. They were called back,” the man replied. He sat down with a stiffness in his back that fit in with his impeccably-styled, greying hair.

  “And just like that, they’re gone, and no one remembers them?” I wi
ped the tears that kept coming. The man reached over and handed me a handkerchief to wipe my eyes.

  “That’s how it works. They’re not from our time, therefore they are easily forgotten. That way the pain of their loss is less,” the man replied from the chair across from me.

  “Then why do I remember them? Why do I get to feel all this pain?” I desperately asked. I didn’t honestly want to forget Seth, but I didn’t want to face reality without him.

  “Because you’re connected to time, like my family,” the man answered. Though I had no clue as to who the man was, he knew me.

  “You’re like me?” I asked, with hope that he could help me get Seth back. I was sure he could teach me how.

  “No,” the man answered, crushing my hope with him. “I guess Seth never got around to telling you who I am.” I shook my head. I didn’t even know what this man’s name was. “I am the gatekeeper. I facilitate those that travel between times. I maintain three separate lives in three different times where I help those that arrive and set them on their goal. At a set time each day, I go to another time and proceed on with my life. Seti, Nadim, and Taraq came through time to this time period, and I helped set them up on their path. It was easiest to just call them my adopted children as their time here would be longer than most. They weren’t even legally adults in this time when they arrived.”

  “You’re Mr. Sangre?” I asked. The button-down shirt and jeans guy sitting before me was the multi-millionaire who owned several thriving businesses? He didn’t even remotely seem like a businessman. He nodded.

  “And you are Mari, the one Seth was meant to find. The goddess said it would take them time to find you, but I didn’t know they had. None of the boys mentioned it until I got the call last night,” Mr. Sangre assessed.

  “Because Seth didn’t want to go back. He wouldn’t let them tell you,” I answered. Seth had already told me he forbid Dee and Ty to tell Mr. Sangre. “But it didn’t matter, did it?”

  “No, I’m not the one that sends people back. That’s the choice of the goddess.” Mr. Sangre watched me take in the news.

  “The goddess already knew. She’s known for over a month. Why did she send him back now?” I asked. Mr. Sangre looked surprised. Even the goddess didn’t mention it to him. He obviously hadn’t been informed of what people knew and was used to knowing everything.

  “Only she knows. All I know was last night she told Seth he had to return to his time,” Mr. Sangre composed himself from his shock from lack of knowledge.

  “Seth knew?” I asked.

  “She was at some party and told everyone that their time was done. Seth was told to finish up any loose ends, and they would be gone.” I remember Dee’s friendly, excited mood from the party. Seth must have known by then. Then I remembered the sparkling costume girl that talked to Seth. I didn’t see the face, but now I knew it wasn’t Melissa; it was the goddess.

  “She said their mission was complete. I don’t know why the boys were sent here and seldom do I know the details, but they were finished. I assumed it meant they found you. Last night Seth called me to tell me your name was Mari, and that he left a letter. He was afraid it would disappear with everything else. I came here personally to get it for him. In my hands things don’t disappear, but everything else does.” Mr. Sangre held out an envelope. Seth’s fine printing was on the cover.

  Mr. Sangre handed me the envelope. I took it tentatively.

  “They just disappear?” I asked in shock more than anything. Nothing was left of them. Not even a photograph.

  “Yes, anything more would upset time too much. People mainly travel between times to learn something. The majority travel a few decades back or forward in time at the most, and many travel to find some long lost relative. Each person has a mission to accomplish and when it’s finished, they head home. I am sorry,” Mr. Sangre added. “You can go upstairs to his room to read the letter if you’d like privacy.”

  I looked down to my hands and nodded. I doubted that this was something I wanted to read in front of someone I just met. I stood and climbed upstairs. We had just been here the night before, but now the house didn’t look lived in. I walked through my fog, my feet taking me on autopilot to his room, and I stood outside the door waiting. I tried my best to picture Seth in the room. I wanted this all to be a lie. I hoped if I thought hard enough, I’d find him standing there when I opened the door. I wanted him back.

  Slowly, I pushed open the door and my heart sunk. The light blue bedcover was gone. Everything was as white and sterile as the guest room. Seth was completely erased. He had gone home without me.

  Chapter 12

  Love Across Time

  Tears began to flow again as I numbly stumbled to the bed in Seth’s room, letter in hand. He was gone. He was really gone. I sat down without actually feeling the bed beneath me. It felt like the world was crashing down around me. I was prepared for him to go, but I kept thinking that for some reason he was sent to me. I had hoped that he would stay with me forever. I had hoped he would take me back with him. We were meant to be together.

  I opened the crisp sheet and unfolded the letter at the crease. His tight, clear penmanship glared back at me from the page. This was the only proof that I had that he even existed.

  Mari,

  I hope someday you will be able to forgive me for leaving. At the party last night the goddess came to us to take us home. I asked her to let me have one more night with you, and she agreed. I tried several times to tell you last night, but I couldn’t find it in myself to do so. I couldn’t even find enough courage to tell you goodbye, and I hope you will forgive me for that also. I guess we will never know why I was sent to find you.

  I never knew what it meant to be in love until I found you. I do not regret being able to meet you, and I hope you do not regret it either, no matter the pain we feel now. I will do everything I can to return to you. I asked the goddess if I will ever see you again, and she told me it would take a change in the future. Please find your dreams and live them for the both of us, and I will return to you as soon as I am able. One kiss from you is enough to last me a lifetime. I will never stop trying to find you, Mari. Please stay safe and be happy. Even though centuries separate us, I love you now and forever. –Seti

  I read the words a second time and then a third. The tears just didn’t stop coming. Seth was gone. The reality I never wanted to be was here, and all I could do was cry. It didn’t help anything, but I couldn’t stop. I didn’t know when or how, but eventually I curled up into a ball on Seth’s bed and fell asleep from the exhaustion. In my dreams even, I could feel Seth. I couldn’t just let him be gone. When I finally woke, it was late afternoon. Mr. Sangre was standing in the doorway.

  “He’s not coming back, is he?” I asked as reality sunk in.

  “Not that I’ve been told about,” Mr. Sangre replied. “Though the future always changes.”

  “And I’m to just move on with life like he never existed.” I tucked the note back into the envelope.

  “No, that’s never the case. The man Seti did exist over three thousand years ago. He saved his people. He married. He had children, and he lived out his life. He was real. He was a great man. Don’t ever think someone didn’t exist if you can’t see them here now,” Mr. Sangre replied. I nodded. It was actually a bit horrifying to think of Seth grown and with a family of his own, but at the same time, to know he lived out his life made me feel a bit more reassured that he didn’t just go back to his war and die.

  “And what of me?” I asked. “Can’t I go back in time as much as he went forward?” I was just saying whatever thoughts were coming, but the statement I made hit me. Couldn’t I go back to him? I know Seth didn’t want me to try to live in his world, but at the same time, he survived mine. It didn’t matter what his father wanted. I could go back and be with him for however long was possible. Maybe together we could find a way to bring him back to the future. Maybe we could run away from his life and start over.

&nbs
p; Mr. Sangre watched me as I thought, but he did not reply.

  “I can, can’t I?” I asked, sitting up straighter at his lack of reply.

  “It’s possible,” he started slowly. “But I do not advise it.”

  Possible. The word rung in my ears. I barely even heard the second part of what he said. It was possible to go back and be with Seth. I didn’t have to move on with my life without him. I didn’t have to wait for him to make it back to me. I could be with him.

  “Why not?” I finally asked. Mr. Sangre was watching me.

  “The goddess has told me about you. I’d suggest you do as Seth asked and move on with your life here,” Mr. Sangre replied. “If you were meant to be together, he will find his way to you.”

  “What if I don’t want to move on with life if Seth isn’t in it?” I couldn’t help but let a bit of a defiant streak come out in me.

  Mr. Sangre sighed. “Then you find yourself a piece of the goddess and pray that she will understand. But think carefully about it. Maybe there was someone here you were meant to be with all along, and Seth threw off the course of your life. Have you considered your destiny could be to be with someone else?” It wasn’t possible. No one could make me feel like Seth did.

  “I don’t think I could ever love someone the way I love Seth. What is a piece of the goddess?” I asked. I needed to know. I needed to make a plan. I couldn’t accept life would just go on without him.

  “This is your fault. You know how upset he will be with me,” Mr. Sangre mumbled into the air, just like Seth had when he had talked to the goddess. Mr. Sangre mopped his forehead and returned to looking at me.

  “The goddess stone is what the ancients called it, but now the type of stone is called chalcedony. It is crystalline quartz that comes in practically every color you can imagine. Some pieces very long ago were blessed by the goddess and made to be a way to contact her. Seti, Nadim, and Taraq each found a piece of chalcedony that allowed them to travel here.” Mr. Sangre continued to stand in the doorway.