L'homme qui rit. English

  CHAPTER XI.

  BARKILPHEDRO IN AMBUSCADE.

  To find the vulnerable spot in Josiana, and to strike her there, was,for all the causes we have just mentioned, the imperturbabledetermination of Barkilphedro. The wish is sufficient; the power isrequired. How was he to set about it? There was the question.

  Vulgar vagabonds set the scene of any wickedness they intend to commitwith care. They do not feel themselves strong enough to seize theopportunity as it passes, to take possession of it by fair means orfoul, and to constrain it to serve them. Deep scoundrels disdainpreliminary combinations. They start from their villainies alone, merelyarming themselves all round, prepared to avail themselves of variouschances which may occur, and then, like Barkilphedro, await theopportunity. They know that a ready-made scheme runs the risk of fittingill into the event which may present itself. It is not thus that a manmakes himself master of possibilities and guides them as one pleases.You can come to no previous arrangement with destiny. To-morrow will notobey you. There is a certain want of discipline in chance.

  Therefore they watch for it, and summon it suddenly, authoritatively, onthe spot. No plan, no sketch, no rough model; no ready-made shoeill-fitting the unexpected. They plunge headlong into the dark. To turnto immediate and rapid profit any circumstance that can aid him is thequality which distinguishes the able scoundrel, and elevates the villaininto the demon. To strike suddenly at fortune, _that_ is true genius.

  The true scoundrel strikes you from a sling with the first stone he canpick up. Clever malefactors count on the unexpected, that senselessaccomplice of so many crimes. They grasp the incident and leap on it;there is no better _Ars Poetica_ for this species of talent. Meanwhilebe sure with whom you have to deal. Survey the ground.

  With Barkilphedro the ground was Queen Anne. Barkilphedro approached thequeen, and so close that sometimes he fancied he heard the monologues ofher Majesty. Sometimes he was present unheeded at conversations betweenthe sisters. Neither did they forbid his sliding in a word. He profitedby this to lessen himself--a way of inspiring confidence. Thus one dayin the garden at Hampton Court, being behind the duchess, who was behindthe queen, he heard Anne, following the fashion, awkwardly enunciatingsentiments.

  "Animals are happy," said the queen. "They run no risk of going tohell."

  "They are there already," replied Josiana.

  This answer, which bluntly substituted philosophy for religion,displeased the queen. If, perchance, there was depth in the observation,Anne felt shocked.

  "My dear," said she to Josiana, "we talk of hell like a couple offools. Ask Barkilphedro all about it. He ought to know such things."

  "As a devil?" said Josiana.

  "As a beast," replied Barkilphedro, with a bow.

  "Madam," said the queen to Josiana, "he is cleverer than we."

  For a man like Barkilphedro to approach the queen was to obtain a holdon her. He could say, "I hold her." Now, he wanted a means of takingadvantage of his power for his own benefit. He had his foothold in thecourt. To be settled there was a fine thing. No chance could now escapehim. More than once he had made the queen smile maliciously. This washaving a licence to shoot. But was there any preserved game? Did thislicence to shoot permit him to break the wing or the leg of one like thesister of her Majesty? The first point to make clear was, did the queenlove her sister? One false step would lose all. Barkilphedro watched.

  Before he plays the player looks at the cards. What trumps has he?Barkilphedro began by examining the age of the two women. Josiana,twenty-three; Anne, forty-one. So far so good. He held trumps. Themoment that a woman ceases to count by springs, and begins to count bywinters, she becomes cross. A dull rancour possesses her against thetime of which she carries the proofs. Fresh-blown beauties, perfumes forothers, are to such a one but thorns. Of the roses she feels but theprick. It seems as if all the freshness is stolen from her, and thatbeauty decreases in her because it increases in others.

  To profit by this secret ill-humour, to dive into the wrinkle on theface of this woman of forty, who was a queen, seemed a good game forBarkilphedro.

  Envy excels in exciting jealousy, as a rat draws the crocodile from itshole.

  Barkilphedro fixed his wise gaze on Anne. He saw into the queen as onesees into a stagnant pool. The marsh has its transparency. In dirtywater we see vices, in muddy water we see stupidity; Anne was muddywater.

  Embryos of sentiments and larvae of ideas moved in her thick brain. Theywere not distinct; they had scarcely any outline. But they wererealities, however shapeless. The queen thought this; the queen desiredthat. To decide what was the difficulty. The confused transformationswhich work in stagnant water are difficult to study. The queen,habitually obscure, sometimes made sudden and stupid revelations. It wason these that it was necessary to seize. He must take advantage of themon the moment. How did the queen feel towards the Duchess Josiana? Didshe wish her good or evil?

  Here was the problem. Barkilphedro set himself to solve it. This problemsolved, he might go further.

  Divers chances served Barkilphedro--his tenacity at the watch above all.

  Anne was, on her husband's side, slightly related to the new Queen ofPrussia, wife of the king with the hundred chamberlains. She had herportrait painted on enamel, after the process of Turquet of Mayerne.This Queen of Prussia had also a younger illegitimate sister, theBaroness Drika.

  One day, in the presence of Barkilphedro, Anne asked the Russianambassador some question about this Drika.

  "They say she is rich?"

  "Very rich."

  "She has palaces?"

  "More magnificent than those of her sister, the queen."

  "Whom will she marry?"

  "A great lord, the Count Gormo."

  "Pretty?"

  "Charming."

  "Is she young?"

  "Very young."

  "As beautiful as the queen?"

  The ambassador lowered his voice, and replied,--

  "More beautiful."

  "That is insolent," murmured Barkilphedro.

  The queen was silent; then she exclaimed,--

  "Those bastards!"

  Barkilphedro noticed the plural.

  Another time, when the queen was leaving the chapel, Barkilphedro keptpretty close to her Majesty, behind the two grooms of the almonry. LordDavid Dirry-Moir, crossing the ranks of women, made a sensation by hishandsome appearance. As he passed there was an explosion of feminineexclamations.

  "How elegant! How gallant! What a noble air! How handsome!"

  "How disagreeable!" grumbled the queen.

  Barkilphedro overheard this; it decided him.

  He could hurt the duchess without displeasing the queen. The firstproblem was solved; but now the second presented itself.

  What could he do to harm the duchess? What means did his wretchedappointment offer to attain so difficult an object?

  Evidently none.