Rose

  “Do you really think so?” Emerald asks.

  I nod, no question in my mind anymore. The stink of hatred is all over this mess.

  The fire fighters arrive, and soon the place is a hive of activity. Several men are hosing the place down using the reservoir on a water truck, but they’re not going to get it under control until the entire building is destroyed. The barn is old and the wood is as dry as a bone. It was the perfect place to start a bonfire, actually. I look behind me at the kennels and the stressed-out animals inside them. I’m relieved and thankful that we got them out, but what the heck am I going to do with them now?

  “We need to get the animals out of the cold,” I say.

  “Put them in my studio,” Em says. “I’ll go start moving stuff out of the way right now.” She leans in and kisses me on the cheek and then she’s gone. She and Sam leave in a hurry.

  Red comes over and pulls me into a hug, kissing me on the head. “We can fix this. Don’t you worry.”

  “It’s not fixable.” He’s talking about the building, but it was just a place. A place you can fix. A broken dream you can’t.

  He pulls away and looks at me. “Everything’s fixable. All you need is determination and money.”

  “Determination I have. Money I don’t.”

  He gives me a scolding look. “You’ve got all the money you need. Don’t be silly.”

  I look over at Greg. He’s busy talking to somebody from the fire department. I can’t comment on this money issue until I talk to him again. He has something to tell me, and I’m dying to know what it is.

  Red is distracted by one of the band members calling him over, so he leaves me. Amber comes into my view and I turn to face her.

  “What’s going on?” she asks.

  I shake my head. “I don’t want to get into it right now.”

  Her voice softens. “What can I do to help?”

  “You can help me transport the animals for now. If I need anything else later, I’ll let you know.”

  She leans in and kisses me on the cheek. “You got it. I’m going to start loading them into the truck.” Somebody brought the truck down, and Amber starts recruiting people to help her in her mission. I stand there as tears stream down my face; seeing my family loading my patients into the back of the pickup touches me so deeply. They don’t question anything. They don’t complain. They do what needs to be done, and they do it with heart. I am the luckiest girl in the world, and I don’t say it with reservation anymore. I don’t say, But I never had a father growing up. Everything that has happened to me has happened for a reason . . . a good reason. I can’t regret how my life turned out without regretting what I have today . . . and I’m nothing but absolutely grateful.

  Greg comes over and stands next to me. “What a tragedy,” he says softly.

  “That’s one way to describe it.”

  “We’re going to find out who did this, and I’m going to use every contact I have to make sure they’re prosecuted for it.”

  “Okay.” I don’t care about the fire right now, and I don’t care about the evil person who set it either; there will be plenty of time for me to fret over that stuff. The animals are okay and they’re going to be fine, so they don’t worry me either. Right now, all I want to know is what Greg was going to tell me before the emergency pulled us out of my bedroom. I won’t be able to sleep until I hear the words come out of his mouth.

  He turns and looks at me, as if he’s read my mind, and I stare back at him.

  “We have a lot to talk about,” he says.

  I nod. “Yes, we do.”

  “Can it wait?”

  I shake my head. “Not really.”

  He looks off into the distance and reaches behind his head to scratch himself on the neck. “Fine. If you need to know now, you need to know now. Might as well get it over with.” He takes a deep breath and huffs it out, his explanation coming from the man I know as Lawyer-Greg.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

  I know you’re thinking about taking the settlement.” He looks over his shoulder for a second at Red before shifting his attention back to me. “And I know after this fire it’s going to be more tempting than ever to do that, but you can’t.”

  I fold my arms over my chest to keep the cold at bay. “So you said. Now you’re supposed to tell me why.”

  “Because . . . ,” he sighs heavily and looks at the ground, “you’re not a daughter of anybody in the band.”

  It takes a few seconds for his words to sink in. “What?”

  He looks up at me, his gaze cold and hard. “That settlement money has been put aside into an irrevocable trust for the daughters of the members of Red Hot. You, however, are not a daughter of any of the current members of Red Hot, and therefore you are not legally entitled to the funds in that trust. Not the way it was written. Their accountants advised them to set it up this way for tax purposes, and there’s nothing I can do about that. It’s impossible to change what’s already been done.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I have good reason to believe that your father is not in the band.”

  “How could you possibly know that?”

  “My knowledge is based on information that I have access to.”

  “I’d really like to know what that information is, and if you’re not willing to share it, then I have to wonder why. And I also will have a very hard time believing you unless I see proof.” If he tells me he somehow took a DNA sample from me and had it analyzed, I’m not only going to sue him, I’m going to sue the entire band. My earlier warm feelings toward them are starting to cool really quickly.

  “I’m not at liberty to share that information with you. Client confidentiality rules forbid it.” He pauses. “I want to . . . but I can’t.”

  “Then I’m not at liberty to believe you or listen to anything you say.” I turn away from him to stare at the fire that’s still busy destroying my building. It feels like my entire future is turning into ashes before my eyes.

  “You need to listen to me. I’m not kidding.”

  “I know you’re not kidding, but that doesn’t mean I have to listen to you.” How could he be so cruel? I thought Greg was kind, but now he looks and sounds like a monster.

  His voice drops. “I have reason to believe Darrell is your father. And as you know, he was officially kicked out of the band and paid a sum for that departure over twenty years ago. The language used in the trust only applies to the children of Red, Keith, Mooch, or Cash . . . not Darrell. If you walk away from the settlement, I never have to say anything to anyone, and you and your family can continue on as usual. But if you try to take part of the settlement, I will have to tell them the truth of what I know. There’s no way around it. I’m just trying to protect you.”

  I whip my head around at him, instantly furious that he felt it was okay to reveal something to me that I’m not prepared to discuss. My voice comes out as a growl. “How dare you.” How could he do that after he touched my body, after we were so intimate? I should have known after I made that phone call to him and he was so cold toward me that deep down inside he was a heartless jerk. He was probably just sleeping with me so he could keep tabs on my thoughts toward the settlement!

  He doesn’t respond to my ire. I can see his jaw twitching in the light of the fire, but he’s holding back. He’s not going to say anything in his defense, which only confirms my suspicions that he used me. I’m so angry, I want to slap a response out of him. He’s not going to just stand there and ignore me this time.

  “You had no right to keep that information from me.” I wipe away a tear. I’m so mad at my body right now for being weak, for showing him that he’s hurt me.

  “Maybe not,” he says.

  “What about my sisters? Are you going to force them to take DNA tests if they want the money?”

  “No. I’m not required to do that.”

  I want to scream with frustration. “I don’t get it! You can’t prove they’re n
ot Darrell’s kids without that!”

  He sighs. “Listen, I know this is confusing. Let me try to explain it better.” He pauses, running his hand through his hair before continuing. “According to the language in the trust, I’m allowed to identify daughters of the band—the band without Darrell on the roster—using simple methods, like I did. I found the almost-twenty-five-year-old daughters of the mothers who were with the band, and I was allowed to assume they were entitled to the funds in the trust. We set it up that way so that this messy stuff with Darrell wouldn’t even come into question. No one wanted to cause bad blood between you girls or your moms by getting into the nitty-gritty of your parentage. It was supposed to be simple.”

  “That worked out so well.” It’s impossible to keep the bitterness from my voice. Simple, my ass.

  “Yeah. Right. Anyway, the problem arose when Darrell got into the mix. He’s how we found you in the first place, but then when he realized his revelations of your existence weren’t going to help his situation, and he was going to continue to be cut out of the band’s business, he upped the ante and told me what he knew about you.”

  “That thing you can’t share with me.” I’m trying so hard not to walk away. I really am, but my feet are getting seriously itchy.

  “Exactly. And once I knew that information and saw it with my own eyes, I knew you weren’t legally entitled to the trust’s funds, and I could no longer just go along and pretend I didn’t know it and let you take the money. It would be unethical.” He looks angry as he delivers his last line. “In other words, I know too much.”

  “You know what, Greg? You’re a really good lawyer.”

  “What do you mean by that?” He looks directly at me, but his expression is impossible to read now. I’d like to believe I see regret there, but I’d be fooling myself. His feelings for me were entirely manufactured; he proved that to me tonight.

  “You’ve shown that you’ll go to the ends of the earth to do your job. You made that perfectly clear today. I’m sure your clients will be very happy with your performance, so good for you.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” His jaw tenses. I’ve made him mad, and I’m glad for it.

  I throw my hands up, gesturing around me. “This whole thing! Pretending to be interested in what I do . . . in my animals. In me! Cleaning out kennels, for God’s sake! And sleeping with me? Wow. That was really above and beyond.” I laugh bitterly. “Bravo, Greg. You found a way to work a bonus for yourself into the deal. You can check ‘sleeping with a hippie chick’ off your bucket list. Well done.”

  He grabs my hand as I try to walk away. “Don’t you dare,” he says.

  I yank my hand away from him. “Don’t I dare what? Throw the truth back in your face?”

  “No!” he yells. Then he lowers his voice. “No. Don’t accuse me of doing those horrible things. I would never do that to anyone for anyone. Not a client or anyone else.”

  “Oh, yeah? Then explain yourself. Explain to me how you could know these things about me—about my heritage—and not share them with me . . . and yet go ahead and sleep with me? Please. I really want to know.” At this point I’m starting to think all men are total shits and I will never understand their gender, even if I had a million years to try.

  His voice goes even lower as he steps closer. He’s still angry. “I slept with you because I like you. I’m attracted to you, and I think I could have a future with you. There’s no ulterior motive involved in that at all.”

  “Yeah, right,” I scoff, rolling my eyes. He is so full of crap. He’s probably worried I’m going to tell Amber, and then she’ll tell the band and he’ll get fired. Surely they didn’t ask him to sleep with me or to tell me not to take the settlement . . . Red himself asked me to do it just today!

  “I didn’t want to have to tell you anything about that ridiculous settlement. I was glad when you turned it down. You walking away from it would solve all of our problems.”

  “All of our problems. You mean all of your problems.”

  “These are your problems too, in case you haven’t noticed. This whole thing your family has going on is predicated on the idea that you children were fathered by the guys in the band.”

  “No, it isn’t,” I say. Red and the rest of the band know that Darrell could be my father, yet they’ve always acted like it doesn’t matter. Why is Greg acting like it does? I just don’t understand.

  “Darrell was kicked out of the band for a reason. He’s kind of a dick, and I’m sorry to say that about a man you’re related to, but the truth is what it is. He’s the reason your mothers left without saying anything to anybody. He was very involved in that whole cover-up. He knew your mothers were pregnant, and he didn’t care. Unlike the other band members, he chose not to be a father to you, and he was intimately involved in ruining your sisters’ chances at a relationship with their fathers. You know there’s no love lost between him and Red. You think it won’t matter to them that you’re Darrell’s daughter?”

  “No.” At the same time I’m declaring this, I’m doubting it. They all either hate him or have no respect for him. He ruined lives, for God’s sake.

  “How do you think everybody’s going to react when they find out?”

  “Find out what?” I’m playing dumb as my heart is hammering away painfully in my chest. I don’t want to think about this now—or ever, for that matter—but he keeps pushing and I can’t seem to walk away.

  “That he’s your father.” Greg actually has the gall to look concerned over the idea.

  “They already know!” I yell, the strongest piece of me clinging to the idea that my family would love me no matter what. “He publicly claimed me, as you well know.”

  Although . . . my mother made it perfectly clear at that same meeting that Darrell was not the only band member she was sleeping with. Did she do this in front of everyone that day because she realized that my family might reject me if they thought I was his daughter?

  Sickness fills my gut. I suddenly feel excluded from the group made up of my mothers and sisters again, same as I did when Darrell first made his grand statement. They despise him. What will they think of me if it turns out I’m his daughter? And how does Greg know for sure that I am?

  I’m furious at Greg for even bringing this up. I would’ve been happy to live in ignorance for the rest of my life. “So what do you expect me to do?” I ask. “Walk away, even though you supposedly can’t tell me how it is you know that I’m related to him?”

  “No, don’t be ridiculous.” He tries to reach out and take my hand, but I pull away. “Nothing has to change,” he continues. “Just keep doing what you’ve always done.”

  “What? Pretending like I belong?”

  “You do belong. You belong in every single way that counts. I just can’t let the money go to you if you’re not legally entitled to it, and I have information that leads me to believe you’re not. I can’t just ignore what I know; it’s a violation of ethics rules. My mandate from the very beginning was to identify the children of the band members, find them, and make them the offer. I went on this journey assuming they were correct in believing you were related to them, but after I spoke extensively with Darrell and consulted with a doctor who specializes in genetics, I found out differently. I’m just doing my job.”

  “Always the lawyer, huh?” I hate him at the same time as I respect him. As angry as I am, I know that he’s telling the truth. If he’s the only one besides Darrell who knows the facts and not just the rumors of my parentage, it wouldn’t hurt him to let me take the money. When would anyone ever find out? Darrell’s been trying to get at them for years with no luck. Greg could have kept on sleeping with me and getting whatever he wanted. But he didn’t. He told me this awful secret about who my father is and risked everything we had going by doing it.

  “I am what I am, Rose. I’m not going to apologize for being that person. I’ve worked my entire adult life for these men, and I have always put their needs f
irst. I’m going to do the right thing by them before I do the right thing by myself or you, because that is my job. I can’t lie to them by keeping information to myself that’s relevant. I have a fiduciary duty to them according to the law, and I have a duty to be loyal.”

  “Loyalty is the law too?”

  “No. That’s just me. I’m loyal to people who have taken care of me like they have. Without them, I’m not sure how I could be the guardian that I am to Linny, and that’s very important to me.”

  I’m not going to argue with him about his loyalties. I’d lose the debate because I actually admire that about him. Instead, I switch to another part of his statement. “‘If it becomes relevant,’ you said to me before. That was an interesting choice of words.”

  “Exactly. I used them for a reason. If you don’t take the settlement, the conversation between the band and me never needs to happen. But if you bring it up, I have to tell them what I know and how I know it.”

  “Are you trying to blackmail me? Are you telling me that I need to keep my mouth shut or you’re going to cause trouble for me?” The gall of this guy!

  He drops into a squatting position and rests his head in his hands and his elbows on his knees. “No, God, no. Please, don’t say that. You make it sound so awful.”

  I look down at him . . . angry, distant, disgusted, sad, and desperately lonely. “How else am I supposed to say it? According to you, I either need to stop talking about taking the settlement, or you’re going to go to the men in the band and tell them I’m not their daughter . . . that I’m the daughter of the one man they can’t stand to even look at.”

  He just shakes his head, not saying anything.

  The truck rolls up and the window goes down. Amber sticks her head out. “Are you coming with us?”

  “I’ll be right there,” I say.