Cost of Survival

  Chapter 21

  My face burned, like hot, wet lava dripped onto my skin. I know I was dreaming, but I couldn’t escape. I jerked my shoulders but something held me down. I pushed and pulled. Sobs shook me. Or was that something else?

  I snapped my eyes open, gulping for air.

  “Kelly, you’re okay. Breathe.” John sat on the edge of my carpet-bed and peered at me with his penlight focused on the ceiling.

  Tears streaming down my cheeks – must have been the lava – I met his gaze. “Breathing is all I’ve been trying to do since we left home. But I can’t. I can’t find…” I looked around, the tightness in my chest and throat constricting painfully. What was I missing? What couldn’t I find? “Me. I can’t find me. My mom’s gone. John, my whole family is gone. I have no one. Everything I do hurts someone. Hurts me.” A lump formed beneath the hollow in my throat and I chewed on my cheek.

  “Is that what you were dreaming about?” John’s calm voice reminded me of my dad’s. He always redirected my emotions, soothing me.

  “No.” I swiped my cheeks. Stupid tears could take a vacation any time. “We were in a group of people claiming to be our friends, but they all had guns on us. One of us was shot.” I shook my head, amazed my words were even coherent. “I’m sorry, I’m not making sense.”

  Patting my shoulder, John spoke slowly. “You need to pay attention to your dreams. They usually tell you the route to take or teach you something you didn’t know you already knew.” He chuckled, the sound similar to Bodey’s. “Now I sound like a fortune cookie.”

  I glanced at Bodey’s sleeping form. “He’s pretty special, you know?”

  A soft smile touched John’s face when he too gazed at his son. “Yep, I do know.”

  Trembling, I didn’t want to lay down in the dark – alone – quite yet. I fingered the hem of the blanket. “What did you do before this?”

  John shifted, drawing his leg up and resting his elbow on his mid-thigh. “I was a police officer. Well, first I started in the Air Force but transferred to civilian police. Dealing with the politics for a couple years, I opted out and started my own handyman business.” He tapped the end of the mini-flashlight on his palm, making the beam of light dance around the room.

  “Bodey told me your wife and daughter are missing.” I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to be alone and I also wanted to give my condolences. I had nothing else to give.

  Pressing his lips together, John stared at the floor. “I’m not sure.”

  My cheeks tight, I offered a teary smile. “I’m sorry. I would trade spots with them, if I could.”

  “No. You’re more valuable than you know. Your life is just as important as theirs. If they’re meant to make it, they will. We’ll find each other and get this family back on track.” He patted my shoulder, scooting to the edge of the stack of carpets. “I’ll take care of you, Kelly. Between Bodey and me, you should be safe. We need to stick together. Get some sleep, we’ve had a long day.”

  Would it be self-serving to hope John and Bodey needed me as much as I needed them?