Jake Understood

  Nina kept innocently looking at me waiting for a reply.

  I coughed. “Now is the time to make a move.”

  She nodded slowly for the longest time before saying, “Interesting.”

  “It is…very interesting.”

  Her eyes were fixated on my mouth as I scraped my tongue ring against my teeth, something I did a lot when I became anxious. We were both definitely feeling quite happy after polishing off the scorpion bowl. I couldn’t take my eyes off her and was probably making my attraction way more obvious than normal because of my inebriated state.

  ***

  The weather outside was ten times colder than it had been earlier in the evening. Nina was only wearing a light jacket. There were no cabs in sight, so we decided to walk until we came across one.

  I could see my breath. “So, did you have fun?”

  “More than I have in a long time.” Her teeth chattered as she spoke.

  “Good. I’m glad you took my little performance for what it was, and I hope you know I meant everything I said tonight.”

  “Thank you.” She smiled. “I was so broken up over my brother earlier, and once again, you managed to turn a miserable moment for me into something crazy good.”

  The look of trust in her eyes cut through me.

  I’m going to end up devastating you.

  The alcohol had loosened my inhibitions, so when she started to shiver, I didn’t think twice about rubbing my hands vigorously along the tops of her arms to warm her as we walked. While we weren’t totally sloshed, we were both definitely under the influence, and that made me wary about what might happen when we got home. As much as I’d vowed not to let anything transpire between us, I never fully trusted myself with her. Not to mention, we’d never been almost-wasted together.

  Even though it was a cold night, the stars were shining brightly in the sky. She looked up as we were walking. “Look how clear the sky is, how pretty the stars are tonight. It makes you want to just reach up and touch them,” she said.

  I don’t know what possessed me to say, “Some of the most beautiful things are those we can only enjoy from afar. The unattainability makes the attraction more intense.”

  Yes, I’m talking about you.

  “So, if the stars were something we could easily touch, they wouldn’t be so fascinating?” she asked.

  “I’m not sure about that. What I do know is there are some magnificent things that are beautiful but that also can hurt you if you get too close. The sun is an example. It can burn.”

  Nothing like talking in code while drunk.

  “Like fire…” she said.

  Fire.

  Me.

  She knew what I was getting at.

  I barely noticed that we’d stopped walking. I looked straight into her eyes and whispered, “Like fire.”

  The city moved around us as we stood still facing each other in the middle of the sidewalk.

  “Sometimes, if you’re willing to withstand a little pain in life, you might discover a pleasure that you never would have otherwise known existed. Remember that saying, Jake? You taught me that,” she said as she slowly moved in closer to me, our breath mingling together in the frigid air. “Some things might be worth getting burned for.”

  She definitely wasn’t referring to sun or fire, either. She was trying to send me a message, too, and I heard it loud and clear. She knew I was hiding something but was willing to take a chance. Unfortunately, Nina had no clue how bad the truth really was, and I wasn’t quite ready to divulge it and risk losing her altogether just yet.

  A cab finally approached us. If I thought getting into that car was going to make things less tense, I couldn’t have been more wrong.

  We slipped into the backseat, and her leg pressed up against mine. When the cab made a sudden turn, she fell right into me. My entire body froze up because she stayed there, her head on my chest. My tormented heart pounded furiously. Staring blankly out of the window, I tried my best to ignore all of the sensations building inside of me. With her scent and the warmth of her body, it was impossible to fight my arousal. My dick was rock hard, and if she moved at all, she’d feel it. I wished I could have pulled her onto my lap to show her exactly how much I wanted her. At one point, she placed her hand on my chest right over my heart that was beating a mile a minute.

  Now, Nina knew what she was doing to me. If she didn’t, she’d figure it out in my bedroom later that night.

  CHAPTER 10

  Past

  I couldn’t sleep. My mind wouldn’t stop rehashing what happened in that cab with Nina.

  Get…your shit…together.

  As if no woman’s ever touched you before like that? The truth was, no woman had ever made me feel the way she just did in that taxi.

  Keeping it in the friend zone was starting to wear on me. Tonight proved that these feelings were beyond my control. It took every ounce of strength I had to hold back, and if the ride were any longer, I would have lost it.

  Her mouth had been just inches from mine. Her soft fingertips were caressing my chest, and I could feel her breathing on me…sweet, soft, little breaths. My heart had been beating faster than a rabbit in heat, and she felt that. I wondered if she felt my dick throbbing, too.

  I could only imagine what she must have been thinking as I sat there frozen like a fucking mummy while she leaned against me. If I’d let my body relax and do what it wanted to, there would have been no going back. And I couldn’t do that to her. Not until she knew what she’d really be getting herself into with me. She deserved better.

  Earlier, when we exited the cab, I had asked her to walk ahead of me, trying to buy some time to talk my dick down. It was practically saluting her when I wished her good night and walked back to my room.

  I just needed to get some sleep and move past this. But as I tossed and turned, all I could think about was saying “fuck it all” and busting through her bedroom door.

  I wondered what she was wearing.

  Go to sleep.

  I really had to use the bathroom but had been putting it off because I couldn’t even trust myself to go straight there without taking a detour to her room.

  When I finally couldn’t hold it anymore, I walked out to the hall and noticed that there was no light coming from under her door. A sense of relief came over me because if there had been light, I might have been tempted to knock.

  Knock her boots.

  Get your mind out the gutter!

  After I took a long piss, I was leaving the bathroom when her soft breasts knocked right into my chest.

  “Whoa! Are you okay?” I asked, rubbing my thumb over the skin of her forehead.

  I made the mistake of looking down and noticed she was wearing a lace tank top so small, it looked like one of those things my grandmother had on her coffee table under the candlesticks. A doily? I had to pry my eyes upward.

  “Yeah…I’m fine. Sorry, I didn’t think to check if you were in here. The light in your room was on, so I assumed you were in there,” she said.

  I leaned against the sink and crossed my arms. “What are you still doing up?”

  “I can’t sleep, so I came in here to pee.”

  She flashed me the cutest smile. I loved her smile. God, she was beautiful. I wanted to kiss her.

  Wait…she needed to pee. That was your cue to leave. Move, drunk ass.

  “Oh…well, I should probably let you do that,” I said, backing away from the sink.

  She laughed. “Yeah, probably.”

  “Right…” I said before walking out and closing the door.

  I took my hand to my head, shooting an imaginary pistol at my brain as I walked back to my room.

  I intentionally left my door open. It was a bad idea, but a part of me just wanted her to come into my room. Maybe we could try that spooning thing again.

  Who the fuck was I kidding?

  I grabbed my laptop, so that it would look like I was doing something other than waiting impatiently to get
another look at her beautiful tits in that top. Why I wanted to torture myself when I couldn’t really have her was beyond me.

  When she appeared at the doorway, I closed my laptop. My heart pounded faster with each step Nina took toward me. I breathed a sigh of relief when she stopped and sat at the far end of my bed.

  Good. Stay far away from me, Nina.

  I sat up straighter. “How was your pee?”

  “Fantastic.”

  I couldn’t even recall what I said…something like, “good to hear” as my eyes betrayed my brain’s better judgment and wandered down to her chest. I could have sworn her nipples were hardening by the second and now, so was my dick. My mouth was watering. All she had to do was look down and she’d see how much I wanted her.

  “What were you looking at?” she asked.

  Shit.

  Busted.

  Speak!

  I shook my head. “Huh?”

  “On your laptop.”

  Phew.

  “Oh…on my laptop. Right. Just useless surfing.”

  She grinned. “I see.”

  Our eyes were locked on each other as we just sat there, and this time, I was transfixed by what lie above her neck. Looking into her blue eyes was like gazing at a calm ocean. My stare didn’t break until the bed next door starting squeaking.

  Friggin’ Ryan and Tarah having sex.

  Well, that was awkward. Say something to break the ice, Jake. While you’re at it, break a piece off and rub it over your dick to cool it down.

  I cleared my throat and asked sarcastically, “You think they’re having sex?”

  Nina’s cheeks were rosy as she looked down. She was so stinking adorable. “Should we just pretend it’s not happening?”

  “Yeah. You wanna do a math lesson?”

  “Sure.”

  “Let’s see…we can talk about the probability of sixty-nine,” I joked.

  She blushed even more. “I would say based on that noise, it’s very high.”

  We both started to laugh, but all I could focus on was the fact that she actually knew what sixty-nine meant. Sweet, innocent girl…with a dirty mind. And I thought I couldn’t want her more than I already did.

  The noises from next door stopped, but the silence that followed was even more unbearable.

  I looked up at her, and she batted her eyelashes at me. She wanted me, too. That was clear and making this so much harder.

  I started picking at the lint on my comforter to distract myself from the need building inside of me. It really wasn’t working because my mind started going in a different direction. All I could think about was whether or not she was a virgin. Even though she was probably too old to have not had sex, she gave off a vibe of purity and sexual naivety. Maybe if she were a virgin, it would help convince little Jake down there that things couldn’t go any further anyway, regardless of my holding back.

  It was against my better judgment, but I said it anyway. “I bet that prick ex-boyfriend of yours sucked in bed.”

  She looked shocked at my assertion. After a few seconds, she said, “Actually, he did…big-time.”

  Okay. Question answered.

  My body went rigid as I sat up straighter. “So, you have had sex.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” She laughed nervously.

  “See, now I’ve made you blush. I’m sorry. You just strike me as a certain kind of girl.”

  “What kind of girl is that?”

  “It’s nothing bad. Just…innocent…maybe a virgin.” I looked up at the ceiling. What the fuck did I get myself into with this conversation? Just tell her the truth. “The kind of girl that guys like me are dying to corrupt.”

  She wasn’t saying anything. The mood shifted again and grew even tenser. I backed away against the headboard to keep my distance because my willpower was dwindling fast.

  Then, she cleared her throat. “Well, in answer to your question…yes, I have had sex, but it was just with him.”

  “He was your only, and he sucked in bed? That’s unfortunate.”

  “Yeah. It was unfortunate. I never even actually…you know…with him.”

  “You never what?” I asked. As I looked at her expression, what she meant suddenly dawned on me. My smile faded. Holy shit. No. My voice went low in disbelief. “You never came? You never even had an orgasm?”

  She shook her head. “Not from another person.”

  Whatever reserve I had built up was destroyed in that moment as images of Nina touching herself flooded my brain. All of the blood in my body rushed straight to my dick.

  I started attacking the lint on my comforter again as if that were going to help. My dick was completely hard now, and there was nowhere to run and nothing I could do. Either I was looking at her beautiful, wanting eyes, hard nipples or thinking about her getting herself off. It was a blue balls trifecta.

  My cock twitched as I imagined her eyes closed, spread eagle, clit glistening, pleasuring herself. What did she think about in that pretty little head of hers when she did it? I wanted it to be me. Why was I torturing myself, asking her these questions? Still, I wanted to hear more. If I couldn’t touch her, I damn well wanted material for later. I needed to hear more. So, I kept on with it.

  “So, you come when you touch yourself…”

  “Yeah,” she simply said.

  Fuck.

  I closed my eyes for a moment. It was impossible to believe that no guy had ever made her come. I hoped she knew that wasn’t normal. “Sex doesn’t count if he didn’t make you come, Nina. You’re basically still a virgin.” I bit down on my lip ring in frustration. “He had sex. You didn’t.”

  What a damn shame that no one had ever pleasured her. It made me angry, but in a twisted way, it invigorated me. I wanted nothing more than to be the first man to ever make her come…with my mouth, with my hands, with my cock buried deep inside of her.

  You have no idea what I would do to you, Nina, if it were that simple. What I might do to you anyway if you don’t get the fuck out of here soon.

  I continued to look at her, imagining all the different ways I would make her come if I could. Her cheeks were flush from this conversation alone, and I wondered what they’d look like if I reached over and kissed her senseless.

  My body was experiencing a level of physical need that was completely foreign to me. I’d never wanted to fuck someone so badly.

  I realized I was staring at her nipples again and had to do something. And God, I needed a cigarette. Trying to quit, I hadn’t smoked one in weeks, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Having nowhere to run with a raging hard on was as desperate as it got for me. It was either move from this spot or pull her onto my lap. A change of position was much needed.

  I couldn’t help but laugh a little when she flinched as I got up from the bed. She had no idea how close I just came to grabbing her face and kissing her, but instead, in a split decision, I practically ran to the window. As I opened it, the frosty air that blew inside the room calmed me down for like a millisecond. Then, I walked over to the drawer, fumbled for a cigarette and lit it, inhaling deeply. The smoke burned my throat as I sucked in again, hoping it would help me control myself.

  “Why are you smoking? I thought you quit.”

  I shook my head. “I did. But I really needed one, and I need to keep my distance right now.”

  “Why?” she asked.

  She wasn’t gonna let it go. She knew I’d been trying to quit. If I was smoking all of a sudden, it was obvious that I was losing my shit. I inhaled again and turned to look at her sweet face. Just wanting to open up to her, my heart clenched.

  “You really want to know why I’m smoking?”

  She nodded. “Yes.”

  “Because it’s keeping my mouth occupied and stopping me from doing something I shouldn’t right now.” I took another long drag. “You should probably go back to your room.”

  It was the right thing to say, the right thing to do. She needed to leave because I
could only stand so much more of this. She had no idea what she’d be getting into with me, and it wouldn’t be fair to spring it on her tonight. It was late, and we were both still a little drunk. Not the time to be having that discussion.

  “You’re smoking and telling me to leave because you want to kiss me?”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. As if I only wanted to “kiss” her. Yeah, that would be a start, but there was no end to the list of things I would to do to her, with her, show her for the first time. I dreamt of what that would be like so often while lying in my bed at night. Just kissing would never be an option with how I was feeling about this girl.

  I inhaled deeply again and looked over at her. This time, her chest was heaving in anticipation of my saying something, doing something. She even looked a little scared.

  Fuck it. Nina, you want the truth? I can’t give you what I want to, but I can give you the truth.

  “I wouldn’t tell you to leave if I only wanted to kiss you, Nina. I’m telling you to leave because I want to taste you and make you come until you scream in every possible way imaginable. It was all I could think about all night long. It’s why I couldn’t sleep. But now that you just told me no man has ever done that…fuck. That’s why I am smoking if you really want to know.”

  My heart raced.

  What the fuck did I just say?

  Her face turned bright red as she just stood there. As shocked as I was at myself for blurting it out, it felt like a tremendous weight had been lifted. I’d been dying to tell her for so long how much I wanted her. Absorbing my words, she stayed frozen at the edge of the bed. I put out my cigarette and stayed staring out the window to keep my distance.

  I cleared my throat and repeated, “I really think you should go back to your room.”

  When it started to feel like Antarctica, I closed the window. Without the distraction of the cigarette, I had no choice but to turn to her and noticed her nipples were harder than before. I could now make out almost exactly what her breasts looked like naked. My eyes were glued, and I licked my lips, desperately wanting to taste them through the thin fabric of her shirt.