Lovefool (Introduction)

#41 WHERE DOES THE GOOD GO

  When Julian looked at her, he had no words to describe how beautiful Mia was and she had his complete attention. She looked good in his clothes. She could wear anything and she would still look nice. She was sitting at the table and he made her lunch. He wondered what would be his excuse for not participating in this meal. Julian should change the impression she had and use this situation to pretend he was normal. Still, he didn’t want to pretend anything that wasn’t true.

  Mia was observing him and contemplated. She looked concentrated. He wondered what she was thinking about and at the same time he was making scrambled eggs. All other things she might need were already on the table.

  -You won’t eat with me? – She asked after a while, and she looked as if she knew the answer already.

  -No, I’m not hungry.

  -You didn't eat breakfast and now you don’t eat again. You say I have to rest and take care of myself. – The sarcasm in her voice was perceptible. Still she was very nice to him. Her eyes were smiling.

  -It is true. – Julian answered shortly.

  -Oh. – It was strange, but she was already convinced her statement at breakfast was true.

  He didn't drink and didn't eat. Moreover, he wasn't starving. How was it possible?

  He let the time pass by normally and checked in the meanwhile whether her clothes were dry. She didn't notice, but he had already washed them and now they were in the dryer. He didn't want her to eat alone, and he managed to hang up the clothes before she even noticed that he wasn't at the table all the time. Nevertheless, she noticed something; she was watching him more and more curiously.

  -What’s wrong? – He asked apparently surprised and she didn't answer.

  Mia already saw something similar in the guy who called himself Jonas. He introduced himself the first time they met after some years and it wasn't the nicest way to present any person.

  As Jonas surprisingly cut her with a knife, he said something hard to understand, but the last part of it was “from Jonas”. It was his gift for her. He stabbed this sharp, small carving knife into her leg and moved it a little. If he wanted to, he could easily rotate it in her body and make this wound even worse. He was apparently giving it a thought, but finally he pulled the knife out of her body and left the room. Mia was so thankful that she was wearing a very long sweater, which hid any trace of being hurt. In addition, her jeans were black and nobody could notice the blood. She was only afraid of the smell of blood, but somehow nobody complained about it. Moreover, she was indeed convinced that this wound wasn't as deep as it really was.

  Jonas was faster than other people she knew. He had the ability to surprise her with his speed. She was quite good in noticing reactions, but Jonas was still faster. He was stronger than other people although he didn't have muscles like Arnold Schwarzenegger. He once crushed a table as if it wasn't made out of wood but out of paper. He just hit it with his fist and the table burst into pieces. Smaller and bigger pieces of wood flew through the air and she had to put her hands in front of her face to protect her eyes. It was very weird that she saw this destroying act in slow motion. It was maybe not as slow as in real slow motion pictures, but her impression was that everything was passing quite slowly so she could see the danger and react. Splinters of wood were stopped by her clothes and some got directly into her skin. She removed them at home.

  Here she had the same impression: it was a question of time. She already knew the feeling of forgetting about time when she read something interesting – time just seemed to pass quicker than normally. Alternatively, when she was in a hurry and every second counted, the clock was really mean in its consistent movement. Time can change according to your feelings. However, here Mia had another perception about time. She couldn't express it with words, but it was a very strange feeling. Sometimes she thought she was crazy, paranoid and surely psychologically disabled; and all of it because of these impressions. Maybe she was crazy... Alternatively, maybe she wasn't the one with a problem. She felt like she was captured between Sunday and Monday and wasn't able to leave the calendar.

  Today’s morning was one of the time loops when she was sure that it wasn't normal in any human perception. The whole morning took ages although she wasn't bored. She managed to do so many things and she still had time. She admired these two paintings for at least an hour and after a look on her watch, it was just a moment. Maybe her watch was bonkers. Maybe she should change batteries. Maybe she was just too sick and tired and finally she had the opportunity to rest and her body reacted differently?

  Now, he was observing her and Mia definitely stroke for him as odd.

  -Nothing, nothing. – She whispered and shook her head.

  -If you like to, we can go outside. Fresh air doesn't hurt.

  She nodded and stood up. Somehow, she wasn't able to eat much recently.