Lovefool (Introduction)

#85 DEAD AND GONE

  Then, Mia suddenly had the impulse to run. Her instinct forced her to run, but she was still standing there like a sculpture. Moreover, she felt a coldness creeping up to her. She looked into that direction and somehow, she wasn't surprised by seeing him here. One way or another, she knew that he would find her. Now or later – the eclipse of time didn’t matter.

  It wasn't Julian. It wasn't Sebastian. It was indeed Jonas. He was smiling awry, but with satisfaction. He approached her. Her earphones dropped out of her ears. Only a second later, he was next to her and forced her to go with him. His touch on her back was ice-cold and rough. He was strong, and she felt it.

  -Mia, I have to thank you very much. Without witnesses. – He said calm, but with a contentment in his voice. He even clapped his hands a couple of times to applaud like people who admire a new Oscar winner.

  He was wearing a suit like an honest and respected businessperson or politician and he really looked great in it, everything matched perfectly: his black suit, the violet shirt, and the mad sparkle in his eyes.

  Mia wasn't wondering about anything anymore. She let him push her to the exit and they were standing in front of the main entrance to the railway station. Ahead of them, there was the residence of the German chancellor and the river Spree over spun by a bridge and the lights of Berlin.

  Jonas waved with his hand and a black new shiny Mercedes S appeared suddenly and stopped in front of them. Jonas opened the door and forced Mia to get in. He was cruel and hurt her, but Mia liked this pain. It was somehow relieving her from her internal pain. It was an exhaust pipe for her emotions. She followed his unspoken orders and while they were driving, she tried to look around inconspicuously to realize where they were going. The truth was that she didn't know Berlin; she had never been to this city before and had no idea about its layout.

  They passed the Bundestag building and Humboldt University, then the German Dome and TV Tower at Alexander’s Square. The whole city seemed to shine and to spread colourful messages to the world. Even green and properly planted trees were glowing. They stood straight in two rows like proud soldiers who kept the guard.

  The car was going further, and Mia couldn't recognize the names of the buildings anymore. It was meaningless, anyway.

  Suddenly, they stopped and Jonas pushed her towards the door, she got out of the car. She didn't have time to look around. All she could see, was that they were on an important vein of the city. The buildings looked rather Russian than German. She was surprised to feel him taking her into his arms and to find herself on a roof of an old building a second later. The panorama view over Berlin was great. However, Mia had no time to admire city full of lights and life. They were still in Centrum, because below them there was this multi-lane road with many cars.

  Mia wasn't scared. She was so empty inside that she didn't even find a trace of curiosity to wonder how he had found her. Jonas pushed her and she made some steps towards the edge of the roof. Now she was standing only one step apart from the edge of this building.

  -I wanted to thank you, Miss Mia. You made my task easier than I expected. – Jonas started to talk and watched her very carefully. Mia’s face didn't change and her eyes remained empty.

  -You should not be so shy, really. You did a real good job. – He complemented her in an ironic tone.

  -I guess you know that I am not what you thought I am. I don’t know how much your friend Julian told you about our secret, but I suppose you know who he is.

  Mia didn't move, but as she heard Julian’s name her eyes started to burn. How did Jonas know about Julian?

  -Yes, now I see that you are really following me.

  Cold wind was blowing into her face, played with her hair. However, she concentrated herself on every move of Jonas. He made some small, slow steps here and there, but kept a distance of a few meters to her. Mia was still silent.

  -So, dear Mia, thanks to you I could find him sooner than I expected. It was quite trashy to see your love. It was just too simple and I was surprised. For the first time for centuries, I was stunned. Can you imagine it? – He made a short break and smiled devilishly. - Therefore, you have earned a little bit of respect from me. You managed something that was almost impossible. Respect.

  Mia followed his moves and listened to his ironic tone. Thousands of questions were running around in her head and she wanted to get answers.

  -And now, I managed to bring you to the same state of mind I was in a few weeks ago. I was asking you questions and you didn't answer them. Now you know how it feels to literally burn inside for answers. Am I right?

  He looked at her watchfully. She assumed that apparently he didn't get all of his answers and therefore he still needed her. However, she didn't intend to help him. He wouldn't get any information from her. She could suffer as much as she never did before, but she wouldn't give in to Jonas.

  -Oh, I see, you don’t want to cooperate. I already know this look on your face too well. – Jonas sarcasm was hitting her like needles in the air.

  Mia stayed calm and didn't move. Then, suddenly he came so rapidly towards her that she almost felt the wave of air, he caused. Additionally, he pushed her softly. It was strong enough to make her lose her balance and she had to make a step back. Then he pushed her once again and she felt that she wasn't able to make any further step. One more step and she would fall down.

  Jonas was standing in front of her, face to face, and watched her with a crooked smile. Then he pushed her again and she percepted how she fell into the abyss. She saw the trees below and the sidewalk and the cars and lights but in the moment she started to fall, Jonas caught her wrist and held her hanging in the air. Her legs moved automatically looking for something to stand on.

  Jonas bowed down towards her still holding her wrist. It was painful. She already thought he would smash it like a rainbow bubble. The pain was horrible, but she managed not to show it on her face. And then he pushed his nails into her wrist like an eagle pushing it's claws into the body of its victim. It was easy for him.

  -And, how do you like it?

  Mia didn't answer, but if she could kill him with her eyes, he would already be dead. However, it wasn't so easy.

  -I knew it. You are quite brave, but in the end, it won’t help anybody. I see that you don’t care about your own life. – Jonas spoke slowly and clearly. – And therefore, I made up another plan to get information out of you.

  He pulled her up and in a second, Mia was standing safely on the roof again. She was breathing fast and her heart was beating furiously, but she still had the same look in her eyes. She wasn't cooperative in any way. She looked shortly at her wrist. It was bloody. She didn't care. She thought about what he was planning.

  -At first, we have to go and buy you a nice dress. Julian will like it and I think he would appreciate seeing you in a nice dress.

  Mia didn't answer. Internally she was so furious that it was almost impossible to keep all this energy in her little body.

  Words like violence

  Break the silence

  Come crashing in

  Into my little world

  Painful to me

  Pierce right through me

  Can you understand

  The radio played immortal Depeche Mode and she felt exactly this way: but instead of words, it was Jonas and his plan, breaking the silence.

  Jonas talked shortly to perfectly styled sales ladies and they took Mia by her unhurt hand and led her through a shop. They were arguing what Mia should wear and they didn't care really about her. And Mia wanted to escape as fast as possible from the claws of the posh experts. She saw tops and dresses, which they brought and which she should try on. At first, the sales ladies bandaged her hurt wrist so she wouldn't spoil the clothes. Mia let it happen. She didn't want to look at her wound, because she already assumed it was deeper and bigger than she thought. Sometimes it is better not to know everything for sure.

  On the one hand, Mia
didn't have time to lose. She had to do something. However, for gathering her strength and making up a plan, she needed time to think. She used the time for trying on different clothes for this. They stuck her into clothes like the most famous stars would wear, but she didn't feel good in them. In addition, she hated dresses. She preferred pants and a top, but the sales ladies ignored her, only focussed at Jonas, looking for his approval. Mia seemed to be a Barbie doll that should be dressed according to the liking of her owner. It was humiliating. Mia had to wear all these creations, came out of the changing room, presented herself shortly. Jonas shook his head without approval to any of these dresses.

  Mia was thinking feverishly about a plan, but there were too many unknown factors involved. She couldn't guess how much Jonas knew about Julian and what Jonas was up to. She supposed that Jonas didn't have any good intentions. She had to get more information from him.

  Now Mia was wearing a top looking like Beyonce on the cover of her album “Halo” – it was nonchalant and very stylish. It was of an amazing silver colour. With the top, she got a short pair of pants in the same colour. Everything looked gorgeous. The sales ladies brought her white ballerinas and tied up some of her curls with a white band.

  Mia wasn't even looking at her reflection in the mirror, but Jonas nodded with pleasure. The sales clerks were pleased, as well. This girl looked glamorous and stylish as the most famous Hollywood stars. However, Mia was disappointed and apparently ignored their work. The nice man, who was obviously her manager, was right: the new stars were puffed up and eccentric. Probably, she was taking drugs like all new shiny stars and thought she’s the best. Then the sales ladies started to discuss how this girl could hurt herself so badly.

  In the meanwhile, Jonas took Mia by her healthy hand and forced her to follow him. He pushed her to get into the car and they were on the way again. Mia didn't feel comfortable at all. In fact, the new clothes were not her greatest problem. Mia hadn't any clue where he was taking her. And she couldn't ask him, because Jonas wouldn't bother to tell her much as she assumed. Was it his revenge? Did he want to kill her now? If it should be, Mia was surprisingly relieved. If the story should end this way, it was OK. No more deaths, no more terror. It would be the end of a long, complicated escape. Her death would set her free. If it would be the price she had to pay, she accepted it. The most important thing was that Julian should not be involved in this story. It wasn’t his story, it wasn’t his fairytale.

  After a while, they came to an airport and Mia saw planes everywhere. It was a small airport in the middle of Berlin. The city lights were shining everywhere and the night life was about to start.

  She couldn't wait any longer and asked:

  -Where are we going?

  Jonas smiled groovy and shook his head. He didn't want to tell her anything. Her assumptions were correct.

  -We’ll talk later. And don’t try any tricks, because I am at least as powerful as Julian.

  Julian. Mia was focussed again. Jonas mentioned Julian again. Did Jonas’ plan foresee Julian to be involved? Mia didn't want to run away before she hadn't enough information. She wanted to know what Jonas was planning. Full of doubts, she followed him to a plane. It was a private jet. Mia didn't know whether it was normal to start flying with a private jet. Was it common here, in Berlin, to have a private jet? Actually, it didn't matter.

  The plane wasn't small. It was almost as big as the other ones around. Instead of adverts and the name of the airline, there were only some curious signs painted on it in a green colour. Mia had to climb the stairs and after she came into the plane, she was shocked by the luxury inside. There were not many seats behind the first curtain, but they were of leather and seemed to be comfortable. Everything was bright, shiny, and beige-coloured. In the middle of the small room was a round table and another curtain was to see.

  Jonas moved his head in the direction, where he ordered her to sit down. She took place in the middle of the room, so she was able to see what was coming towards her from any side. Jonas sat down opposite her, watching her very carefully all the time. Jonas blinked and didn't move when a waiter served them something to drink. Mia didn't expect anyone else to be on the plane, except of the pilots. She didn't expect to have waiters here who were dressed ordinarily and didn't catch attention. Mia had seen this person already when he came into the room.

  -You’re watchful. – Jonas said with a tone of admiration. – And if you were an actress, the Oscar would be going to you. I haven't told you yet how pleased I was by your line “I don’t love you, I’m scared of you”. I was touched. I couldn't plan it better. You were not only convincing, you also gave me a hint, I wasn't aware of until then.

  Mia looked at him with disgust. Every word of him made her feel more sick.

  -You lost your only chance to play it differently. If you would have stayed at his side, it wouldn't have been so easy. However, don’t be mad, you wouldn't win it one way or the other. I planned it already for so long that it couldn't go awry. Before I ask you some questions and before you give me the answers to my questions, I can tell you how I found out everything, unless you don't want to. I guess you’ll be a nice girl and you won’t start screaming or insulting me. If you lose your self-control, I won’t finish my story. Do we understand each other?

  Mia nodded. She was curious about his plans and every information he could give her, could be worth more than the greatest treasure in the world. It was a game for him and he was playing it at high stakes: the life was the price.

  Jonas took a more comfortable position in his chair and waited a moment before he started to narrate. His voice was clear and showed his self-satisfaction. He kept watching Mia for all the time and he was visibly pleased by her increasing disappointment.

  -I knew that I have to wait until you get older. And I had to control your steps. Every year when you moved from one city to another, I found out where you were living, where you were going to school this time and how you look. I hadn't even to look at photos to recognize you. We met already once and I remembered your eyes. People may change, but their eyes stay the same the for their whole life.

  He pointed at a glass of water and without words ordered her to drink it. She nipped at it unwillingly. She felt already a wave of fever and angriness that he apparently knew everything about her life. She tried to do her best to remain calm. She had get as much information as possible.

  -I knew how you should look like in the moment I had to use you. Then I stepped into your life once again. I knew we had some kind of mental connection. I gave you some information you needed to bring you to me. And when I saw you in the apartment of your aunt I knew that it was about time. It was your time to act, my puppet.

  Mia clenched her teeth and listened further to his narration.

  -According to our legends and according to steps, which all others undertook, I knew that now was the right constellation of time and place. It was the time to start working. And I did. I came to visit you and you recognized me. Then you visited me regularly, but nothing was happening. I knew that I had to wait and be patient. What these old fools didn't know was that you are the key to the solution. They backed the wrong horse. I always knew they were not as clever and knowledgeable as everybody said. My task was to keep you alive as long as I needed you. And that’s why you’re still living. The bait was taken.

  Mia was gulping her fury and looked at him with disgust. She was just a tool in his hands. If she knew it from the very beginning, she never would have behaved the way she did.

  -You should feel appreciated. – Jonas said respectfully. – From all people I got to know up to now, you are the one who is extraordinary. You are quite smart and attentive. In addition, I can’t read your mind, but I assume Julian can’t do it either, otherwise, he would already be here.

  While he was speaking, the plane had taken off. Mia was surprised that she was so concentrated on Jonas’ words that she didn't notice the start. She focused once again on his
words and tried to absorb as many information as possible. She tried to remain calm. Being furious right now didn't serve her and would only complicate things. She had to find out his goal. She already assumed why he kept her alive. She should be his bait. For Julian? Was Jonas trying to hurt Julian?

  In fact, if this was the role she was supposed to play, she should kill herself before Jonas would be able to use her. Mia was sitting there and decided to give away her life to protect the one she loved. The advantages were visible: Julian will survive and this pitfall won’t work. Moreover, if it was the legend, which Jonas was talking about, then she had to be a martyr and sacrifice her own life to jeopardise Jonas’ plan.

  And this would be the real end of her escape. She was tired of continuously being on the run. She was 17 and she was extremely tired of living an illusion.

  -And then you smelled different. – Jonas smiled with satisfaction. – You didn't notice it, but I knew that I was on the right way, on my way to success. I let you do your job, because I didn't know how powerful Julian was. In addition, as we missed you for some days, I already knew that Julian was hooked. I couldn't find you; surely, he doesn’t live in Warsaw. He never liked big cities. He was rather the calm one, the one who lives in the country in great harmony. It was too hard for me to find him in another way.

  Mia was frightened. Jonas was really looking for Julian. He wanted Julian. Why?

  -It’s not important. I knew that you will come back and that he will follow you. You both have different reasons. He wanted to have you and you wanted to protect your grandma, which by the way wasn't useful, and she got on my nerves quite often. She didn't know much about you and therefore I had to rely on your answers, which of course, I didn't get.

  Jonas shook his head disapprovingly.

  Mia was sitting in the leather chair, as if it would be a fire in a camp. She tried to stay calm, but Jonas could see that she was nervous. She trembled a little bit and gritted her teeth. She was holding her glass and kept it so strong in her hand that Jonas thought it will break any moment.

  Jonas was very pleased to see her pain. He enjoyed her suffering even more than when he slapped her. After a while he continued.

  -You won’t be pleased, but we have something in common. We don’t need our family to live. We don’t have families.

  Mia wanted to deny. If he wouldn't have killed her parents, she would have a great loving family. But he stepped into their life and changed it just because he wanted to have a tool to play with. She was so emotional inside that she was afraid that she would explode any second. She hoped it wasn't as visible as she felt it was.

  -You have to admit that your grandma wasn't great! – Jonas smiled crookedly.

  Mia watched him humiliated and furious. Her anger rose to a maximum. She was right before exploding like an atomic bomb.

  -And yesterday after school, it was nice that he took you to a candy shop and wanted to buy you something fashionable. That’s why I thought I will do it for him. He hadn't enough good arguments for it, but he will be glad to see you look so pretty.

  Mia almost jumped out of her chair. Every time she thought, he won’t manage to rise her madness, Jonas took her to another level. She controlled herself with the rest of her strength, and managed to stay in her seat.

  Jonas had apparently much fun annoying her and messed around in her open wounds. Mia tried to concentrate herself on what he already told her. Her sudden thought was a risky idea, but she could give it a try.

  -What does the legend say? You won’t become the king of the world.

  It was like a slap in the face. This hurt him. Jonas smiled in a scary way. She touched his nerve. It was the legend, but he wasn't sure of winning this part of the game.

  -Has Julian not told you about it? What were you talking about? – Jonas wondered with an unfriendly tone in his voice. He was unsettled, at least a little bit. He doubted whether he should tell her more or better leave it. He looked at her and clenched hands.

  -Or do you want to compare my information with his... – He was still distrusting her.

  Mia tried to look as reassured as possible. In fact, she didn’t have a clue about this legend and she was just provoking him. Priggish, snobbish people usually don't trust in their strength. The more they show themselves as powerful, the more insecure they are inside. It worked. Jonas started to talk:

  -Our Wisemen – and he spoke “Wisemen” very disrespectfully – told there is “The One Who Is Everytime” and who rules over the time, so he rules over the world. And they met “The One Who Is Everytime” a couple of times already. It is very rare to meet “The One Who Is Everytime”, because he can indeed be everywhere and every time. However, what the Wisemen didn't know is that it is indeed possible to take over the skills of our brothers and sisters. It is possible to take abilities of human beings, too, but it doesn’t bring us further. People are just weak. It doesn't pay off. But on them you can practise very well how to absorb the strength of other creatures.

  Jonas stopped. He stood up and didn't have the will to keep on talking. Mia had the impression he told her too much already.

  His plan was to use her as a bait and to absorb abilities of Julian. Did Jonas think that Julian was “The One Who Is Everytime”? or did Jonas think that Julian will bring him closer to “The One Who Is Everytime”? And why was it so important for him that it would happen right now? Was the time significant? Jonas could have attacked Julian earlier and for this, he didn't need any human being at his side.

  Mia wasn't sure. But she was sure about her mission. She had to help Julian and had to make sure she wouldn't to fall into a trap, and therefore she had to commit suicide. It was a scary thought, but she was ready to do it. She had just to make use of any good occasion. If she wouldn't exist anymore, Jonas won’t have anything to lure Julian.

  While she was thinking about it, she felt the plane was slowly losing height. She should tighten her belt, but she didn't care. Maybe this was the right moment to jeopardise Jonas plan? Jonas saw she was somehow too calm and fastened her seatbelt. He looked suspiciously at her and as he would in fact read her mind, he said:

  -You should wait to see who’s on board with us before you try some tricks.

  Mia tried to look surprised that he was suspecting her of making any plans.

  -You know that I was never abroad and that I have no idea how to behave in a plane. – She said as her excuse.

  He seemed to believe it. Mia wondered what game he was planning, and who could be included in his intrigue. She had a sense of foreboding. It wasn’t strange to be sure about wanting to die. Mia was surprised that she made this decision. Her life wasn't the best, there has never been much success, in fact, it was more a sequence of defeats and scary moments. However, it was her life and it was worth to be lived the way she was living it. She was happy to have met Julian on her way and if it was foreseen since centuries, she was relieved that it worked out. Her moment of happiness was worth to sacrifice her life now. However, it was in her hand, at least for a short while, to prevent bad things from happening.