You're Still The One
#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#
We finally arrived in Kentucky around ten that night and found a nice little hotel a few miles off the interstate and booked a room. It was nice to be back, I didn't realize how much I had missed this place. I moved so quickly, I never thought about coming back. Of course, I wanted to move, I really did, there had been so much tragedy, I just couldn't handle it anymore.
Still, I was a little angry with myself. Why didn't I at least come back for memorial day? Nick's grave deserved to be taken care of and I just left it unattended. How could I do something like that? It's like I just left everything behind, including him.
When we got to our room, Logan took a quick shower as I got ready for bed... Well, that's what I was supposed to do. Instead, I laid down and pulled the covers up to my chin. I put a few pillows behind me to help ease my aching back, or at least that's what I told Logan when he joined me. The real reason was to keep him on his side of the bed.
Once he fell asleep, he was out cold. I knew he would be, when he was really tired, an earthquake wouldn't wake him up. So, I waited about ten minutes after he fell asleep and slipped out of bed.
I grabbed the key card and left the room. By now, it was almost eleven and I knew I shouldn't be leaving this time of the night, but I had to. I wanted to go to the cemetery by myself and if I told Logan, he was sure to come with me.
I stopped by Walmart on the way and picked up some flowers for his grave. By the time I got to the cemetery, it was almost midnight. Thankfully, this side of town was well lit with tons of streetlamps, so I didn’t really have the fear of darkness.
I parked on the side of the street and walked up the path to the graveyard. Even though it had been a few years, I knew exactly where his grave was. That was something I could never forget...
As I continued up the path, I remembered the last time I had been here. I was walking behind his casket as they carried him up the hill to his plot. The General was in front of me and Logan beside me. Who would have ever thought that the next time I would visit, I would be married to my grief counselor.
Once I reached the top of the hill, the path branched off into different directions. I took to the left and within a few more steps, Nick's grave was in front of me. To my surprise, it had been taken care of. There was a rose bush growing up the side of his headstone, an angel statue on the other side, and a white bench in front. That's when I had remembered Nick's father. I bet he's taking care of it.
I sat the flowers down in front of the stone and sat down on the bench. At first, I wasn't sure what to do... Why had I come here? Was I just supposed to sit here and think about the good times? No. In my heart, I knew what I had to do. I came here for peace of mind. I needed to talk to him...
"Well, I'll bet you never thought you'd see me here... Especially in the middle of the night..." I smile weakly as nothing happens... "I know you've been watching over me... You always have and I know that you're aware of what happened with Sarah." A tear escapes my eye. "Nick, I don’t know what I did wrong, I wanted to help her, I did, but why would the General give me someone that I couldn't help?"
The wind picks up a little as I sigh in relief. He's here.
You don't need to worry, Caroline. You were never meant to save her.
"What? But that's what the General said... I was supposed to help them through their grief like Logan helped me..."
A strong puff of wind startled me.
No, Caroline... Sarah had her mind made up way before she met you. You were never supposed to help her, she was supposed to help you.
"I don't understand..." I shake my head.
It may not sink in right now, but she really did help you. She brought you here, didn't she? You came to me instead of me having to appear to you. Caroline, she was like your twin. Her family didn't speak to her, she didn't have any friends... Jon was all she had. Sound familiar?
"I know, but why was I meant to meet her?"
The wind pauses momentarily. She showed you what would have happened to you if Logan wasn't there... If Logan didn't follow the right path, you wouldn't be sitting here. You'd be where I am now.
My eyes go wide, "I would have died?"
Yes, you would have given up on life and grieved yourself to death. Logan would have done the same thing, he would have been upset with himself for not keeping his promise to me. He would pass away just a couple weeks after you... So be thankful for him and help him. He needs you now more than ever and I think you know what I mean... Logan, you can come out now...
I hear a rustling sound as I turn around and see Logan standing behind me. He comes over and sits down next to me. "I'm sorry I followed you. I didn't mean to, I actually planned to do the same thing when you fell asleep."
"Did you hear us?" I ask curiously.
He nods, "Yeah, good thing you gave me a chance, huh?" He smiles, weakly.
I've got to go but please never forget what I've said tonight. Logan may have saved your human life, Care, but you saved his spirit. I'll always be watching over you. And by the way, Logan, I miss you too, buddy.
And with that, he was gone. I turned to Logan, "How'd you get here?"
"Taxi. I was actually here before you were. I was getting a little worried but then I realized you wouldn’t come until you had something to put on his grave... Now, let's get back to the hotel. No one should be at a cemetery after dark." He stands and pulls me up.
We walk hand in hand to the car as we both take in what just happened. I'll always be thankful for Nick, he was my first love, after all, but if Logan wasn't my last, neither of us would be here.
I thank God for them both, they'll never truly understand how much they mean to me.