You're Still The One
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That evening, I could honestly say that I saw my life flash in front of my eyes. I wasn’t the one in danger, but I couldn’t imagine what Logan was feeling. He lost a lot of men and had even more injured. Would he blame himself? Or was he really more focused on making it out alone?
No, that wasn’t Logan and I knew that. He would have tried to save his unit before himself, no matter what. When Katie had told me that it was Logan’s unit, I was completely mortified. What were the chances that tragedy would strike my life again? And in the same way?
I didn’t realize until after the phone call with the General, what Nick had told me in my dream. He was right, Logan would be okay, and I felt a little ashamed for not believing him. Not only that, but I had actually forgotten about the dream.
That was so unlike me to just forget about Nick, but in the moment, I was so worried about Logan, I had almost forgotten that I was pregnant. I guess adrenaline just kicked in and nothing else mattered. Still, I was ashamed of my actions and I couldn’t even bear the thought of forgetting Nick, much less the human being inside me.
It’s amazing what that kind of thing can do to a person…
After we heard the news, Katie insisted that I go home, since Logan would most likely call there first. Alex and I rode all the way home in silence. He didn’t even so much as make a sound until I parked the car in the garage. “You really love him, don’t you?” He mutters.
I look at him curiously, “What? Of course, why would I move here with him? Why would I have married him, if I didn’t?”
“It’s just that most people in my life only marry for wealth and power.”
This kind of shocked me, but then again, considering how his mother used to be… “Well then, I feel very sorry for those people. They’ve never felt true love before, what a waste of life.” I lock the car and walk into the house.
Helen was so relieved when I told her the news. She wished I would have gotten to talk to him, but I told her he would call when he was rested. Afterward, we all just sat around and waited. Everyone seemed to be getting antsy around midnight, but instead of waiting up all night, I told them that we all should go to bed. I would take the phone with me and if he called, I would wake them up.
Since I was so exhausted, I thought as soon as my head hit the pillow, I would be fast asleep, but it seemed as if I was wrong. I was exhausted, but my mind wouldn’t rest. I keep watching the phone, hoping it would ring just any minute. It never did and after three hours of tossing and turning, I finally dozed off.
I slept pretty peacefully the rest of the night and woke up around seven. I checked the caller ID, just in case I had missed his call, and thank God, I hadn’t.
I had a sudden urge to eat sour patch kids and peanut butter, so that’s exactly what I did. “Such weird combinations,” Alex says, walking into the kitchen.
“Don’t question me.” I add as Helen joins us.
“Caroline, are you sure you don’t want me to fix you some eggs or something?” She asks, curiously.
“No, no, I’m just fine, thank you.”
Breakfast was pretty quiet until, finally, the phone rang. I grabbed it in one swift motion and answered it before it could ring a second time. “Logan?”
“Hey, Care, I’m sorry I didn’t call earlier.”
“No, it’s fine. How are you?” I ask as I put him on speaker so Alex and Helen would stop trying to steal the phone.
“Better than yesterday… Uh, the General wants to talk to you for a second.” I hear the phone be taken away and then it’s silent for a minute.
I hear a door close and finally the General answers. “Caroline, is anyone else with you?”
“Yeah, Logan’s mom and brother, why?”
“Good, I want them to hear this as well… I’m afraid Logan was a little more hurt than I expected. Physically he’ll heal, but emotionally, he’s… Well, a lot of his best men died and he keeps telling me it’s his fault. He took quite a blow out there and I think, in his current state, it would be best if he came home.”
My eyes went wide and I couldn’t help but smile a little. “Really? He’s coming home?”
“Caroline, I realize you’re excited, but please listen for a minute… I haven’t told Logan yet and I’m afraid he won’t take it well. I just wanted to warn you that he may not be the Logan you remember when he returns. He’s been through a lot and I don’t think keeping him here is a good idea. I don’t want him to put his life on the line when he’s clearly not physically and emotionally ready to return to battle.”
“You think he’ll develop post-traumatic stress?” Helen asks.
“Yes… I’m going to tell him he’s going home now and I was hoping I could keep you on the phone until I do.”
“Of course.” I add as another door closes and I hear Logan again, “What was that about? Is she still there?”
“Yes, she’s on speaker, I wanted her to stay on the line until I told you the news…” My heart begins to race a bit as Logan responds. “What news?”
“Logan, I’m sending you home.”
“Home? What? Why? My unit, a lot of my guys made it! We can fight just like everyone else!”
“Captain, I’m sending the rest of your unit home. You are no longer needed in this fight. I am very certain that this war will be won. You need to go home and rest. Besides, you need to be there for Caroline, isn’t that what you wanted?”
“Sir, I will not just leave. I can’t just walk away, my job isn’t complete!” I can tell by the tone of his voice that he was getting more and more aggravated by the second.
“Logan, please calm down…” I mutter.
“Captain, this is not a choice, it’s an order. Your job is complete and besides, do you remember what you told me all those years ago when you met Caroline? You said you couldn’t leave her, you promised Nick you would take care of her and that’s exactly what you intended to do. Remember that? You’re leaving on the first flight out. End of discussion. Caroline, I’ll call you later and tell you all of the details. Take care.” And with that, the phone was disconnected.
I was happy Logan was coming home, but after this, I was beginning to wonder about what the General had said… What if he’s not the same Logan? He was definitely more upset than I had expected and that was something that terrified me… I didn’t like it when Logan was angry, but right now, I just wanted him home. I wanted us to act like a normal family…
That was all I ever wanted.
To be normal…