House of Echoes

  Luke raised an eyebrow. He caught Joss’s eye and grinned. ‘Not bad. A Belheddonist. I like that.’

  Joss laughed uncomfortably. ‘Is that what we are too?’

  ‘Lotus eaters, one and all.’ He began stacking the pieces of metal back into an old cardboard box. Standing up he walked over to the sink to wash his hands under the tap. ‘So, shall I put on the kettle?’

  Joss nodded. ‘Then I’d better get back to work. I don’t seem to be making much progress at the moment.’ Her deadline was not very far off and twice now she had had letters from Robert Cassie asking her if she thought she would complete the book on time. They had only added to her guilt.

  It wasn’t until Joss had retreated to her study, cup of tea in hand, and Lyn had set Tom drawing pictures at the table with a box full of crayons that Lyn sat down opposite Luke. ‘What really happened yesterday?’

  ‘Yesterday?’

  ‘You know what I mean, Luke. The lake.’

  ‘I fell in.’

  ‘Fell?’

  ‘Yes, fell.’ He looked up and met her gaze. ‘Leave it, Lyn. I’ve told you before. This is between Joss and me.’

  ‘Is it? And is it between you and her when she hurts the children? You don’t think those bruises on Tom came from the fall, do you? There were finger marks, for God’s sake. And Ned. How many accidents has he had now? Little ones, admittedly. A knock here and there, a blanket over the face. What about the things we don’t know about? What is it going to take for you to pay attention, Luke?’ She stood up and paced up and down the floor a couple of times. ‘Can’t you see what’s under your nose? Joss can’t cope. She’s depressed. It’s all getting too much for her. I think she’s hurting them. She’s doing it. It’s a plea for help, Luke, but who knows how far it will go? You have to do something.’

  ‘Lyn, you don’t know what you’re saying!’ Angrily Luke thumped the table with his fist. ‘You’re her sister, for God’s sake – ’

  ‘No. No, Luke, I’m not her sister. Not any more. That’s been made perfectly clear. But I still love her like a sister.’ She pushed her hair out of her eyes angrily. ‘And I can see what’s happening. This house, the family, even these bloody ghosts she thinks are here – everything is combining to make her depressed. She’s not writing, you know. I’ve looked at that manuscript on her mother’s precious desk. She had got to page 147 three or four weeks ago and she’s written nothing since. She just sits there, brooding.’

  ‘Lyn, it may have escaped your notice but she’s trying to do a lot of the housework as well as feed Ned and write a book. And why is she doing housework? Because you feel you’re being asked to do too much! She’s tired, Lyn.’

  ‘Yes, she’s tired. I’m tired. We’re all tired. But we don’t go around hurting the children.’

  She became aware suddenly that Tom had put down his crayons and was staring at her and Luke solemnly, eyes huge, thumb in mouth. ‘Oh, Tom, darling.’ She ran to him and picked him up, swinging him onto her hip. ‘Aunty Lyn is going to look after you, sweetheart, I promise.’

  ‘Lyn.’ Luke controlled his temper with difficulty. ‘Please, don’t ever say things like that again. It’s not true. Joss would never, never hurt the children.’

  ‘No?’ She glared at him. ‘Why don’t we ask Tom?’

  ‘No!’ He stood up, sending the chair shooting backwards across the floor. ‘No, Lyn that’s enough. Have some common sense, please!’

  Angrier than he had been for a long time, he slammed out of the kitchen and into the hall, aware of Tom’s gaze, thoughtful somehow beyond his years, fixed unwaveringly on his back.

  In the great hall he stopped in the middle of the floor and took a deep breath. He was letting Lyn get to him and it was crazy. He could see what she was up to – undermining Joss, trying to win him and the children away from her, planting seeds of doubt. Damn it, she almost had him believing it was Joss who had pushed him into the lake.

  Around him the room seemed suddenly very silent. Ramming his hands down into the pockets of his cords he shivered, staring down at the empty hearth. A mound of cold ash lay between the fire dogs, a scattering of small twigs around it. The room was very cold. He could feel the chill striking up from the flag stones into his bones. He was conscious suddenly of the sound of the wind in the great chimney. It was moaning gently and every now and then as a stronger gust shook the house the sound changed and took on a strange resemblance to laughter – children’s laughter.

  ‘Joss!’ He turned abruptly and strode towards the study.

  She was standing staring out of the French windows at the dark garden. The computer, he noticed, was not even switched on.

  ‘Joss, what are you doing?’ He saw her guilty jump and the way she reached for the curtains, pulling them quickly across to shut out the darkness almost as though she didn’t want him to see what it was she had been watching. He also saw the surreptitious gesture she made to wipe away the tears on her cheeks.

  ‘Joss, what is it? Why are you crying?’

  She shrugged, still not looking at him.

  ‘Joss, come here.’ He drew her into his arms and held her against him. ‘Tell me.’

  Wordlessly she shrugged again. How could she tell him her fears? They sounded crazy. They were crazy! The images which haunted her dreams and her waking hours were no more than that – images which derived from some archetypal nightmare world where Luke was being threatened on every side and Ned and Tom were in danger of their lives and other people, people she didn’t know, were running, fearful, through the house.

  The young man writhed in pain, spittle frothing at the corners of his mouth, his hands clutching at hers.

  ‘Katherine! Sweet wife! Hold me.’

  ‘Richard!’ She pressed her lips against his hot sweating forehead and soothed him gently.

  ‘I’m done for, sweetheart.’ He retched again, his body contorted. ‘Remember me.’

  ‘How could I forget,’ she whispered. ‘But you will get well. I know you will get well.’ She was crying so hard she could hardly see his face.

  He shook his head. He had read his doom in his mother-in-law’s eyes. ‘No, my love, no. I have to leave you.’

  He too was crying as he died.

  ‘Is it the book? Are you having trouble with the book?’ He was talking softly, his mouth pressed against her hair. ‘Joss, you mustn’t let things get out of proportion, love. It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters so much that you let it make you ill.’

  His arms round her were strong. Within their embrace she felt completely safe, and yet John Bennet had been strong; her own real father had presumably been strong and what had happened to them? With a violent shudder she pushed Luke away. ‘Take no notice of me. I’m being silly. It’s lack of sleep, that’s all.’

  ‘Joss, you know Lyn has offered – ’

  ‘Oh, I know she has offered.’ The emotion in Joss’s response astonished her as much as Luke. ‘I don’t want her taking over Ned’s life. I don’t want her doing every single thing for him. I don’t want him to think she is his mother. I want him myself, Luke. I want to look after him! She’s stealing him from me.’

  ‘Of course she isn’t, Joss – ’

  ‘No? Take a look at things.’ She tore herself out of his grip and went to stand in front of the computer. The screen was a reproachful blank.

  ‘You take a look at things, Joss.’ Luke kept his voice deliberately even. ‘You and I are employing Lyn to be the children’s nanny. We are giving her board and lodging and a small wage to do a job. That was supposed to help both of you. She needed a job and I suspect a home away from Alice and Joe for a bit to give her some independence, and you wanted space to write a book and get on with doing up Belheddon and researching its history. After Tom was born you felt the restrictions of looking after a small child very badly if you remember. Having Lyn here wasn’t a plot to deprive you of the boys, Joss. It was to help you. If it’s not working, we’ll tell her to go.’

  Sit
ting down at her desk, Joss put her head in her hands. Wearily she rubbed her temples. ‘Oh, Luke. I’m sorry. I’ve been feeling as though my life has been running away with me. As if it is living me instead of me living it!’

  He laughed. ‘Silly old Joss. If ever there was a lady in charge of her own destiny, it’s you.’

  Joss put both children to bed while Lyn was making the supper and they were sitting round the table in the kitchen when Janet arrived. Shedding her Barbour in the back porch she came in, her cheeks whipped pink by the wind, her hair wet and tangled. ‘I’ve got something for my godson in the car.’ She accepted the offer of a cup of coffee with alacrity. ‘It’s so gorgeous I had to bring it straight over. Until he’s old enough I thought his brother would adore it too.’

  ‘Janet, you spoil them. First Kit and Kat, and now – what is it?’

  Janet beamed. ‘All right. I can’t wait. I’m no good at building suspense. Come and help me, Luke. It’s in the back of the car.’

  They disappeared outside the door, letting in a waft of wet night air.

  Joss glanced at Lyn. ‘Have we got enough to offer her supper? Roy is still away at some conference or other so she’s on her own.’

  ‘Of course we have.’ Lyn nodded vehemently. ‘You know I always make enough for two or three meals.’

  ‘Great,’ Joss nodded. ‘Lyn – I’m sorry I’ve been a bit of a bear.’

  Lyn turned to the stove so that Joss couldn’t see her face. ‘That’s OK.’ She was going to add something else when the door reopened and Luke staggered in carrying a wooden rocking horse.

  ‘Janet!’ Joss’s squeal was one of genuine pleasure. ‘It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen!’

  Hand carved in painted dapple grey, the horse had a rippling black mane and tail and a red leather bridle and saddle, studded with brass headed nails.

  ‘Tom is going to adore it.’ She stroked the shining mane as Luke set it down on the floor by the dresser.

  ‘I always thought there should be a rocking horse at Belheddon.’ Janet picked up her mug and warmed her hands on it. ‘I was so sure there must be one hidden away somewhere that I sent your brother, Luke, on a secret mission to all the old attics and outbuildings when he was here for the christening.’

  ‘He never said.’ Joss stared at her, amused.

  Janet shook her head. ‘No sign of a rocking horse, he said. It was originally going to be a christening present, but then I realised how long it was going to take to make. There’s a waiting list with this chap near Sudbury who makes them.’

  She chuckled as Kit and Kat, climbing languidly from their basket by the stove crept up to the horse and feigning indifference inspected it from a safe distance before pouncing at the long tail.

  ‘Another of your wonderful craftsmen.’ Luke put his arm around Janet’s shoulders and gave her a hug. ‘Clever girl. I had no idea old Mat was poking round in the attics. He did that very discreetly.’ He glanced at Joss, but her attention appeared to be fully on the horse. ‘Shall we see if Tom is still awake? If he is he can come down to see it while Janet’s here? As it’s a very special occasion.’

  Janet nodded. ‘Oh please. Would you? Just this once? I know it was a silly time to bring it, but I only collected it this afternoon, and I couldn’t wait.’

  ‘I’ll get him.’ Luke strode towards the door. ‘It’s the sort of surprise he’ll probably remember all his life.’

  The kitchen was warm, full of succulent smells from the cooker. Kit and Kat, having examined the new acquisition in great detail were curled up once more, safe in their basket, when there was a click and then a crackle from the baby alarm standing on the dresser. ‘Joss!’ Luke’s voice was tinny, distant, but sharp with anxiety. ‘Where is he, Joss?’

  Joss stared at the dresser. ‘What do you mean, where is he?’ But he couldn’t hear her. Her frantic question shouted into the speaker of a one-way system was lost in the silence of the kitchen.

  ‘Christ!’ Lyn pushed away the bottle she was opening so violently it fell over and rolled to the edge of the table, splashing wine onto the flags. ‘What’s happened now?’ She looked at Joss for a fraction of a second before she made for the door.

  The three women ran for the staircase and found Luke standing in Tom’s bedroom. The bed was neat and appeared unslept in. ‘The baby alarm was switched off. Where is he, Joss? Where did you put Tom?’ His voice was shaking as he caught her arm.

  ‘What do you mean where did I put him?’ Joss stared down at the little bed in disbelief. ‘He was here. I tucked him in, he had his teddy.’ A cold lump of something like stone seemed to have settled in her stomach as she stared round wildly. ‘He was here. He was fine. I read him a chapter of Dr Seuss – look, here’s the book.’ It was lying face down on his chest of drawers near the night light. She stared down at the new candle in the holder. ‘I lit it. I remember lighting it …’ The electric lamp had been too bright.

  ‘Where is he, Joss?’ Luke’s grip tightened on her arm.

  She shook her head. ‘He was here.’

  ‘For God’s sake, she’s obviously not going to tell us. We’ve got to look.’ Lyn’s voice was shaking. She turned back out of the room and crossed the narrow corridor into Ned’s. The baby was fast asleep. There was no sign of Tom in there.

  ‘He’s in the attic,’ Joss whispered suddenly. ‘I think he’s in the attic with the boys.’ She didn’t know how she knew.

  The others stared at her for a moment and she was the one to run first towards the attic stairs. ‘Tom –’ her scream echoed round the house. ‘Tom, where are you?’

  He was sitting contentedly in the middle of the double bed in the attic room which had been occupied by Elizabeth and Geoffrey Grant. Before him, on the middle of the eiderdown was a box of wooden animals. At the sight of the faces in the doorway he beamed at them contentedly.

  ‘Georgie’s toys,’ he said happily. ‘Tom play with Georgie’s toys.’

  * * *

  ‘How many times do I have to tell you, I put him to bed.’ Joss sat down at the table and put her head in her hands. ‘He was all right. I read him a story. I tucked him in. I put the side of the cot up and checked it. I lit the night light and I turned on the baby alarm.’

  Tom had gone back to his bed with only a token protest, after twenty minutes ecstatic rocking on the horse, asleep almost as soon as his head touched the pillow. Making sure the alarm was on this time, they left him and came back down to the kitchen.

  Luke was watching her soberly. ‘Perhaps you ought to see Simon, Joss,’ he said tentatively. ‘Honestly, it might be the best. I’m sure it’s no more than a lapse of concentration or something because of your tiredness.’

  ‘There is nothing wrong with me.’ Joss rubbed the palms of her hands up and down her face several times, hard. ‘For God’s sake, why will no one believe me?’

  She was conscious of Lyn and Luke exchanging glances. It was Janet who came up to her and gave her a hug. ‘I believe you, Joss. I think there’s something funny in this house. And I think you should all leave. Come and stay with me. We’ve plenty of room. I’d love to have you.’ She glanced at them all again. ‘Please.’

  ‘That’s kind of you, Janet.’ Luke spoke firmly before Joss had a chance to reply. ‘But there is no need. There is nothing odd about the house which isn’t in my wife’s imagination. She has been scared by a lot of silly stories and the sooner we admit that, the better. I’m sure she’s fine. All she needs is to rest. I’ll get Simon to come over tomorrow and prescribe something.’

  ‘Luke!’ Joss stared at him. ‘How dare you! It’s me you’re talking about. You sound like a Victorian patriarch! I am not imagining things, and I did not take Tom upstairs and leave him in the ice cold attics to gratify my lurid imagination. And where did those toys come from, is any one going to tell me that? I’ve never seen them before. If they were Georgie’s, how did Tom Tom know? Oh, Luke, how could you think that I would terrify my own child like that!’ r />
  ‘He wasn’t terrified, Joss,’ Janet said quietly. ‘Whatever happened and however he got up there, he wasn’t terrified. He was having a good time with those toys, and that’s the main thing, surely. There is no harm done.’

  ‘There’s a great deal of harm done.’ Lyn’s hands were shaking. Sitting down abruptly, she chewed her lip, trying to stop herself sobbing out loud. ‘When will someone realise that the children are in danger?’

  ‘I agree.’ Joss met her eye steadily. ‘The children are in danger. But not, for God’s sake, from me!’

  ‘There is no danger.’ Luke gave a deep dramatic sigh. ‘My God, this is what happens when you have a house full of hysterical women. For heaven’s sake pull yourselves together. This is the twentieth century. The nineteen nineties. Lyn, let’s have supper. Please! We’ll forget all this for now. Tom Tom is asleep and safe and the alarm is on, so there is nothing for us to fret about for now.’

  There was a moment’s silence as all four of them looked towards the dresser where the small white plastic box of the baby alarm sat between a bowl of fruit and the coffee jug. From it came the sound of gentle snuffling snores.

  26

  ‘Tom Tom, are you awake?’ Joss lowered the side of the cot gently and touched the little boy’s cheek with a cautious finger. ‘Tom Tom, can you hear Mummy?’

  He mumbled and stirred slightly in his sleep.

  ‘Tom Tom, who was it that took you upstairs to play with Georgie’s toys?’ she whispered.

  There was no reply. The little boy began to breathe deeply and evenly again, his eyes tight shut, his thumb in his mouth. Joss watched him for a few minutes in silence. Across the passageway Ned, fed and changed had snuggled back into his own small crib and both rooms, lit by the gentle glow of night lights were warm and safe. The sound of the wind playing amongst the gables of the house emphasised the silence and the gentle breathing of the sleeping child.

  With a sigh she turned away from the cot. Lying on the chest of drawers, just within the pool of light thrown by the night light lay a white rose.