Cæsar's Column: A Story of the Twentieth Century

of universal misery a race might again arise worthy of thesplendid heritage God has bestowed upon us.

  Mr. Jansen had closed up his forge in honor of our visit, and haddonned a new broadcloth suit, in which he seemed as comfortable as awhale in an overcoat. Christina ran out to meet us, bright andhandsome, all in white, with roses in her curly hair. The sweet-facedold lady took her to her arms, and called her "my daughter," andkissed her, and expressed her pleasure that her son was about tomarry so good and noble a girl. Mrs. Jansen held back modestly atfirst, a little afraid of "the great folks," but she was broughtforward by Christina, and introduced to us all. And then we had tomake the acquaintance of the whole flock of blue-eyed, curly-haired,rosy-cheeked little ones, gay in white dresses and bright ribbons.Even Master Ole forgot, for a time, his enrapturing hammer and nails,and stood, with eyes like saucers, contemplating the irruption ofoutside barbarians. We went into the house, and there, with many alaugh and jest, the spectacled school-teacher was transformed into myown bright and happy Estella. The two girls flowed into one another,by natural affinity, like a couple of drops of quicksilver; eachrecognized the transparent soul in the other, and in a moment theywere friends for life.

  We were a jolly party. Care flew far away from us, and many a laughand jest resounded.

  "There is one thing, Christina," said Max, "that I cannot comprehend,and of which I demand an explanation. Your name is 'ChristinaJansen,' and yet you appeared in public by the name of 'ChristinaCarlson.' Now I refuse to marry you until this thing is explained;for I may be arrested and charged with bigamy for marrying two womenat once! I am willing to wed 'Christina Jansen'--but what am I to dowith 'Christina Carlson'? I could be "happy with either were t'otherdear charmer away.'"

  Christina laughed and blushed and said:

  "If you do not behave yourself you shall not have either of theChristinas. But I will tell you, my dear friend, how that happened.You must know that in our Sweden, especially in the northern part ofit, where father and mother came from, we are a very primitivepeople--far 'behind the age,' you will say. And there we have nofamily names, like Brown or Jones or Smith; but each man is simplythe son of his father, and he takes his father's first name. Thus if'Peter' has a son and he is christened 'Ole,' then he is 'OlePeterson,' or Ole the son of Peter; and if his son is called 'John,'then he is 'John Oleson.' I think, from what I have read in the booksyou gave me, Frank, that the same practice prevailed, centuries ago,in England, and that is how all those English names, such as Johnson,Jackson, Williamson, etc., came about. But the females of the family,in Sweden, are called 'daughters' or 'dotters;' and hence, by thecustom of my race, I am 'Christina Carl's Dotter.' And when Mr.Bingham asked me my name to print on his play bills, that is what Ianswered him; but he said 'Christina Carl's Dotter' was no name atall. It would never do; and so he called me 'Christina Carlson.'There you have the explanation of the whole matter."

  "I declare," said Frank, "this thing grows worse and worse! Why,there are three of you. I shall have to wed not only 'ChristinaJansen,' and 'Christina Carlson,' but 'Christina Carl's Dotter.' Why,that would be not only bigamy, but _trigamy!_"

  And then Estella came to the rescue, and said that she felt sure thatMax would be glad to have her even if there were a dozen of her.

  And Frank, who had become riotous, said to me:

  "You see, old fellow, you are about to marry a girl with a pedigree,and I another without one."

  "No," said Christina, "I deny that charge; with us the very name webear declares the pedigree. I am 'Christina Carl's Dotter,' and'Carl' was the son of 'John,' who was the son of 'Frederick,' who wasthe son of 'Christian;' and so on for a hundred generations. I have along pedigree; and I am very proud of it; and, what is more, theywere all good, honest, virtuous people." And she heightened up a bit.And then Frank kissed her before us all, and she boxed his ears, andthen dinner was announced.

  And what a pleasant dinner it was: the vegetables, crisp and fresh,were from their own garden; and the butter and milk and cream andschmearkase from their own dairy; and the fruit from their own trees;and the mother told us that the pudding was of Christina's ownmaking; and thereupon Frank ate more of it than was good for him; andeverything was so neat and bright, and everybody so happy; and Frankvowed that there never was before such luscious, golden butter; andMrs. Jansen told us that that was the way they made it in Sweden, andshe proceeded to explain the whole process. The only unhappy personat the table, it seemed to me, was poor Carl, and he had a wretchedpremonition that he was certainly going to drop some of the food onthat brand-new broadcloth suit of his. I feel confident that when wetook our departure he hurried to take off that overwhelming grandeur,with very much the feeling with which the dying saint shuffles offthe mortal coil, and soars to heaven.

  But then, in the midst of it all, there came across me the dreadfulthought of what was to burst upon the world in a few days; and Icould have groaned aloud in anguish of spirit. I felt we were likesilly sheep gamboling on the edge of the volcano. But why not? We hadnot brought the world to this pass. Why should we not enjoy thesunshine, and that glorious light, brighter than all sunshine--thelove of woman? For God alone, who made woman--the true woman--knowsthe infinite capacities for good which he has inclosed within hersoul. And I don't believe one bit of that orthodox story. I think Eveate the apple to obtain knowledge, and Adam devoured the core becausehe was hungry.

  And these thoughts, of course, were suggested by my looking atEstella. She and Christina were in a profound conference; the twoshades of golden hair mingling curiously as they whispered to eachother, and blushed and laughed. And then Estella came over to me, andsmiled and blushed again, and whispered: "Christina is delighted withthe plan."

  And then I said to Max, in a dignified, solemn way:

  'My dear Max, or Frank, or Arthur, or whatever thy name may be--and'if thou hast no other name to call thee by I will call theedevil'--I have observed, with great regret, that thou art very muchafraid of standing up to-morrow and encountering in wedlock'sceremony the battery of bright eyes of the three Christinas. Now Irealize that a friend should not only 'bear a friend's infirmities,'but that he should stand by him in the hour of danger; and soto-morrow, 'when fear comes down upon you like a house,' Estella andI have concluded to stand with you, in the imminent deadly breach,and share your fate; and if, when you get through, there are any ofthe Christinas left, I will--with Estella's permission--even marrythem myself 'For I am determined that such good material shall not goto waste.'

  There was a general rejoicing, and Max embraced me; and then hehugged Christina; and then I took advantage of the excuse--I was veryhappy in finding such excuses--to do likewise by my stately beauty;and then there was handshaking by the old folks all around, andkisses from the little folks.

  Not long afterward there was much whispering and laughing betweenChristina and Estella; they were in the garden; they seemed to bereading some paper, which they held between them. And then thatscamp, Max, crept quietly behind them, and, reaching over, snatchedthe paper out of their hands. And then Estella looked disturbed, andglanced at me and blushed; and Max began to dance and laugh, andcried out, "Ho! ho! we have a poet in the family!" And then Irealized that some verses, which I had given Estella the day before,had fallen into the hands of that mocker. I would not give much for aman who does not grow poetical when he is making love. It is to manwhat song is to the bird. But to have one's weaknesses exposed--thatis another matter! And so I ran after Max; but in vain. He climbedinto a tree, and then began to recite my love poetry:

  "Listen to this," he cried; "here are fourteen verses; each onebegins and ends with the word _'thee.'_ Here's a sample:

  "'All thought, all fear, all grief, all earth, all air, Forgot shall be; Knit unto each, to each kith, kind and kin,-- Life, like these rhyming verses, shall begin And end in--_thee!_'

  "And here," he cried, "is another long poem. Phœbus! what aname--_'Artesian Waters!'_

  Here Christ
ina, Estella and I pelted the rogue with apples.

  "I know why they are called 'Artesian Waters,'" he cried; "it isbecause it took a great _bore_ to produce them. Hal ha! But listen toit:

  "'There is a depth at which perpetual springs Fresh water, in all lands: The which once reached, the buried torrent flings Its treasures o'er the sands.'

  "Ouch!" he cried, "that one hit me on the nose: I mean the apple, notthe verse.

  "'One knows